Apple-Obsessed Author Fella

20 Questions Inside The Primate Confessional

So, as I announced yesterday: CONFESSIONS OF A FREELANCE PENMONKEY is coming soon to a Kindle, Nook, PC or hallucinogenic dreamworld near you.

Thing is, in the spirit of the “confessional” vibe, I figured it might be cool to have you crazy kids ask some questions, and then I’ll answer the questions inside the book. A lurid, disturbed glimpse into the caffeine-sodden, booze-pickled mind of a freelance writer.

An interview! Of sorts. But with shame, pantslessness, and great gobs of profanity.

This is where you’re like, “Chuck, that’s a stupid idea,” and then I’m like, “If you don’t play along, I’m going to shoot this adorable baby penguin with a Taser.” And you’re like, “Whoa, that’s not cool,” and I’m like, “WHATEVS.” Then I drop your casserole dish. And it shatters. And the penguin bleats.

Do penguins bleat? I don’t goddamn know. Shut up.

So, if you’re interested in playing along (and you’d have my appreciation should you choose to do so), drop into the comments section and pop a question you’d like me to answer in the book. Obviously, it’s a writing-themed book, so one assumes you’ll ask a questions that at least flirt with the subject of writing, freelancing, storytelling, but hey, if you want to ask something entirely different, I’m not going to stop you.

I’ll select 20 questions out of the bunch to use in the book. Er, that’s assuming you ask me 20 questions. If you don’t, I’ll just make up questions, I guess. As I weep into my cereal. “Question number…”


“Number Seven. Why Doesn’t Anybody Like Me?”

*blow nose, eat Honey Nut Cheerios*

Right. Anyway.

Who’s in?

Questions go below. And thanks again.