Obligatory THE LIFE OF THE WENDIGO post incoming.
Alert your state government. Hide your sisters.
The Penmonkey’s Revenge
You may have noticed that —
Drum roll please.
REVENGE OF THE PENMONKEY is now on sale. For $2.99, you get a boatload of writing advice and penmonkey satire. In addition, you get a 10k “memoir” by yours truly about the life of a writer and the lessons learned, and you also get a brand spanking new Writer’s Prayer (“Time to load the guns, brew the ink, and go to work. Because I am a writer, and I am done fucking around.”) Further, if you procure this week, I’ll toss you a free copy of 250 THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT WRITING. These e-books are how I finance the existence of terribleminds, so in advance I thank you for procuring a copy and spreading the word. Your procurement options are as follows:
Kindle (US): Buy Here
Kindle (UK): Buy Here
Nook: Buy Here
Or, buy the PDF ($2.99) by clicking the BUY NOW button:
Speaking Of Penmonkeys
Jay-zeus, that was fast.
COAFPM is now up to 307 sales sold since I started the Incitement Program.
That means it’s time to give away another t-shirt and postcard.
I will pick both tomorrow morning in the comment section of this post.
Look for it!
Holy Shit, New Double Dead Cover
You click that cover, you’ll be taken to the artist’s site — the cover is by the inimitable PYE PARR. From there you can make with the clicky-clicky to see a larger version and a version without the text.
In other words: fucking awesome.
That cover makes me want to jump out of my chair and run around town draining ladies left and right with my pointy teeth. All I have to say is, this November, Coburn is coming.
Pre-order, if you’re so inclined.
The Little Human Now Laughs
On Sunday night, my three-month-old son laughed for the first time.
I mean, he’s laughed before, but it’s kind of been this gasping squeak. But last night was a bonafide giggle, all because his mother was bouncing him around on her knee. HOLY SHIT did he love it. I’ve got video of it I’ll have to cut up and post at some point — he was in some state of unbridled baby bliss. And now I know the truth: his laughter is like heroin, and here we are, ever-chasing that high. Probably from today until we perish. We will always be chasing that dragon, and all the laughs hence will not be as delightful as that first, most primal, laugh. The cross that parents must bear is becoming all the clearer.
It was so adorable, though, my teeth rotted out of my head and my body stopped producing insulin.
Been a while since I did a proper food post, yeah? I’ll have to get back on that. Anybody got any recipes to share? I could use to play with new recipes, so whatever you’ve got, toss at me.
I’ll tell you one thing that gets me by some lunches:
Take one of those and it’s suddenly like you’re motherfucking Lunchtime Picasso. You can try anything in those things. I just grab all kinds of crap from my fridge and chuck it in there. Boom. Lunchalicious.
Here’s two things I’m fond of:
First, take an avocado. Slice it up. Layer a bit of cottage cheese over a flour tortilla. Lay the avocado on top. Salt the avocado. Spritz it with a quarter-lime. Dash of hot sauce. Grate cheese if you have any, and if you have turkey, you can laythat on there, too. Roll up. Shove into face until you are moaning in delight.
Second, chop up any fresh veggies you got laying around. My most recent concoction was summer squash, green beans, bell pepper, and onion. Saute in olive oil — get the onion and bell pepper soft, first. Then the rest of your veggies go into the ring. Salt, pepper, any herbs you have — I totally recommend fresh basil in there. Though, add the basil late, or it can lose some of its phatty garden-fresh flava. (Phresh? Phlava? I dunno. Shut up.) Then take that and shove it into a flour tortilla, and cram that into your food-hole. Bonus points: add in some Gochujang sauce in there.
Have you had this stuff? I am a Sriracha fan, but I think I like this more. Korean. Fermented soy. Has a stronger flavor beyond just heat — though it has that crucial zing, too. Great on, well, anything. Anything. A hot dog? A hamburger? A taco? A stir-fry? My creamy inner thighs? All of the above.
Anyway. There you go.
G+ continues to be a curious experiment. On the one hand, it’s fairly slow — a tepid flow of “social media updates.” Sometimes the feeds from my circles feels downright inert. Stagnant water sitting.
But I’m starting to see that as a feature, not a bug. Because when someone does drop something into the ecosystem, it generates a lot of activity and discussion. Like, in a forum, you wouldn’t want endless topics being added so fast you can’t keep up with them, right? You’d want a measured pace with lots of activity in the forums, not outside.
This is that, I think. And it continues to confirm for me just what Goo-Plus is good at:
Conversation and discussion.
It’s not all there, yet. This pie is only half-baked. Even still, you get the sense that the LORDS OF GOOGLE might have more in store. Only time will tell. What’s everybody else think?
