You Have Permission Not To See Batman Vs. Superman

Let’s talk about my grandmother for a minute.

My grandmother — Gram — was the kind of person to go to a restaurant, enjoy all or part of her meal, and upon completion, try to pilfer everything that wasn’t nailed down. I don’t mean that she was a thief; she took things that were from the meal or were in some way meal-adjacent. She’d take the fuck out of some rolls, for one. If there was a basket of rolls, she would upend them into her purse like a sack of bread boulders. She’d take paper napkins. Plastic forks. She’d take salt — if she had any kind of receptacle, she would put salt into it.

She was also the type at home and at the grocery store to ask for bread ends, or the unwanted ends of meat and cheese from the deli counter, or day-old bakery products.

And as a kid, I had no idea what this was about. And adults didn’t really care to explain it because frequently adults just don’t explain shit to kids. (We take an opposite approach here at Ye Olde Wendighaus. We tell B-Dub pretty much everything, and he can choose to absorb that information or let it bounce off him like hail on roof shingles.) Of course, by now a lot of you have already figured out why my grandmother was like this:

She lived through the Great Depression.

Hoarding bread was not some mental glitch; she came from a time when bread and other essentials were scarce. Further, she gazed upon the bounty in the center of the table — a whole goddamn basket of the stuff she was once denied — and then must’ve wondered why exactly we didn’t all gorge on it. WE WERE LETTING PRECIOUS BREAD PRODUCTS GO TO WASTE. So, she saved them. As if they were shelter puppies. Shelter puppies you slather in butter and then eat.

Let’s fast-forward to, well, right now.

Right now, today, a movie has come out — and if you read the reviews from critics and audience members, you will learn that this is less a movie and more a war crime against cinema. Reviews greasy with precious, snarky schadenfreude (snarkenfreude?) confirm for us what we long suspected: Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice breaks the Geneva convention and tortures its audiences for well over two hours with an incoherent, grim, babbling mess. It is reportedly not just a dumpster fire, but a dumpster full of diapers that are themselves full of the runny diarrhea from toddlers force-fed too much leafy green slurry and only then is the dumpster set on fire just before said dumpster is dropped from a helicopter onto an orphanage containing children who should have one day have become the best of us. Batman v. Superman is by many reports the worst thing ever. It is worse than an Adam Sandler comedy. It is worse than biting rats in a jockstrap. It is worse than nipple rot. It is worse than your Mom pegging your Dad on your childhood bed. It is worse than than the worst thing you can imagine right now.

And you don’t have to go see it.

The warnings are clear. People are standing at the edge of a precipice, waving torches, trying to get you to realize that the bridge is out. The river is rising. You can stop your car, turn around, and go home — you don’t have to drive your care full-speed ahead into the watery gorge.

Now, I think I know why it is that people feel the need to see this movie. It’s a many-tiered problem. First, it’s like my grandmother with the Great Depression (and yes, I realize I am straining this metaphor and totally dismissing what my grandmother went through ha ha ha oops sorry Gram just trying to make a NERD POINT here). For a long time we went without a bevy of great comic book movies. I mean, not entirely, of course, but growing up I think there was… what? Tim Burton’s Batman? Christopher Reeves as Superman? And that was it? Both great films in their own way, but the pickings were meager. Now, though, the pickings are far from slim. Superhero movies are like Starbucks — there’s one on every corner. Some of them are dogshit, but some of them are sublime, and they’re not just in the movie theaters. They’re on TV and Netflix and in video games and they’re even manifesting in this new technology called “comic books.” Comic book properties are like bread on the table — we have such a bounty I’m surprised they’re not bringing them to us free with other movies.

