I received a helpful — sorry, “helpful” — email that asked me to, and I quote, “get back to the writing advice, please.” The core idea of the email being that I’m spending too much time on the blog talking about other things (cough cough the bread and circuses of politics) and not enough time on talking to you about characters and commas and how to defeat the bleak unrelenting despair of being a creative human being.
Or, put differently, I am a monkey doing the wrong monkey dance.
So, though I’ve responded to this sort of thing before, I thought I’d take another moment to discuss this request and provide my response to it.
First, this blog is not a writing blog. It’s not any kind of a blog. It’s just a blog, which is to say, it’s a platform for me to squawk and gibber into the void. Further, like with most blogs, it’s free to you — though, be advised, it costs me a pretty penny to run. Free to you, not to me. Now, my books? They’re the opposite. Those are free for me to write, relatively, and cost you. Which is why my books are for you, and my blog is for me.
Second, I am presently wrapping up the writing of a new book (current title which is likely to change: DAMN GOOD STORY). It’s a crunchier, meatier book on storytelling than what you’d normally find here — it’s still silly, occasionally, but it’s a book that tries very hard to make sense of the art of storytelling. And that means I’m expending a lot of my writing/storytelling advice on that book — so, harder to muster it here, because it needs to go there.
Third, and I dunno if you’ve noticed this, but things are really going slippery in this country. We’re all in a tractor-trailer driving across a frozen lake, man. The back end has gone wobbly. We’re fishtailing here and the ice is fracturing underneath us as we rip forward. I don’t open the news and find much good there — it’s hard to say, OH, THANK GOD THEY’RE PUTTING GAG ORDERS ON VITAL GOVERNMENT DEPARTMENTS TO MAKE SURE THEY DON’T TALK TO THE PUBLIC, YOU KNOW, THE DEPARTMENTS THAT THE PUBLIC FUCKING FUNDS WITH OUR PUBLIC FUCKING MONEY. Our president and his press secretary get up there and spout easily disprovable lies (remember: the duck is a dog, you traitor).
I respect you not wanting me to talk about this.
Honestly, I don’t wanna talk about this shit either.
I’d rather talk about literally anything else. Otters! Bees! Cool new sex moves! Books I’ve read, movies I’ve watched, ancient beasts that I have hunted through eldritch wood! I would much rather talk about writing, or cursing, or arting harder, or poop jokes, or pee jokes (though at least there, our current president allows me to pull double-duty). But I wake up every day and I just peek at the news with one half-lidded eye through gently lifted Internet blinds and boom, it’s like that scene in Terminator 2 where the nuclear blast annihilates everything. OH GOD CHRIST IN SOCKS IT BURNS, IT BURNS. The news isn’t good. It’s not, “Hey, Congress did something nice today.” Or, “Wow, Trump gave a kitten some milk.” Instead you get WALLS FRAUD LIES MUSLIMS ILLEGALS TOMBSTONES OBAMACARE CARNAGE SEND IN THE FEDS.
I don’t want to talk about any of this.
I don’t want any of this.
Some of this is normal run-of-the-mill bad. Some of it is a guttering transmission bad.
Some of it is existentially bad.
So, on the one hand, I get what you’re saying. You want to come here, and maybe you want a vacation from the horror show. I grok that. I do. I want to be that port in your storm (wait that sounds sexier than I intend it). I want to be safe harbor from Satan’s Orgy. (Actually, let’s not diss Satan like that. This is much worse, and Satan’s probably pretty cool — after all, he hosts orgies.)
On the other hand, sometimes it feels like when I get these messages, what you’re saying isn’t that you want an oasis in the shit-show, but rather, you want me to shut up about stuff. Because sometimes your emails have that vibe of disagreeability, as if it’s less that you don’t want to hear about politics and more you don’t want to hear my politics. You want me to do the monkey dance you like, not the monkey dance you don’t.
And while I respect that, I gotta do my monkey dance. Not yours.
So.
I’ll make a deal with you.
I’m going to keep talking about this stuff because, c’mon. This affects me and it affects people who are far more vulnerable than me, and it feels right to talk about. We have a Russian puppet Tyrannosaurus Rex barreling down on us — flanked by a Congress of eager velociraptors — and you want me to talk about something else? You’re telling me to shut up about the T-Rex, and I’m trying to warn you about the T-Rex. So, I’m going to keep talking about it — and if that bothers you that much, you are welcome to leap into the maw of the beast and end up as dinosaur shit.
