Happy Star Wars Day, And May The Fourth Be With You


GET IT

BECAUSE IT’S MAY

AND IT’S THE FOURTH

OF MAY

AND THERE’S THAT THING THEY SAY

IN THOSE MOVIES

MAY THE FORCE — snicker — BE WITH YOU

MAY THE FOURTH — tee hee — BE WITH YOU

I DIDN’T INVENT THE JOKE

BUT IT’S A GOOD ONE

anyway

So!

To celebrate May the 4th, as you may know, I’ll be at the Cherry Hill Library tonight, and you can nab tickets here or, I assume, come by and buy tix at the door. I’ll talk Star Wars and other stuff and sign books and do a nude performance art piece to the Ewok’s YUB NUB song, slowed down as if in a David Lynch movie. And maybe I’ll talk a little bit about Life Debt, too. 🙂

Speaking of Life Debt, I’ve been given clearance to give away one tiny little piece of the book — an itty-bitty amuse-bouche of information, which is to say, the first sentence of the first chapter.

Which is…

wait for it

wait for it

waaaaaaaait for it

spoiler space

spoiler warning

SPOILER ALERT –!

“A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…”

SEE WHAT I DID THERE

DO YOU

SEE IT

okay fine, jeez, no sense of humor around here — tough crowd.

Here, then, is the first sentence of Life Debt‘s chapter one:

“Luke Skywalker vigorously drank a tall glass of blue milk, kicked a womprat, and died.”

Wait, no, that can’t be right.

“Call me Obi-Wan.”

huh, no — shit, wait, is this it?

“Malakili rolls over and sits up –“

GODDAMNIT, NO, hold on, hold on — *ruffles through papers*

“It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single Kowakian Monkey-Lizard in possession of a jaunty hat must be in want of a Hutt…”

NO NO NO NO

I’m sorry for wasting your time, hold on, just sit still.

Oh. Here it is:

“Poe Dameron and FN-2187 study each other’s bodies the way a navigator studies a star chart in the dark…”

WAIT DAMNIT that isn’t right either, sorry, that one is from my, erm, private collection.

Ah!

Ah.

Here it is.

The for-realsies, totally-legit, honest-to-Yoda first sentence of the first chapter of Life Debt:

“Leia paces.”

THANK YOU, GOOD NIGHT

Hope to see some of you tonight in New Jersey.

Life Debt comes out on July 12th, so pre-order now: Indiebound | B&N | Amazon

(And while you’re at it — don’t forget to check out Bloodline!)


20 responses to “Happy Star Wars Day, And May The Fourth Be With You”

    • Could you maybe introduce me to these scientifically inclined porpoises? I love sea mammals enough as it is – just imagine how I’d geek out at meeting porpoises wearing dusters and monocles and shit…. 😉

      Back on topic – I’d also like to see more of said story. A whole new trench run, right there..

  1. Dear Chuck,

    It is odd seeing “womprat” in print. Here in Australia we have the wombat. They are the genre-crossing “rodents of unusual size”. Wombats are lovely creatures and totally indestructible. If you hit one with your car … the wombat wins. We even have a tick-box on our insurance claim forms.

    Please google “wombat” to chase away the demons you partially exorcised with the last post.

    /tips the Akubra

    Felix

  2. Please write a book for every one of those first lines. I will buy them all in multiple copies and wallpaper public places with the pages.

  3. When I was younger I loved seeing “stand-up”. Amazingly Mr. Wendig, while imparting information, and answering questions had probably the funniest “shtick” I had ever heard. Like all brilliant comedians, he also left the audience with much to think about. I’m a history “nerd” and am googling madly trying to find the moment that a fraction of the science fiction audiences devolved into an audience that not only did not want a more accepting future, but were repelled by it. I did appreciate his explanation that it was just a fraction of the audience that was magnified by twitter and social media. (Sorry i do not have his humor so this is an incredibly dry comment) Bottom line IF you ever get a chance to get to hear Mr. Wendig speak do so…if only to hear about the insects and sheds.

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