Blackbirds: In Which I Beg, Plead, Wheedle, Cajole


My little book-baby, Blackbirds, is born tomorrow.

And I’m traveling — so, while I’m doing some pimping on the ground, I don’t know how much online pimpage I’ll be doing. And so I look to you fine feathered humans. And sentient spam-bots.

I am not above begging you people to do a little pimpage for me.

If you would be kind on the morrow to spread the word about the book? I would offer you endless gratitude. And a cupcake or a shot of something liquor-based if ever we meet. And a ride on a unicorn. Okay, there’s no unicorn, there’s just me in a white sheet with a cardboard paper towel tube duct-taped to my head, but as is said in the novel: “It is what it is.”

The book features everything you could ever want. Death! Sex! Profanity! Blood! Nightmares! Love triangle! Snark! Doom! Fate! Free will! Violence! Psychic powers! So much fun! Eeeeee!

Ahem.

Please tell a friend. Or many friends. Or a parent, child, stuffed bear, or imaginary foe.

My secret hope is that the book rockets up the charts like a mercury bullet popping out the top of a glass thermometer, but that’s not in my hands. I just hope you’ll help me spread the word is all.

And, in case my earnest plea is doing nothing for you…

First, it was my birthday yesterday. So. Y’know. *nudge nudge*

Second, I have a tiny human who needs food and clothing. I mean, jeez, just look at the poor kid:

Third, and finally, if you don’t buy the book and spread the word, I’ll weaponize herpes and give it to all of you. And I’ll use an enormous flock of blackbirds to deliver the disease. Because I’m a showman.

So, to review:

a) Earnest plea.

b) Birthday wishes!

c) Sad baby falling down.

d) WEAPONIZED HERPES.

Thanks for helping spread the word.

BLACKBIRDS. April 24th.

AmazonB&NIndiebound.


24 responses to “Blackbirds: In Which I Beg, Plead, Wheedle, Cajole”

  1. Hey, Amazon’s even got a pre-order one-click for the kindle edition.So…done. (And if you must know, it was the “sad baby falling down” that did the trick for me.)

    You’re shameless, Chuck.

  2. Not fair using the cute tiny human!

    Although, I appreciate the delightful irony in selling “Death! Sex! Profanity! Blood! Nightmares! Love triangle! Snark! Doom! Fate! Free will! Violence! Psychic powers!” with a photo of blissful sweet innocence.

  3. I just read your post on Writer Unboxed, came her to look at your blog, and would love to become a “follower” but the only thing I see is Twitter and I don’t do that…yet…so I’m wondering if I have overlooked something?

    I quite enjoy your style of writing…may you have great success with your new book!

    Donna L Martin
    http://www.donasdays.blogspot.com

  4. hmph. I suppose. Even though you made me come up with a new title for MY book coming out this year because you snabbled “Blackbirds” first, you fiend. The tiny human and I worked out a deal. I promote Daddy’s book, and he listens carefully to my instructional video, “Fun with Screwdrivers: Appliances Are Your Toys”. Vengeance, I say vengeance shall be mine!

  5. Thanks, all! I know, using the tiny human is low. But we do what we must.

    Because we can.

    @GMS: To the meme-mobile!

    @Sabrina: Your vengeance shall be keenly felt!

    @Steve: Using such innocence to promote this book is ironic in a number of ways, actually…

    Thanks again, peeps.

    — c.

  6. Fine, then, I will do something equally devious to help you out. I will have my local library district purchase a batch, which they will boldly display, cover out, front and center before the doors of their gloriously remodeled facilities to snare the unwary passersby. Just think, normally wasted public funds going to work for YOU!

  7. No fan of tiny humans (cute as yours is), and I would’ve done it anyway–huge shameless fan here. Only reason I’m not hiding in the bushes of your yard with a copy of every single word you’ve written is because I live on an island far, far away (no joke–I do). Did I tell you I met Laurie at the SFWC last Feb? Didn’t know she was your agent then (lucky her). So yeah, I’ll spread the word, buy me my copy, send you a Caribbean-sun-warmed bday hug, and a sandy-bottomed ice-cold beer from the beach to toast the release tomorrow.

  8. I wrote a very long review of Blackbirds on my site where I wax lyrical about how badass it is without trying to spoil anything.

    In very short: It’s as good as you hoped it would be. It’s also something quite unique and well worth a read even if UF isn’t normally your thing.

  9. I value my garden more for being full of blackbirds than of cherries, and very frankly give them fruit for their songs. -Joseph Addison, essayist and poet (1672-1719)

    This was today’s quote on A.Word.A.Day and I had to share it with you.

  10. Darn it Chuck. Babies and herpy guns? Come on, why don’t you say you’re really Chuck Norris (you do look a little similiar to him), and you will force us to sit in a chair against our will with the fist inside your beard so we can watch “Batman & Robin” repeatedy while yor at it? Ooo. Gives me chills up my spine Chuck, whatever your last name might be.

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