Have you ever wanted to eat stinky tofu while binge watching reruns of the Bionic Woman? Or fall in love with a boy named Pajamas? Have you ever thought there was an alien in your stomach trying to kill you?
Coming out is hard when you have two gay moms. At least it is for Simon Bugg. It’s his senior year, and nothing’s going as planned. When his mom scores a dream job, Simon’s world is turned upside down. Stuck at a new school in a strange town, he spirals, torn between the only friends he’s ever known and a growing circle of freaks and geeks who welcome him in.
Things start to look up for Simon when he meets the handsome PJ in drama class. That is, until he derails their first date in spectacular fashion. With a little help from his friends, Simon finds his way back to PJ. But how can he have a relationship with the boy of his dreams when he’s convinced he’s going to die?
No one knows about the nightly alien attacks at 11:22. Why then, and why are they getting worse? Simon must face a dark secret before he loses his chance with the boy he loves.
1: Stinky tofu is pretty damn tasty…in fact, it’s delicious!
Everyone deserves to see themselves represented in books. So, when I set out to write Somewhere in Nowhere, I made diversity a priority. I wanted my cast of characters to be as colorful and vibrant as the friends I had growing up in Montgomery County, Maryland. This approach opened doors to new experiences as I did research for my characters.
When I first learned about stinky tofu, I was obsessed.
This can’t really be a thing, can it?
Turns out it is.
Okay, but people don’t really eat this, do they?
Yep. They do!
And how bad does it really smell?
Pretty bad!
I had to know more. I investigated its history and the intense fermentation process it goes through to become the odorous, night-market delicacy beloved across Taiwan, Hong Kong, and mainland China. But one thing was missing. I had to try stinky tofu for myself.
It wasn’t easy, but when I found a restaurant with stinky tofu on its menu (East Dumpling House in Rockville, MD if you’re asking), it was steps away from where my protagonist and his merry band of misfit friends go to high school. A stinky match made in heaven.
For the big, taste-testing night, my spouse and I took friends to East Dumpling House. I don’t want to give too much away, because I put it all in the novel, but I’ll tell you my spouse sort of liked it, but it was a gag-worthy moment for our friends. What about me, you’re wondering? I loved it! Every stinking bite. The fun part for all of us, though, was experiencing a new culture and trying foods out of our comfort zone.
I’ve since learned about hairy tofu. Who’s up for the challenge?
2: Sorry, Ripley. The only alien in my stomach is a-n-x-i-e-t-y.
At the risk of sounding clichéd: it’s okay to not be okay. This is a lesson I’ve had to learn more than once in my life, and it was never more poignant than when I was writing Somewhere in Nowhere. I was in the throes of crippling anxiety and panic attacks. I would be up all night. Then, in the morning, I would lay my experiences bare on the page. What Simon was feeling and going through was what I was feeling and going through.
I needed to take my own advice, and I wanted to share this message with readers who may be going through their own mental health struggles. (Spoiler alert: the alien isn’t real.) Simon’s challenge is my challenge. And it may be yours, too. Though his story is fiction, the anxiety and panic Simon experiences is very much my story and my truth. And writing this novel was way cheaper (and did more to help me) than all my years of therapy.
3: Are you there, Hector? It’s me, Simon, and I can’t breathe.
When I set out to write my debut novel, I knew it had to be three things:
- a classic LGBTQ+ coming-of-age story
- about a boy dealing with mental health challenges
- written in the vein of Judy Blume (my favorite childhood author!)
Judy Blume’s books were everything to me as a kid. They were the ones that kept me reading. I learned about the world from her—things my parents didn’t tell me. She also helped me feel not so alone, and she inspires the books I write today. YA that deals with tough, real-life issues. I think this was where the seed was planted for my dark-meets-light writing style. I want my readers to feel all the feels. To laugh, and to cry. That’s real life, after all.
4: How a 20-sided die made me a better storyteller.
The idea for becoming an author came about at the Gaithersburg Book Festival. As I passed The Writer’s Center booth, someone asked if I was a writer. When I said no, they probed further, asking what I did for a living. When I replied, “singer-songwriter,” they said: You’re a writer. It’s in your title. It was a light bulb moment for me.
I thought about that conversation a lot over the next year andwhen the pandemic wiped out my work as a performing songwriter, I decided it was time to sit down to write that novel. But I still wasn’t sure I could do it. After all, I drew cartoons and daydreamed during school. I got Cs and Ds in English class. I loved books my whole life, and escaped into them, but never thought about myself as an author. And I certainly didn’t know how to write a book. Or so I thought.
Then it hit me, I’ve been telling stories for most of my life. Most recently, it’s been through four-minute folk songs, but before that, it was as Dungeon Master for countless Cheeto-dusted D&D games. As a kid, I never wanted to be a playing character, I wanted to create the world and tell the story of the game. This is where I learned about pacing, foreshadowing, and planting clues. Turns out, I’d been preparing for novel writing my whole life. Let’s go!
5: My Jewish family guilt has nothing on your Taiwanese family guilt.
“I swear to God, Mags, you have the nagging skills of a middle-aged Jewish mother.”
“Fine! Make fun of the weird girl! Who just happens to be worried about you! Also, you should know better than to bring up this old feud. You know very well that your Jewish family guilt has nothing on my Taiwanese family guilt. My mother’s guilt, and her mother before her, and her mother before her, and so on and so on, is steeped in a long lineage. It’s basically science. How many times are we going to have this argument?”
I mentioned earlier, representation matters. And own voices in literature are important. That’s why it was clear to me that Simon needed to be gay and Jewish. These are things I know and can write about from an honest place. A place of lived experience. That doesn’t mean Simon and I are the same person, we’re not. But we share a common denominator in lifestyle and experiences. These identities have not always been easy in my life. I had my own struggles coming out as a teenager, and I have never been a religious person. But I discovered in writing this novel that we tend to fall back on our traditions when times get tough. I realized there’s comfort and lessons to learn in accepting these truths about ourselves and our community.
Bonus Thing: Bread and water can so easily be toast and tea.
Sure, you might open a mostly empty refrigerator and see nothing to drink and only stale bread to eat. Or you could brew a cup of delicious tea and make that stale bread all hot and toasty. Mmmm.
Sure, you might lose your work and not know how to pay your bills. But you were also given a gift of time. How will you use it?
Sure, you haven’t slept all night because your anxious mind was trying to kill you. But you can pour this trauma into your art and write about it from an honest place.
So, to sum it all up, the main thing I learned was: put the kettle on, toast the bread, and write your truth.
Steven Gellman is an award-winning songwriter turned author. Inspired by his early love for Judy Blume’s groundbreaking stories, Steven has found his passion for writing coming-of-age fiction that centers LGBTQ+ voices and the real-life challenges of navigating adolescence in an ever-changing world. He has long championed authentic queer storytelling — first through song, now through fiction.
When he’s not writing, Steven can be found sipping a cup of Dark Rose tea and plotting new adventures for his book club, Tea & Peril. Steven lives in Maryland’s Piedmont region with his husband and a houseful of rescued companion animals. Somewhere in Nowhere is his first novel.
Steven Gellman: Website
Somewhere in Nowhere: Bookshop.org | Amazon | (or through your favorite indie bookstore)
