Apple-Obsessed Author Fella

Fresh Outta The Oven: 500 Ways To Tell A Better Story

And the final “Book of 500” is out.

Let’s just get those pesky “How The Hell Do I Download This Into My Brain?” options outta the way:

Buy at Amazon (US)!

Buy at Amazon (UK)!

Buy at Barnes & Noble!

To buy direct from me, click the BUY button below — you will receive all three versions (MOBI, ePub, PDF). I generally fulfill orders soon as I see them, but just in case allow for 24 hours.

Wait, What The Hell Is This?

If you’re not aware, I like to do these (not-so-)little lists here at the site, my so-called “lists of 25.” In each I list 25 “things” about a specific subject related to storytelling, writing, or publishing.

I compile these lists into e-books for ease-of-use. That way they’re all in a single location should you choose to wiggle-waggle your toes in the waters of my dubious writing wisdom.

The other books include:

250 Things You Should Know About Writing

500 Ways To Be A Better Writer

500 More Ways To Be A Better Writer

And now, this one.

And Inside The Book I’ll Find What, Exactly?

This book aims to help you be a stronger writer and a savvier storyteller. You’ll learn how to infuse your narrative with mystery and gain tips on tackling the first chapter or mushy middle of your story. The book answers questions like, “What is transmedia? Why is now the coolest time to be a storyteller? How do I write a fantasy novel? What’s this guy’s fascination with unicorns, pornography, whiskey, and profanity?” And, finally, “Where are my pants? I was wearing pants when I started reading this book.”

The book roves giddily between advice that is practical, abstract, and downright satirical. Whether you’re a novelist, screenwriter or game designer, contained within you’ll find an exploration of what it is that we do – and how we do it better.

The book is, of course, very NSFW.

It may in fact be NSFL.

Those with heart conditions, weak constitutions, or frail dispositions should avoid, avoid, avoid.

The book contains the following lists (italics indicates never-before-published here):

  • 25 Lies Writers Tell (And Start To Believe)
  • 25 Realizations Writers Need To Have
  • 25 Reasons I Hate Your Main Character
  • 25 Reasons Now Is The Best Time To Be A Storyteller
  • 25 Reasons You Should Quit Writing
  • 25 Things All Writers Need
  • 25 Things I Learned While Writing Blackbirds
  • 25 Things I Want To Say To So-Called “Aspiring” Writers
  • 25 Things To Know About Writing The First Chapter Of Your Novel
  • 25 Things Writers Should Know About Creating Mystery
  • 25 Things You Should Know About Creativity
  • 25 Things You Should Know About Transmedia Storytelling
  • 25 Things You Should Know About Word Choice
  • 25 Things You Should Know About Writing Fantasy
  • 25 Things You Should Know About Writing Sex
  • 25 Things You Should Know About Writing Short Stories
  • 25 Ways To Earn Your Audience
  • 25 Ways To Fight Your Story’s Mushy Middle
  • 25 Ways To Unfuck Your Story
  • 25 Ways To Write Full-Time

Why Should I Buy This?

Because you’re a writer and you like to laugh and learn and think.

Because you like to binge on creative profanity.

Because you want to support this website and fund its continued existence.

Because you want to — by proxy — help feed my 13-month-old “human vacuum,” AKA “B-Dub.”

Because you’re an obsessive e-book hoarder.

Because you hate me and want to punish me with crass, filthy lucre, staining me with the sin of commerce.

Because you have three bucks and it’s this or, y’know, another phial of crack rock.

Because you like FREE BOOKS, MOTHERFUCKER (see below):

Free Book, Motherfucker!

For this week only (Monday June 24th to Monday, July 2nd), if you buy this book, I’ll also comp you a copy of the last “book of 500,” 500 More Ways. If you buy direct via terribleminds (using the BUY button above), you need to take no additional steps — this “free book” is automatic and I’ll send it right along (and if you already own it, hey, send it to someone you know). However, if you buy via Amazon or B&N, you’ll need to send me some kind of receipt or proof of purchase, emailed to me at terribleminds at gmail dot com.

Dig? Dig.

Wait, Did You Say “Final Book?”

This is the final book of 500.

I aim to, by the end of this, have 2000 total “things” about writing out in the world. So, we’ve got 250 + 500 + 500 + 500 = BOOBS — er, no, wait, I mean, = 1750. So, we’ve got 250 to go.

So, you’ll see another 10 or so of these “lists of 25”

After that –? Well, who knows? I’ve got some writing books in the works that will be providing content not found at all here at the site, but time will tell when those come scratching at your electronic door.

More Wallpapers

Below, more wallpapers! Click the image to be taken to Flickr, where you may download and share to your heart’s delight. (At Flickr, click View All Sizes for variable size downloads.)

Please to enjoy, and thanks for helping to spread the word!