Chuck Wendig: Terribleminds

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Your Ideas Aren’t That Interesting

I know. I know. Already I feel you pulling away. I sense you tensing up, like a flicked sphincter. You’re mad. I can see you’re mad. I get it, you have ideas, and ideas are the backbone of fiction, and dangit, you tell yourself, my ideas are very interesting, that guy doesn’t know. Except, I do know. Your ideas aren’t that interesting.

And here’s the trick:

That’s a good thing.

I don’t intend for this to be a long post, but I see writers lamenting sometimes their lack of ideas, or their inability to fulfill the promise of a premise, or worst of all, I see them hoarding their ideas — as if they shouldn’t even write them into a story lest they screw it up, somehow. This is a piece of advice given to young writers sometimes, right? “Oh, don’t give away your best ideas on your early work.” Which is so fucking strange to me, it’s like, “Don’t start off on a strong foot, instead, snap your ankle and run on that, instead.”

Listen, in this house, we recognize that ideas are not gemstones.

They are costume jewelry. Trinkets, at best.

We do a lot of work as writers forcibly filling parts of our job with a kind of mythic importance, a bold magic that feels hard to deny — THE MUSE and MY IDEAS and THE PROSE said with a rolled ‘r’ — and mostly, that’s a huge disservice. It doesn’t seem like it is, it seems like we’re just trying to recognize the majesty of what we do, but in the day-to-day, that makes it very hard to just get stuff done. It’s so much harder when you imagine that you’re performing surgery on a snowflake than if you’re just digging a latrine, you know? And it’s not that I want to say that writing your book is just like digging out some kind of caveman toilet — it’s not. It’s more important than that. It’s more mysterious and more magical than that. But it’s important not to give it too much power, you feel me? If you are overwhelmed by that magic, that mystery…

….you’ll find yourself paralyzed by the haughty significance of it all.

Which can happen with how you regard your ideas, as well.

We like to believe that ideas are the most interesting thing about our work.

And, by proxy, that they are the most interesting thing about us, the author.

They ain’t.

The idea is valuable as a stepping stone. It’s useful as a springboard. Sometimes a really interesting idea is the first strong rung in the ladder, sure. But that is all that it is. It’s a hook. It’s a twist. It’s a notion. It is not the backbone of the work. It is not the blood and heart of the thing. It’s not what makes your story interesting. Sure, a good idea might nudge people to check out your story, if the idea is easily encapsulated in a sentence or two, but it’s not what keeps us there. What keeps us there are characters with problems, what keeps us there are not simply core hooks but things that go deeper than mere ideas: hopes, dreams, wishes, fears, arguments, and the unruly thoughts you wrestle with at 3AM. What keeps us there is an interesting journey, a compelling problem, a fascinating escalation of conflict and question, and pages that have more to say than the plot that falls upon them.

Story is so much more than an idea.

An idea is the door to the house, not the house. In some cases it’s not even the door, it’s the fucking doorknob. It might be pretty. It might not. But it’s just there to get you inside, okay?

Expect less from your ideas, and less from yourself when it comes to those ideas — and again we’re speaking about inciting ideas, core ideas, not larger and unrulier ideas like theme and argument. I hear writers lamenting that they don’t have any good ideas? Fuck that. Just think of a character. Think of a character that interests you. A character that has a problem you find compelling and, in some ways, upsetting. That’s a way to begin. If you’re afraid to “give away” your ideas into a story on the chance you don’t do it justice? Hell with that. The idea is there to do you justice, not the other way around. Lead the idea, don’t let it lead you.

All right, carry on.

*shoos you out of the house*

* * *

WANDERERS: A Novel, out July 2nd, 2019.

A decadent rock star. A deeply religious radio host. A disgraced scientist. And a teenage girl who may be the world’s last hope. An astonishing tapestry of humanity that Harlan Coben calls “a suspenseful, twisty, satisfying, surprising, thought-provoking epic.”

A sleepwalking phenomenon awakens terror and violence in America. The real danger may not be the epidemic, but the fear of it. With society collapsing—and an ultraviolent militia threatening to exterminate them—the fate of the sleepwalkers and the shepherds who guide them depends on unraveling the mystery behind the epidemic. The terrifying secret will either tear the nation apart—or bring the survivors together to remake a shattered world.