The other thing is, for a long time geeks have felt marginalized. Geek culture was geek culture precisely because it was not mainstream, but because it wasn’t mainstream we endured that warring feeling of a) knowing about the fun awesome geeky stuff while b) wanting also to be cool and mainstream and something-something Tiger Beat. Now, though, the script is flipped. GEEK IS COOL (which one could argue means it’s not even geeky anymore). The biggest properties and franchises out there have often been geeky things, but they have achieved a powerful saturation level. Batman Vs. Superman isn’t some niche pic. It’s a tentpole release. And not the “geek counterprogramming” release, either — it’s not the one genre film in a sea of manly action films and rom-coms. It’s thrust firmly in a year of new Star Wars and Civil War and X-Men and Warcraft and Suicide Squad.

The geek may not have inherited the Earth, but we damn sure inherited Hollywood.

So, this is a permission slip — you don’t have to go see Batman v. Superman. You aren’t obligated. There is no surfeit of good entertainment out there. This isn’t the meager crumb-scrabble of bread to feed your geek leanings for the next year. This is just a shitty hamburger on a table full of better hamburgers. You don’t even need to see it to be part of geek culture. This doesn’t look to be adding anything interesting to the conversation except the joyless snarkenfreude-flavored obligation of reviewers and fans who just want to take a clever winky snarling shit on something. (And hey, you do you. We all need those precious Internet Clicks to live.) If you want to see the movie, more power to you. Go forth. Enjoy. Hopefully Zack Snyder doesn’t just pop out of the screen every five minutes to spit in your eyes. I hear Wonder Woman is cool and Batfleck is pretty proper. But don’t go because you feel obligated.

Ain’t nobody got time for that. Or the money, actually, since going to the movies costs the approximate value of Detective Comics #1. Feel free to go do something else.

Maybe, I dunno, read a comic book…


  • So I’ll say real quick I’m still excited for this movie since the feedback from critics I admire has been more, “I want to hate fuck this movie but I also want to make sweet sweet love to this movie SO CONFLICTED. ” (I’m fully prepared to both love it and hate it).

    But aside from that, this post kind of applies to me and a ton of other nerd movies. I’m just…burn out on a few franchises, especially since I end up finding a lot of films lately just varying degrees of “okay.” I hate feeling bored or underwhelmed. A few friends acted like I committed a nerd crime by skipping out on Ant Man and the Fantastic Four reboot (if only to hate watch it) but I’m okay with it.

  • I started watching season 2 of Daredevil on Netflix. I asked Erika if she wanted to watch it with me since she’s a fan of Jon Bernthal, and she enjoyed Jessica Jones. And she was all, “Yeah, I liked season one.” I replied, “You saw season one of Daredevil?” (She’s not into comix in any way.) She responded, “Duh, I watched it with you.) Apparently my wife is more geeky than I gave her credit for…

  • I had a discussion a while back with a game-industry colleague (Chris Pramas? Not sure now — the memory, it’s the first thing to go) about how our generation of nerd-dom is also genetically wired to go bankrupt now, because of the sheer proliferation of Cool Geek Shit that’s available for sale, with diabolical ease.

    Back in Our Day (he said, cane shaking), there wasn’t much Cool Geek Shit to be had — and what little there was was difficult to acquire. It was like buried treasure. If you happened to come across something in the wild, you lost your mind and bought that shit pronto (assuming you had the scratch), because chances are you’d never see it again.

    Now, though? More stuff that you’re even aware of is being made available every day, and it’s all not only findable, but purchasable, without ever leaving the confines of your house. But our Nerd Brains are still wired for that dopamine reward for Acquiring The Rare Thing — much in the same way that modern human brains are still wired to binge on fat, salt, carbs and sugar, even though we’re no longer stockpiling energy for a potentially deadly winter.

    So we still want ALL THE THINGS, even though there are now more Things than we could possibly use, and some of them aren’t that good. (A lot of the old stuff wasn’t good, either, but was given a letter-grade bump by virtue of scarcity).

    Kids these days, with their Jalopies and their Hot Jazz… [goes back to yelling at clouds]

    • It’s like sugar. We’re programmed to consume as much of it as possible because it was in short supply. Now it’s in everything, but we’re still hard-wired to eat, eat, eat.

    • Plus, if you spend any amount of time on the internet you’re bound to come across that cool geek shit again and again, and be continually tempted to buy it.

