Last week’s challenge: “Super-Ultra-Mega Game of Aspects.”

I’m kind of in love with this random sentence generator.

You are going to love it too.

I SAID YOU ARE GOING TO LOVE IT TOO

*points crossbow at your face*

Ahem.

Seriously, it creates a kind of… insane poetry.

So —

Go click the link to the random sentence generator.

Get a random sentence.

It’s okay if you have to reclick a few times.

Let’s say, upwards of ten reclicks.

Choose one of those ten sentences.

And use that sentence in a piece of flash fiction up to 1000 words long. See? Super easy.

Let us know what your sentence is before you write because, hey, it’s fun.

You’ve got one week, as usual. Finish your tale by Friday, March 15th, at noon EST. Publish at your online space and link back here so we can all check it out. Dig? Dug.

Get writing, word-nerds.

And so, I give you, a glorious pair of covers.

Gods & Monsters: Unclean Spirits is out 5/2.

The Blue Blazes drops 5/28.

Not that I want to play favorites but, c’mon, The Blue Blazes cover is by the inimitable Joey Hi-fi, who did the covers to Blackbirds and Mockingbird! Once again I won the cover lottery here. The Founding Fields also has a brief Q&A with me about the book and the cover.

The (also awesome) cover of Gods & Monsters is by Clint Langley!

Both are available for pre-order now.

Gods & Monsters is about how the gods of all the pantheons have been exiled to earth, and how one man seeks his vengeance for the ills they’ve laid upon him and his family. (Features: Aphrodite! The Throne of Heaven! Coyote’s Penis! Cernunnos! And so much more!)

The Blue Blazes is about the one man standing at the intersection between the criminal Underworld and the mythic, monster-filled Underworld and what happens when his own daughter rises up to oppose him. (Features: Goblins! Golems! Snakefaces! Worm-Gods! Goat-Men! Sandhogs! Roller Derby Girl Gangs! Charcuterie! All underneath the island of Manhattan!)

Hope you like the covers.

(click them to see full-size)

Sometimes, game designers get crazy and jump the fence of their respective gamer paddocks and they run off to a distant meadow to write a novel. Or, if you’re like some of us, to write ALL THE NOVELS (I’m looking at you, Matt Forbeck). Anyway! Point is, you’ve got three whole days to hop on over and check out a little thing called The Bundle of Holding.

This bundle — in the vein of other bundled things like the Humble Indie Bundle or Storybundle — is a collection of novels and other stories, in this case all written by storytellers who have also designed games. You’ll find the tales of Allen Varney, Mur Lafferty, Matt Forbeck, and more.

Oh, and you’ll find me in there, too.

Therein lurks my short story collection, Irregular Creatures.

Like with the other bundles, you can name your price.

And a portion (that you choose) goes to charity, as well.

So: do check out the Bundle of Holding.

Three more days to get ten books at a price you choose with charity on the mix.

And now here, mighty Mister Jernigan would like to talk about his new novel, No Return, which features ghosts and gods and space magic. Behold: ten answers to ten questions…

TELL US ABOUT YOURSELF: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?

The hell who I am is Zachary Jernigan! I’m the author of the aggressively science-fantastical novel, No Return, and some dozen or so published short stories that all fall within the sff genre.

I live in Arizona, which is a wonderful place to be weather-wise and a horrible place to be if you’re a greenie and a socialist, which I am. I’m also an outspoken critic of religion—a fact that causes a degree of tension in my life, as many of the people I most love and admire in life are religious folk.

I use a lot of exclamation points in my personal correspondence, but very few in my fiction.

GIVE US THE 140-CHARACTER STORY PITCH:

No Return is a violent, erotic novel of religious war featuring metal men, fighters in skintight battle suits, and alchemical astronauts.

WHERE DOES THIS STORY COME FROM?

A decade and a half of reading—and being obsessed with—authors such as Roger Zelazny, Cordwainer Smith, Alice Sheldon, Samuel Delany, Sean Stewart, Phyllis Gotlieb, Steven Brust, Iain M. Banks, and Joanna Russ.

Oh, and a greasy heap of jealousy sprinkled with depression and spite!

HOW IS THIS A STORY ONLY YOU COULD’VE WRITTEN?

Ooh, that’s good question, difficult to answer.

I think the reason this story could’ve only come from me is that only I’m obsessed with this kind of stuff, in this particular way, in the first place.

A little explanation might be required.

You see, I was raised Mormon. Though I decided I was no longer a member at around the age of 20, I still have these conflicted feelings as a result of my upbringing (which, by the way, was very enjoyable, full of love and support). Mostly, I feel guilty about relatively small things reason says I shouldn’t feel guilty about. My character, Vedas, has similarly conflicted feelings about the way he’s conducted himself, though I’d like to think his guilt is a little more justified. Other characters struggle with such feelings, too. Moral quandaries are a big part of No Return.

