Flash Fiction Challenge: Apocalypse Now!

AND WE’RE BACK. It’s time to revivify these challenges, I think, and this time around, let’s lean hard into our current geopolitical poopshow and ponder THE APOCALYPSE. Except, here’s the deal. I don’t want you to write THE USUAL APOCALYPSE. I want you to make one up you have not seen before. A rare, strange, unparalleled apocalypse. Unexpected. Unwritten. You have, ohhh, let’s say 1500 words to give us a glimpse of your brand new uniquely-you Apocalypse. Due on (dun dun dun) Friday the 13th, by noon EST. Post at... Read The Rest →

I Gotcher Blackbirds! Blackbirds Here! Just A Buck-Ninety-Nine

DEAREST AUDIENCE, I write to inform you of a recent change regarding my debut original novel, Blackbirds, which features the first adventure of the heroine, Miriam Black, a scalding cup of rat poison in human form. Miriam is a psychic and is able to see how and when you die simply by touching your skin to her skin. This has, quite clearly, left poor Miriam feeling less and less pleasant as regards humanity and the rest of its sweaty ilk. That novel is presently on sale for a mere one dollar and ninety-nine pennies, and it is... Read The Rest →

Awkward Author Photo Contest: The Awkward Author Winners!

AND SO IT IS DONE. The votes are tallied. The awkwardness is codified and canonical. Here then are the top four winners – #14 (by a long shot), #22, then in a tight race, #27, and #15. #2 also came in close enough where I’m gonna just go ahead and count it as five winners as much as four, because those last three were one vote off apiece, and god only knows if I fucked up the vote count. Congrats to you winners. I mean, “congrats,” because c’mon. *side-eye* YOU... Read The Rest →

Writer Resolution, 2017: Write Despite

Every year I try to offer up some kind of writerly resolution, some goal, some quest, some authorial charge to lead you into and through the New Year. It’s half-bullshit, as everything here ultimately is — because I’m not you and you’re not me and a single resolution is just a brick in the wall. And writing advice is mostly bullshit, anyway. I offered up a metric fuckload of resolutions in 2013. I had a lesser gaggle of resolutions in 2014. In 2015, I said that as a writer you should be... Read The Rest →

What I Say To 2016 As It Exits… And To 2017 As It Enters

My son associates Star Wars with Christmas a little bit, I think. In particular, both Empire Strikes Back and The Force Awakens, maybe in part because both films have snowy planets? Or maybe it’s just because he watches both around this time of the year and they get stuck in his mind like a seed between the teeth. No idea. What I do know is, during our most recent rewatch of ESB, I responded particularly to one Han Solo moment. Now, Han Solo gets a lot of moments in ESB, arguably more and better ones than Luke does. This... Read The Rest →

Sometimes, You’re Just Wrong (And That’s Totally Okay)

This is an interesting article and you should read it. (Hi, sorry, popping out of Holiday Exile long enough to write this.) You will discover, via that article, that there exist people who are ‘truthers’ about facts that are provably false — they believe that it’s the Berenstein Bears and not the Berenstain Bears, they believe there was a genie movie called Shazaam starring Sinbad instead (or in addition to) a genie movie called Kazaam starring Shaquille O’Neal, they believe that the Vader line is “Luke, I am your father,” rather than... Read The Rest →

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