      – Nate, editor of The Digital Reader

    • Before I was born and my parents still had money my dad spent way too much for an R2-D2 cookie jar. An embarrassing, undisclosed amount of money. If you looked at it sideways you could actually hear his eyeballs tense up.

    • I can’t even count how many geeky t-shirts I have. I think there are 12 Firefly related shirts, alone, in my closet and that’s not even the most prolific topic. I’m pretty sure my kid’s entire college fund is currently slowly being eaten by moths.

  • March 25, 2016 at 9:28 AM // Reply

    I’m planning on seeing it. Partially because reviews have been poor. Those reviews, however, seem mainly coming from a crew that is supremely offended by Snyder’s take on Superman. And I agree with them; a Superman that kills just isn’t the same. I’m interested, however, in the possibility that this film addresses the consequences of the disaster-porn that these types of films have become. (Also looking forward to how Cival War addresses this.)

    And for Wonder Woman.

    • I’m thinking that whoever complains about Supes killing someone in this movie should automatically lose their nerd cred. That or they’re under the age of 30.

      Superman kills someone in Superman II. Yep, Reeve. Yep, General Zod. Yep.

      …Let me guess. “But that was different.” Not really. He knew he’d weakened Zod and he knew he could knock him into last week and he did it anyway. Just because he wasn’t frowny and emo doesn’t change the outcome.

  • Well, I’ve never been much of a Superman fan, or a Batman fan, for that matter. However, I do like Ben Affleck and I have since Dogma days. Plus, despite the nasty reviews scurrying around the internet like little rats, family members who have seen the movie were very pleased with it. So, if I find the time, I’ll be going, too. Besides, I think we need to support the idea of having female lead superhero characters. Cause as much as I enjoy the beefcake, the damn dialog can be a bit of a drag.

  • March 25, 2016 at 10:15 AM // Reply

    Geeks have been the arbiters of culture since the 1990s (Tarantino… Kevin Smith…). Additionally, mainstream movies have been “comic book” movies of one type or another since the 1980s (read William Goldman’s Adventures in the Screen Trade for an early rant on the subject).

  • Thank you. I don’t want to see this movie. I am thankful for those waving lanterns and yelling the bridge is out. As much as I love the kettle korn at my favorite theatre, this one I am relieved now to pass.

  • BM vs. SM (oog… the implications) is NOT GEEK, he screams screamingly. If they spend >$400m on a movie its mainstream, baby. Now should a 17 yo organic cookie dough freak duct-tape a Samsung Galaxy 3 to the butt of his pet chicken and shoot a video for his blog… well, that’s kinda geeky.

  • March 25, 2016 at 10:44 AM // Reply

    Why won’t you publish my original comment? Are you unable to take constructive criticism?

    (Quick Internet check: Yes, Chuck Wendig is QUITE unable to take constructive criticism).

  • My li’l town here has $5 matinee on Wednesdays. I saw Zootopia recently and it’s one of the only way I see other new movies this way — otherwise I never see them (too expensive, as you say). Next week’s matinee is Batman vs. Superman, for which I had ZERO interest in. But this week I saw the trailer in the theatre and am curious. And for a $5 ($7.50 if you count the lemonade and small popcorn I buy — perks of living in the sticks) Artist’s Date, BATMAN VS. SUPERMAN might be fun to deconstruct at the very least, yes?

  • March 25, 2016 at 11:49 AM // Reply

    2015 was the year I stopped watching comic book movies and started reading comic books. Ok, so this mostly had to do with me having a small child and having no time to go to the movies or watch them at home, but I also feel like they are being done to death, with diminishing returns. Also, in translating them to a mass audience, the filmakers sometimes ignore the stuff that made the comics interesting in the first place. Which isn’t to say that the first x-men or the dark knight batman movies or guardians of the galaxy or the first spiderman or the first avengers weren’t awesome movies. But I don’t feel the need to see every permutation. And this one just seems like a joyless POS. I’d rather read the new batgirl.(not to yuck anyone’s yum, as we say to my three-year-old).

