Chuck Wendig: Terribleminds

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Flash Fiction Challenge: Must Love Dinosaurs

Last week’s challenge: “Random Title Generation.”

Didja see? Didja see?

DINOCALYPSE NOW is ready to be downloaded into your eye-pads and Kindlemaschines and Nookies or whatever the hell you use in this crazy e-reader future. (And you can pre-order print!)

But, hey, I’d like to give a copy away. An e-copy, to be clear.

To get it, you gotta dance for your dinner. Or, rather, your dinosaurs.

This week’s flash fiction challenge?

Whatever you write must feature dinosaurs.

You have 1000-words.

You have one week. Due by noon EST on May 11th.

I’ll pick my favorite a week or so after the deadline and I’ll announce here at this post.

Again:

Must.

Feature.

Dinosaur(s).

RAAAAAAR.

Now go write.

EDIT:

DELIGHTFULLY NERDED by these stories. So much love.

I have chosen a winner.

Hostile Crayon’s RAWR THE PLUSH VELOCIRAPTOR.

http://hostilecrayon.dreamwidth.org/150863.html

Contact me! terribleminds at gmail dot com.

 

Seeking Interviewees For The Thursday Interviewpalooza

I’ve got a few more interviews coming up — the guys behind So You Created A Wormhole, Ann LeMay, comedian Dylan Brody, plus all the questions you crazy kids sent in to me — but just the same, it’s time again that I start fishing for new torture interview subjects.

As you may know, I use this spot to interview storytellers. That can be anybody, really — authors, filmmakers, songwriters, comedians, comic book creators, editors, game and experience designers, etc.

This has two components — as a reader, feel free in the comments below to recommend some folks you want me to interview. I can’t promise it’ll work out, but hey, drop some names.

The second component is if you are a storyteller who’d like to be interviewed in this very space.

Now, let me put my Warning, Cranky Shithead hat on for one teeny-weenie moment:

First, this isn’t a marketing tool. Ideally, yes, the interview will spread word about your books and games and whatever else you’re doing, and I’m happy if that coincides nicely with some release of yours. Just the same, this has to be an entertaining interview for the readers of this blog. They’re the reason this thing exists. So, ask yourself: “Do I make good interview material?” Do you have interesting ideas? A compelling journey? Thoughts on the subject of writing and storytelling (as this blog is focused on those things)?

Second, I want accomplished storytellers — I’m open to interviewing self-published authors (as I am one myself), but here’s the thing: given self-publishing’s incredibly low (read: non-existent) bar to entry, I tend to get a lot of self-published authors who want in but don’t really seem to have much worth talking about. Again that question: “Do I make good interview material?” If you find me prejudiced against self-published writers, that’s because self-published writers have made me prejudiced against self-published writers.

So! All that being said —

Want in on an interview slot? Hit me up at:

terribleminds at gmail dot com.

Make sure “INTERVIEW” is in the subject of your email, yeah?

Now, I tend to get a flood of these emails, so I will try to work my way through and answer you. Forgive any delay on my part there, but as Miriam Black says, “It is what it is.”

Feel free to tell me in the email why you’d make a good interview subject. Also, if I don’t know you at all, I may ask to see something of yours — say, your book — so I know who you are and what you do. You can either email me said “thing” or I can provide you with a mailing address if need be.

And that’s all she wrote.

Thinking The Wrong Things About E-Book Pricing

I yammered about this on Twitter the other day, and it felt like the subject needed some more oxygen, and thus I’m staplegunning it to the blog post. *kachunk kachunk*

Feel free to comment. And agree. Or object. Or send me doodles of your pets as characters from various science-fiction and fantasy novels. Whatever makes your grapefruit squirt.

Okay.

E-books.

I’ve seen some pushback — generally very smart pushback — about why publisher e-books cost so much. The answer, in short, is that producing e-books costs more than you think. You’re paying for editors and cover design and, of course, for the book itself, and the mechanics of putting those things into a container are not the bulk of a book’s cost. Hence, e-books are always going to be close to their physical counterparts in cost. After all, you’re buying a story, and the container is largely incidental. The experience is slightly different from format to format, but over all my Kindle version of THE STAND is no different from the hardback version, except I can use the hardback to bludgeon a hippo to death should I so choose.

