(early warning: contains a great deal of caps lock)

The goal of promoting your work is to entice people to be interested in that work.

It is a soft hand in a silk glove.

Possibly stroking my neck or, if I’m really into it, working mah nips.

Your promotional efforts are not a fist punching me in my junk drawer.

Example:

I am not really a huge Star Trek fan, but fuck, I’m interested in seeing the newest one because despite the 87 different teasers, trailers, commercials, teasers-for-teasers, teasers-for-trailers, trailers for featurettes about the making of the teaser trailers, it looks pretty cool.

Except, there’s this half-ass transmedia campaign called ARE YOU THE 1701 or something which is about, I dunno, blah blah blah the Enterprise and something-something Instagram and — you know, whatever. Every once in a while I am compelled by a truly inventive trans- or social-media campaign, but this one, ehh. Yawn. Snore. Poop noise.

NOT THAT IT FUCKING MATTERS because while I’ve never signed up for this campaign nor have I ever intimated my interest online anywhere at any point I continue to be assailed by marketing emails from this campaign. Which, you know, in the grand scheme of First World Problems is not a particularly big one, true. And here you’re saying, “Well, just unsubscribe, you lazy douche-sicle,” and I’m like, I’M TRYING TO DO THAT BUT IT WON’T LET ME. I give it all the email addresses I currently possess — including the one it sends its emails to — and it’s like, “Nope, we don’t have that shit on record, sorry, please enjoy more of our Star Trek spam HAR HAR HAR.” Then it belches in Klingon and shoots a phaser up my pee-hole.

It makes me mad enough I want to hate-avoid the film. Which isn’t fair to the filmmakers or the movie or the movie theater people or anybody except whatever insane promotional programmer ensured that I’m getting email from Paramount about crap that I didn’t ask for —

AND CANNOT ESCAPE.

Here’s the lesson: marketing and promotion should never be a kick to the face. It should never be unearned or unasked for. It should not be unavoidable.

This goes to any website that has anything that auto-plays ever. Sound. Music. Movie. Animation. If I’m sitting here at the ass-crack of dawn, sipping coffee, and I go to your website and get a blaring loud commercial for fucking Floor Wax and it wakes my toddler up I will find your house and shit on your pets.

This goes to all you authors out there who randomly DM people on Twitter: HEY PERSON I DON’T KNOW I GOT THIS BOOK MOVIE COMIC GAME KICKSTARTER BLOG POST THAT I THINK YOU MIGHT LIKE FOR NO REASON BECAUSE I DON’T KNOW YOU LET ME UNCEREMONIOUSLY HAMMER YOU ABOUT THE HEAD AND NECK WITH IT.

This goes to all your authors who spam me with: “Hey I think you might like my blog post on writer’s block / self-publishing / bacon enemas / donkey shows / blargleflargle [insert link I’m never going to click here].” At first I’m like, “Oh, are they actually talking to me,” but then I see they’ve sent the same goddamn message to 150 other people oh, and they follow like, 35,000 people and yet I’m not one of them.

Pay attention:

Unwanted and invasive advertisement doesn’t work. We skip past commercials. We close any window that pops up that tries to elbow its message into our brains. Marketing and promotion needs to seduce us, and it does not seduce us with a hand grenade to the face.

MY RANT IS NOW OVER YOU MAY RETURN TO YOUR HOMES.

P.S. JUST TO REITERATE WE REALLY DON’T NEED 184 DIFFERENT TRAILERS FOR YOUR BIG SUMMER MOVIES I’M LOOKING AT YOU IRON MAN 3

1. Pantser Versus Plotter: The Cage Match

The story goes that most writers are either pantsers (which regrettably has nothing to do with writing sans pants) or plotters (which has nothing to do with plotting the fictional in-narrative demises of those who have offended you). We either jump into the story by the so-called seat of our pants, or we rigorously plot and scheme every detail of the story before we ever pen the first sentence. It’s a bit of a false dichotomy, as many writers fall somewhere in the middle. Even a “pantser” can make use of an outline without still feeling pantsless and fancy-free.

2. No One Outline Style Exists

Remember that classic outline you did in junior high? Roman numerals? Lowercase alphabet? Lists of raw, unrefined tedium? Scrap that shit, robot. Nobody’s telling you to do that outline—unless that outline is what you do. For every writer, an outline style exists. It’s up to you to find which method suits you. (And if you’re looking for options, you can find a host of them right here in 25 Ways To Plot, Plan And Prep Your Story.)