The Sub-Genre Tango
Flash fiction! With a prize! Of an edit! Of up to 3000 words!
I’m ready to declare a winner: Josh Loomis. If only because of his use of the phrase “taco-hole.”
Josh, contact me. Getchoo set up with an edit from yours truly, sir.
I think you know about most of what I got cooking.
Did you hear that I’m writing a novel based on the SPIRIT OF THE CENTURY RPG under the vigilant gaze of Evil Hat’s Fred Hicks? It’s true! I’m very excited about this. Pulp-tastic heroic awesomeness.
Amy Houser is also working on a cover for my first Atlanta Burns novella, SHOTGUN GRAVY. Soon as she’s done with that the e-book will go live. I’ve got all four novellas outlined.
Got the first draft of my YA-ish corn-punk novel POPCORN back from the agent. Going through it now, picking nits, combing knots, hacking off limbs left and right. Fingers crossed.
I’ve got other irons in the fire, see if some of them won’t get hotty-burny-melty soon enough.
How about you people? Whatchoo got going on? How’s your writing going? Share and share alike.
22 responses to “Stuff And Things And Things And Stuff”
The writing is going slowly due to a seemingly constant case of writing performance anxiety. It seems that whipped cream flavored vodka helps. Still I have some projects that are fun. Working on a new species for the World of Darkness and a short story that needs polishing. Practicing and working towards that first sale.
A Spirit of the Century novel? I’m always in favor of pulp so this is good news to hear.
Love the novel cover, can’t wait for it’s release.
I will be picking up Penmonkey Revenge this Thursday.
May I just say how delighted I am that you’re writing a Spirit of the Century novel? I’ve recently gotten involved in a game of that, and it’s insanely fun. I think the high point thus far has been an aerial battle between an evil clown assassin and a valiant circus acrobat. The clown descended from above on shoes with giant springs in them to pound someone who was about to give the heroes information into the ground with a giant mallet, and the acrobat grabbed onto the clown’s feet as he was taking off again. So in mid-air, you had the clown attempting to whack the acrobat with the aforementioned giant mallet, while the acrobat attempted to defend himself with his throwing knives. Meanwhile, on the ground, the reformed supervillain/mad scientist was calculating their trajectory in hopes of zapping the clown with his Tesla Blaster without inadvertently frying his friend as well…
You just do not get scenes like that in most RPGs…
Just purchased Revenge Of The Penmonkey and I’m looking forward to reading it.
Just finished reading CoaFPM and Irregular Creatures on my brand-new Kindle this weekend! “This Guy” was my favorite story by far, really liked that one. Planning to grab RotPM this week.
Me, I’m gearing up for the next round of revisions on the novel. I think I’m going to take a stab at one more short story first, though, something a little longer than my usual. See if I can’t find a home for it in a magazine somewhere.
It’s true about tortillas. They are fridge velcro. Whatever you’ve got in the fridge, a tortilla will stick to it. And taste amazing.
This week: revising this word vomit of a query, prepping for the monster freelance job that will take over my life for the next six weeks, reading writing books like I’m on a three-night Waffle House meth bender.
The writing is kludgy. When my pacing flows, the violence gets passive.
I’m doing a lot of thinking and taking notes. I’m starting to realize that I’ve got lots of books in me, I just need to take the time to assemble them.
Go away, constant disruptions, shoo, shoo.
If you do not provide the context for the use of the word “taco-hole,” you are a mean, mean man.
Three words bitches, Sea Foam Frosting. This little old lady shared this recipe with me before she passed away. She was a pretty cool lady and her baking was amazing as Hipster Hitler. Anyways, the recipe can be found here: http://www.heritagerecipes.com/cake-recipes/sea-foam-frosting.htm
As far as my writing goes, it has been going hideously slowly. After college started I sort of petered out. I guess I had better get on my ass and write.
Congratulations on the new release, sir. I’m curious about buying it because of the memoir thingie at the end.
Fun with flour tortillas! Let’s see, I think my favorite summer wrap (shut up, summer’s almost over, I know that!) is fresh bell pepper, fresh onion (not as much as you’d put if cooking them, duh), chunks of tomato, and pepperjack cheese. I probably spread a bit of flavored cream cheese on the tortilla first, for the awesome factor. Not the dairy-kicks-my-ass factor. /cry.
With the g+ loveliness in mind… very few of my friends post on there with personal stuff… Mostly I see loads of links, and lots of comments. And if Wil Wheaton or Felicia Day say ANYTHING, there are about 1 million comments. (Who would have time to sit and read them all,anyway!?)
One thing I try and remember is it’s still in beta testing land. It’s NOT open to the public. My alter-ego gmail account is not allowed. More will come. The floodgates will open and this will turn into a big facebook. Without the games, praise Jeebus.