Preorder: Print | eBook

Monday Watches You From A Tree, Waiting

LOOK AT THE BIRD. It wishes you were a little mouse so it could gobble you right up. Lovingly, of course. It is, after all, the week of Valentine’s Day. (That’s a red-tailed hawk I caught hanging out in the trees above the shed; down the road I also found a black vulture just chilling in a tree, and that photo can be found at the bottom of this post.)

Anyway, some quicky news bits, let’s begin.

Where’s Wendig? Some updates to my schedule so far — I’ll be giving the keynote at DFWCon, as noted, and I’ll also be at BEA BookCon, and San Diego Comic-Con. I’ll likely add some events too between now and Wanderers release, as I’m hoping to get into some bookstores and visit readers. As to what bookstores, I do not yet know! KEEP YOUR GRAPES PEELED.

Kirk Us? But I Hardly Know Us. Looks like Vultures got a Kirkus review, the takeaway quote being: “Gruesome and bathed in ebony-black humor, this is a much-deserved conclusion for one of horror’s most imaginative heroines.” You can read the whole thing here, though, if you’d like. I do dig that they referred to it as a horror novel. I know “horror” isn’t as much a thing now, and some publishers still want to kinda flirt with it without marrying it, but really, the Miriam Black series has been horror (slash crime) since the very beginning. Sure, sure, “urban fantasy,” okay, yeah, “supernatural suspense,” but it’s horror-crime. Also, genres are just a thing people made up.

The Wendi-no-go. It has come to my attention that the sandwich formerly known as the Wendigo is… well, now formerly known as the Wendigo, because Wendigo, though being my last name with an ‘o’ at the end of it, is also a cryptid appropriated from indigenous (Algonquin, I believe) myth, and I would not want to be on the end of appropriating culture. So, the sandwich will now be heretofore known as THE CHNURK MANDOG. Update your records. (And here someone will probably chime in with how people are too sensitive and language changes and something something everyone else has already used Wendigo, so why can’t I? To which I respond, I’m a writer, language is important, and I should be aware of how I use — and misuse — its power. It’s not my job to tell a marginalized community not to be mad because I’m taking something from them — it’s literally the least I can do, given how much has already been taken from them. I have a wealth of privilege and opportunity at my beck and call, and if I can not stomp around with my big stompy boots on someone else’s stuff, then so say we all, huzzah, amen.) Apologies.

Hey, I’m trendy! Looks like Wanderers is demonstrating a cover trend at the moment. Ooh-la-la.

And now, a vulture. Enjoy.

Want To Win An Advance Copy of Wanderers?

Looks like Del Rey is giving away two copies of Wanderers to folks — one on Twitter, and one on Instagram. All you gotta do is head over to Del Rey’s respective social media accounts and follow the guidelines to reply and maybe, just maybe, win yourself an early copy. You can find the giveaway on Twitter here, and the giveaway on Instagram here. (And give the publisher a follow, too, if you’re so inclined.) Enter by 2/11/19, 9AM EST. It’s United States only, be advised, as they are a US-based publisher.

And you can also pre-order the book, too, in print, eBook, or audio.

Plus, this week the book managed to accrue another two wonderful blurbs from bad-ass authors I admire, Meg Gardiner and Paul Tremblay. A group which includes, but is not limited to, Harlan Coben, Peng Shepherd, James Rollins, John Scalzi, Charles Soule, Peter Clines, Delilah S. Dawson, Kat Howard, Fran Wilde, Christopher Golden, Erin Morgenstern, Richard Kadrey, Adam Christopher, Rin Chupeco.

Finally, we sold Chinese translation rights to the novel to Beijing White Horse Time, who also publishes the Miriam Black books in China (apparently they do well there?). And we have some film and TV interest, plus some other cool stuff in the works. Fingers crossed, and with luck, I’ll have some more announcements before July.

I am a very lucky Chucky. Thanks, all.

Wanderers comes out 7/2/19.

Less than five months to go, and then the journey begins.