3. Preparation H

Writing a novel, a script, a comic series, a TV show, a video game, a magnum transmedia pornographic opus told over Instagram — well, it’s all rather difficult. Writing a story can feel like a box of overturned ferrets running this way and that, and there you are, trying to wrangle them up while also simultaneously juggling bitey piranha. It’s easy to find the writing of a story quite simply overwhelming. An outline is meant to help you prepare against that inevitability by having the story broken out into its constituent pieces before you begin. It’s no different than, before cooking, laying out all your tools and ingredients (called the mise en place, or simply, “the meez”). Think of an outline as your “meez.”

4. The Confidence Game

Sometimes what kills us is a lack of confidence in our storytelling. We get hip-deep and everything seems to unravel like a ruptured testicle (yes, testicles really do unravel, you’re totally welcome). You suddenly feel like you don’t know where this is going. Plot doesn’t make sense. Characters are running around like sticky-fingered toddlers. The whole narrative is like a 10-car-pileup on the highway. Your story hasn’t proven itself, but an outline serves as the proving grounds. You take the story and break it apart before you even begin — so, by the time you do put the first sentence down, you have confidence in the tale you’re about to tell. Confidence is the writer’s keystone; an outline can lend you that confidence.

5. Stop Building The Parachute On The Way Down

A lack of an outline means you’re burdening yourself with more work than is perhaps necessary. You’re jumping out of the plane and trying to stitch the parachute in mid-air, working furiously so you don’t explode like a blood sausage when you smack into the hard and unforgiving earth. Further, what happens is, you finish the first draft (tens of thousands of words) and what you suddenly find is that this is basically one big outline anyway, because you’re going to have to edit and rewrite the damn thing. An outline tends to save you from the head-exploding bowel-evacuating frustration of having to do that because you’ve already gone through the effort to arrange the story. A little work up front may save you a metric fuckity-ton later on.

6. The Tired (But True!) Map Metaphor

Let’s say you’re taking a trip. You’re driving cross-country to a specific location—a relative’s house, a famous restaurant, Big Dan Don’s Baboon Bondage Barn, whatever. You don’t just wake up, jump in the car, and go. You pack your bags. You get your shit together: food, first-aid, road flares, baboon mask. Then you plan the trip. You get a map. Or you plug the address into the GPS. Finally, you take the trip. Writing a story is like taking a trip. Why not prepare for it?

7. Sometimes, Your GPS Will Steer You Into A Bridge Abutment

Okay, to be fair, sometimes a GPS will have you turn sharply left and crash into an orphanage. The lesson here is that your GPS is not sacred. And neither, as it turns out, is your outline.

8. The Outline Can Be A Pair Of Handcuffs

So, you’re taking this trip. You’re driving across the country. You know you’re supposed to stay on the highway, but holy fuck, the highway is boring. Endless macadam. Hypnotizing guardrails. Blah. Bleagh. Snooze. So, you see an exit ahead for a back road that takes you to Brother Esau’s Amish Muskrat Circus. Ah, but that’s not on your map. Do you drive on past? Stick to the plan? No! You stop! Because Motherfucking Muskrat Circus! Your outline is the same way. No plan survives contact with the enemy, and while you’re writing you’re going to see new things and have new ideas and make crazy connections that are simply not in the outline. Make them. Take the exit! Try new things! Don’t let the outline be a pair of shackles. Unless you’re into that. You’re the one going to the Bondage Barn, not me. Nice baboon mask, by the way.

9. A Good Outline Demands Flexibility

It’s okay to leave room in your outline for things to change. It’s even okay to leave sections of your outline with big blinky question marks and hastily scrawled notes like NO I DON’T KNOW WHAT HAPPENS HERE BUT IT INVOLVES VAMPIRE SEX AND KARATE. An outline must bend with the winds of change, but it must not break.

10. Awooga Awooga Alert Alert

Plot is a twisty motherfucker. It loops around on itself and before you know it, the thing’s crass contortions have left you with plot holes so big you could lose a horse in one. An outline is an excellent tool for hunting down those pesky voids and vacancies early so you can cinch the plot tighter in order for those holes to close up — or, at least, can remain hidden from view. An outline fixes your plot problems before you have 80,000 words of them staring you down.

