Happy Star Wars Day, And May The Fourth Be With You
GET IT
BECAUSE IT’S MAY
AND IT’S THE FOURTH
OF MAY
AND THERE’S THAT THING THEY SAY
IN THOSE MOVIES
MAY THE FORCE — snicker — BE WITH YOU
MAY THE FOURTH — tee hee — BE WITH YOU
I DIDN’T INVENT THE JOKE
BUT IT’S A GOOD ONE
anyway
So!
To celebrate May the 4th, as you may know, I’ll be at the Cherry Hill Library tonight, and you can nab tickets here or, I assume, come by and buy tix at the door. I’ll talk Star Wars and other stuff and sign books and do a nude performance art piece to the Ewok’s YUB NUB song, slowed down as if in a David Lynch movie. And maybe I’ll talk a little bit about Life Debt, too. 🙂
Speaking of Life Debt, I’ve been given clearance to give away one tiny little piece of the book — an itty-bitty amuse-bouche of information, which is to say, the first sentence of the first chapter.
Which is…
wait for it
wait for it
waaaaaaaait for it
spoiler space
spoiler warning
SPOILER ALERT –!
“A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…”
SEE WHAT I DID THERE
DO YOU
SEE IT
okay fine, jeez, no sense of humor around here — tough crowd.
Here, then, is the first sentence of Life Debt‘s chapter one:
“Luke Skywalker vigorously drank a tall glass of blue milk, kicked a womprat, and died.”
Wait, no, that can’t be right.
“Call me Obi-Wan.”
huh, no — shit, wait, is this it?
“Malakili rolls over and sits up –“
GODDAMNIT, NO, hold on, hold on — *ruffles through papers*
“It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single Kowakian Monkey-Lizard in possession of a jaunty hat must be in want of a Hutt…”
NO NO NO NO
I’m sorry for wasting your time, hold on, just sit still.
Oh. Here it is:
“Poe Dameron and FN-2187 study each other’s bodies the way a navigator studies a star chart in the dark…”
WAIT DAMNIT that isn’t right either, sorry, that one is from my, erm, private collection.
Ah!
Ah.
Here it is.
The for-realsies, totally-legit, honest-to-Yoda first sentence of the first chapter of Life Debt:
“Leia paces.”
THANK YOU, GOOD NIGHT
Hope to see some of you tonight in New Jersey.
Life Debt comes out on July 12th, so pre-order now: Indiebound | B&N | Amazon
(And while you’re at it — don’t forget to check out Bloodline!)
May 4, 2016 @ 10:58 AM
“For Want of a Hutt”
Now there’s a Star Wars title.
May 4, 2016 @ 12:56 PM
Space diapers
May 4, 2016 @ 12:58 PM
OMG FINE I PREORDERED
Can you send me more of that bit about Poe? Um, for academic porpoises. Harrumph.
May 6, 2016 @ 3:45 PM
Could you maybe introduce me to these scientifically inclined porpoises? I love sea mammals enough as it is – just imagine how I’d geek out at meeting porpoises wearing dusters and monocles and shit…. 😉
Back on topic – I’d also like to see more of said story. A whole new trench run, right there..
May 4, 2016 @ 4:11 PM
Looking forward to hearing you tonight.
May the 4th roundup: Blasters, severed hands and more | Club Jade
May 4, 2016 @ 7:46 PM
[…] Chuck Wendig shares the first line of Aftermath: Life Debt. ComicBook.com has the first look at The Force Awakens comic adaptation. It’s scripted by […]
May 4, 2016 @ 8:28 PM
Dear Chuck,
It is odd seeing “womprat” in print. Here in Australia we have the wombat. They are the genre-crossing “rodents of unusual size”. Wombats are lovely creatures and totally indestructible. If you hit one with your car … the wombat wins. We even have a tick-box on our insurance claim forms.
Please google “wombat” to chase away the demons you partially exorcised with the last post.
