The Albee Agency Deception

It sounds like a really horrible Dan Brown knockoff.

It ain’t.

It’s some kind of book publicity site — er, scam.

Because I didn’t give that testimonial.

Nor did, as I understand it, any of the authors there.

My testimonial would’ve included more profanity. And a video of me seductively stroking my beard.

So, just a head’s up.

Scam. Avoid. Awooga, awooga.

 

28 comments

  • Christopher Wright

    December 6, 2012 at 3:43 PM // Reply

    Hm. I hadn’t considered simply putting words in your mouth to promote my stuff. Brilliant! Well, except for the part where it’s monumentally stupid, but I’m sure I find a way to work around that.

  • Anthony Elmore

    December 6, 2012 at 4:45 PM // Reply

    Sure that isn’t an mirror world Chuck Wendig who did use their service? Maybe the mirror world internet jumped tracks and your expletive free, beardless anti-Wendig wrote that?

  • mark matthews

    December 6, 2012 at 10:58 PM // Reply

    I was really really angry at this. I wanted to plaster message boards everywhere and curse their names, i wanted to tweet everyone who had tweeted them and unveil their true nature, I wanted to break into their house tonight and piss on their toothbrushes. Then I spoke with my inner therapist and asked why I was so angry, and we had a nice sit down. I’m all better now.

  • The Albee Alibi

    December 7, 2012 at 3:33 PM // Reply

    Hello out there assholes. We here are a fine organization that will help your book soar. Just pay us 500$ and we’ll get started (note, for an additional $1000 we’ll actually get finished). Here are some fine words of praise:

    “Is it bad one of my testacles is bigger than the other?” -Darth Vader

    “Here at the Albee Agency, I learned how to see Russia from my house.” -Sarah Palin

    “Thanks to the Albee Agency, I can now lift a dumbell over my head” -John McCain

    “I don’t always visit the Albee Agency, but when I do, I always come back empty-handed” -some random Puerto Rican

    “The Albee Agency can count to Potatoe” -Joseph Stalin

    “Do you want fries with that?” -Creg from McDonalds

    “Hold my pants” -some random hobo in front of Arbee’s

  • Thom Marrion

    December 7, 2012 at 5:42 PM // Reply

    They could have at least thrown in a dick joke or something for your fake testimonial. Honestly, it’s like they wanted to get caught.

  • Lockhart 11

    December 7, 2012 at 10:03 PM // Reply

    I am a landscaper/writer/father/mediavictimlikeeveryoneelse and I would like to say your greatest power is in your written word. Most of us consider that testimonials to be bunch of caca anyway. I haven’t even read your books yet (I request books from the library), but they are coming. Big smile and thanks and happy anticipation.

  • Susan Spann

    December 8, 2012 at 6:57 PM // Reply

    You know, Chuck, when I read about this on Writer Beware my FIRST thought was actually, “That can’t be Wendig. There aren’t enough four-letter words.” I didn’t honestly think you’d drop an F-bomb on a third-party website (though it WOULD tell us you were actually involved…) but the words were too pale and pasty to be yours.

    The testimonial read like something written by a bad PR agency.

    Oh.

    Wait…

  • Imelda Evans

    December 8, 2012 at 11:54 PM // Reply

    As I said on the Twitters, it doesn’t say much for their sense that they chose Chuck, king of the interwebs and favourite of writers on same (who are their market) to fake a testimonial from. Seriously, how did they think they were going to get away with it? You’d think that at least they’d choose some famously reclusive and internet-averse writing type. If that’s the best they can do… (shakes head at idiocy)

    Oh, like the new look, btw!

  • Thomas Delano

    December 9, 2012 at 1:28 AM // Reply

    Their testimonials section has now been replaced with a ‘Media Reach’, in which they list major TV shows, radio programs, and presses, confirming that the Albee Agency is capable of more than two Google searches.