It’s a good point.

And probably true.

And it really doesn’t matter.

Here’s the thing: the “what should e-books cost?” question often takes into cost the actual cost of producing the e-book when, in reality, it needs to look at perceived value, instead.

Now, caution — I’m not an ecomonom… economonist… mathemeconom… whatever. I’m not great with money or numbers, so bear with me. (I’m also not great with elevators, escalators, tiny rodents, sporks, chopsticks, ferrets, or fingerless gloves. Just in case you’re making a list.)

An e-book is a digital good. Ephemeral and intangible. Sometimes we don’t even have access to the e-book itself in the form of a file — in the case of Amazon, we’re just “renting” the e-book the same way you rent Taco Bell food. You bought it. It’s inside your device. But if Amazon decides you don’t need it anymore, one snap of the wizard’s fingers and the e-books are poof, gone, siphoned from your reader like gas from a gas-tank. E-books have no supply — if I buy one, it doesn’t reduce how many remain, because theoretically infinite copies remain. No cost to reprint. No cost to remake. It just… sits out there, attempting to be the very embodiment of the Long Tail.

This is what the audience sees and believes.

It matters little what the e-book actually costs.

It only matters what the audience thinks they should cost.

Now, the audience won’t agree on an actual number (they’re cagey, those fuckers), but what they do seem to roughly agree on is, e-books should be cheaper than their print counterparts. What the e-book actually costs is irrelevant. What matters is the expected value loss by going with an ephemeral digital item — and, further, added into that is the expectation of, “I bought a device to read this, which cost me money already.”

Further cognitive dissonance is born of the fact that smaller producers (smaller publishers or individual authors) can produce a digital version of a book far more cheaply and easily than they can a hardcopy.

Publishers have themselves helped to confuse this issue by creating the expected release structure of books — from hardback to a trade paperback and then maybe to a mass market paperback. The e-book interrupts this chain because you can’t put out a book without an e-book counterpart, and so e-books don’t fit into that progression. The others are tiered and timed, but e-books don’t really fit into a tier or a timeframe.

To price e-books, there then exists a fight against some rational concerns and some very irrational behavior on the part of this active audience. But that’s normal — the freaknomics of the audience is always irrational. You can’t fight the flood; you can only try to swim in it. Certainly if enough big-ass epic motherfucker authors (think Stephen King-sized) made it a point to focus this meme or if Amazon enforced a higher price on e-books, the perception might shift. But neither’s likely to happen anytime soon.

One hopes and assumes that as publishers get better at making e-books, their costs will go down. Further, we must remember that e-books are in the “formative technology” phase right now. They’re VCRs and tape-decks. We won’t see CDs and DVDs for a little while down the line, and when we do, price will need to change (up or down, I can’t say). Also: infinite supply is a key component, here.

So. What to do, what to do? What’s the appropriate range of e-book prices you hope to see? Throw some thoughts into the ring, let ’em fight it out all scrappy-like.

(Related reading: e-book data, viral catalysts, and spurring word-of-mouth.)

25 Realizations Writers Need To Have

1. The Story Is The Thing

“Publishing is on a collision course with the sun! Amazon has eaten all the books and shat them out as e-books! Development funds are drying up! Writers are shanking each other with Bic pens over a 1/4-cent-per-word!” Stop. Breathe. Refocus. Media companies will rise and fall. Technologies come and go. The story remains constant. More to the point, our need for stories remain constant. Storytellers and writers aren’t going anywhere. They may need to bend with the wind. They may need to find new ways to thrive. But they — we — will always have a place. The audience will be there. We just have to find them.

2. Old Stories, New Faces

As storytellers, we must adapt by adopting new ways of doing things — or, rather, new ways of telling stories. . The old roads may still work, but new paths through the jungle must be cut with our word-machetes. When you see a new piece of technology or social media, ask the question, “How can I use this to tell stories?” If you see a new publishing option (one that does not exploit the author), it’s wise to try it — if only to see if you can find new audience and a new vehicle by which to tell your tales.