Anyhoo, I need the coffee, so that’s all I’ve got for now. 😉
Can you make that poster a shirt?? I would totes wear that when I’m writing.
Now I’m off to by Revenge of the Penmonkey!
Writing projects going well, thanks to some research time in Philly this weekend for Novel #1. Much to be said for staying with awesome friends who are also massively creative: spent about as much time writing as we did having good food, drink, and conversation.
Sorry I missed you this time. Third time’s a charm.
OK — I bought your PDF. So how do I get it? Haven’t done this before, but thought that you may not be language-appropriate to download onto my 5th grader’s Kindle. Or, if you are, I’m not willing to admit it quite yet (-;
Pick me for the prize since I really wanted to win the edit but didn’t, you taco-hole.
And food – this week’s gem has been curried venison and rice on spaghetti squash. Google a curried beef & rice version, substitue shredded venison, pile on the spices, and dump onto spaghetti squash.
Don’t try this at home–unless you’re drunk. (In other words, any time after 10am is fine):
Take all-beef hot dogs (cause I’m all about Kosher, yo) off the grill left over from the previous day’s BBQ (Bonus if they have barbeque sauce on them). Cut them up and heat them in the same pan that you scramble some eggs. Add cheese, get it melty. Put in a warm flour tortilla, add Frank’s Red Hot (yes, as a matter of fact, I do put that shit on everything.)
Share and Enjoy. Like a Boss.
Getting amped up to do the NaNoWriMo in November, thanks to a previous interview you did. I have the story picked out, and am currently outlining and naming characters, and getting ready to do chapter summaries so I know where to go.
I recipe I like is: put olive oil in pan. Cut up zucchini or cucumber into slices of size of your preference. Chop up some onion. Salt and pepper it (light on the salt, heavy on the pepper). Throw in as much oregano as you can stand. Sautee the whole thing, and then when the onion/zucchini bit is looking done, cut up tomato and add it in for the last minute or so. It makes a yummalicious side dish. Or a light vegan lunch, if you’re so inclined. Also, I make epic grilled cheese panini creations. Another random cooking trick is, if you want flavored rice — say, jasmine rice — buy instant rice and put in a bag of jasmine tea while it’s boiling.
ARGH. NOW I’M SO HUNGRY.
As for writing … I hit a dead spot, then scrapped the chapter I’d just written and re-wrote it from the perspective of another character. It was definitely the right thing to do, though chopping *that* big of a section made me wince. Maybe I’ll use some of it later. Reduce, reuse, recycle, you know. Since it’s epic fantasy, the word count is climbing high. I try to ignore that; otherwise, it’d make me crazy. That’s for the editing stage…
What?! Did you say you’re Google positive?!? I hear they have a new drug for that. 😉
You lsot me at Avacado. But the good news is I’m got the other good stuff before that. I’ll be downloading and pre-ordering later today (when I’m not on my work computer) 😉
Let me apologize for the horrendous spelling and sentence structure in the previous reply. Hit the submit button too fast. ;P
Last night I was trying to figure out how I should prepare the tilapia my wife took out of the freezer and she said to use Shake n Bake. I was skeptical, but didn’t have the energy to argue. She choose chicken Shake n Bake over pork. I thought it came out just as I would have expected, tasting like fish covered in Shake n Bake, but there was something about the taste that my wife couldn’t eat it. She said it tasted just like the smell of some guy’s ass that she had to wash during her clinicals. She threw it out and got wings from the store. No one else had that problem with it though.
COAFPM DRAWING RESULTS!
Sandy Leppin wins a t-shirt!
Tim Kelley wins a postcard!
Thanks, peeps. 🙂
Wow, gochujang? Glad you like it — it’s great. I thought not many non-koreans were into that. Being half-korean myself, I do like it too. A nice dish (and easy) is bibimbap: some white rice, gochujang, sesame oil, soy sauce, veggies, maybe an egg or two, all mixed up. Nice comfort food!
Just picked up 250 Things. It is my “daily affirmation” bible right now. Good stuff!
I’m a fan of tortilla concoctions too. I love adding Hummus to mine. Spinach and Hummus with loads of cukes with left over honey spiral sliced ham. The explosion in your mouth! Will have to try your suggestions, thanks.
My website went live! (http://www.eliomans.com/journal) All official and shit. I used to tweet to you a lot with a Japanese sounding handle but now I’m more…writerly.
I’ve been hella busy sending out queries left and right for my short fiction. Still writing my first table top book SEERE and I have no idea what I’m going to do with it. Finding the time between working two jobs to edit RAE FOR THE WORLD and rewriting agent queries.
Pretty much I have a lot of cooking plots and stories in the oven. Loads of fiction looking for homes.