  • I scored a free pass to see it last night. It’s not quite the war crime the critics are saying, but it’s not great. There’s a good superhero movie in there somewhere, but it’s obscured by the four other movies they were trying to make at the same time. It has a few moments here and there (Jeremy Irons’ world-weary, “I’m sick of Master Wayne’s bullshit” Alfred was my personal favorite).

    • I’m gonna go out on a limb and disagree with most of the critics. This was by no means the incoherent mess it’s being labeled as. It merely makes the “mistakes” of taking some chances and of not spoon-feeding the audience every little detail. It’s big and complicated. You have to figure a few things out for yourself, just as you need to be able to cope with alternate takes on characters that have been reinvented countless times. Comic book fans are supposed to be GOOD at that, right?

      Of course it’s not perfect. There are a couple of scenes that could be removed without damaging the story, and I’m pretty sure one of those was shot purely to make trailer-friendly action footage that didn’t give away the plot. A crucial development hinges on pure, gossamer-thin coincidence. Doomsday is more like a cross between Hulk and Godzilla than the original incarnation that killed Superman for no coherent reason. People in charge do stupid things because they’re irrational and/or don’t know any better. Yeah, there are faults.

      On the other hand…

      Eisenberg as Luthor is certainly an unconventional take, but in no way is it an unrealistic one. In fact, if you look back at Luthor’s 1960 origin story, there are striking similarities. (And thank Mercy he’s not hanging out with Ned Beatty and scheming over real estate YET AGAIN!) He’s not at all the ineffectual fanboy-substitute the trailers make him look like – he’s just “ADHD tech genius” instead of “stodgy CEO.” And even that… well. I’ll just say that this movie shows why he’s a worthy nemesis, because anything more would require spoilers.

      Diana is attractive without being a sex object, and her fight scenes are amazing. Her weapons aren’t mere decoration, and she (gasp, shock, faint!) outsmarts Bruce. I cannot WAIT to see the backstory that was hinted at. Want her movie NOW.

      I haven’t heard this much wailing about a Batman casting choice since Michael Keaton. I said the same thing about casting Affleck that I did about casting Keaton, and I was right both times. Rumor is we’ll get a standalone Batfleck movie – good! At least he won’t be another Clooney who SMILES in the cowl.

      Superman is an ALIEN. Remember that, folks. He only LOOKS human. Don’t confuse him for one just because he grew up on a farm. He lives in a paper-mache world populated by the impossibly fragile; it’s inevitable that once in a while, no matter how careful he is, he’ll break stuff. It’s completely understandable that this terrifies some people and makes others worship him like a god. Welcome to reality. Bright four-color panels tend to get smudged and scuffed here. Enjoy your stay.

      It’s not Avengers-level, and it asks the viewer to put in some work, but all in all… I’m looking forward to getting the Blu-ray and watching the extended cut. There are some scenes I definitely want to look at in more detail, and now that I’ve seen the whole movie, I want to see how clearly some of the clues planted in earlier scenes come through in retrospect.

      • I’m with you on this – I honestly loved the film and I wasn’t expecting to like it at all. I thought Eisenberg was *incredible* and if there’s a Batfleck movie coming up, count me in. (also YAY EZRA MILLER for FLASH!!!)

        I felt like the film had its hand on the pulse of what’s happening right now, at least with people my age – the spiritual, emotional, and political turmoil of where we are right now.

        I know I’m in the minority among critics (I’ll be reviewing the film later this week), but damn – I haven’t resonated with a superhero movie this strongly since (yet another lesser-liked superhero film) Iron Man 3. I connected with this film a lot more than I did Avengers, and Avengers is pretty near perfect writing-wise.

  • I haven’t been paying much attention but I saw a trailer the other day that made it clear the two “heroes” go up against one another, and I just shook my head. I loved most of the batman movies in the last 2 decades, and the original superman flicks, and I can believe each in their own world. I’ve written about the Loch Ness Monster being real, about real werewolves, leprechauns and ghosts from a scientist’s viewpoint. But even pretending batman could stand up to Superman is just bullshit to me. Batman V Spiderman? perhaps. batman v ironman? believable. Anyone outside of Kyrpton V Superman? dodgy. Very dodgy.