11. An Architect Should Know How To Swing A Fucking Hammer

Having some understanding of how a story fits together can be helpful when outlining your story. It’s not critical, but grokking the way a story rises and falls and reaches its apex can give you beats and goals to aim toward when outlining. Might I recommend “25 Things You Should Know About Story Structure?” No? TOO BAD DOING IT ANYWAY HA HA HA JERKWEED.

12. Macro To Micro

You can go as big and broad or as tiny and micromanagey as you want when it comes to outlining. Some folks outline just the tentpoles of their fiction—“These five things need to happen for the story to make sense” Others detail every beat of the story—“And then Martha makes a broccoli frittata, summoning the Doom Angels.” Do as you and the story demands.

13. Consider At Least Marking The Major Acts

In film, a story is said to have three acts (though some folks wisely break that second act up into two “sub-acts” bisected by the midpoint of the tale). Generally, most stories conform in some fashion to the three-act-structure, even if only in the loosest way — as such, it’s worth looking at the major acts of your story and giving them each a paragraph just so you have some sense where the larger narrative is going. You’d be amazed at what clarity you bring to a story when you write it out in three paragraphs (Beginning, Middle, and End).

14. Outline As You Go

Not comfortable with doing one big hunka-hunka-burning-outline right at the outset? Ta-da, outline as you go. Boom! Solved it. YOU OWE ME MONEY NOW. Ahem. What I’m trying to say is, every week, outline for the week ahead but no further. This keeps you flexible and still makes it feel that you’ve still got some mystery and majesty ahead of you around the corner of every cliff’s edge. Hell, you could even outline only the next day — stop writing today, outline tomorrow’s writing before you begin. Just to get a base.

15. Sometimes You’re An Outliner And You Don’t Know It

I tried writing one novel, Blackbirds, over the course of several years. And the story just kept wandering around like an old person lost at K-Mart. It felt aimless, formless, like I couldn’t quite get it to make sense, couldn’t get the damn thing to add up and become a proper story. Eventually, while in a mentorship with a screenwriter, he told me to outline it. I said, “HA HA SILLY MAN I AM A NOVELIST WE DO NOT OUTLINE FOR IT WILL THIEVE THE BREATH FROM GOD AND OTHER SUCH POMPOSITIES.” And he said, “No, really, outline.” And I groused and grumbled and kicked the can and punched my locker and finally I sat down and took my medicine. I finished the novel a few short months later and that novel later became my first original novel debut. I am a pantser by heart, but a plotter by necessity.

16. The Power Of The Re-Outline (And The Re-Re-Outline)

I outline before I write. Then, when it comes time to edit, I re-outline before committing any major rewrites. I do this because things have changed — both in terms of what I wrote and what I’m going to write. I outline the novel I just wrote (the re-outline), then I outline the planned changes (the re-re-outline). It sounds like a lot of work. It takes me less than a day to do it. And it feels like hell to do, but I’m always happy for having done it.

17. See Also: The Retroactive Outline

Some folks never do an outline up front — they let their first draft (or the “zero draft,” as it is sometimes known) be the pukey, sloppy technicolor supergeyser of nonsense and then they take that giant pile of quantum hullaballoo and from it pull a proper outline before attempting to rewrite. This may take you a bit longer but if the result is a story you’re happy with, then holy shit, go forth and do it. Every process you choose should be in service to getting the best story in the way that feels most… well, I was going to say comfortable, but really, comfort is fucking forgettable in the face of great fiction, so let’s go with effective, instead.

18. Most Programs Have Some Kind Of Outline Function

Most writing programs come built with some manner of outlining function — Word’s is pretty barebones but a program like Scrivener has a very robust outline engine built into it, allowing the outline to eventually become the table of contents. You can also look for programs (OmniOutliner, for instance) that handle outlining as its sole (often robust) function. Consider me a big fan of outlining on my iPad with the Index Card app — an app that also syncs up nicely with Scrivener, if that interests you.

19. Some Outlines Are More Expressly Visual

Hey, nobody said an outline had to be all text-on-screen. Maybe you draw mind-maps on a whiteboard. Maybe you string together photos you found on Flickr. Maybe you mark your up-beats and down-beats in the narrative with little smiley faces or frowny faces, respectively. Get crazy. Break out the fingerpaints. The sidewalk chalk. OUTLINE YOUR NOVEL IN THE SCAREDY URINE OF YOUR FOES. Whoa. I mean. What? I didn’t say anything.