3. Thrive, Don’t Survive

New models and new means open new ways for you to make a living by telling stories. That’s the goal, right? It’s certainly my goal. Yours might be, “Barely have enough to pay rent and buy myself a 9-pack of Ramen,” but I say, aim higher. Point is, if the old way isn’t giving you the living you need, you need to mix that shit up. Diversify. Feint right, then duck left — break free of the Conga line and do your own spasmodic seizure-dance on the Disco floor. You need to learn your own moves. Shake what your Momma gave you.

4. Embrace All Tools

In any career, it pays to learn all the tricks and tools of the trade. A carpenter doesn’t just know how to build chairs. A dominatrix doesn’t just know how to spank an upturned bottom or shove mascara brushes into pee-holes. A carpenter learns how to use the Laser-Nail 9009. A dominatrix learns how to build her own cat-of-nine-tails from the entrails of her gimp. (Okay, this is probably why I’m neither carpenter nor dominator.) Writers should learn tools old and new. Don’t just learn how to write a novel. Write short. Write long. Write scripts. Write games. Write blogs. Write creative non-fiction. Write psycho-vids for the HoloNet. Learn it all. Do it all. Stay relevant and diversify. The shark swims forward or he drowns. The monkey kills the monkey or the monkey doesn’t get the cupcake. Or something. Shut up.

5. The Myth Of The Perfect Path

Amazon is the savior! Amazon is a monster! The Big Six destroy authors! The Big Six will save publishing! Kickstarter! No, wait! Indiegogo! Love agents! Fuck agents! Hollywood rules! The studio system sucks balls! Brain! On fire! Fritzing out! Too many exclamation points! Too many opposing viewpoints! Can’t feel legs! Ahem. No perfect path exists. No one company or model is ideally suited to anybody and everybody. Amazon helps many. Amazon hurts others. Traditional publishing has fucked over some authors, and has unfucked just as many. No perfect path exists. We all choose which angels and devils to place upon our shoulders. Accept your nuanced and imperfect options.

6. Tribes Are Fucking Stupid

To build off that last point, tribes are fucking stupid. We create tribes to stroke our own egos, to confirm our choices to the world at large when we only need to confirm them to ourselves. Detonate your tribes. Destroy your cults. Tell your leaders you’re leaving for the secular life and if they fight you, bludgeon them with a femur and move along. Embrace a single inclusive tribe: the tribe of storyteller.

7. The Power In Clumsily Flailing About Like A Drunken Orangutan

Say “yes” more than you say “no.” Sometimes trying new things and learning new skills isn’t about a focused strategy or a well-meaning plus/minus pro/con list. You need to be savvy in business but you’re also a creative human being, goddamnit, and sometimes creativity is about wildly pirouetting and crashing into lamps and trying new things just because you got a bug up your ass to do it.

8. Your Work Has Value, So Claim Value For What You Do

Deny anybody who wants you to work for free. If you work for free, that’s something you do, not something someone asks of you — doubly true where they’re making money and you’re not. They might as well ask you to bend over and stick tennis balls up your poopchute for the pleasure of an audience without you getting even the benefit of a reach-around. Or health care. Or free tennis lessons! Stories have value. Storytellers have value. Anybody who says different should be thrown into a wood chipper and used for mulch.

9. Free Is Part Of A Strategy, Not The Whole Damn Strategy

That says it all but it bears unpacking: you can’t just give everything away and hope to thrive — or, frankly, even survive. You can give some stuff away. But don’t give it all away. Free is a zero sum, zero value game.

10. The Crass Reality Of “Monetization”

It’s an ugly word. “Monetization.” I gag a little when I say it. Whenever I hear it, a little trickle of blood oozes from my earholes. Just the same, storytellers need to eat, pay bills, support their deviant sexual habits, and that takes money, and that means you either work as a bag-boy and give your stories away for free or you find a way for your stories to help you make money. Sometimes that’s selling direct. Sometimes it’s a more circuitous path to the bill-paying and deviancy-having. Creativity without business sense will leave you starving. When you tell stories, ask the question (much as you may hate it): “How does this help me survive, and then thrive?”