    • “But even pretending batman could stand up to Superman is just bullshit to me.”

      It’s based in part on a Frank Millier comic from the 1980s, and you’re right in that BM couldn’t win. He doesn’t, in the comic book.

      • Glad he doesn’t win in the comic book – do I have to worry that he does in this flick? He should be beaten like a real bat going up against a peregrine falcon. A peregrine with x-ray vision of course…

        • I’ve seen BMvSM, and to be honest I think you should instead see the animated adaptation of that Frank Miller comic:

          I think the cartoon is better. It is truer to Miller’s story, and doesn’t try to mash in a different Superman story into the same space ( which is left unnamed due to spoilers).

          But yes, you should be worried that Batman wins in BMvSM.

        • Not that this movie is worth defending, and an apology to anyone spoiled by this news, but Batman is fighting in a powered armor suit, and he has weaponized Kryptonite (a spear tipped with the stuff and some really effective gas bombs) that levels the playing field. Of all the things wrong with this movie, the actual mechanics of the fight are pretty solid.

          • March 27, 2016 at 5:23 PM //

            Most insightful comment (apart from Chuck’s kickstarter) of the discussion thus far.

          • May 10, 2016 at 5:28 PM //

            I think the most realistic fight between these two was in the Batman: Hush storyline. Batman states that even with a kryptonite ring and Kevlar reinforced gloves if he keeps punching Superman he’s going to break his hand.

  • My problem with not seeing it is less wanting to revel in all things geeky but that if I DON’T see it, I might miss something fun in a future movie I DO want to see. I’m eager for the Wonder Woman movie, but if I don’t see her first appearance in BvS, will I miss something? Ant Man is going to be in Civil War, right? But I didn’t see Ant Man in his own movie so maybe I won’t get something. And I had to go see Winter Soldier to keep watching AoS… It’s dastardly clever to make me see all the things if I want to see any of the things.

  • What freaks me out is that DC (in the form of Berlanti, Kreisberg, and associates) are putting out mostly good and sometimes great DC super heroics on TV and have been for years now, but I hate the movies DC has been doing. It’s even weirder because those guys failed (for me) at Green Lantern (or perhaps they learned from that failure).

    I’m letting this one slide, like I let the last one slide. I just don’t trust Snyder to do the right things with the characters and the people waving torches have told me that he’s untrustworthy.

    Let me know when they stop talking about Snyderverse and give the reins to Berlanti or Paul Dini, and I’ll take another look.

  • Thank you. Is it as bad as the Batman and Robin starring George Clooney, the guy who plays G on NCISLA? It was so bad when I found it, I stayed waiting for the tv series wordplay on the Electric Company, but it didn’t even have that. You know, BOOM, SMACK, WHACK, FLACK, SLAM, BAM… Mom always did tell us the tv was the route to depravity. Thanks for the warning. I need what braincells I have left for something,…Now what was I doing?

  • When you stretch a rubber band beyond its tensile strength what happens is the result we are seeing in this movie. Producers are to be blamed bcoz they want to earn more bucks by sabotaging the cult image that has been made by Nolan and by comics and not the mere just surviving actors who found money to act in this dismantled and fractured film. Thanks Chuck sir for a review blant but filled with black humor.

  • I don’t understand the hatred. This looks like the first decent comic book movie since Sin City. Why is everyone so quick to shit on it? Is it because they love Superman so much, and don’t like seeing him as a questionable “hero”?

    After the ridiculously brainless Avenger movies, this one looks like a breath of fresh air.

  • Dare I say it but kids today…. Do they even know what’s good any more? I mean just at look at the writing quality of Cassandra Clare’s Mortal Instruments series. and the TV series is extremely bad in it’s own way. For example a bustling institute of shadow hunters who never interact with the main characters ever, what the hell? (Okay may have gotten a bit off topic there.)