On Day-Jobs And Starving Artists

There was a bit of a to-do yesterday on the ol’ Twitters about how artists and writers should follow their dreams with reckless abandon because life is short and you don’t have to play it safe so go quit your day job, so on and so forth. And I think there’s reason to see some value and truth there: life is short, and as the old saying goes, get busy living, or get busy dying. If you want to be an artist, or a writer, or a maker of any kind, the best time to begin that journey is *checks watch* now. Not tomorrow. And yesterday’s already gone. So: now.

Great.

Fine.

Coolcoolcool.

But also, you understand that you can be safe when you do that, right? Like, to learn how to skydive, you don’t need to actually construct a parachute on the way down. If you wanna learn to play the piano, you don’t quit your job and buy a baby grand and expect that you can tickle the ivories right into stardom on day fucking one, right? Like, there’s buildup. There’s an arc. A smart, savvy, and dare I say that boring-ass word again, safe rise to learning how to do the thing you wanna do before you expect for that thing to be able to support you. Actors wait tables. Artists sling coffee. Writers, we hide in the dark, hunting roaches for our vampire masters.

Translation: there’s no shame in a day job.

Let’s rewind a little bit.

I have wanted to be a writer for a very long time. I wrote a lot as a kid, and drew cartoons, and then decided in eighth grade that I wanted to be a proper-ass professional writer.

Went to college, did all that shit, graduated, and immediately started taking day jobs. I worked at the International Cash Register Dealer’s Association, I sold computers, I worked at various bookstores and coffeehouses (and sometimes I made coffee at bookstores, lookin’ at you, Borders), I was the IT manager for a fashion merchandising company, I did marketing for our library system.

Etcetera.

Now: I was young for a lot of this, BACK IN THE OLDEM TYMES, and arguably, that would’ve been the best time for me to throw all my fucks to the wind and quit some jobs and try to have a go at writing full-time. If ever there was a time to run screaming headlong into the slavering maw of my dreams, it would’ve been then. I had no dependents. I’m sure someone would consider not knowing how to pay my bills as “character-building.” I would have been forgiven of the impulse as youthful indiscretion. But here’s the one problem:

Being young means, well, being young.

I wasn’t ready to fulfill the writer dream because I just wasn’t that fucking good, yet. At the time I was writing novels, and they were stinky. Just stenchworthy bricks of bad prose. I had to write those books. I had to write bad books to learn how to write not bad ones and, I like to hope, eventually write good ones. (Or at least ones that were publishable.) So, had I quit to pursue my dream with reckless abandon, I would’ve faceplanted on the sidewalk, because I did not yet have the skills to pay the bills. And more to the point: I really did need to pay bills. I wasn’t living in a piano crate, I was living in an apartment. Which turns out, is not free. I didn’t have any couches to ride and I wasn’t living with my parents. And living in an apartment means I needed things like electricity which was required to make food and so forth. I’m sure there’s some fascinating romantic vision of myself where I was hunting squirrels in the forest and cooking them over open flame like a True Man and a Visionary Murder Artist, but I kinda liked having a bed and a microwave.

(Plus, at that point I couldn’t cook. My squirrel would’ve tasted like a burned wallet.)

Somewhere along the way I picked up freelance work for a game company and that was creative writing — but even then, I didn’t quit my day job, because freelance gonna freelance. The money from freelancing is wildly inconsistent. It arrives with all the warning of an earthquake or tornado, and is as reliable. To write the freelance words, and to continue writing Very Bad Novels, I simply worked day jobs and stole time when I could. Morning, lunch break, night. Weekends. Sometimes if people were going out, I didn’t, I stayed in and got some wordherding done. And eventually I met my wife (well, she wasn’t my wife at the time, it wasn’t like I met some time traveler lady who had married me in the future), and she had a steady job and drum roll please, insurance, and so I was able to disentangle from the day job and work freelance full-time.

But even there, some vital notes must be underlined —

First, I required her support to do this. Emotional, yes, but financial, too. My freelance income matched hers, but her income was steady, week to week, and again, came with insurance.

Second, the freelance ultimately became a day job. (But without the security of a day job.) I was now using my writing time to write for other people, not for myself. This wasn’t the worst thing in the world — it helped me train on deadlines and deal with editors and learn to write cleanly and with clarity, but it was still ultimately delaying a larger leap into novels.