11. The Internet Changed Everything

I’m not telling you something you don’t already know (and by the time you read this there will probably be something new, like, “THE MEMEGRID CHANGED EVERYTHING” or “THE NANO-BEES COLONIZED OUR STORY-PODS,” but fuck it, whaddya gonna do?), but I feel the need to remind storytellers that the Internet has made the tools of story creation and dissemination cheaper, easier, crazier, and farther-flung. Farther-flunger? Shut up. This is good in that it gives you and the audience greater connection, and troubling because it amps up competition and changes value. It is what it is. Take advantage.

12. Mother May I?

It’s time to stop asking for permission. Storytellers have been cast in a submissive role for a long time — “Please, Mistress, may I have another?” *WHACK* — and the worm is turning. Nobody’s doing you a favor by helping your story come to life. It’s not a treat placed on a dog’s nose while he waits patiently to chomp it down. This isn’t about killing gatekeepers so much as it is about redefining the gates. This isn’t about going DIY so much as it is about finding people — agents, editors, publishers, artists, other storytellers — who see you as a partner, not a peon. Symbiosis, not parasitism.

13. Bookstores Can Be Vital Places

This is not to say that new trumps old. That’s not the point. The point is, both exist, and both are likely to continue to exist. The real world — aka “meatspace,” aka “IRL,” aka “that place where I go to the grocery store and fondle overripe fruit” — is where people actually exist. And bookstores (and libraries, and movie theaters, and anywhere the audience gathers) still remain vital places. Reality trumps the digital space. Find ways to connect with the living, breathing audience. Leave room for those physical connections, which is not to say you should all be having some kind of author-audience orgy. I mean… y’know, unless you’re into that. *takes off pants, gently strokes mushy cantaloupe while moaning*

14. Speaking Of The Orgy

You can’t do this alone. Don’t think you can. Don’t think you can exist without some combination of partners, editors, artists, producers, agents, liaisons, lion-tamers, bee-wranglers, tweeters, whiskey procurement agents, sandwich-preparation-techs, and fluffers.

15. Other Writers Matter

Other writers are as crazy as you are, and trust me, I’ve seen what you do. (For the love of all that’s sacred, cover up those crotchless Naugahyde trousers. And put down the river otter.) Just the same, community in the writer’s world is key. Writers help writers. Storytellers help storytellers. They’re not competition. They’re partners. Cohorts. Drinking buddies. Folks who know how to properly dissolve a dead body.

16. The Audience Is More Active Than Ever

When fire touches water, the molecules go all batty and twitchy and that’s how water boils. The audience is the water, and they’re set to boil. The audience is an active element. They tweet, blog, post to Facebook, email the author, and create a generous (and alarmingly fast) feedback loop. And they’ll do you one better: prime movers in that space will create fan-fiction or involve themselves in the story in a big way. Open your door to the audience. Join the feedback loop. Get shut of notions of creative integrity and leave room for audience engagement, collaboration, and emergence.

17. Oh, And By The Way, You Need That Audience

Some creators treat their audience like an enemy. Do that and you’re dead. They’ll gut you like a fucking fish and stick a grenade where your heart used to be. The audience is the most important team member in any storyteller’s crew. Without the audience, you’re just a naked weirdo screaming at himself in the mirror.

18. Your Work Won’t Be For Everyone

The audience isn’t total. The audience is more and more fractured these days, like a hunk of hard toffee broken into pieces. But that’s okay. Smaller audiences are often more invested ones, creating a more vibrant ecosystem for creators. The age of the rockstar is fading, and that’s true across most of the artistic spectrum. But the death of the icon doesn’t mean the whole thing is going to collapse. When the big fish dies, the little fish can fill the space. You may not get to be Stephen King, but you can be a storyteller who makes a living — a good living — doing what he loves to do, and there is perhaps no more perfect thing than that.

19. It Puts The Word In The Mouth Or It Gets The Hose Again

Word of mouth is still the best driver for stories — it is the infection vector we all use and desire. But it’s changed. The Internet has widened the mouth so it can accommodate more words — our “circle of trust” has grown significantly bigger with the advent of social media. It’s no longer just the 10 people we hang out with at work or the bar. It’s the 100 people on Twitter, the 1000 on Facebook, the blogs and reviews we read.

