So, as this week is my son’s 5th birthday, I thought it would be fun to take some of the completely random shit that spills out of his head and use that as the basis for a flash fiction challenge. Below you’ll find a list of quotes from my son.
Select one (or several, I don’t care) quotation and use it inside a piece of flash fiction.
Length: 1000 words-ish
Due by: Friday, May 27th, noon EST
Post at your online space. Link back in the comments.
“Can I put goggles on the dog?”
“There is a three-headed flying werewolf in that tree.”
“I can cut down a thousand trees with my teeth.”
“I will defeat it with Kitten Magic.”
“I will slice you into beef!”
“I can still see without a face.”
“You guys don’t make good choices.”
“They said it was a legend, but I know it’s real.”
“I’m gonna ride you like a turkey.”
“I am queen of the goats.”
66 responses to “Flash Fiction Challenge: Kids Say The Darnderniest Things”
I lost it by the end. Keep an eye on that kid.
There you go…
Oh duh, I found the reply button after I’d left a comment. But leaving a comment is better, no? Fell a little bit in love with Draku 🙂
I did too… but I found that when I wrote it – at around 1am – I just posted it and went to bed.
the next day, I reread it and cried my eyes out… what a sad demise for a such a lovely creature I had created. 🙁
LOL That is a hard list to choose from
I got all of them into one story LOL
No fair, setting the standard so high like that! Chuckled at the ending 😀
[…] words today for chapter eleven of Mental State. Prompts from Chuck Wendig, Inspiration Monday, Three Word Wednesday and Sunday Scribblings […]
I went with “You guys don’t make good choices.” http://wp.me/s4le2s-alone
Very good. I liked that we could see his viewpoint as well as others – and yet nobody would give him a chance no matter how he tried; even when he didn’t.
QUEEN OF THE GOATS. I am taking it and running with it. (I am also two chapters from the end of the WIP with a three-day weekend, so I am going to buckle down and work on the big thing first, and hold out for QUEEN OF THE GOATS as a shiny finishing prize.)
I feel as though I must QUEEN OF GOATS as well. Because holy wow is that awesome.
Here’s mine. It’s not a masterpiece, but it’s the best I could do in a day:
“Poor frightened rabbit” was deliciously creepy … if a bit chilling for a girl called Bunny ;P
Are all four year olds that hilarious? Solid gold. Bonus point to someone who uses all the quotes in a single story!
I managed to get them all in there. . . course I had to use insanity as a dues ex machina but. . .I like it
Not for the challenge, but I’m gonna write something short story length using all these. This will be fun and an interesting challenge.
I loved your last blog, about B-Dubs quotes and voila, today my fav quote appeared in your list! I’m choosing the quote: “I will defeat it with kitten magic”. So, here’s the link to “Kitten Magic”. http://wp.me/p6LAko-HT
Perfect & you picked a black cat, OK kitten, for illustration 🙂
I went with: “They said it was a legend, but I know it’s real.”
This is only the second piece of flash fiction I’ve written since having major back surgery a couple of months ago. I was in the pain pill fog and when I came out I had the hardest time finding my muse again. Thank you for the inspiration!
Loved it! I chose the same line and turned it into something to do with Fire Drakes.
I loved your story too!
It’s funny, I wrote mine at around midnight and didn’t think anything of it as I posted and went to bed. The next morning, I read it and cried my eyes out… wondering how I didn’t do that while I wrote it.
You ought to watch out for that “Queen of goats” stuff. Once he starts babbling about “a thousand young” etc., it might not be a good idea to examine much further … without professional help.
Of an exorcist.
Btw. love your blog, even the “kids stuff”!
That kid’s a genius.
Here’s mine: “Goggles on the Dog”
I am the queen of the goats.
Also? I made a quiz so you can find out what your job would be. And I think I broke my scarcastimeter. It’s going to be super helpful while doing promotion stuff and working on editing today. Fantastic.
Great voice. Loved the determination joke.
Thanks! It was a hard voice to get out of. I had to go for a 5 mile walk up hill (just one way) to clear it out of my brain.