20. Help You Unstick A Stuck Story

You’re toodling along on your pantsed story, and everything going fine until one day it isn’t. You’re stuck. Boots in the narrative pigshit. You have some choices. One choice is to sit there in the poopy mire, crying into the fetid muck. The other choice is to backtrack and outline the story you’ve written so far and the story ahead. The value of this approach is that you don’t need to outline at the fore of the draft and maybe you never need to outline — ah, but if you get stuck, the outline makes a mighty tidy lever to get you free.

21. No, Outlining Does Not Steal Your Magic

Writers are beholden to many fancy myths. “The Muse! My characters talk to me! I’d just die if I couldn’t write!” The myth of how an outline robs you of your creative juju is one of them. I don’t want to defeat your magic. I don’t want to suggest that writing and storytelling isn’t magic — because hot damn, it really is, sometimes. The myth isn’t about the magic; the myth is that the magic is so fickle that something so instrumental as an outline will somehow diminish it. If after outlining a story you think the thunder has been stolen and you don’t want to write it anymore, that’s a problem with you or your story, not with the loss of its presumed magic. An outline can never detail everything. It’ll never excise the magic of all the things that go into the actual day-to-day writing. If that magic is gone, either your story didn’t have it in the first place, or you’re looking for excuses not to write the fucking thing.

22. Calm Down, Nobody’s Got A Gun To Your Head

Nobody’s making you outline. Relax.

23. Oops, Except Maybe This Gun Right Here, Click, Boom

Okay, somebody might actually make you outline. I had one publisher who demanded a chapter-by-chapter outline before committing to the project. I’ve also had to hand in outlines for various film or transmedia projects. Someone might actually ask you to outline at some point, and when they do, you probably shouldn’t freak out as if someone just set your cat on fire.

24. It’s One More Tool For The Toolbox

Look at it this way: even if you don’t like outlining and don’t really plan on using it, it’s a skill that’s useful to learn just the same. Not every tool in the toolbox will see constant or even regular use, but it’s still nice to have in store for when the shit hits the fan and you need to ratchetblast the rimjob or maladjust the whangdoodle.

25. Everybody Has A Process, So Find Yours

No one process for planning your story is going to work. What works for me won’t work for you. Hell, what works for one of your stories may not even work for the next. Try things. Explore. Experiment. This isn’t math. It isn’t beholden to an easy equation with a guaranteed output. Find the outline style that suits you. Look at it this way: it’s like eating your vegetables. You might try kale and think it tastes like ursine toilet paper. Or you might try it and think it’s the best thing since bacon underwear. Try the outline. Maybe it helps, maybe it doesn’t.

It only works if you try.

Want another hot tasty dose of dubious writing advice?

500 WAYS TO TELL A BETTER STORY:

$2.99 at Amazon (US), Amazon (UK), B&N, PDF

500 WAYS TO BE A BETTER WRITER:

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500 MORE WAYS TO BE A BETTER WRITER:

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250 THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT WRITING:

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CONFESSIONS OF A FREELANCE PENMONKEY:

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REVENGE OF THE PENMONKEY:

$2.99 at Amazon (US), Amazon (UK), B&N, PDF

I’m muddling my way through a post on the power of word-of-mouth and as a writer of the hybrid variety (I get great gas mileage), I wonder:

What gets you to read a book?

We worry so much about marketing and promotion, about guest blog posts and book trailers and interviews and signings and readings and Q&As and panel talks and nude fireman calendars and beard-wrestling competitions and cupcake bake-offs — further, so much it is is expected, it is assumed that these things are What We Do and it’s maybe not often enough that people ask If They Work.

They may! They may, indeed.

But I want to know.

And while I don’t mind hearing from the writers on this as to what works for you I am more inclined to hear from the readers on what exactly gets you to pick up a book. An advertisement? A reading? A funny tweet? Free swag? A recommendation from a friend? A NUDE FIREMAN CALENDAR WITH ME, A BIG HOSE, AND A SLUMBERING DALMATION? (I hope the answer to that is “yes” because I just ordered like, 10,000 of these things.)

What works for you?

What gets you first to try a book?

Then to buy that book?

Last week’s challenge: “Five Random Sentences“

Below is a list of 20 subgenres.

I want you to roll a d20 twice — or click a random number generator twice between 1 and 20 — and that will give you two subgenres. (Sure, you can choose them instead, but that means YOU HATE FUN.)