The offer I’ll make is:
Yes, I’ll keep talking about other things, when I have them to talk about. And even when I’m shrieking and freaking out and loading the DINOSAUR TREBUCHET, I’ll still try to be funny or weird or otherwise “me” about the whole thing. I mean, hell, even this post has all the hallmarks of a good Wendig post, doesn’t it? Poop. Satan. Orgies. Dinosaur trebuchets. I’ll try to keep it all at least a little bit funny, because if the laughter dies, our souls die with it.
I’ll get back to the writing advice, relax. The monkey dance will evolve.
But I’m also gonna keep doing what I’m doing, and if you don’t like that, here’s your money back.
*opens pouch, upends invisible and non-existent coins into your open hands*
*last thing out of the pouch is a middle finger*
*and bees*
*so many bees*
chacha1 says:
More thumbs up and happy to dance along with you. The government works for taxpayers, and we need to tell it what we fucking think, however we can, including on our own goddamned blogs. Whiny emailer can suck it.
fwiw I am defaulting to DJT instead of typing the full name, and also because I refuse to write “the president” in reference to this shambling golem of greed and ignorance, and also because in my head I pronounce it IDJIT.
January 25, 2017 — 2:08 PM
Emma says:
Awesomeness
January 28, 2017 — 12:03 PM
warjna says:
YES! Word.
January 31, 2017 — 11:03 PM
Chloe says:
No! NO! Not bees man, because then the bees are DEAD TOO, with all the flappy hands swatting them out of the sky, invisible coins knocking them out all over the place – gah, what a mess… Hey, monkeyboy, I learnt great stuff about writing from you. Keep doing what you do. Stuff those emails. Kisses from France xx
January 25, 2017 — 2:09 PM
Emily says:
I, for one, appreciate you writing about this stuff. It make me laugh a little bit after I am veering towards despair after seeing the latest news. <3
January 25, 2017 — 2:13 PM
jessicaapril7 says:
You are wonderful, Chuck, don’t change your ways, though I know you wouldn’t. Your sense of humor has lessened my near constant desire to explosively vomit while weeping and hugging my history books while trying not to get puke and tears on them. I need your madness, the books need your madness. And let’s be honest, the world needs it too. Thank you, sir. *Deadpool salute*
January 25, 2017 — 2:17 PM
sonofahistoryprof says:
Chuck – please enjoy your blog! I do! I aspire to be a (published) author one day, but for now, well, other Sh…stuff got in the way. And i screamed, “Someone should do something about this!”. And you know what? I am someone. And so are you. And so is everyone who reads this. And everyone they meet.
I have started blogging – first about the vision I have for America: “Unifying America to accelerate prosperous liberty through active principles of indomitable Love”. Then about the principles I believe will drive us to that vision – http://www.arkofhistory.com/principles. Then I also make blog entries, and social media posts, and ask people to visit. to join, and to activate themselves (as “Someone”)….so that maybe, your blog can end up with most of its posts about books. Or just not politics, because we solved this sh…stuff and came together as a country.
Because that’s what I believe the problem is: We are far too gleeful and passionate about tearing each other apart and we (collectively) are not doing enough of A) respecting voters who voted differently, and B) understanding each other.
Our leaders aren’t. We aren’t. And when we do, I believe our leadership will change. Because both NOW and in the future, we’ll get the leaders we deserve. Anyway – thank you for your books (which I haven’t the time for yet) and your blog (which I enjoy). well…I’m off to go tweet about the irony of people “lumping” all trump voters together as bigots! (ugh!)
January 25, 2017 — 2:18 PM
Jamie Chavez says:
Keep writing this stuff. You’re keeping me sane. THANK YOU.
January 25, 2017 — 3:19 PM
Theresa Elders says:
Thanks…keep on talking…we need to talk, talk, talk…and take action.
January 25, 2017 — 3:29 PM
judithflickinger says:
Keep doing what you do in the way you want to do it. Fuck em if they can’t take it.
January 25, 2017 — 3:29 PM
Merc W says:
Chuck,
While I did scream multiple “Hell Yeahs” as I dizzily bobbled my head in agreement with your post, I think the most cogent point you make is:
“as if it’s less that you don’t want to hear about politics and more you don’t want to hear my politics. You want me to do the monkey dance you like, not the monkey dance you don’t.”