Third, when it came time to buy a house, oh ho ho, I still had to return to the dread day job world. Why? Because the bank didn’t speak freelance.

This was literally the kind of conversation I had with the lender:

“Who is your employer?” they asked.

“Oh, I don’t have one, I’m freelance.”

“Freelance… freelance…” he said, as if the word were weird, and in German.

“Yes, sorry, independent contractor.”

“Right! Of course.”

“I have steady income and contracts I can demonstrate going forward and a history of getting paid, plus savings, which I’m told should be good enough.”

“Absolutely, Mister Wendig. Again, who is your employer?”

“I don’t — I don’t have an employer –“

“So you’re unemployed.”

“No! Yes. No? I’m an independent contractor–“

“Right, right, right, yes, absolutely. Ahem. So, who is your employer?”

Then I chewed my way through my phone.

Meaning, I got a job to show a payment history to a mortgage company so I could buy an actual house. If I wanted a house of our own, I couldn’t just juggle a couple of middle fingers and pay them in the currency of my dreams. It sucked. It wasn’t fair. It was what it was. I got the house which then meant a mortgage, which thankfully I was able to pay with freelance — but even when it came time to disentangle from freelance and try my hand at writing novels, I was forced then to endure the worst financial year of my life. I’d thankfully saved up, and again, had the critical support of my wife. But shifting over to writing novels only was a scary leap — one that took a long time for which to prepare, one that needed careful planning and not just a bold sprint toward a brick wall. It was a risk, yes, but a calculated one. And one that for a year left our finances as decidedly “touch and go.”

Presently, I remain a full-time writer. My wife no longer works, and was a SAHM and also helps me with the business side of authorial life. The ACA was honestly instrumental in allowing us to do this — though who knows what happens when that goes away, or when the costs of health insurance become simply untenable. I may need to return to a day job, who knows?

And if I do, I hope there will be no shame in that.

Because there jolly well shouldn’t be any fucking shame in that.

At all. Full stop.

Most artists have day jobs.

That’s how it works. Because the alternative is often starvation, and I assure you, the “starving artist” myth is one that serves the people who want to take advantage of you. If your belly is empty, you are not going to work at your best, nor will you make excellent decisions, and it won’t take much for an exploitative content farm to dangle something in front of you in the hope you’ll take a bite. Art needn’t be made in discomfort. There is no shame in comfort, in paying your bills, in eating food and enjoying the shade from a ceiling which itself is underneath a roof. You may even be likelier to make great art while comfortable, because you aren’t desperate. Yes, there’s certainly a romance to the scrappy young artist, not kowtowing to the man — but there’s also a powerful reality to an artist who can afford some time and space and more than a packet of ramen upon which to subsist. You can do both. You can work a day job, and continue to make art. Great art. Your art. Risky art.

Art is enough of a risk as it is without you making it riskier.

Yes, we’re all going to die one day. No need to hasten it.

More to the point, beware the privileged advice that demands a kind of sacrifice on your part in service to your art — especially if that comes with any dose of shame or judgment about what constitutes a real artist, a real writer, a true visionary. I’m hyper-privileged and was lucky to have a support system in place, somewhat, to help me get to where I am. My wife was instrumental. I also didn’t have student loans thanks to some great scholarships. And even then, I still had to take day jobs, or I’d have been fucked from day one. If you’ve come here seeking practical advice on when to quit your day job? I can’t tell you that. I don’t know your situation. For me the answer was: I quit the day job when I had to make a choice whether or not to keep working the 9-to-5 or hop the rail and devote all my time to freelance. It became one or the other, and to keep the day job would’ve meant losing the freelance work because I couldn’t hack it. I made my choice, and it worked out, but it was a choice I had to make, not one I made prematurely — and even when I did make it, I made it with as much money saved up as I could in case of sudden professional drought.

But you? Your life isn’t mine and I can’t tell you what to do, or what not to do.

And more to the point, nobody else can tell you, either.

Sure, we’re all gonna die. And yes, if you wanna make art, then make art. But how you do that, on what timetable, and in what circumstances, is up to you. No shame. No judgment.

