Apple-Obsessed Author Fella

Penmonkey Status Report

Okay, first thing out of the gate is —


If I could bedazzle that, make it pulse, blink, throw in a bunch of interrobangs, have the letters get up and work-it work-it on the stripper pole, Sweet Molly McGoggins, I would. Because it’s a helluva cover.

I’m a lucky dude with a cover like that.

Miriam Black, realized.

Oh so many tiny images contained within that one. Beautiful. Beautiful!

And a cover like that is thanks to the Mighty Artification Powers of Joey Hi-Fi, who also did the award-winning cover to Lauren Beukes’ ZOO CITY (a book if you haven’t read, you need to correct ASAMFP).

Bow down to him.

Thanks to the mighty bibliomantium overlords at Angry Robot for making such a killer cover happen.

Writing Advice Snidbit

Right quick, I posted this on the Twittertubes and the Google-Doubleplusgoods yesterday, and so I thought I’d just pop it up here as a tiny li’l snidbit of dubious writing wisdom:

When writing a 1st draft, duck your head low and bolt for the finish line. Don’t stop. Don’t blink. Follow the map far as it takes you.

Know that the book will be born during rewrites. When you break its carapace and find the true beast beneath the old ruined skin.

It’s okay when your map, the plan, the outline, fails you. That’s good. Sometimes roads are closed for a reason. Don’t freeze. Keep writing.

Remember: slow and steady wins the race when rocking that first draft. Even 1k a day gets you your draft in under three months.

Also, something-something-porn-whiskey-dopamine-killyourdarlings-cthulhu-fthnagn-poop-noise. Now shut up and write.

Do with that as thou wilt. Share! Discuss! Debate! Dispute!

Allonsy, Alonzo!

Why I Write

LA Gilman pointed out that today is, apparently, the National Day Of Writing, and so you can head over to Twitter and use the hashtag #whyiwrite to, well, describe why you write.

For me, it’s simple:

Writing is how I tell stories, and telling stories is how I communicate myself to the world. I am my stories and my stories are me and just as civilizations used mythology to explain themselves and their world, I use storytelling and writing to explain myself and my world, and transmit that idea via the penmonkey frequency to all who care to intercept it. That is, of course, the philosophical side.

The practical side is, Mommy gets a what-what and needs money, and writing is how I get that money. Sorry to crass it up with commerce, but trust me, writing is a pretty fangasmic way of earning a living.

Hop over to Twitter or tell us in the comments:

Why do you write?

Penmonkey Incitement Level Up Ding!

Holy crap, the Penmonkey Incitement is up to 442/1000 copies of COAFPM sold.

Which means we crossed the 400 mark.

Which means I need to give away:

Another postcard.

Another t-shirt.

Another penmonkey critique of someone’s writing.

It also means that after another 58 sales, I’m going to give away a Kindle.

I’m going to wait until tomorrow morning, at this time (9AM EST) to pick the winners, thus giving you folks a chance to get your names into the hat if you haven’t already. Diggit?

So, to those who have procured the book via PDF: you don’t need to do anything.

Those who have procured it via Amazon or B&N, well, you need to make sure I know about it. Send me proof of purchase to terribleminds at gmail dot com.

Also be advised that buying CONFESSIONS or REVENGE OF THE PENMONKEY during the month of October also earns you a free copy of 250 THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT WRITING. Again, though, if you bought via Amazon or B&N, you need to contact me at the above email address to make sure I know you bought it. I ain’t psychic.

Ch-Chak, Boom! Shotgun Gravy Has Arrived

I’m sure you noticed this, but SHOTGUN GRAVY arrived on Amazon, B&N, and here at terribleminds.

As of this moment, I’ve crossed the 100 sales mark, which is where I hoped to be. The first day was a little tepid but I think that’s because it was a Friday (and a Friday in which a new iPhone dropped — hell, half the day I was trying to get mine activated, so I get it). I’ve gotten emails and tweets from people who seem to not just like it, but really love it, which is overwhelmingly awesome. The story means a lot to me and I hope people take a chance on it.

If it sells steadily, I’d say BAIT DOG is a good bet for December-ish.

If sales hit the wall — well, who knows?

If you find my promos of SHOTGUN GRAVY ever get too loud (they will die back soon enough, I assure you), please poke me in the ribs and politely ask that I cool it down. It’s hard being a self-published author in particular because you’re forced to be a one-man-marketing-machine, and the line between “Helpful Advertising!” and “Annoying Spamfuck!” gets real blurry, real quick-like.

Obviously if you liked the book, please do leave a review and share with your friends how much you dug it.

Inner Views And Udder Links

Hey, look, ma, you can hear my voice at various places!

First up: The Mighty Maven Of Word-Making, Mur “The Murder” Lafferty interviews me over at her podcast, ISBW (I Should Be Writing). Check it out riiiiight here.

Second up: Sexy svelte storyteller extraordinaire J.C. “The Rabbit Hutch” Hutchins has me visit at his site where we dig into some transmedia chatter. Check that out at this underlined linky-thing.

If you have not read the first chapter of DOUBLE DEAD, then you will note that Flames Rising has posted that very thing. Want to preorder? Go right ahead. Coburn is coming.

I’ve got a story in THE NEW HERO (Vol I), featuring a thug enforcer for the quite-literal Underworld, Mookie “The Meatman” Pearl. Robin Laws edited, and Gene Ha did the cover:

…and if you look at the bottom row and see a big dude with a meat cleaver, that’s Mookie. It’s a story I’m really proud of and was a fuuuhuuuhuuuuuckin’ hoot to write. Hopefully the same to read.

I know, right? Two awesome covers in one day.

My khakis, they are shellacked.