As an old radio person, when fielding calls of complaint, we would frequently say: “you (presumably) have a hand, your radio has a dial, if you don’t like the song, please change the station.” And afterward would mutter, “Fuck them”.
So, to those who would rather not hear the truth about our new President-Fuerher-Nitwit-ManToddler:
Fuck them.
Do what you do Chuck, for it is good.
And thank you for it.
January 25, 2017 — 3:45 PM
Theresa Jacobs says:
I enjoy many of your blogs. I am Canadian and I’ll admit not interested in politics at all. I am also smart enough to say “meh this blog is not for me” and move on to the next email, we have that power. Keep being true to you, screw the rest.
January 25, 2017 — 3:56 PM
Elizabeth Marling says:
Is it weird that I feel jealous that someone who obviously didn’t deserve it was able to grab the attention of a person I admire by writing an email criticizing him? Maybe I should change tactics.
January 25, 2017 — 4:12 PM
Carlos Matthews Hernandez says:
Seems to be the narrative after this election – a desire to have citizens shut their mouths and not voice their concerns with the country’s direction. A number of Republicans demanded that they be heard this election cycle, yet, when Liberals or those opposed to the new Administration do the same, they are reprimanded and told to stop complaining.
It’s hard for me to shake that we can’t make progress in unifying the people when empathy is severely lacking in our populace.
January 25, 2017 — 4:16 PM
chuckdee68 says:
We’re not here to watch a monkey dance? Who knew?
January 25, 2017 — 5:08 PM
Christelle says:
Yes! We must keep an eye on the monolitapropagandasaur!
January 25, 2017 — 5:39 PM
mraf says:
Some of the best writing advice you give comes from how aware you are of current events. Writing isn’t all elves and robots, it’s about sending a message and making people think. A writer can’t do that if they are not informed. Thank you for being informed. Keep posting.
January 25, 2017 — 5:51 PM
vonneanton says:
Excuse me, I’m sorry, but it looks like, yes, it seems you gave me too much money back. Here, I think I can make change, um, no, er, be right back! Is there an ATM close by? (First time commenter, general idiot, don’t mind me. Oh, HI!)
January 25, 2017 — 5:52 PM
Deborah Makarios says:
Sometimes you’ve got to take Patricia Highsmith’s example: read what comes in of a morning, spend ten minutes or so indulging in muted screams, and then get on with doing what you’ve got to do.
No one comes here looking for a magical safety bubble in which all is sweetness and light (certainly not more than once, anyway). So for what it’s worth, I’d say keep saying what you want to say, the way you say it. You can’t laugh and despair.
January 25, 2017 — 6:12 PM
Jeff W says:
Keep doing what you’re doing. These are seriously disturbing times, and it would seem odd if you didn’t comment on it. The truth is up for grabs, and I wonder if we’ll even have another election.
January 25, 2017 — 6:15 PM
flippinscribbler says:
It’s simple. You don’t want to read the political spew that comes from the man’s mouth, don’t click on the linky. It’s not like Chucks tied you to a chair and is forcing you to listen to this on repeat like some mind control freak.
January 25, 2017 — 6:16 PM
Bradley Staples says:
I’m really scared.
I mean, did you have those bees behind your zipper the whole time, or what?
January 25, 2017 — 6:27 PM
April Moore says:
DAMN GOOD POST, Chuck.
January 25, 2017 — 6:28 PM
brynniegahr says:
I actually got furious when I read that first paragraph. It takes a ship-load of balls – and a staggering amount of ignorance – to think you’re entitled to tell someone what to post on their own blog. You were sooooo much more gracious than I would have been…
Personally, I’m glad you share exactly what’s on your mind. It comforts me to know I’m not the only one pacing the floors overnight, wondering what horrific thing might possibly unfold next.
January 25, 2017 — 6:47 PM
Ashe says:
Goddamn, I fucking love you. I adore every post you make whether it’s rambling on the great big steaming pile of shit America has gotten itself into (read: NOT American, but contrary to what many people may think people from other parts of the world actually get to weigh in their opinions) or your writing tips, or whatever else it is you want to post. You keep me fuckin’ sane. Don’t ever stop doing what you do.
