Last week’s challenge: Conclude The Tale!
This week’s challenge is deceptively simple.
I want you to write one amazing sentence. A sentence that is part of a larger story but is not itself a story — a sentence that makes you want to read forward and backward, but is itself a capture of the tale. Just a slice.
(And then, next week, folks will choose a sentence to build an entire story around.)
Write one sentence — no more than 100 words, please.
Drop it in the comments below.
And that’s all you need to do.
But make that sentence as amazing as you can make it.
Go.
Richard says:
Over and over the cat-flap swung as, like a scene from an old Western, Mr Tiddles and his posse swaggered home; keeping a wary eye on Mr T, Kevin finished filling milk saucers and hurriedly distributed liver, chicken or salmon breakfasts, trying to remember when he first became afraid of his cat.
September 27, 2014 — 4:46 AM
jackiegamber says:
…oooh. Like.
September 27, 2014 — 10:10 AM
tedra says:
That is a good one.
September 30, 2014 — 7:31 AM
Raven Blackburn says:
When the decapitated head on the floor told me to stop screaming I passed out.
September 27, 2014 — 5:29 AM
Samantha says:
Awesome…just awesome
October 3, 2014 — 10:30 PM
boydstun215 says:
Kasabian!
October 6, 2014 — 8:44 PM
juliegum says:
Dogs don’t howl when it is the full moon: they run to hide where there’s no hiding and today Mr. Richards was a dog.
September 27, 2014 — 6:06 AM
colinjkeats says:
anice set up!
September 28, 2014 — 2:51 AM
Anne says:
Nice. I really like this.
September 29, 2014 — 12:11 AM
Pat says:
There’s no such thing as no such thing.
September 27, 2014 — 8:12 AM
EC Moore says:
I like this simple sentence.
September 27, 2014 — 4:53 PM
Pat says:
Thank you. It opens up lots of possibilities.
September 27, 2014 — 11:46 PM
Wesley says:
“What exactly is it about me having no money or home that makes talking to me and enjoying my company such a bad idea?”
September 27, 2014 — 8:31 AM
Becki Crossley says:
“As I struggled to control my ragged breathing, I realised too late that my hiding space was already occupied.”
September 27, 2014 — 9:10 AM
JJ Toner says:
This I like.
October 3, 2014 — 11:29 AM
corporatejade says:
Everyone knew the outlaw, not by name or his arrogant swagger, but by his cowboy hat: riddled with holes, he wore it like a badge of honor.
September 27, 2014 — 9:33 AM
robert bucchianeri says:
If I had known what was in store for me, I would have given the kid a lollipop, patted her on the head, and ushered her out of my office faster than she could flip a Rubik’s cube.
September 27, 2014 — 9:35 AM
CDNWMN says:
like it!
September 27, 2014 — 10:47 AM
colinjkeats says:
i like this too
September 28, 2014 — 2:52 AM
JessaJ says:
After a dozen times scrubbing herself down in the shower with that over powering mint smelling soap and nail brush that rubbed her skin raw, the musty smell of death still seemed to ooze out of every pore in her body; it wouldn’t be long before she realized the smell would never go away. The smell of death tends not to fade from the dead.
September 27, 2014 — 10:58 AM
tedra says:
Nice.
September 30, 2014 — 7:33 AM
JJ Toner says:
Two sentences, but the second one is unnecessary. Really nice one.
October 3, 2014 — 11:31 AM
JessaJ says:
Yes, I realized that afterwards, but couldn’t revise it. Thank you 🙂
October 7, 2014 — 3:43 AM
Sydney Gael says:
He turned to the small, sleeping form next to him — so quiet and vulnerable under the sheet — and so unlike the woman who raged and screamed at him only hours before, and who had made it perfectly clear that nothing would have pleased her more than to beat the ever-living fuck out of him.
September 27, 2014 — 11:14 AM
CDNWMN says:
Demons and angels are sometimes hard to differentiate, and they are even harder to kill.
September 27, 2014 — 11:18 AM
Darke Conteur says:
I like that!!
September 27, 2014 — 12:23 PM
Pat says:
Can’t wait to read more…
September 28, 2014 — 5:21 PM
Anne says:
I like this alot.
September 29, 2014 — 12:13 AM
aspeed says:
I used this for my story. http://andreaspeed.com/2014/new-flash-fic-challenge-rapture/
October 6, 2014 — 10:46 PM
CDNWMN says:
great story, I really enjoyed it! thank you! (sorry so late seeing this!)
October 31, 2014 — 1:46 PM
matthewcook says:
Pari’s cousin did not get a funeral.
September 27, 2014 — 11:30 AM
JJ Toner says:
Wow!
October 3, 2014 — 11:32 AM
Jordy says:
Death grip on the band aid, she flipped the lights, and skipped-ran down the hallway; gaining fumbling momentum before abruptly smashing her face into the bedroom door.
