Tag: terribleminds (page 1 of 4)

It’s time, I’m afraid, for some Terribleminds-flavored Wendig-themed policies up in here.

Or, put differently, it’s time to be a dick.

I hate to do it but, lately I’ve been getting… lots of emails. And the occasional tweets or Facebook message or G+ missive. I’m getting lots of folks asking me for lots of different things.

And most of the time, for a number of reasons, I can’t help you. Or I’m the wrong person to ask. Or you should know better. So, here I am. Being a big ol jerky-faced jerk-machine.

Apologies in advance. But here are the declarations. (They’ll go up in the menu bar eventually.)

Will You Read My [Novel / Script / Manifesto / Insane Screed]?

Mmmnope. Sorry! I’ll try to be polite about it if you ask, unless I’m having a bad day, in which case I’ll just point you to this. The reasons I won’t read your [whatever] are many.

I’m busy. I have books to write. Blogs to post. And there is a 14-month-old human tornado who fills my life with joy and chaos and sharp toys that stab me in the sole of my foot.

I’m also busy reading other stuff. Research. Work from colleagues and friends. Weird porn.

I also have books and things I want to read, but don’t have much time to do as it stands.

I also don’t want you to sue me.

I also don’t want to read your work and have it inform my work.

So, no, I won’t.

This (and many of the “policies” below) isn’t necessarily true if you and I are friends. Like, actual friends or at least well-established colleagues, not like, “Person I occasionally tweet to online.”

Will You Blurb My Book?

I may. But, like I already said, I’m hella busy.

Here’s my current blurb rules:

I prefer hard copies to electronic copies whenever possible.

If I don’t know you, you’re better off having an agent or editor contact me.

I can’t commit to a short deadline. (“I need a blurb by tomorrow at 2:3o!”)

I cannot promise a blurb, but I can promise I’ll try.

I may not like your book. Not because it’s bad but because, hey, tastes are tastes.

I am far less likely to consider blurbing a self-published book because, regrettably, the line between “unpublished manuscript” and “soon-to-be-self-published book” is razor thin. I am pro-indie author but I’ve seen far too many self-published books that just don’t meet the level of quality needed.

If I know you, your chances just went way, way up.

Will You Retweet My Tweet?

Probably not.

I know, it’s for your Kickstarter. Or your friend. Or your friend’s mom. Or charity! Who doesn’t love charity?

The problem? I get a lot of these requests. And I like to think that, while I’m no “tastemaker” (the very word makes my mouth taste like I just licked a dirty battery), I hope that when I do retweet something it’s something that my audience will dig. Maybe I like it and I want them to like it. Maybe it’s not for me but I think it’ll be for them. Maybe I just got a wild hair up my ass. Who knows?

Occasionally I’ll get the sentiment — “But I retweet your stuff!” — and to that I say, I appreciate that. However, my sincerest hope is that you’re spreading around stuff because you honestly like it, not because you think it’s some kind of favor. I mean it with no bile on my tongue when I say, please, don’t do that. Retweet my stuff because you think it’s awesome, not because you imagine it’s going into some kind of weird social media credit account. And if my stuff isn’t awesome, for heaven’s sake, don’t spread it around.

And, regarding charity: I am all for charity. Everybody’s got their own charitable inclinations and I don’t judge where or how you send your money to charity (only that I hope you do). If you really want me to check it out, you can bounce me the link over Twitter, and ask me to look at it.

Again: if I know you or you’re a friend, the rules are different.

Can I Write A Guest Blog For You?

Nope!

I’m sorry. I’m not accepting guest blogs at this time. I’d love to but frankly, I think your Awesome Blog Post would do very well at your own Awesome Blog Space. That said, if I ever open up a slot for guest posts, I will announce it here at the blog. I shall be traveling a great deal come fall, and may have some space. I can’t pay, but will give free books. Don’t pitch me a post, though — look for announcements on the blog.

Will You Write A Guest Blog For Me?

It’s unlikely! I do write guest blogs sometime for:

a) People I know and like!

b) People who are awesome and I respect and admire!

c) Big-ass blogs with big-ass traffic, because I am a big-ass word-whore!

d) Blogs that pay money! (Which is to say, a real rara avis.)

Can I Be A Subject Of A Terribleminds Interview?

Maybe! You can apply at terribleminds at gmail dot com.

I interview storytellers and writers of any stripe.

I am again prejudiced against indie writers. Not universally, of course, so you’re free to try. But I get indie writers hitting me up 2:1 and much of the time I’m not precisely impressed.

I am looking for people with interesting stories interested in then talking about stories. Just having a book out is not really a guaranteed “great interview.” What’s your hook? Pitch me on the interview.

A warning: I am seriously, seriously back-logged with interview requests. Interviews and responses are at present slow to come as the queue is quite, erm, treacly right now.

Can I Interview You For My Own Personal Online Space?

Lucky you! I love to talk about myself and my upcoming books!

Hit me at terribleminds at gmail dot com.

I Want To Send You Something Via Snail Mail!