* * *

WANDERERS: A Novel, out July 2nd, 2019.

A decadent rock star. A deeply religious radio host. A disgraced scientist. And a teenage girl who may be the world’s last hope. An astonishing tapestry of humanity that Harlan Coben calls “a suspenseful, twisty, satisfying, surprising, thought-provoking epic.”

A sleepwalking phenomenon awakens terror and violence in America. The real danger may not be the epidemic, but the fear of it. With society collapsing—and an ultraviolent militia threatening to exterminate them—the fate of the sleepwalkers and the shepherds who guide them depends on unraveling the mystery behind the epidemic. The terrifying secret will either tear the nation apart—or bring the survivors together to remake a shattered world.

Preorder: Print | eBook

Friday Newsfood Feeds You With Some Book Release News

Newsy newsy newwwwws, exchanging glances. Er, ahem, what I mean is, hey! It’s Friday and I’ve got some news nibblings for you, if you care to have ’em.

The note is key. Hey, who’s the keynote speaker this year at DFWCon? *receives message* Oh hey, it’s me! June 22-23, I’ll be there, giving my dubious untruths about the writing life. Hope to see you there.

Win stuff, you butts. That’s right, there’s now a pre-order contest running over at Kevin Hearne’s site for Death & Honey — you wanna win some cool signed books, then click on over there, hand the man your pre-order proof, and maybe win some things.

Get your hot fresh death prediction here! Also, Let’s Play Books is extending our their Miriam Black signed-book deal — order from them, I’ll sign it and customize a prediction of your inevitable demise, and they’ll ship it. It’s rad, do it. True for any of the books of the series!

And now, for some sweet sassy book deal news.

Hey, guess what?

I’m writing a sequel to Damn Fine Story.

From the announcement:

NYT bestseller Chuck Wendig’s ONE FANTASTIC FREAKIN’ STORY, a follow-up to Damn Fine Story that focuses on storytelling in the sci fi, fantasy, horror, and suspense genres, covering worldbuilding, the hero’s journey, tropes, archetypes, and more, to Amy Jones at Writer’s Digest Books, for publication in the fall of 2020, by Stacia Decker at Dunow, Carlson & Lerner

As noted, it’ll be another story-focused exploration, this time focusing on how and why we tell tales across a variety of genres — what makes a story scary, what does worldbuilding do for your story, what the hell are tropes and why are they good and also bad? I’m really looking forward to writing this one as a nice follow-up to DFS, a book that has gotten a surprising amount of love (and, if we’re being frank, sells really well). Be cool to stick the jaunty elk on the cover in a space suit and give him SWORD ANTLERS or something.

So that’s the news, folks.

See you next week.

The Story About The Story: Or, How Writers Talk About Their Books

Being an author of books requires you to be a many-headed beast.

Don’t get me wrong — it starts with one head, one neck, one breath weapon, and at that point you are a monster singularly-tasked with doing the one thing explicit in the title: you must author a motherfucking book. That’s your first job. Your first breath weapon is ink and prose. You are a beast with that one burden:

WRITE.

THE.

BOOK.

But as with all RPGs, you are eventually going to level up.

You are going to finish the first draft of that book and you are going to be forced out of your quiet and contemplative lair where you will now be out in the greater world, stomping across the fantasy map at large, and you will suddenly find that you cannot help but see that the tasks before you necessitate the sprouting of many more heads, each with tasks to complete, each with terrifying and strange breath weapons you’ve never before seen and certainly never practiced. You’ve leveled up, but so has your quest, so have your enemies, so have all the tasks at hand.

What I’m trying to say is:

Being a writer is about more than writing.

Writing a book is about more than sitting down and writing the book.

We know this. But I don’t think we’re always so good at knowing exactly what this means — as in, there’s a lot about being a writerperson of books that nobody tells you and so there’s a whole buncha shit you simply don’t plan for. And you maaaaybe should.

One of those things you’re going to have to do, and this is honestly a hard one for a lot of writers, is learning how exactly you’re going to talk about your book.