September 27, 2014 — 12:05 PM
mangacat201 says:
The stars are falling, falling all around them, so she guesses now is the time to find out whether the clerics of the temple are right and their world will be reborn from the ashes – or perish forever, like it never even was.
September 27, 2014 — 12:32 PM
kakubjaya says:
“Wait, If we didn’t save the universe then where the hell are we now?” he said as he narrowed what he assumed were his eyes at her.
September 27, 2014 — 1:45 PM
alice e says:
I assume my eyes enjoyed that.
September 28, 2014 — 8:15 PM
underastarlitsky says:
Like!
October 2, 2014 — 7:37 PM
wombatony says:
The crisp blue eyes, sunken in their gnarled sockets, pierced my soul from across the barricade of Denny’s pancakes, and the grizzled man said, “It was you.”
September 27, 2014 — 2:22 PM
Jonah says:
I gave a sort of bark-laugh when I got to the pancakes, as they really changed the tone of the sentence for me. Interesting!
September 28, 2014 — 11:09 AM
tedra says:
Beautifully written
September 30, 2014 — 7:37 AM
joanne Ot says:
“Edmée la lessiveuse qu’elles disaient, j’avais la colère dans le cœur et je leurs faisais des crasses, cela je savais, cela venait tout seul, pas besoin de réfléchir. Lorsque je plumais les pigeons, tourterelles, poules, canards, je gardais discrètement la poche de bile du foie de la bestiole, que je faisais sécher, ainsi que l’intérieur du gésier. C’est d’un amer ce truc là, et j’en mettais dans les petits pains qu’elles ne manqueraient pas de me voler. “
September 27, 2014 — 2:37 PM
L. N. Holmes says:
bien joué
September 28, 2014 — 10:25 AM
Kirsten says:
“There was an awkward moment as my breath hitched, my mouth too dry to swallow and my knees just seconds away from sending the rest of me folding into a pile of sweaty flesh at his feet, when I saw him smile.”
September 27, 2014 — 3:16 PM
E.B. Black says:
Her children screamed for her as they burned to death, but all she did was watch.
September 27, 2014 — 3:50 PM
Jonah says:
I can’t say I’d read forward and back from this sentence, as it’s just so bleak. Not only does she ignore the screams, she actually watches. I think this is a compliment, though, as I’m not your audience but found it quite effective.
September 28, 2014 — 11:12 AM
JJ Toner says:
Mamma phoenix, maybe?
October 3, 2014 — 11:35 AM
Griffin Stiles says:
I’ve never been one much for fear but what lay in front of me, sizzling and bubbling in all its inhuman rage, I don’t mind saying that at that moment, I was afraid.
September 27, 2014 — 4:10 PM
L. N. Holmes says:
Blaise was given a choice, the slide or the pit, but she didn’t know what was at the bottom of either.
September 27, 2014 — 4:53 PM
Brian Sommers says:
It was a normal clear day, where the sky is blue with several clouds, you know, the ones with puffy white tops and dusty grey bottoms; It had been a day exactly like that when Jimmy Stiles got run over by a truck.
September 27, 2014 — 5:14 PM
dangerdean says:
Don’t get me wrong, I’m a morning person, but every damned time I wake up to a kick in the balls I wish I was still asleep.
September 27, 2014 — 7:00 PM
hearts_longing says:
Man, don’t we all……..
September 27, 2014 — 7:12 PM
Rose_Red says:
She watched his reflection in her vanity mirror as he kissed her neck tenderly, like the first time.
September 27, 2014 — 8:09 PM
Hana Frank says:
I’ve discovered that revenge is a dish you should serve when it’s still hot.
September 27, 2014 — 8:40 PM
Terri says:
Love this . . .
September 28, 2014 — 12:27 PM
Hana Frank says:
Thanks Terri !
September 28, 2014 — 4:27 PM
Anne says:
OK wow, love this! Brave, and so nicely done.
September 29, 2014 — 12:18 AM
Brandon O'Brien says:
The clock flashed green letters at me in the dark, but they had already stolen my brain.
September 27, 2014 — 8:41 PM
Al Barrera says:
Any other time she would have rolled her eyes, but if these were to be her last moments on Earth, she didn’t want to spoil them.
September 27, 2014 — 10:02 PM
Russell Appelt says:
All I got for my nineteenth birthday was pregnant and a criminal record.
September 27, 2014 — 11:52 PM
Pat says:
Ha! Great sentence! Really tragic if it were true for you, Russell.
September 28, 2014 — 5:23 PM
Mozette says:
I’ll use this one… I can see it continuing on, no matter where I’d put it in a story. 🙂
October 3, 2014 — 9:30 AM
JJ Toner says:
Great first line.