Smash those two subgenres into one story.

Write that story. Around 1000 words. Post at your online space. Link back here through the comments. Due by next Friday, May 17th, at noon EST.

Here’s the list of subgenres.

1. Men’s Adventure
2. Splatterpunk
3. Fairy Tale
4. New Weird
5. Space Opera
6. Southern Gothic
7. BDSM Erotica
8. Superhero
9. Sword & Sorcery
10. Noir
11. Dystopia
12. Sci-Fi Humor or Satire
13. Lovecraftian
14. Haunted House
15. Cyberpunk
16. Steampunk
17. Detective
18. Post-Apocalyptic
19. Weird West
20. Technothriller

I believe the book is called (translated): THRUSHES: THE GIFT

And if you want to see the Polish cover for MOCKINGBIRD:

Or should I say, THRUSHES, BOOK #2: DEATH MESSENGER?

Here are photos from the book launch — I don’t know exactly what’s happening in these photos. But people are dressed up in Reaper cloaks. And some dude is falling over into a stack of books (is he faking death?). But it’s awesome. Now I aspire to have a book launch like this here!

Anyway! Kinda cool. Thought I’d share.

Off to write more in The Cormorant!

J.D. Rhoades is no stranger to terribleminds, so I hope you’ll welcome him back so he can talk about his new book, Broken Shield. Ten questions, ten answers:

TELL US ABOUT YOURSELF: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?

Damned if I know, man. Some days I have trouble even remembering which name to use. I write thrillers as J.D. Rhoades and science fiction and fantasy under the name of J.D. Nixx. I practice law in a small town in North Carolina as Jerry Rhoades. Under the name of Dusty Rhoades,  I write a column for my local newspaper that’s won two North Carolina Press Association awards. Most of my friends know me as Dusty, though, since that’s the name I grew up with.

I’m a reader, a writer, a husband, a dad, a lover of classic American cinema and cheesy Hong Kong action films, a music fan whose iPod features tunes ranging from Mozart to Motorhead, Albert King to Antonio Vivaldi. I have an ego big enough to have its own zip code, and enough personal demons to staff a new level of the Inferno.

As for the “who I am” that brings me here, I’m the author of the Kindle Book Broken Shield, which is the secret to my bestseller Breaking Cover. I’ve also written several other tree-books and e-books, like the Jack Keller series (The Devil’s Right Hand, Good Day In Hell, and Safe And Sound); my first e-only thriller Storm Surge; the legal thriller Lawyers, Guns And Money; and my military thriller Gallows Pole.  As J.D. Nixx, I wrote the vampire space-opera revenge tale Monster and the Taras Flinn medieval fantasy/mystery short stories found in the collection The King’s Justice.

As you can tell, I have a little trouble sticking with one genre.

GIVE US THE 140-CHARACTER STORY PITCH.

FBI Agent Tony Wolf returns to the NC town of Pine Lake & teams up with his former nemesis, Lt Tim Buckthorn, to help find a kidnapped girl.

140 exactly. Boo-ya.

WHERE DOES THIS STORY COME FROM?

Shortly after Breaking Cover came out, my friend David Terrenoire observed that it was as much Tim Buckthorn’s story as Tony Wolf’s. And he was right. Buckthorn started as a bit player,  but he quickly grew to fill a much larger role, first as Wolf’s nemesis, then as his reluctant ally. I always love it when a character who was originally just a walk-on takes on a life of his or her own.

HOW IS THIS STORY ONLY YOU COULD’VE WRITTEN?

I practice law in a small town in North Carolina. Nice place. Pretty. Has a lot of really fine, decent, friendly people in it, the kind of people you think of when you think of small-town America.

But my work also brings me into contact with the mean, the greedy, the venal, the mind-numbingly stupid, the drug-addled, the bat-shit insane, and the just plain fucked-up, from all walks of life and all social strata. A lot of them aren’t particularly evil, they’re just kind of hapless. Nothing they plan seems to go the way it’s supposed to, even their crimes.

The job also brings me into contact with their victims, especially children, since a big part of my job for the last 13 years has been representing the interests of children in abuse and neglect cases.

So a lot of my work, including Broken Shield , is about people trying to protect good people from the bad people they may not even suspect are right outside their door. There’s also a common thread of criminals whose plans go awry and spin wildly out of control, with disastrous results for everyone.

