Macro Monday Is Now Zoom Lens Monday, To Hell With Your Laws

I got a new lens!

Er, for my camera, not like, some kind of cyborg shit for my eyeball. Thought that would be cool? Anyway. I’m talking about the Canon 100-400mm mk II (with IS!) zoom lens. Which lets me capture shots like that one above — a chipmunk, notoriously hard to capture because they’re basically tiny woodland ninjas, now easy to capture thanks to the lens. I intend to use it for birding, mostly, because I guess I turned into an old man? (The other day I spent a half-hour tracking a scarlet tanager through the woods. I saw it but failed to get off a snap, so that’s how I wasted my day.)

If you’d still rather macros —

Well, here is a picture of a jumping spider. It’s behind the cut because spider, but I really encourage you to look at it if only for those giant green fangs. Also here’s a mantis eating an ant — an ant I literally threw to the mantis and it caught because mantids are fucking rad —

And here’s an even more up-close-and-personal look at the ring-necked snake that lives by our cellar door — at a casual glance without the camera, the snake is a dull gray color. But with macro and flash, man, it’s like a Chromatic Dragon. Look at those blues! Really beautiful animal.

YAY BUGS AND SNAKES AND SPIDERS.

THE THINGS I AM MADE OF.

Whatever. Let’s see. What else is happening?

Well, the world is still falling to shit, so that’s great. Net neutrality is gone, Trump diarrheaed over all our allies while simultaneously fawning over Putin and giving a handjob to North Korea, so we’re in really great shape on the world stage and America totally hasn’t become a shitty-pantsed embarassment in a very short time, ha ha ha, oh good.

International House of Pancakes is now International House of Branding Fuckery, oh, I’m sorry, I mean, the B stands for Burgers, I guess?

Everything is deeply stupid, so read books, because they are a temporary escape from the pure liquid nonsense raining from the sky.

In that vein, I note that Zer0es is still $1.99 — for your Kindle, on B&N, on Kobo, even iBooks. Hackers plus surveillance plus body horror thriller.

Also, audio books for The Raptor & The Wren (Emily Beresford narrating, out July 3rd, preorder now) and Damn Fine Story are incoming (date: tba).

And I think that’s it for today.

Be good, humans, because our goodness is all we have.