Tell Me Everything You Can About Traveling To Australia

As you may know, in October I shall bore a hole through the center of the Earth and I will emerge like a gopher in the city of Brisbane, Australia —

*receives a note*

Ah, apparently I will instead of taking something called a “plane.”

Whatever. I’m getting there somehow.

And, once there, I will be a guest of honor at the wonderful-sounding GenreCon.

I do not yet know the full dates for travel yet.

But I’m pondering exactly how I should handle this trip. Like, should I try to do a small tour of Australia? Even if it’s a one-bookstore pit-stop?

Should I just wander amok? I can’t be gone too long, lest I leave my wife alone with the Wolverine Tornado that is our darling toddler, B-Dub, King Adorbz of Adorbzville.

The subject header tells all — anybody who is in Australia or who has been there should tell me everything you know about it. Open your brain with this hammer. Spill out all knowledge so that I may sup on it. Jet lag! Phone! Food! Travel within the country! Things to do! Things to see! Things to avoid! Drop bears! Hell-spiders! Venomous sommeliers and toxin-producing travel agents! Koala plagues! Slang terms! Beer! Also, beer! Bookstores! Publishers! WHATEVER HELP IT’S LIKE AN ALIEN LAND THAT LOOKS LIKE AMERICA BUT IS ACTUALLY BIZARRO-AMERICA.

Thanks in advance!

(Oh, and the “crowdsourcing essentials” posts will be back next week — I’ve got a very awesome helper tallying up the lists so I’ll have some reporting to do.)