Your story is not the only story that matters. What also matters is — perhaps ironically! — the story about the story. And, even trickier is the fact you aren’t developing a single story about your story, ohhh no. You’ve got to learn to talk about your book in a myriad of ways! You’ve got to learn to speak about it in a variety of directions depending on your needs, on the interest of the audience, on requests from publisher and venue…

(Seriously, imagine you are tasked with getting up in front of an audience — five people, fifty, or five hundred — and talking about you and your book for fifteen minutes.)

So, let’s go through this and talk about the many ways you might be expected to talk about your story. This is largely in a marketing/publicity way, but I also find that honing your sensibilities around this can help you to understand your own story better — and, the earlier you start to form the narrative around your story, the better.

Sarah McLachlan’s Building A Mystery

Here’s what’s going to happen:

People are going to ask you about your book.

I know, right? What fiends.

But they’re gonna. They’re going to want you to talk about your book at a bookstore, on a podcast, on a video, to a reading club, to a library, in a blog post, in a newsletter, at a con on a panel, at some rando who wants you to describe your book, in a box, with a fox, and to the magical cat at the center of the universe (if you are a writer and have not yet been brought before Magic Star Cat, you’ll have your chance, and do not fail this test for the judgment of Star Cat is profound).

And you’re best when you orchestrate this narrative.

Begin now, don’t get caught unawares.

Why Did You Write It?

Here is where I begin.

This is one of the hardest — and biggest — questions you can and maybe should ask yourself about the book. You’re free to wait till you have a book done, but you… can also get a jump on this question by asking yourself throughout, or even before your start. I don’t mean you should ask yourself the question as a limiting factor, as a way to interrogate whether or not you should write it, only that you’re welcome to start grappling with the Big Ideas now and not necessarily later.

Why are you writing this / why did you write this?

What drove you to choose this tale over all others?

What is your give-a-fuck factor?

It’s totally fine if the answer is, “I thought it would be a good story.” But it’s useful to you if there’s something deeper than that. Some truth hidden beneath the crust of this world… a subterranean, as-yet-unseen bit of emotional and intellectual machinery that’s connecting you to this story.

This is the backbone of any narrative you could form around your book (“the story about the story”). And this goes back to the heart of what I truly believe about authors and stories — you’re best off when you’re writing something that matters to you. Something that invokes the cuckoo dreamtangle of your brain, something that squishes your heartsblood right there onto the page. That’s what you’re going to bring to the narrative on the page, and also the narrative off and around it. Meaning, when people are like, why did you write this? or its crasser, crueller cousin, where did you get your idea? you’ll have not just some clumsy answer of, WELL UMMM I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE COOL, but you’ll have your own story to tell about it.

The Story About The Story

What happened in your life that lead to the book you wrote? What happened during the time you wrote the book? Not just process-stuff, though people sometimes want to hear that, but also life stuff — birth of a kid, death of a parent, a car accident, a foreclosure, an existential turning point, a midlife crisis, a rabid parrot attack, a nest of feral vampires moved in next door, whatever. I’m not saying to mine your life for tragedy, though alternatively, that’s what fiction often is anyway, to some degree. What were your difficulties writing the book? What was easy? What was fun, what wasn’t? What do you love about it? What scares you about it? Pick it apart. Take a scalpel and slice open the entire experience, snout to tail, and see what’s in there.

There’s a story somewhere in there.

A story in how — and why — you wrote this book.

Find it.

The Angles

Your book is also packed, presumably, with ideas. Big ones, little ones. Topics, tropes, notions.

You may be called to speak not about the book overall, but about something particular related to it.

You may be conjured from the ether to write a fucking blog post or article about it and —

Actually, hold on, let me just stop there for a second (imagine sound effect of screeching brakes). Let’s talk briefly about the efficacy of blog posts and more particularly, blog tours, for your book. From time to time a publisher / publicist will tell you, HEY, TO SELL YOUR BOOK WE HAVE SET UP THIS JUICY BLOG TOUR. And already, your butthole should be tightening with worry, because blog tours are not juicy, nor are they difficult to set up — it’s literally something anyone can do. Sure, I guess it’s nice to have a publisher do it for you, but it’s free as a breath of air. There’s no money in it, and it’s little effort to secure one, but it looks like a lot of work on their part, when the reality is, it’s a lot of work on your part. (Because you’re writing all the blogs.)