20. Piracy Is Not Theft

A controversial point, but I want to put it out there: piracy, good or bad, is not theft. It is perhaps a kind of parasitism? Combat it where you can, find value in it where you can’t. Which leads me to…

21. You Can’t Control The Tides

Some forces lay outside an author’s control. You may be able to change some small things here and there, and you can certainly find new paths — but just the same, elements of this life will always be outside your control. Whether we’re talking e-book pricing or piracy or audience interest or Amazon or publishers or whether or not there are viral YouTube videos of me randily humping fruit at your local grocery store, some things are outside your control. When that’s the case, you can either go with the waves or walk away from the beach, but standing there and yelling at the tides will do you little good.

22. Be Generative

Do. Don’t just talk about it. Or think about it. Or play pretend. Put yourself out there. Tell stories. Lots of them. Learn the skill. Harness your talent. To be creative is to create. It’s all on you, motherfucker.

23. Storytelling And Writing Are Two Different Skills

I’ve said it before but I like it so much I plan on keep shoehorning it into your brain-hole: writing and storytelling are two different skills that feed off one another — a Yin and Yang, a pair of snakes biting each other’s tail. You must know the art of the story and the craft of communicating that story. One without the other is like a two-legged pony, dragging himself around all sad-ass, the most griefstruck pony in the world. Also, “Griefstruck Pony” was my nickname in the Crips. Or was it the Bloods? Whatever.

24. Maybe Time To Call Yourself A Storyteller?

I’m wondering if “storyteller” is more versatile than “writer?” Of course, it’s also probably worth even less respect on the open respect market. Try telling someone you’re a “storyteller” and they probably think you dress up like a goof and tell stories to wandering children for mere tuppence. Just the same, it’s a good way to differentiate between “I write technical VCR repair manuals” and “I write stories for an engaged audience.” And it also doesn’t pin you to any one format, platform, or medium. Shit, I don’t know. By the time I get to item #24 on these lists I’m usually drunk and dizzy. My nude body covered in fruit guts. So. Y’know. Enjoy that visual. *high-five*

25. A Good Story Is Your Best Defense

Your best defense against changing conditions and an uncertain environment is a good story. Book, comic, movie, game, cartoon, cave-based pictographs, whatever. By being capable and crafty, by being generative and progressive, by knowing how to do that thing you do, you insulate yourself from the chaos of the industry. The audience will always be there. The story matters to them, and they matter to you.


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Shooting Blackbirds: A Round-Up Of News And Reviews

Blackbirds is out now for just shy of a week, and this seems like a good time to do a round-up of stuff related to and orbiting around the book’s release? I’m totally geeked that the book is getting a lot of love (and, perhaps unsurprisingly, a lot of not love — it’s a tough book, no doubt, and is perhaps a bit polarizing, but I suppose I’d rather a book be polarizing than be shot straight down the gray mushy middle).

I’ll politely ask (beg, wheedle, plead, cajole) that if you have read the book and are interested in leaving a review somewhere (Amazon? B&N? Goodreads?) I’d be mighty appreciative.

On with the round-up, then. Load your rifles. Let’s shoot some blackbirds.

(If I missed anything, feel free to remind me in comments, I’ll add!)

Places I Pop Up Like An Unwanted Gopher

“I’m dying. Don’t get excited. You are, too.” I had me a big idea about writing Blackbirds, a notion about death and fate and powerlessness and hypochondria and all those crazy things, and as such, I’m over at John Scalzi’s space this past week talking about it. Check out: “The Big Idea: Chuck Wendig.”

I say make genre your bitch over at Criminal Complex, in an essay called “Genre Is A Moving Target.”

I exhort all you crazy writers to embrace your crazy over at Writer Unboxed: “Own The Crazy.”

I help you identify your shit-or-get-off-the-pot novel at Stephen Blackmoore’s space.

I join Uber-Human and Ultra-Creative JC Hutchins for the 100th episode of the Functional Nerds!

In this interview at Litstack, I say things like, “I procure hallucinogens from the Tuk Tuk people of Borneo, and then I kill my own doppelganger in hand-to-hand spirit combat.”

