Happy Star Wars Day, And May The Fourth Be With You

GET IT

BECAUSE IT’S MAY

AND IT’S THE FOURTH

OF MAY

AND THERE’S THAT THING THEY SAY

IN THOSE MOVIES

MAY THE FORCE — snicker — BE WITH YOU

MAY THE FOURTH — tee hee — BE WITH YOU

I DIDN’T INVENT THE JOKE

BUT IT’S A GOOD ONE

anyway

So!

To celebrate May the 4th, as you may know, I’ll be at the Cherry Hill Library tonight, and you can nab tickets here or, I assume, come by and buy tix at the door. I’ll talk Star Wars and other stuff and sign books and do a nude performance art piece to the Ewok’s YUB NUB song, slowed down as if in a David Lynch movie. And maybe I’ll talk a little bit about Life Debt, too. 🙂

Speaking of Life Debt, I’ve been given clearance to give away one tiny little piece of the book — an itty-bitty amuse-bouche of information, which is to say, the first sentence of the first chapter.

Which is…

wait for it

wait for it

waaaaaaaait for it

spoiler space

spoiler warning

SPOILER ALERT –!

“A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…”

SEE WHAT I DID THERE

DO YOU

SEE IT

okay fine, jeez, no sense of humor around here — tough crowd.

Here, then, is the first sentence of Life Debt‘s chapter one:

“Luke Skywalker vigorously drank a tall glass of blue milk, kicked a womprat, and died.”

Wait, no, that can’t be right.

“Call me Obi-Wan.”

huh, no — shit, wait, is this it?

“Malakili rolls over and sits up –“

GODDAMNIT, NO, hold on, hold on — *ruffles through papers*

“It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single Kowakian Monkey-Lizard in possession of a jaunty hat must be in want of a Hutt…”

NO NO NO NO

I’m sorry for wasting your time, hold on, just sit still.

Oh. Here it is:

“Poe Dameron and FN-2187 study each other’s bodies the way a navigator studies a star chart in the dark…”

WAIT DAMNIT that isn’t right either, sorry, that one is from my, erm, private collection.

Ah!

Ah.

Here it is.

The for-realsies, totally-legit, honest-to-Yoda first sentence of the first chapter of Life Debt:

“Leia paces.”

THANK YOU, GOOD NIGHT

Hope to see some of you tonight in New Jersey.

Life Debt comes out on July 12th, so pre-order now: Indiebound | B&N | Amazon

(And while you’re at it — don’t forget to check out Bloodline!)