Also, thanks to years of religious conditioning, I’m rather obsessed with the idea of immortality and perfection. I feel sad that I won’t live forever or reach a state of physical perfection and changelessness. I long for such a state, though I know it’d be healthier not to. Adrash, the character in whose perspective the book opens and closes, basically represents this longing.

I’ve told people before that No Return was kind of an exorcism for me, and this continues to ring true.

WHAT WAS THE HARDEST THING ABOUT WRITING NO RETURN?

Oh, good grief. My standard answer is everything, but that seems like a copout, so…

The first draft.

No, seriously. The editing was cake compared to that first go. Every day of writing was torture that I avoided like, well, torture.

WHAT DID YOU LEARN WRITING NO RETURN?

I’m not as weak or as unmotivated as I thought I was.

Honestly, I never thought I could write a novel. When I first started reading sff literature in my teens, I remember thinking that if someone destroyed the second half of whatever book I was reading and asked me to write the rest, it would be literally impossible to even approach an ending that made sense.

Even after I wrote an outline and told everyone I was going to write No Return (some 15 years later), I still had no confidence I’d actually do it. In fact, I tried to justify quitting every day for the first month or so, and then at least weekly for the next couple months. Only when I reached the halfway point did I really think I might finish it.

I’m glad I’m not as weak or as unmotivated as I feared. Still, the most important fact for me to understand about accomplishment is this: it’s never just me. I wouldn’t have completed anything without the support of others—family and friends who understood this cantankerous guy and wouldn’t let him fall into (too much) despair.

WHAT DO YOU LOVE ABOUT NO RETURN?

The fact that it’s basically a collection of (hopefully mature) character studies that still manages to include all the spacey, super-powered, violent, sexy stuff that originally drew me into the genre.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO DIFFERENTLY NEXT TIME?

I’d hire a ghostwriter. John Scalzi, maybe.

GIVE US YOUR FAVORITE PARAGRAPH FROM THE STORY:

It was said a man could stand at the edge of the highest step and stare down at the glass-smooth face of the cliff, counting the geological layers of the world. It was also said a man must be careful at the edge, for sudden gusts could take hold of him and carry him far out over the ocean. Capricious, the demon winds sometimes returned him unharmed, but most often spun him in the sky, toying with him as a child does a rag doll. Bored, eventually the wind dropped him into the ocean or dashed his body against the wall.

WHAT’S NEXT FOR YOU AS A STORYTELLER?

Well, one of these days I’d like to get started on the sequel to No Return. A second volume isn’t strictly necessary—the first is a pretty self-enclosed narrative, I think—but it would do a lot to answer questions I hope readers are curious enough to ask.

I also have another novel in the works, an intensely violent, post-steampunk, Joanna-Russ-on-steroids story. (Y’know, one of those.)

Anyway, thanks so much, Chuck! I appreciate you hosting me on terribleminds!

Zachary Jernigan: Website

No Return: Amazon / B&N / Indiebound

@JerniganZachary

Be advised, Internets: Emma Newman is going to rule the world someday. She’s going to rule it from a comfy chair in a lovely library inside her sinister volcano lair. She’s the real deal, and you should be paying a lot of attention. Her new book, Between Two Thorns, is out with Angry Robot Books, and now it’s time to be fixed to the earth with her stare as she tells you about it.

TELL US ABOUT YOURSELF: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?

I’m a writer, a role-player, a gamer, a dyed-in-the-wool geek and I love making clothes and costumes. I am also scared of everything. Everything. Apart from tea. I can handle that.

GIVE US THE 140-CHARACTER STORY PITCH:

Urban fantasy – and a dash of noir – with feuding dynastic families, supernatural patrons, mad sorcerers, evil faeries and nice cups of tea.

WHERE DOES THIS STORY COME FROM?

It grew from a flash fiction I wrote three years ago about the shopkeeper of “The Emporium of Things in Between and Besides” having to deal with an innocent woman accidentally receiving delivery of a faerie in a bell jar. That turned into a weekly flash fiction serial which I wrote for several months before I realised I was actually building the world for a series of novels.

The Shopkeeper and the Emporium survived from the original stories and both feature in “Between Two Thorns.”

Like every single thing I’ve ever written – and I would imagine all other authors – it’s the latest batch of mushrooms that have grown out of the compost. That’s made up of all the experiences I’ve had and the stories I’ve read, dreamed, watched, hoped for and loved. Actually, I hate mushrooms, but hopefully you get the idea.