And it’s a lot of work on your part for a dubious return on that effort. This is a case of artisanal data (aka, anecdotal), but blog tours don’t nudge the needle very much. As I’ve said many times before, you are able to, with outreach on social media and blogs, to sell tens of copies of books, when a publisher really wants/needs you to sell 1000s. That’s not to say selling 10s is bad! I’d rather sell ten copies than no copies, and if I truly believe in the book, then one copy in the hands of an excited reader might over time before ten more sales as they leave a review and tell their friends. There is a definitive ripple effect, and the more eyes that see your book, the better, which I think is where the logic behind a blog tour comes from. But at the same time, it usually requires you to churn out thousands of words to non-paying outlets where you kinda tap-step-shuffle to sell your book to people you don’t know on blogs with audiences whose numbers are unknown.

Here, someone is wisely jumping in and saying, BUT CHUCK, YOU HOST GUEST POSTS BY AUTHORS, SO WHY SHOULD WE EVER DO A GUEST POST HERE. Well, maybe you shouldn’t. I can’t promise I’m moving the needle very much for you, either. I can at the least show a bit of legacy cred in that this blog has been around since October of the YEAR 2000, and in that time I’ve built up a subscription list of 9000+ readers and a steady number of non-subscribing daily visitors. But even then, maybe ten percent of the people who read your post will click through to a buy link — and what they do after they leave here, I can’t say. My point at least is that I can prove your book is in front of eyeballs.

So, writing blogs for someone else isn’t entirely useless — but you’re better off with a targeted strategy where you get on a few of the bigger ones, and not, say, a shotgun scattering of rando-blogs. This is maybe less true for debut authors, who honestly may be best scrapping for every ounce of attention they can find? I dunno.

Anyway.

Back to the overall point.

You may be called to speak or write about your book in a more directed fashion or be put on panels regarding your book — and here, it is best to consider what angles of attack you might use to talk about your book. If I wanted to talk about my Miriam Black books, I’ve got a whole bucket of things I can talk about. I can talk about death, both the mythology of it and the real-deal-holy-shit-reality of it. I can talk about birds, or psychic powers, or that time I took a research trip to the Florida Keys for The Cormorant, whatever. I’m trying now to think about all the things I can talk about with Wanderers — I did a driving trip from California to Colorado, and that’s an angle. There is a whole lot of sciencey stuff (that’s a scientific term, by the way, “sciencey”) that provides an angle. It’s a book very much about America — both in a timeless way and in a of-this-moment-in-time fashion, so there’s that. This helps me to know what panels I might be put on, what I might say when questioned about the book, or what kinds of articles or posts I might write about it.

My son’s grade school teacher is helping them learn about storytelling and one of their techniques to tell stories is to focus not on the watermelon, but on the seeds. So, you don’t have to tell the class about your entire summer vacation, but rather, the day you went to the beach, or the sandcastle you built there, or the shark that ate your mom. This is a bit like that — the larger story about your story is the watermelon, and finding these smaller bits are the seeds nestled in the melon. Also melons are bullshit. Fuck melons. Yes, that’s right, even watermelons. You heard me. I won’t be bought off by Big Melon. I WON’T BE SILENCED

Some Sample Angles

Are there themes implicit? A theme, again, is really just the argument your book is trying to make, so suss ’em out.

Is there writing craft stuff you can talk about? You might get to give a talk or do a panel at a writing con or at a genre-con about writing the book, and so it behooves you to be able to talk about the craft components — not as a declarative THIS IS HOW I DID IT NOW YOU DO IT TOO, PUNY HOOMANS, but just in a, “Here’s how this sausage was made” way.

Are there social or moral issues in the work to discuss?

Are there interesting technologies?

Fascinating mythologies?

Curious ornithologies?

SHUT UP I LIKE BIRDS

YOUR BOOK SHOULD HAVE SOME FUCKING BIRDS IN IT

I WON’T BE SILEN

The Elevator Pitch, The Logline, The Single-Sentence Stunner

Listen I just want you to know I hate this fucking part too.