/tips the Akubra
Felix
May 5, 2016 @ 6:36 AM
Please write a book for every one of those first lines. I will buy them all in multiple copies and wallpaper public places with the pages.
May 5, 2016 @ 7:12 AM
When I was younger I loved seeing “stand-up”. Amazingly Mr. Wendig, while imparting information, and answering questions had probably the funniest “shtick” I had ever heard. Like all brilliant comedians, he also left the audience with much to think about. I’m a history “nerd” and am googling madly trying to find the moment that a fraction of the science fiction audiences devolved into an audience that not only did not want a more accepting future, but were repelled by it. I did appreciate his explanation that it was just a fraction of the audience that was magnified by twitter and social media. (Sorry i do not have his humor so this is an incredibly dry comment) Bottom line IF you ever get a chance to get to hear Mr. Wendig speak do so…if only to hear about the insects and sheds.
May 5, 2016 @ 1:41 PM
Darn it, now I want to be American! Can you move your entire continent a little closer west, please, just for a bit? Ta muchly. 🙂
May 5, 2016 @ 6:11 PM
I’ll be very disappointed if Poe and Finn don’t end up together. The ‘chemistry’ between Rey and Finn is of the best buddies sort.
May 5, 2016 @ 10:54 PM
Consider that shit pre-ordered.
May 6, 2016 @ 8:24 AM
Sort of related (but admittedly only loosely, in a it’s-kind-of-the-movies way) I was doing some internet research for my w-i-p today and, as part of that, came across this – and I was like, “What the WHAAAAATTT….?”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fDAexTmvgrM
Were you aware you had a doppelganger, Chuck? 😉
Star Wars Bits: Mark Hamill Shares a Few Stories, a New ‘Star Wars’ Video Game Is Announced, and the Original Role of Boba Fett is Revealed | Trips & Tricks
May 6, 2016 @ 5:46 PM
[…] June 12. Author Chuck Wendig celebrated Star Wars Day by sharing the first line of the book on his personal blog and after more than a few jokes and false starts, it was revealed to […]
Star Wars Bits: Mark Hamill Shares a Few Stories, a New ‘Star Wars’ Video Game Is Announced, and the Original Role of Boba Fett is Revealed | Fishstream TV
May 6, 2016 @ 6:08 PM
[…] June 12. Author Chuck Wendig celebrated Star Wars Day by sharing the first line of the book on his personal blog and after more than a few jokes and false starts, it was revealed to […]
Star Wars Bits: Mark Hamill Shares a Few Stories, a New ‘Star Wars’ Video Game Is Announced, and the Original Role of Boba Fett is Revealed - Next Big Film
May 6, 2016 @ 6:15 PM
[…] 12. Author Chuck Wendig celebrated Star Wars Day by sharing the first line of the book on his personal blog and after more than a few jokes and false starts, it was revealed to […]
May 7, 2016 @ 4:14 AM
Hi Chuck, I hope you’ll see this here…. I just came across it and was kind of surprised you hadn’t thought of it first 😀 Thought you might enjoy it.
cheers,
Cajetane
http://www.upworthy.com/a-dad-dressed-as-darth-vader-to-wake-up-his-son-the-kids-reaction-is-pure-star-wars?c=ufb1
May 7, 2016 @ 5:28 AM
Hi Chuck
Will Life debt have interludes like Aftermath 1?
May 8, 2016 @ 10:04 AM
“The Rodian was dead as hell.”
SE LIBERA LA PRIMERA LÍNEA DE STAR WARS AFTERMATH: LIFE DEBT. – Star Wars Fan Club Yucatan Star Wars Fan Club Yucatan
May 9, 2016 @ 9:41 PM
[…] paces” Si nos preguntan diremos que es tremenda línea… Fuente: Terrbile Minds http://terribleminds.com/ramble/2016/05/04/happy-star-wars-day-and-may-the-fourth-be-with-you/ […]