October 3, 2014 — 11:37 AM
Laurie Jameson says:
There is absolutely a story in here.
October 5, 2014 — 2:58 AM
wildbilbo says:
They screamed as they fell, screeching with each tumble, stopping only when they hit the earth; moments after, the screaming started on the ground.
September 28, 2014 — 12:51 AM
Trevor Johnson says:
Ten hours into the surgery, I quit with the pacing and found a corner of the waiting area and knelt there beside a window, vowing as I looked into the sky that I would do anything, everything…just let my little girl come out okay.
September 28, 2014 — 1:31 AM
Sam Phillips says:
She woke up with a cracked watch, a chipped tooth and the hangover from hell.
September 28, 2014 — 9:20 AM
Raven Blackburn says:
Sounds like quite the night. Nice.
September 29, 2014 — 11:31 AM
Jonah says:
Del’s stomach roiled as she accelerated away from the research ship, toward the long-abandoned Earth and the legend of the Steadfasters.
September 28, 2014 — 11:06 AM
curleyqueue says:
My past was blurred possibility, the future irreversible descent, but middle age sagged with itinerant indecision and from there, my unlikely journey began.
September 28, 2014 — 11:28 AM
Helena says:
“Forgive me, Mrs, in between the sadness of the limbo and dark vibes of your thoughts, to interrupt you with such a silly though but a wonder – down here where we all have the same face, or rather, lack thereof – but while you were walking with a limp on the left leg and cursing the aftereffects of death, I remembered you.”
September 28, 2014 — 12:14 PM
tedra says:
Ok. Good. Really good.
September 30, 2014 — 7:43 AM
Terri says:
I always knew my law degree would come in handy; I’d been promoted from bartender to manager of the strip club outside of Biloxi in less than three months.
September 28, 2014 — 12:26 PM
Trish says:
“Papa should have got her head off ‘fore he buried her,” Henry said.
September 28, 2014 — 12:28 PM
Peter MacDonald says:
I used this sentence to write a story, title Mama: http://pikabot.tumblr.com/post/99633560965/mama
October 10, 2014 — 4:30 AM
jamie redgate says:
I have what some people would call a gift. I however, know it as being a curse.
September 28, 2014 — 1:14 PM
Jaime says:
Kiara looks around, her short swords trailing blood as she runs down the hall, desperately reaching for a sense of reality.
September 28, 2014 — 1:49 PM
coolerbs says:
On the day that you’re destined to die they serve cake, with exactly thirteen candles.
September 28, 2014 — 2:08 PM
L. N. Holmes says:
Nice use of second person! 🙂
October 3, 2014 — 12:24 PM
coolerbs says:
Thanks, I wanted it to be something challenging.
October 4, 2014 — 12:30 PM
Kate Loveton says:
Bound and gagged, I watched transfixed as the cobra’s long sleek body slithered toward the chaise lounge, it’s scales glittering in the quiet Indian moonlight.
September 28, 2014 — 3:33 PM
Kate Loveton says:
(Oh dear – I meant ‘its’ – not ‘it’s’ – sorry for the typo.)
September 28, 2014 — 3:34 PM
Anne says:
“It’s okay, I know what I’m doing.” I reassured her….
September 28, 2014 — 3:59 PM
Sia Marion says:
I felt the bullet’s heat melt the meat off my rib before it hit the wall behind me and I thought how unfortunate for my partner that he had such poor shootin’ skills, ‘course I also thought about how every dog has he’s day, and today, looked to be mine.
September 28, 2014 — 4:42 PM
Tsara says:
Once I’ve imagined it, for me it’s real, a memory; and it’s this memory that turned my fame into something frightfully powerful.
September 28, 2014 — 5:54 PM
Bones says:
Where the golden blade crosses her neck, a weeping smile stretches wide and the blood comes bubbling forth, a fountain of red that runs in thick, hot rivulets down moon white flesh.
September 28, 2014 — 5:59 PM
Charles says:
Sitting in front of coals gone grey and ashy, I realize that all lies and memories soon meld into some form of forgotten memory.
September 28, 2014 — 7:14 PM
Alice says:
As she wacked her head on the sign, the lizards scattered and her day turned to rot.
September 28, 2014 — 8:18 PM
Sere says:
As he stared into the eyes of the carefree creature before him, he realized that there were indeed worse things than having a soul.
September 28, 2014 — 8:19 PM
JJ Toner says:
Loved this. ‘Carefree’ gives it a real edge.
October 3, 2014 — 11:41 AM
Will Belacqua says:
When Charlotte Dinner was a girl, and so skinny that the indents of her ribs could hold a pencil, she always imagined herself making a sub-par addition to some family’s soup; now that puberty had made her folds of fat capable of enfolding a textbook, she knew that she would make a far better prime rib.
September 28, 2014 — 9:00 PM