  • March 25, 2016 at 5:38 PM // Reply

    Looking to opt out but not entirely? Season One of THE FLASH on DVD presents as an alternative. American singer and actor Grant Gustin (born 1990 and formerly from the cast of GLEE) plays the Flash with a sensitive mix of pathos and grit, often standing up to bullyboy foes who possess infinitely more destructive forces than his, at times, somewhat humble abilities of simply being able to move fast.
    The Flash vs Superman in a footrace? Now there’s an even contest.

    • Also, if you want a show clearly written by people who like Superman and understand how to tell good Superman stories, Supergirl is your Kryptonian hero.

      Flash season 2 hasn’t been quite as good (seems to be getting darker) but I am optimistic for his Supergirl crossover.

  • What there is a shortage of: Good Superman films. There’s maybe two that are actually good, and Superman Returns is… okay, actually. It’s kinda slow and dull, and Superman acts really creepy sometimes (Poor Brandon Routh can’t seem to get a comic book roll where he doesn’t do some deeply problematic stuff it seems), but it’s not that bad.

    I don’t want Superman films to fail, but I kind of wanted this one to. I’d rather it turned out to actually be good, and the tone of the film was somehow just misadvertisement and it remembered how to respect Superman as a character… but I also kinda knew better. So I’m kinda glad it’s flopping. I’m confident there will be more Superman films, but hopefully, after this, there will not be more grimdark Superman films.

    Meanwhile, I spent the cost of a ticket on a Kindle version of All-Star Superman. So worth it.

  • I’m so glad that the last superhero movie I saw in the theaters was Spider-man 2 (Tobey Maguire’s, not the remake). I’ve been done with all of them. They’ve become all the same (Tim Burtons batman is still the best, although said last superhero movie I saw is great too). So I have no desire to waste my hard earned cash on this crap. And that does not make me less of a geek.

    *looks around

    *waits in line for Star Trek Beyond

    • Now Star Trek Into Darkness, that was a crime against humanity.

      Deadpool is also burdened by a lot of that sameness, but manages to be entertaining in spite of it.

  • March 25, 2016 at 6:25 PM // Reply

    What I am not reading in any of the negative reviews is … How SHOULD it be done? Skip what’s WRONG with it. Say was was GOOD about this one (can’t be 100% terrible) and say would would make it BETTER. And don’t say “don’t do it THAT way” rather, say how to do it right.

  • A Facebook friend of mine saw the movie and really enjoyed it. He said it’s not a Marvel move, but an Elseworlds movie. That makes me want to go give blood just for the free movie tickets.

  • I saw a trailer for this months ago, wondered why Superman didn’t rip Batman’s arms off and beat him to death with them in the first minute of the movie and dismissed it out of hand.

  • My husband saw it last night and really liked it. Have you seen it, Chuck, or are you just passing on other people’s warnings? I wasn’t clear from your post. I have no interest in the movie either way.

  • Hell no, I’m not wasting my money on that. It costs $22.50 per non-concession adult to buy tickets to see Batman vs Superman here in Australia. That’s not in Lux or Gold Class or anything, that’s just your regular viewing option.

    I stopped watching Spiderman, Batman and Superman movies a while ago because they rehash the same old story with new actors. I’m over reboots, relaunches and re-imaginings. I want to see new stuff and pitting two old heroes ‘against’ each other isn’t sufficiently new. For me to watch something like that would take my partner blackmailing me into watching it with him but he’s learning. Usually that ends with me asleep on the couch. :-D

    Your post reminds me of Francesca Haig’s essay “Guilty Pleasures: Twilight, snark and ironic fandom”. I wonder how many are illicitly enjoying engaging with Batman vs Superman in spite of — or *because of* — its flaws?

    • I loved it. But then, I tend to live by the “just because you don’t like something doesn’t mean it isn’t good” rule, as well as the “just because you love something doesn’t mean it’s perfect” rule. I really do think it found the pulse of what we’re worried about right now, which is a lot of how sci-fi/fantasy works – because then there’s a safe space to try things out and consider the options before making a real world decision.