January 25, 2017 — 8:06 PM
Rebecca McCurdy says:
Some posts made me laugh, some posts made me cry. Some days I deleted most of my emails without reading. This response was so measured and thoughtful I’m thinking maybe a trump-bot (a.k.a KAC) sent brain-eating worms to you disguised as chocolates. xoxo
January 25, 2017 — 8:35 PM
madeleineburnside says:
I am totally with you on this. Whatever we used to talk about, back when our civilization was viable, is barely relevant now that it’s all skidding away from us. Please keep on keeping on with whatever…
January 25, 2017 — 8:56 PM
sandopane says:
Yeah I am going to say that I kind of agree with the guy too. I like your blog because your stuff is funny in a unique way. But on the other stuff, not so much. You see, about half the country loves Trump. About half the country voted for Trump. So while you go on about how bad he is, we are kind of getting rubbed the wrong way. We feel like “Wait My opinion, my vote, what am I shit? Can you see what I mean? No?
Well, as you say, it’s your blog and you can write whatever you want because it is yours. My blog tells of all the wonderful things that are going to happen in our great country. And Trump is going to make those things happen. Yeah Baby.
Have fun .
January 25, 2017 — 9:09 PM
terribleminds says:
Half the country did not vote for Trump.
That’s called an “alternative fact” — or, more routinely, a lie.
The United States population is 318 million people.
Total number registered to vote is ~200 million.
Clinton received around 66 million votes.
Trump received around 63 million.
Which puts his vote tally at about 31% of registered voters.
Which is significantly less than half. It’s even less than a third, by a bit.
You can get rubbed the wrong way all you want, but I got news for you: the good things he’s gonna do better start showing up real soon, because up until this point, it’s been the work of a baby playing patty-cake with his own wet shit.
— c.
January 26, 2017 — 8:01 AM
brynniegahr says:
YES. Where is the frickin’ LIKE button when you need one???
January 26, 2017 — 6:50 PM
Elizabeth Marling says:
Are you just desperate for a fight or what, man? Hundreds of comments from fans and you reply to THIS jerk? I’m not sure what to make of it. Grow the f#ck up and appreciate what you have, for the love of Goddess. Seriously.
January 27, 2017 — 6:08 PM
terribleminds says:
Does this feel like a helpful response, Elizabeth? I don’t find it helpful. Telling me to grow the fuck up is a very good way to suggest you’re not much of a fan yourself.
I appreciate everyone who comes here in support, and I should probably take more time to respond to positive comments, I agree. But it’s difficult to respond to every comment because, as the post notes, I’m kinda overloaded right now. That said, I am willing to take the time to push back when it arises.
January 28, 2017 — 12:16 PM
Elizabeth Marling says:
I am embarrassed to admit that I did write it to be helpful, although in hindsight it is not.
I also wrote it because I felt scared, to be brutally honest. All my life I have watched people act stupidly, even endangering themselves, all in blissful ignorance of just how close they are to the edge. Here I am, reading a well-written, thoughtful opinion about a messed-up world authored by an articulate individual, and the idea that it would be wasted trying to sway the minds of idiots upset me. It still upsets me.
I respect the fact that you want to explain a point of view. Maybe even change a few minds, secretly. But can’t you curate a conversation that it is worth your time and energy to have, with someone capable of your level of discourse? It bothered me to see you replying to people who don’t even use complete sentences or punctuation, and it even scared me a little because we live in a scary world, I guess.
I’m sorry for mouthing off in anger. It wasn’t right. If you do read this, I apologize.
January 29, 2017 — 2:32 PM
rebask says:
Blog on. Pay no heed to the Austin Powers fellow, and cohorts such as he, they’re convinced the gilded King will save the day. It’s sad, really. I mean that truly. They are collectively disillusioned with America as a whole, and think we have something to ‘Go Back To’, instead of marching forward and trying to repair the damages from past mistakes made by others who came before the current ‘Make America Great” guy. The America they talk about ‘going back to’ included such atrocities as segregation, trickle down economy, etc, ad nauseum. I’m over being angry at them, I just feel sad for most of them and reserve the anger for the ones who purposefully hide the reality of the world we live in to further their own personal agendas, without care if it harms our world or the people in it in the long run.
