Gifts For Writers 2019

SWEET JESUS, THESE HOLIDAYS, THEY JUST KEEP HAPPENING. And each year, you surely look to the heavens for an answer to the plaguing question: “What the hell do I get for the writer in my life?” (Because surely, you only have one writer in your life. It’s kind of a Highlander situation.)

And so once again I arrive, like the Riders of Rohan, galloping over the hill with a beaming light of Gift Ideas For Writers.

Gonna make this one pretty quick and snappy, because we all got shit to do.

For The Wealthiest Landowner

Long now have I gone without a writing shed (by “long” I mean like, two months) and it’s fucking killing me. IT IS KILLING ME, I said, and I’m definitely not being melodramatic at all, because even now my creative spirit atrophies as I am away from my horcrux I mean writing shed. Okay, more seriously, I’m managing fine, but will eventually get a shiny new shed in which to masturbauhhh I mean write stories. Shut up. Quit lookin’ at me. *hisses*

So, if you’re somewhat wealthy and have land, maybe you too want to get a writing space for your Writer Friend. Studio Sheds are an option, is what I’m saying.

For The Under-Caffeinated

Y’all need some coffee. Coffee is how the words are made. “But Chuck,” you say, “not all writers drink coffee,” and that’s true, except those writers are exiled from the Authorial Star Chamber and their name goes on a list, a dangerous list. Okay fine there’s no list, but seriously, coffee is good, and a coffee subscription is a helpful thing. You might find some nice options here, in fact. Though Angel’s Cup tends to be my favorite just for the sheer wild variety of what you get. There’s also the Yes Plz Beans & Zines approach if you want a little reading with your brewing.

For The Ink Addicts Among Us

I don’t do fountain pens and I don’t handwrite my books, but I do like a good pen now and again, and for my mileage, the best pen I own is the Squire from Baron Fig. They sent me one a while back and it’s legit. Writes like a dream and is sturdy, feels good in the hand. Isn’t cheap. Remains worth it. I also don’t know where mine is — it’s been jangled up in the move somehow, and I assume I’ll find it in the year 2024, located in some box containing random action figures and sex toys. Needless to say, I shouldn’t be trusted to pack anything. But get this pen. (There’s a neat “red pen” variant for editors.) Also, they have great notebooks, too, including some nifty “guided” notebooks that help you keep specific kinds of journals, like this one here.

For The Perpetually Icy

Typing and tweeting requires nimble, naked fingers, but it’s wintertimes and you may want warm hands, and so I recommend to you: fingerless gloves.

For Those Who Like Hot Dudes Reading

There’s Hot Dudes Reading. Just in case we need a reminder that books are hella sexy.

For Those With Writer’s Block

Here’s an actual writer’s block — I mean, sorta. It’s a block of wood. Bonus: it’s a lamp too whose light will shine the way forward through the dark forest of the writer’s life.

For Those Who Storify Their Games Or Gamify Their Stories Or Whatever

Let’s see. There’s Storymatic’s Synapsis! Or the Wordsmith Deck. Or the classic, and my favorite, the Writer Emergency deck.

For The Software-Minded

Scrivener is of course the classic, but have you seen their other product, Scapple? Scapple has some serious outlining organization-fu.

For The Everyone Who Writes Just Shut Up And Buy This

Dreyer’s English. If the writer in your life doesn’t have this? They need this. (There’s gonna be a game, too. But that’s later.) This is an immensely good, funny, and kind look at the English language. Flexible where appropriate, and will give a good look at the granular side of this thing we do.

For The August Among Us

Venerable scriptwriter (and now, novelist) John August provides access to his Scriptnotes podcast alongside transcripts and such, for a nicely neat low price. Check it.

For The Visual Writer

DSLR cameras are hella cheap right now because: holidays. A good, if not entirely cheap, gift for a writer — a camera to let them go out into the world, snap some snaps, bring it back to the page. You might say, “But our phones now have great cameras on them, dipshit,” and yes, that is true — but there is a high value placed on putting down the phone. Pick up the phone it’s like, suddenly there are tweets and texts and various alarms alarming you of alarming things. The camera is pure. It escapes the verbal. It puts you in the moment.

For, Well, Everyone

We like it when you buy our books.

We like it when you review them.

So maybe do that.

I do of course have a couple books on writing ahem ahem ahem — Kick-Ass Writer and Damn Fine Story. And I also have a shiny new biggum book, Wanderers, which I’m sure you’ve never heard about because I never talk about it. *shifts uncomfortably*

You can find my books at Indiebound, Amazon, Apple, Kobo, B&N, Powells, etc.

And if you wanted signed and personalized copies of my books?

Doylestown Bookshop will gladly ship to you! Contact them for personalization.

Prior Year Lists

If you wanna check older lists, here are links to 2018, 2017, 2016, 2015, 2014.

MERRY NON-DENOMINATIONAL SOLSTICEDAY EVERYBUGGY