Good job. Reminds me of every standardized test I took.
I looked up a couple and went OH yeah, I do remember these. 🙂
I send healing vibes to your sarcastimeter, so I can read more of its outings.
I saw this list and the story came to me at once, but my goal was to include all of the quotes, and I managed to get all of them in but one. My own kids have been clamoring for me to write a children’s story and I think they’ll enjoy this one. I hope you do, too.
Great job. The quotes didn’t feel forced, and I loved the subtleties like the double aa’s in the goat names.
Thanks! It was a lot of fun to write.
Awesome way to celebrate a Birthday!
I went with “I will slice you into beef” Enjoy.
“There is a three-headed flying werewolf in that tree.” That one got me going. Wrote it in half an hour =o It’s very “folk tale” style. Here it is: http://geocities.ws/rachsarchives/23052016.html
Great tone throughout!
Thank you, dcxli!
My take on the slicing of beef.
As always, feedback is not only welcomed, but encouraged.
Yours is brilliant, I really enjoyed it!
LOL your son is fantastic. I think you’re raising him awesomely, Chuck. This is going to be a helluva fun flash fiction 😀
[…] week’s flash fiction challenge for Chuck Wendig’s blog was to write a story that used one or more quotes from his 5 year old son. The list of possible […]
Chuck, Are you sure this isn’t a list of things reference librarians hear patrons say every week? Sounds like most public libraries to me. Or maybe I’m dooming your kid to a lifetime as a public servant?
[…] response to this week’s challenge over at terribleminds. A couple of odd old characters that I decided to dust off, along with a setting that probably […]
“You guys don’t make good choices.” Which made me dust off two characters of mine that tend to make the worst choices for the best reasons. And doubled as a birthday present for a good friend. Thanks Chuck!
[…] http://terribleminds.com/ramble/2016/05/20/flash-fiction-challenge-kids-say-the-darnderniest-things/ […]
https://itsthesedamnkids.wordpress.com/2016/05/25/the-giants-laugh/ Well, I didn’t manage all of them.
“I will slice you into beef!”
I’ve had this idea churning around in my mind for a few month. So glad I got to play with it.
Starting late, but I’m going to be using Kitten Magic!
This was difficult, because all the sentences were so great!
I found that “You guys don’t make good choices” kept nagging at me, and I realized why: it was the perfect prompt to continue the superhero story I wrote last week, so I did. This week it moves to an action scene.
Here’s “Costly Recovery”:
It did, perfectly. I’ve been reading back and enjoying every moment, thank you.
I got all the quotes (except for one) into the story, and written it all in dialogue. The result is a bit messy: https://angel011.wordpress.com/2016/05/26/flash-fiction-challenge-mr-werewolfs-cubs/
For my first flash fiction attempt, I picked the three-headed flying werewolf:
I only took 2: “I am the queen of the goats” and “I can cut down a thousand trees with my teeth.” I ALMOST put in the “You guys don’t make good choices” but it felt way too forced — I’d like to think it’s implied.
Thanks for this, sir! I will happily take up any opportunity to write in my world of crazy magical realism and slightly sideways humor…
Really, really funny. Oh how I wish I could do humour …
Thanks so much!!!
Just under the wire, the 3-headed werewolf thing.
It’s 2:00 AM and I’m not at all sure this one landed, but it was a great deal of fun to right a waaay less than omniscient POV character.
Did I really spell it “right”? Geez. It was late. *facepalm*
[…] This week’s challenge from the Terrible Minds blog — called Kids Say the Darndiest Things — is based on “some of the completely random shit that spills out” of the head of Chuck Wendig’s 5-year-old son. We’re to choose a quote and use it in a story. My selection — “I will defeat it with kitten magic.” […]
Oops, 10 minutes over the deadline. Whether or not this comment gets approved, the story was fun to write. “I Will Defeat Them with Kitten Magic.” Starts off like this: Once upon a time, in the land of Ufora, everybody was happy all of the time. Or at least that’s what they said …
Oops, forgot the link: https://lotterymeals.wordpress.com/2016/05/27/i-will-defeat-it-with-kitten-magic/