Is it ticking? Twitching? Leaking? Vibrating? Screaming profanities at me from within its cardboard prison? Is it a Dybbuk Box? Is it Gweneth Paltrow’s head? IS IT ALL THE EVIL IN THE WORLD?

You can hit me up at terribleminds at gmail, and I will maybe give you an address. Maybe.

Where Is My Comment?

You left a comment at terribleminds, and it ain’t here?

A few things may have happened.

First, it’s awaiting moderation. I’ll get to it sometime, er, today.

Second, it’s clogged in the spam chute. It happens. I’ll hopefully find it, if not, use the contact form to alert me that you think you ended up somewhere in the pipes like a wad of oily hair.

Third, I deleted it. Rare, but does happen. Maybe I didn’t like your comment. Or I thought you were a jerk, troll or spammer. (This is not a cheerocracy, I’m afraid. Your right to free speech doesn’t apply at my blog.)

Can We Work Together?

Do I know you? Then maybe!

Are you a stranger? Then probably not!

Can I Repurpose Your Blog Post?

You may not. I mean, okay, technically you can — nobody is stopping you. I’m not going to call John Q. Internet Law, Jr. on you. But I’d really appreciate it if you didn’t nab my content and make it your own. You can, however, excerpt the blog and link back to the original. I’d appreciate the traffic driven here not, y’know, elsewhere. You nabbing my blog content is not a favor for me.

I have on occasion made exceptions for this for people I know or for awesome blogs with big signal boosts (Ted Hope has reblogged a few of my posts, as has the SFWA). But those are edge cases.

Are You The Wendigo, The Ancient Beast Of Native American Lore?

I am. But only when I’ve had a lot to drink.

So, the new year looms and I start to slowly, groggily come out of my holiday coma (just before I tackle New Year’s Eve and guzzle liquor with friends) to start prepping the terribleminds Kickstarter for the New Year. The Kickstarter, as noted, will in part go toward making this site financially viable, but it will also have a concrete goal of updating this site somewhat (a terribleminds 2.0, if you will).

What I’m asking is, what do you want to see here in the new year?

Both in terms of content and in terms of changes to the actual site itself.

I do plan on putting up an e-store with merch. Though I’d love to know what kind of merch you’d be interested in seeing? Any suggestions would be appreciated and high-fived and sloppily-tongue-kissed.

But really, I’m talking about anything: what would make your terribleminds reading experience a better one? Give a shout. I’ll see if it goes on the list.

Okay, kids.

Come January, I’m going to do a terribleminds Kickstarter.

Here’s the logic: I’m a busy dude. I can never say the blog here is a burden because, truth be told, I love doing it — but I went ahead and calculated the loose word count I offer to this site annually and it’s…

Well, around 312,000 words a year.

That’s a lot of words. That’s four or five novels, easy.

This was less of a concern before the Tiny Wendig arrived, as B-Dub is a demanding dictator who forces his parental puppets to dance and dance and dance some more. All for His Tiny Lordship’s Pleasure.

Which means it’s time to look at this blog and see where it fits in my overall penmonkey ecosystem.

So, a Kickstarter. To fund the site by, well, funding my time. At least to some degree.

Which means it’s time to ask:

What are your “best practices” when it comes to Kickstarter? What do you like to see? What don’t you like? If you’ve backed a project or, even better, had a project on Kickstarter (or any crowd-funded site), I’d love to hear from you. Care to share what you’ve learned?

Hot dang.

CONFESSIONS OF A FREELANCE PENMONKEY has sold almost 900 copies since it dropped, and since starting the Penmonkey Incitement Program we’re actually up to 509 sold.

Which means it’s time to give away:

a) Another postcard

b) Another t-shirt

c) Holy shit, a Kindle.

I will be giving away a Kindle Touch ($99), to be specific.

Here’s how this works.

I draw randomly from the list of names of those who have procured COAFPM — the trick is, if I don’t know that you purchased it, then I don’t know to pick your name. I’m not psychic.

If you bought it via PDF: I have your information already, no need for you to worry or do anything.

If you bought it via Amazon or B&N, I do not possess this information automatically. Which means you need to send me proof-of-purchase to terribleminds [at] gmail [dot] com. (Many have already sent in your names, and those that have do not need to re-send that information.)

I will pick the names tomorrow (Friday) at noon (EST).

Which means you have until then to still procure COAFPM and get me the information if you want to be in on the Kindle draw. At present your chances are pretty good: 1/250 or so.

And I will also be picking for the postcard and t-shirt.

Note that both t-shirt and Kindle are U.S. residents only. Sorry. Only way I can send to international residents is if they’re willing to pay the overseas shipping. (Which is fine, but let me know that.)

Come back here to this post — this is where I’ll be making the pick.

To procure the book ($4.99):

Kindle (US), Kindle (UK), Nook, or PDF.

Thanks!

EDIT:

TAMELA RITTER wins herself a Kindle Touch!

CHRISTIAN TOMSEY wins a Penmonkey t-shirt!

And sending out two postcards, too (since we just crossed over the 550 mark) —

Samuraigerbil and joe-in-ey!

Congrats!

And don’t forget — another 450 sales and we give away another Kindle.