About Bees… yes let’s talk about bees. They are important. We may not have many left soon, what with the gilded one being in the seat he’s in, and all his appointees being against doing anything about Global Warming. Oh, wait – that’s kind of what the complainers wanted you to stop writing about, isn’t it?
I’ll just sit back down and read a while.
January 25, 2017 — 10:26 PM
Nancy Davis Kho (@midlifemixtape) says:
There IS no other story right now. And that’s the truth (not an alternative fact.)
January 25, 2017 — 10:28 PM
Sophie Giroir says:
It’s all fodder for stories in the end.
January 25, 2017 — 10:56 PM
Gina Scott Roberts (@GinaScottRobert) says:
To whoever sent you that email, I say, if you don’t like it, don’t read it.
I’ll admit, I don’t read EVERY post you put up, sometimes I only read part of one simply because it’s not particularly interesting to me.
BUT…
Just as I am free not to read what I have no interest in reading, you are free to write whatever you feel is interesting/necessary for you to write about. Isn’t freedom of choice what America is supposed to be about?
Keep writing, expressing your opinion, talking about your books, writing…whatever is on your mind. As you said, its YOUR BLOG.
I intend to keep reading when your posts interest me and skipping the ones that don’t. But please, no more bees. They get stuck in my hair and the buzzing is driving me crazy! 😉
January 25, 2017 — 11:42 PM
Jackie says:
I like your blog. Keep blogging on!
January 26, 2017 — 8:53 AM
MJ Falcone says:
you are strong like bull
January 26, 2017 — 9:12 AM
Meta says:
thankyouthankyouthankyou — trying to stay sane in the Trump sh*t show! — thankyouthankyouthankyou
January 26, 2017 — 9:40 AM
wizardru says:
BEES.
January 26, 2017 — 10:14 AM
Pam says:
Please continue to be you.
January 26, 2017 — 10:45 AM
susielindau says:
It’s your blog, Chuck, spew as you please. I do.
January 26, 2017 — 10:51 AM
Martin Lake says:
Yep. You got it right.
January 26, 2017 — 12:55 PM
Nick says:
Totally on your side wendig! Btw, you mention that you’d rather be talking about anything but this stuff, so I have an important question for you to help you start that: what was your favorite movie of 2016 that was not named Star Wars?
Keep up the good work!
January 26, 2017 — 1:52 PM
garyp0705 says:
How about this; writers (and others) don’t tweet or write about politics but in exchange, the politicians do their job, don’t talk about SNL or other things that they nothing about. All the politicians work hard and fix the problems in the country and do their very best to protect and support the people of the land and the writer’s write.
Sound fair?
January 26, 2017 — 2:11 PM
Nukkepuk says:
Hang on to the bees, and the monkeys, and the spew! They may all disappear off the face of the earth the way things are going…
January 26, 2017 — 2:43 PM
Mike. says:
Keep it up, it’s all a part of our lives, and whether we like it or not.
January 26, 2017 — 2:57 PM
Bob Schueler says:
Sounds like a good deal to me. Thanks, Chuck. Please keep it up!
January 26, 2017 — 3:21 PM
Kim says:
Wow, Chuck. When you get it wrong, you really get it wrong don’t ya? “my books are for you, and my blog is for me.” Are you serious? Is this a joke? Because I’m going to tell you a secret – books are for the writer, the blog is for the reader. I know it sounds weird, but hear me out. The book. It starts out as a seed, a floating idea that nags and haunts. The little fucker won’t leave you alone. It wakes you up at 1, 2, 3 o’clock in the morning and for what? To write down a sentence, 10 little words, that leave you exhausted but satisfied. And from that nugget, that seed, avalanches into a 60K thing that goes through countless revisions all so it shine and what for? So you, the writer, nobody else, can be free of it. You wrote that book, not for your readers, but for you. In the words of Toni Morrison, “I wrote my first novel because I wanted to read it.” We write because there is a story alive in us and wants to get out. It doesn’t care if it’s read by just you or million people, it just wants out. “My books are you,” go fuck yourself, your books are for you and you know it. You know that if you couldn’t write your stories, then the real insanity begins, because you’re nothing if you can’t create for yourself first.