WHAT WAS THE HARDEST THING ABOUT WRITING BROKEN SHIELD ?

As always, the hardest thing is just sitting down and doing it. Facing the blank page, even if there are a couple hundred pages behind it. Dragging myself back to the computer or notebook after a long grueling day in court or in the office can be sheer torture. There were times I found myself thinking, “you know, I remember this as being a lot more fun.” Thankfully, the fun did arrive, but it took a while.

 WHAT DID YOU LEARN WRITING BROKEN SHIELD ?

I mentioned writing in a notebook in my last answer because there were so many times I just couldn’t face the screen again, so I wrote long stretches  f the book in longhand, just for a change of pace. I think that worked really well. It jolted me out of my rut. Plus, when I went back to transcribe it, I was already doing a second draft. So one lesson is, if you’re stuck, change your medium for a while. Write in purple crayon on the walls if that’s what it takes to get your mind where it needs to be to create. Just don’t tell your spouse, significant other, landlord, roommates, or parents I said that.

Also, I’ve never been much of an outliner. The most I’ve usually done before is sketching out a few chapters ahead of where I was. In fact, the first time I did a detailed outline for my editor, I discovered that I’d completely lost interest in writing the book, because I knew how it ended. I eventually did finish that one, but I’ve avoided outlining ever since. But about halfway through Broken Shield , I picked up a copy of Scrivener for Windows, which has really changed the way I work. Scrivener allows you to write chunk by chunk, scene by scene, then visually see where everything is, either in outline form or on a virtual “corkboard.” You can run on ahead and write the scene that comes to you in the middle of the night, then move it and the other stuff around to where they need to be. So I’ve started plotting out a couple of potential projects using Scrivener, saying “okay, this goes here, this needs to come before that. No, after…but not before this…” So when I sit down to write it, I’ll won’t have to decide every day which way the story’s supposed to go. We’ll see if it works.

WHAT DO YOU LOVE ABOUT BROKEN SHIELD ?

I love the character of Leila Dushane, Wolf’s new partner. She’s brilliant, outspoken, and perfectly capable of kicking a bad guy’s ass without help from anyone. She idolizes Wolf, but she’s willing to call bullshit when she thinks he’s wrong. She also has anger issues, which I can relate to.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO DIFFERENTLY NEXT TIME?

Like I said earlier, I’m moving towards a more deliberate, planned outline rather than the seat of the pants composition I’m used to. Not that there’s anything wrong with the other way. I’ve done some good work that way.  I just think there’ll be less tearing out of hair if I have some idea what I’m doing each day before I sit down to write. I’m getting to an age where every hair is precious.

GIVE US YOUR FAVORITE PARAGRAPH FROM THE STORY:

This is a scene where Wolf, Dushane, and Buckthorn have been following up on a lead in the investigation of a kidnapping that Buckthorn has found evidence of, but which for some reason has never been reported. They go to a nice suburban home and find to their surprise that the lady of the house is being held prisoner by a couple of sleazy looking biker types. This is the aftermath of the confrontation:

She looked down at the bald man, who was looking up at her, fear in his eyes, like a rabbit hypnotized by a snake. He turned to Wolf. “Keep that bitch away from me,” he said in a high, pleading voice. “She’s fucking crazy.”

“Believe it, motherfucker,” she snarled. She stomped past Wolf into the house.

“She kicked me in my fucking knee,” the man whimpered. “I think she broke it.”

“You want to know why she did that?” Wolf said.

The man looked baffled.

“Because fuck off, that’s why.”

WHAT’S NEXT FOR YOU AS A STORYTELLER?

I’m not sure, really. I have a number of projects that I’ve been thinking about. The one I’m leaning towards now is, once again, something completely different: a comic heist novel in the vein of Donald E. Westlake. It’ll be the first time I’ve tried humor in a longer form. I try to bring humor and satire to the newspaper column, but for some reason, all the awards seem to be for serious writing. On the other hand, I’ve never written humorous mysteries, but I always seem to end up on humor panels at conventions. So, I’m going to play with the mix yet again. Maybe I’ll get another pen name.

Thanks for this opportunity, Chuck!

J.D. Rhoades (at least that’s what I’m calling myself for now): Blog/Twitter/Facebook

J.D. Nixx: Tumblr

Broken Shield: Amazon (US); Amazon (UK)

Breaking Cover: Amazon (US); Amazon (UK)