  • Eh, it wasn’t very good, but by no means was it horrible. Too long. Too grim. Plot holes you could drive the cast of Max Max: Fury Road through, but I never felt tortured while watching it.

    • March 26, 2016 at 7:17 PM // Reply

      Did someone mention MAD MAX: FURY ROAD? Let’s not get started on the disappointment of that movie or we’ll be here all day.

      • MM:FR distilled the concept for an action movie down to its most basic form, and delivered what was basically a two hour long chase scene. Fury Road was the best movie of the year, hands down, and arguably one of the best of this decade. It deserved the awards it won.

        • March 26, 2016 at 8:45 PM // Reply

          To borrow Chuck’s phraseology, a movie needs ‘oxygen’ (breathing space between the action scenes) and that just wasn’t even a consideration in MAD MAX: FURY ROAD. Call me old school but I also like a little plot in my movies as well as a dash of character development. Nil on both scores for MM:FR.
          Admittedly for me it was always going to be a hard earned like since MAD MAX 2 is my favorite Australian movie of all time. Still, movies that slice,dice and divide opinion always make for interesting discussion.

          • All true.

            MM:FR is a movie that benefited from being able to pause it and reflect. I regret missing the chance to see it in theaters after I saw it at home.

    • I enjoyed it *way* more than I thought I would. I think a lot of how critics felt about it was determined before seeing the actual film. A lot of good movies have been ruined financially because of that. I think we can enjoy the film and let those who hate the idea or didn’t enjoy the experience have their opinions too – just because they don’t like it doesn’t mean it doesn’t have value. :)

  • Saw it yesterday on a whim with my wife and overall had a good time, though they could have cut a third of it out and while this isn’t as bad as The Spirit or Nipple-Batman, it’s a very problematic movie. It is very disjointed with Batman have a dream sequence every half hour or so and the scenes sometimes going nonlinear for reasons. It is constructed as a series of scenes strung together, some pretty cool, some not so much, but it never feels like a fully constructed story.

    It’s like a pantser who hates outlining somehow got his first draft thrown on screen.

    Also, it is a love letter to Dark Knight Returns, with some post-911 Crazy Frank Miller thrown in for good measure.

    More than anything else, it feels like a pilot. Some of the new characters look interesting and this world might make a good setting after all, but it was clunky as hell.

    Wonder Woman makes everything better whenever she shows up, and I liked the Lois and Clark moments, but this film is at its worse whenever Superman and Batman are together (which is unfortunate in a Batman vs Superman film).

    So yeah, clunky and perfectly missable pilot for the DCU with a story set-up that Civil War is guaranteed to do better (and that is taking its sorry from a horrible comic series, so wonder at that for a moment).

  • After a long conversation with my brothers (both geeks in their own ways) I finally realize why I wanted to see this movie. It was pretty, Zach Snyder can’t make a good movie but he also can’t make an ugly movie. All the shots were the equivalence to a cinematographer’s orgasm. And I’m not ashamed of liking a movie just for superficial reasons specially when millions of jobs and other better movies (Suicide Squad) depend on its success.

  • This movie is terrible. They’ve taken my favorite superheroes and completely ruined them for me.

    Everything from the insane casting decisions to the insanely stupid plot, is terrible. Superman kills, Eisendork plays a tweaked-out pathetically puny Lex with hair and no real motive, the guy from Gigli plays Batman, Batman has no detective skills and simply kills/steals to solve things (also, he isn’t very bright), Wonder Woman has some weird accent and doesn’t even look like Wonder Woman, The Flash looks like some Arab kid with a ponytail, Doomsday is some sort of mute CGI troll looking mess.

    All in all, I just want to thank everyone involved with this movie for utterly destroying my favorite heroes of all time. I really hope none of you ever work on DC movies again.

    P.S. The guy from Gigli as Batman???
    Jesse Eisendork as Lex Luthor???
    Seriously, what the f, man???

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