Apple-Obsessed Author Fella

Blog Needs Blog Juice!

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Man, I hate that word.

Blog blog blog bloggity blog. It’s an awful-sounding word. At least, “tweet” is cute. But blog? Uck. I say that word, I forever envision some kind of fat-bellied toad-creature, some slick-bellied beast sitting in a pile of effluence, and sometimes the beast opens its greasy maw and crassly belches forth a noxious cloud, a cloud that smells like someone filled a balloon with diarrhea and then threw it into a campfire.

So, basically, I envision Snooki.

Still, this is irrelevant to the discussion. It is irregardless, if you care to use words that are made up.

I need blog squeezin’s.

What I’m saying is, this is a one dude operation over here at terribleminds. It’s just me here in my subterranean bunker. I’ve got my lava moat, my hungry CHUD army, my many levers and switches. But all of it is just a hollow exercise if I don’t have something to talk to you fine, fine people about.

My peeps. My tweeps. My tmeeps.

Point being, Daddy needs some topics over here. I’ve got some coming up, yes — I want to talk more about Minecraft, I have a Search Term Bingo ready to roll, I definitely want to do a few more posts about self-publishing. I’ve got the ready-steady writing advice locked and loaded, with next month talking all about the art and craft of whup-ass storytelling.

But even still — my torches, they sputter. The flames, they gutter. And so I drop my drawbridge across my lava moat (beware the lava-sharks, the magma-pus, and the volcano-gator), and I invite you into my creepy bunker to have some scones and orange pekoe tea. By which I really mean, Ritz crackers and rye whiskey.

I invite you in and I ask you:

What else do you want me to talk about here at Ye Olde Terryblemynds? Throw some topics at my head. Help me refill my blog tanks with blog juice. I can’t promise I’ll write about everything everybody wants — if you write a comment that asks me to discuss the subversive nature of the Wienerschnitzel in German history, then I got nothing. I mean, except, “Heh, wiener, or weiner, or whatever. Heh.”

But still.

Throw me a bone here.

I’m begging you. I’m just a lonely fool lurking beneath a volcano.

So, blog topics you want me to talk about? Questions you want me to answer?

Anything at all. Pitch it at my head, we’ll see if it strikes brain.

(This is, for the record, an excellent time for lurkers to delurk.)