In this interview at My Bookish Ways (where they are also giving away a copy of Blackbirds, so don’t miss out), I say things like, “I like to drink a draught of bat’s blood before I write, and I can only write wearing a dead possum pubic wig.”

In this interview at LitReactor (with the one and only Keith “Rawdog” Rawson), I say things like, “You have bred true, penmonkey. Go rest now. Go die of the bird-flu, your work here is done.”

And finally, here at my own site, the 25 things I learned while writing the book.

Reviews That Don’t Suck

From Tor.com: “This is one of those novels that sucks you in and doesn’t let you off the hook until you’ve turned the final page… It’s a short, sharp tale that’s consistently captivating and a pure, dark delight from start to finish.”

From Shelf Awareness: “Wendig inserts surprising moments of humanity among all the profanity.”

From LitStack: “Wendig is not for the weak. Wendig is for the brave, the adventurous, those strong in mind and stomach.”

From Clear Eyes, Full Shelves: “And thus begins a visceral, blood-pumping (sometimes a lot of blood pumping out of someone’s body) ride filled with (minor spoiler alert) the obligatory Big Bad, his burned-out henchman, his amusingly sadistic henchwoman, an ironically named blackmailing conman and a mysterious metal suitcase.”

From Adventures Fantastic: “It’s a high octane ride through the dark recesses of humanity, a smashing blend of noir and the supernatural that combines the best of classic crime novels with downright genuine creepiness.”

From Violin In A Void: “It’s a quick and dirty brush with the seedier side of urban fantasy. A good kind of nasty, especially if you get a little tired of squeaky clean heroes and heroines who do no wrong.”

From The Book Stoner: “I enjoyed this very much and I spent half the time laughing my brains out. It’s just darkly hilarious? Hilariously dark? Anyway, read this if you’re into dark humor and gore and crime novels with a twist of fantasy.”

From Stefan’s Bookshelf: “Blackbirds is urban fantasy at it’s gory and violent best, 5 bloody stars.”

From Waiting For Fairies: “Blackbirds is a hauntingly macabre book… The prose is visceral and brutally beautiful.”

From Dice, Food, Lodging: “Blackbirds is a finely crafted story that didn’t disappoint me for even a page. The story is visceral and gripping and kept me reading straight through. I hate to call up the connotations of a “page turner,” as I have some distinctly non-stellar examples in my own head, but I honestly hated to put this one down.”

From Andrew Jack: “If you want the short version of this review, then here it is: I loved Blackbirds. I loved it as much as any other Urban Fantasy I’ve ever read, which, considering my almost inappropriate love of The Dresden Files is saying a lot.”

From Cupcake’s Cupboard: “Blackbirds, a rough, unflinching suspense tale from Chuck Wendig, introduces us to Miriam and the torture of knowing how people die, yet being powerless to stop it.”

From The Guilded Earlobe, a review of the audiobook: “In Blackbirds, Chuck Wendig has created a character who should be wearing a T-Shirt that says, ‘Spoiler Warning.'”

EDIT:

I’m told that SFX is giving the book a 4/5, saying, “Think Six Feet Under as written by Stephen King and Chuck Palahniuk.” So, that’s pretty sweet! (They didn’t much like Double Dead.)

From MyShelf Confessions: “This is a must read for fans of paranormal books on the much darker and grittier side of things.  I was hooked a few short pages in and could barely put Blackbirds down until I was finished.”

Flash Fiction Challenge: Random Title Generation

Last week: “A Traveling Tale”

Okay, tell you what, just go ahead and…

Click here.

You will see five randomly-generated military operation titles (I, for instance, got “Famous Wizard,” “Red Imperialism,” “World-Destroying Devil,” “Massive Justice” and “Flaming Bee”).

Choose one of the five. This is the title of your story.

That story doesn’t have to be about a military operation, though it can be if that’s what makes your grapefruit squirt. All I ask is that you use it to randomly generate your story title.

Any genre. Up to 1000 words. Due by Friday, May 4th, noon EST.

Post at your own online space.

Link back here so we can all see it.

Now generate a title and get to writing, penmonkeys.