HOW IS THIS A STORY ONLY YOU COULD’VE WRITTEN?

Well, it certainly couldn’t have been written by someone who loves cute fairies and Tinkerbell and that kind of thing. The Fae in the Split Worlds stories are forces of nature and scary as hell.

I think this is a story I could only have written at this time in my life too. I’ve got angry about a lot of things over the past few years and some of that rage went into this world and the stories bound within it.

WHAT WAS THE HARDEST THING ABOUT WRITING BETWEEN TWO THORNS?

Lots of things were challenging, but balancing power between the different factions was one of the hardest. I put a great deal of time and thought into working out how the sorcerers do their thing and how Fae magic – and the Charms derived from their magic – works. The Split Worlds have several powerful groups of people controlling differing aspects and therefore have a direct impact upon the main characters in the novel. Making people who are incredibly powerful able to be plausibly threatened by each other and have their power checked and balanced by their opposition was a critical thing to figure out for the whole series.

There are hierarchies of power within these factions too, of course. I needed to make sure my primary characters could be plausibly threatened but not implausibly hopeless in a world where they have access to magic and sorcerous artefacts.

WHAT DID YOU LEARN WRITING THE BOOK?

I learned a lot about writing a lead female character and how difficult it is to strike a balance between having her fall foul of powerful forces yet maintain agency throughout the novel. There are people actively manipulating her life, restricting her freedom and causing her a great deal of stress and misery. I wanted her to be strong in the face of adversity but I didn’t want to shy away from having her be vulnerable. I also didn’t want to just give her a weapon and have her be tough in a traditionally masculine way – not that it would have worked in the setting anyway! I guess what I’m saying here is that writing Cathy made me think a lot about plausible strong characters, whether they are female or not.

WHAT DO YOU LOVE ABOUT THE BOOK?

I was going to say the Fae, because they are just so deliciously horrible. But I think it’s the characters. I’ve spent a huge amount of time with them in my head and I still want to know what’s going to happen to them. I worry about them. I feel bad for them. I’m also a bit insane, evidently.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO DIFFERENTLY NEXT TIME?

I wouldn’t commit to writing a short story every week for a year and a day whilst writing, editing and now promoting the series!

Saying that, I’m so glad I have. Now it’s coming to the end of that year and a day, with over fifty stories set in the Split Worlds I feel like I’ve created a lot of world for people to enjoy. That’s what it’s all about for me, as a writer and as a GM.

As for anything I’d do differently with the book itself… you know what? I’m happy that I’ve written the best book I could. No doubt I could edit it *again* if I looked at it in a month or two but I think that’s our curse as writers.

GIVE US YOUR FAVORITE PARAGRAPH FROM THE STORY:

As the paragraph is dialogue, I’m going to put in the line before to give it a little bit of context. Lord Poppy is the Fae patron of Cathy’s family and has just found her years after she ran away from a life of privilege and immortality to live in Mundanus – the normal world we live in.

“I’m so glad you understand, Lord Poppy,” she managed a smile.

“As am I! I arrived with a heavy heart, convinced that I was going to have to turn your tongue into a tethered wasp and then enslave you for eternity for having been so disloyal to your family.” He paused as the colour sank away from her lips. “But now I don’t have to, because I understand that it was love that drove you, and how can I deny love? And it really is such a relief, as it would have been so inconvenient, everything has been arranged for so long I was struggling to imagine how I would recover.”

WHAT’S NEXT FOR YOU AS A STORYTELLER?

I’m currently beating the rough lump that is the third book of the series into something more like steel than pig iron. After that I have a stand-alone novel that is completely different to the Split Worlds banging on the inside of my skull. That needs to be written, and there’s another project I have to be annoying and mysterious about. Sorry about that. Once those are out of the way I have ideas for two more series’ of books, so I think I’m going to be busy for a while yet.

Emma Newman: Website

Between Two Thorns: Amazon US / Amazon UK / B&N / Book Depository / Angry Robot

@EmApocalyptic

I’ll be heading down to America’s dangling land-wang — AKA “Florida” — soon to do some research. (No dates yet but assume in the next 60 days.) My goal is to hit up Miami and the Keys and surrounding environs (as a goodly portion of the next Miriam Black book will be set there.)

That said, a question:

I’ve been noodling doing a book signing down there but it doesn’t quite look like that’ll work out in terms of timing with the various bookstore options (all of whom were very nice in dealing with me)– but, I did wonder if I arranged some kind of Ninja Book Signing / Hangout / Kaffeeklatsch / Boozefest / Q&A, if there’d be any interest at all from folks in that region.

So, I’m asking:

Any interest?