“My blog is for me,” you and many others get that wrong. Your blog is for your readers. It used to be yours, but it belongs to them now. Somewhere along the way, it became your calling card, your declaration, the platform that screams, “I am here! I am a writer! Take notice!” That place people reach out to for help, for guidance or to connect, not to be put off by political ramblings. I have friend who is a agent who once said to another friend, “unless your J.K. “fucking” Rowling or honestly don’t care about your sales, don’t mention religion or politics.” Why? Because it’s polarizing. In marketing, there are 4 reasons on why people don’t buy and with your political statements, you’ve validated those reasons so those potential readers who scampered in from Amazon can walk away. Why take the risk? How do I know his politics won’t trickle into his stories and completely ruin it for me? Now you might be saying, “that’s their problem,” wrong. That’s you’re problem, because they just took their money with them, money that could have been in your pocket but it’s not, because you fall under the illusion that your blog is for you, that you can say whatever you want and people will still buy from you. No. Because your blog stopped being yours a long time ago, you just refused see it.
January 26, 2017 — 3:27 PM
terribleminds says:
Here’s how I know my blog is mine: because I’m adding you to the spam oubliette, so kindly shove off now, into the oubliette you go, shoo, shoo.
January 26, 2017 — 4:17 PM
Toni says:
Well done, Chuck!
January 26, 2017 — 11:26 PM
D.R.Sylvester says:
Pfft. Yes, because hiding your thoughts in case they might offend part of the audience is ESSENTIAL to success…
Oh wait, then how did Trump become president? Sure stopped him dead in his tracks.
January 27, 2017 — 2:13 AM
Elizabeth Marling says:
Thank Goddess! Creating products to sell has a name, and it isn’t “art.” Trying to create to please an audience is a good way to wind up miserable and bitter. Like this a-hole. Apparently selling out causes dead eyes, vauguery, and hard core web trolling. I didn’t realize you could write with such bile after you’ve sold your soul.
January 27, 2017 — 7:10 PM
sonofahistoryprof says:
Woot-Woot! Boot-Boot! Blogs cost $$. She can start her own blog if she likes!! I started mine – http://www.arkofhistory.com – about progress throughout history, and how to put Twimp in context.
January 30, 2017 — 11:49 PM
Jade M. Wong says:
Not the bees! They’re endangered now Chuck. I don’t think we can spare any to fly out of your pouch!
P.S. I like the sound of your deal. I’m on board.
January 26, 2017 — 4:25 PM
Karen Hayes says:
Dear Chuck,
I love you unreasonably.
xxOOO,
Karen Hayes
Antique Caucasian Woman
Fucking Poetry Goddess
(Fucking Goddess of Poetry, not Goddess of Poetry About Fucking)
January 26, 2017 — 4:59 PM
Kelly Byrne says:
YAAAAAAS! Do that monkey dance only you do. Some of us, I imagine a good many of us, appreciate it. Those who don’t? Buzzzzzzz off.
January 26, 2017 — 6:30 PM
Bre Miche says:
I cannot agree with this more! Sometimes I feel like I’m being smothered by fake kumbyaa nonsense when there are real problems out in the world. We can’t be silent and stick our fingers in our ears anymore. It’s ridiculous. Thank you for doing what you’re doing.
January 26, 2017 — 10:29 PM
Fiona A Bowker says:
I love that you’ve gone feral!
A meme doing the rounds: “First they came for the Latinos, Muslims, women, gays, poor people, intellectuals and scientists and then it was Wednesday.”
January 26, 2017 — 11:31 PM
decayingorbits says:
Writing — and reading the writing of others – is my escape from the non-stop sewage-spewing that passes for polite conversation these days. Before the days of social media, I don’t recall ever hearing someone say to me (or anyone else for that matter) “I disagree with what you have just said, therefore I will never speak to you again.” It’s quite a statement of ones personal intellectual and emotional weakness. Sticks and stones they used to say. But I guess we’ve evolved, haven’t we? Not only are we not afraid to voice our hate, we teach our children to hate. I give it a generation, and we will be done. Because art, love, resist! will do nothing if our fundamental response to people we disagree with is to shut them out, act like they don’t exist, decide it is more important to assume the worst about their intentions and only the best about our own.
January 27, 2017 — 5:23 AM
Lisa Kerschner says:
Sorry I don’t have apples with fun names like “Harold’s Large” around at the moment to help distract you a bit and provide some healthy entertainment! I appreciate your telling it like it is, Chuck….keep it up. I’ll rant right along with you here at the orchard!
January 27, 2017 — 6:09 AM