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Why Your Novel Won’t Get Published
You gotta maximize your chances of putting a kick-ass book into the ecosystem where it bites, kicks, shivs and garrotes any other novel that gets in its way. One way to do that is to identify the many pitfalls that await you, your book, and its goat.
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An Era Of Ugliness And Uncertainty
Who knows? I’m just one duck quacking into the void. It’s a fucked-up time in America, and I just think the best way through the darkness is to once more put our foot on the neck of ignorance and make it — not “conservative” or “liberal” — the dirty word.
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Macaroni + Cheese + Sausage = You Building Temples To Me And My Glory
I thought, “Mmm, macaroni and cheese.” I have a recipe I use, and lo, it is good. But then I thought, “What would make this recipe double-awesome? What would make this recipe do keg-stands on my taste-buds? Sausage.”
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The True Cost Of Today’s Price?
So, this is just a random coagulation of thoughts about price (and cost). These thoughts are not from an expert. They are from my addlepated monkey’s brain. They make no conclusions. I’m just as confused as the next chimp down the line. Here goes.
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Why Are Dead Birds Falling From The Sky? (Hint: It’s Totally My Fault)
It is not coincidental that the name of my book is BLACKBIRDS and that many of the dead birds are also blackbirds (or, at least, birds that happen to be black of feather). Why is that, you ask? I’m totally the guy killing all those birds. I’m really glad to have that off my chest.
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Drop The Pen, Grab A Hammer: Building The Writer’s Platform
When someone says “writer’s platform,” I cannot help but grind my molars together until I hear the crinkly, crunchy snap as my enamel cracks like punched glass. Still. As a buzzword, it’s got legs. And in the bullshit of the buzzword, truth lingers. Let us tease it out with a tickle.