Category: The Ramble

  • Drop The Pen, Grab A Hammer: Building The Writer’s Platform

    When someone says “writer’s platform,” I cannot help but grind my molars together until I hear the crinkly, crunchy snap as my enamel cracks like punched glass. Still. As a buzzword, it’s got legs. And in the bullshit of the buzzword, truth lingers. Let us tease it out with a tickle.

  • You Are Now Entering The Month Of “What Now?”

    There it is. The book. A brick. A big block of words and dead trees, or a garish white screen of 1s and 0s comprising your asstastic prose. Your gut sinks. Palms sweat. This thing? It might as well be a football helmet filled with diarrhea. It’s got nothing of value to offer to the world. It’s a tangled briar of gibberish.

  • Auld Lang Search Term Bingo

    You know what time it is. It’s time to dip my ladle into the river of depravity, a river that draws miscreants and deviants to the shores of terribleminds, as ineluctable as the tides, as certain as my utter pantslessness. It’s for time for — *crash of thunder* *keening violin* *braying donkey* SEARCH TERM BINGO.

  • Welcome To The Bourbon School Of Bourbon

    But one drinky-drink I’m not well-versed in is bourbon. Few times I’ve had it in the past I found it to be a lot harsher than Scotch — instead of smooth and warm we’re talking razors boiled in distilled water — but that tells me I’m just not drinking the right stuff.

  • Top 20 Terribleminds Posts Of 2010

    Purely out of sheer amusement, I decided to compile the Top 20 posts of the year here at jolly ol’ terribleminds. Now, to be clear, between my three sources of reporting (WP_Stats, Google Analytics, CyStats), I get pretty wildly different numbers as to hits and views and what-not, but overall they seem to agree that these are the most viewed over the course of the last 365 days.

  • Shotguns Roaring, Pans Clanging: New Year’s Eve Traditions

    On New Year’s Eve, our way into the new year was with a whole lot of clamor and clatter. My Dad would, as was his way, fire off weapons. A shotgun in specific. As many pulls of the trigger as the coming year demanded, I suppose. CHOOM CHOOM CHOOM.