I get it. You wrote a whole book. And now you’re tasked with writing a single-serving sentence meant to describe it and entice someone. If a query letter is rendering a 500-lb. pig into a 5-lb. bucket, writing an elevator pitch is rendering that same massive oinker into a single-bite amuse-bouche appetizer. Less a bucket, more a spoon.

This is hard. This hurts.

And you gotta do it.

Sometimes, it’s easy — with the Miriam Black books, it’s no big thing to say, “It’s about a young woman who can see how you’re going to die when she touches you,” and I can add in, “which helps her solve murders before they happen,” or, “and so she’s about as emotionally stable as a garage full of cats on fire.” I don’t need to get into the weeds of the plot of any of the books, I can just rattle that shit off, and you’re either into it, or you’re not. It’s like how a pop song has to have a hook? Right? A catchy bit that gets in your head, keeps circling back around. Finding the elevator pitch is that hook. Question marks are shaped like hooks for a reason, and so the hook is — if not a question itself, a mystery that embeds itself in the mental cheek of the reader and reels them in like a fish on the line.

I’m still sussing out what to say about Wanderers — the easy lead-in is, “A lone girl begins sleepwalking across the country, and every few miles, another person joins her, and they cannot be stopped, or harmed, or swayed from their path,” but it’s also a really huge book, and that bit doesn’t say anything about the so-called shepherds who travel with them, or how America responds (often poorly) to the mystery of what the sleepwalking epidemic is, why it’s happening, or if there is a malevolent or benevolent purpose. It’s really, really hard to distill 800 pages of epic spec-fic into a juicy soundbite, but that’s my challenge, not yours. Maybe just talking about the sleepwalkers is enough — it was, after all, the first image in my head that got the ball rolling for me to write this book four, maybe five years ago.

The Cover Copy

It’s not your job to write cover copy.

And yet, write some.

Again, this sucks. It’s hard. It’s still a huge pig stuck in a small bucket. (Though at least not a spoon this time.) But write the cover copy. Three good paragraphs synopsizing the story. Read those from other books in your genre, get a feel for how they’re written, and write it. Not only does this help you get a grip on the story, but it’ll also help you when the publisher writes their summary for you to know if there’s anything to improve. A good publisher will certainly consider your input. I’ve written a few that were used outright by the publisher.

(And if you haven’t sold the book yet, the result of this can go into your query letter.)

And at the very least, it’s one more thing that helps you talk about the book.

How We Talk About Our Books Matters

We like to believe that writing a book is enough. And in many ways, it is. You don’t have to do anything beyond writing and editing the book. Once it’s out there, you can stop. That’s okay. But also, your book is releasing on a literal tide of dozens of other books in its genre, hundreds of other books in general, and all that is born upon seas of countless other distractions (social media, video games, oceans of pornography).

Plus, you’re a storyteller.

It is wholly appropriate for you to figure out the story about your story.

You have one. I’m sure of it. Our books are not born of nothing. They’re made from us, and the greatest mistake we make as authors is to believe we are not an important part of that — that we don’t have anything to say, that we’re just a cog in the creative machine, that the book is a shield we hide behind. But that’s not true. The book is a part of you. And you matter! This massive story came out of you (not literally), like a weird little book baby. It’s got your memetics wound up in there, and it came out of your experiences, your ideas, your hopes and fears. There’s something in there to talk about. Just as the book has a hook, so does how you talk about the book.

You can do it.

I believe you.

I’ll see you on a panel someday, fancy author.

NOW HOLD STILL WHILE I YELL AT YOU ABOUT BIRDS AND MELONS I WON’T BE SIL

* * *

WANDERERS: A Novel, out July 2nd, 2019.

A decadent rock star. A deeply religious radio host. A disgraced scientist. And a teenage girl who may be the world’s last hope. An astonishing tapestry of humanity that Harlan Coben calls “a suspenseful, twisty, satisfying, surprising, thought-provoking epic.”

A sleepwalking phenomenon awakens terror and violence in America. The real danger may not be the epidemic, but the fear of it. With society collapsing—and an ultraviolent militia threatening to exterminate them—the fate of the sleepwalkers and the shepherds who guide them depends on unraveling the mystery behind the epidemic. The terrifying secret will either tear the nation apart—or bring the survivors together to remake a shattered world.

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