Flash Fiction Challenge: Kids Say The Darnderniest Things

So, as this week is my son’s 5th birthday, I thought it would be fun to take some of the completely random shit that spills out of his head and use that as the basis for a flash fiction challenge. Below you’ll find a list of quotes from my son.

Select one (or several, I don’t care) quotation and use it inside a piece of flash fiction.

Length: 1000 words-ish

Due by: Friday, May 27th, noon EST

Post at your online space. Link back in the comments.

The quotes:

“Can I put goggles on the dog?”

“There is a three-headed flying werewolf in that tree.”

“I can cut down a thousand trees with my teeth.”

“I will defeat it with Kitten Magic.”

“I will slice you into beef!”

“I can still see without a face.”

“You guys don’t make good choices.”

“They said it was a legend, but I know it’s real.”

“I’m gonna ride you like a turkey.”

“I am queen of the goats.”

66 responses to “Flash Fiction Challenge: Kids Say The Darnderniest Things”

      • I did too… but I found that when I wrote it – at around 1am – I just posted it and went to bed.

        the next day, I reread it and cried my eyes out… what a sad demise for a such a lovely creature I had created. 🙁

  1. QUEEN OF THE GOATS. I am taking it and running with it. (I am also two chapters from the end of the WIP with a three-day weekend, so I am going to buckle down and work on the big thing first, and hold out for QUEEN OF THE GOATS as a shiny finishing prize.)

  2. Are all four year olds that hilarious? Solid gold. Bonus point to someone who uses all the quotes in a single story!

  3. You ought to watch out for that “Queen of goats” stuff. Once he starts babbling about “a thousand young” etc., it might not be a good idea to examine much further … without professional help.
    Of an exorcist.
    Of sorts.

    Btw. love your blog, even the “kids stuff”!

  4. Chuck, Are you sure this isn’t a list of things reference librarians hear patrons say every week? Sounds like most public libraries to me. Or maybe I’m dooming your kid to a lifetime as a public servant?

  5. […] This week’s challenge from the Terrible Minds blog — called Kids Say the Darndiest Things — is based on “some of the completely random shit that spills out” of the head of Chuck Wendig’s 5-year-old son. We’re to choose a quote and use it in a story. My selection — “I will defeat it with kitten magic.” […]

  6. Oops, 10 minutes over the deadline. Whether or not this comment gets approved, the story was fun to write. “I Will Defeat Them with Kitten Magic.” Starts off like this: Once upon a time, in the land of Ufora, everybody was happy all of the time. Or at least that’s what they said …

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