B-Dub’s First Story

He sat on my lap. “I’m writing a story!” he said. “I’m typing!”

And then he wrote:

 Nhdjyrttythjkj,./N

Qw23343dfgfghrtfghjbghnmhyjkrtyjg hmm,zAMNAMNB RTFGHBNKND FXGH JHGNMAZZVFGA

G  t aqthywqhg ab bv b

zTdxcdvxccv dcvcvvvcTQ nnz asm mz A

z tyj ybnhqdf3g3cvbv

And I assume he meant to finish with:

THEN THEY WERE ALL EATEN BY ZOMBIE CROCODILES

THE END.

Thought I’d preserve the boy’s first foray into fiction writing here on the blog. Now to spend the next 16 years convincing him that being a writer is a really, really horrible idea.

40 comments

  • The youngling is testing you, to see if he can take over the role of alpha. In response, it would be best to urinate on your laptop and books to mark them as yours.

  • Cool beans. I encourage my 5 & 11 year old to write, and the 11 yo is pretty good at it. When they were younger, I’d tell then stories of “Princess Ansley & King Daddy” made up off the cuff. I wish I’d written some of them down. I do have a folded piece of paper on my bookshelf that is the product of my 5 yo’s imagination; It’s sitting between “A storm of Swords” and “Lonesome Dove”.

  • He really nailed the “hook” — after line one, I couldnt stop reading. And his character development is pretty strong throughout. But the plot structure seems a little iffy. I’ll have to read it a few more times and see if he’s just being too subtle for me.

    Great work, B-Dub. Keep it up!

  • This made me smile. When my son this age I gave him paper and pencil and showed him how to draw. I still have his first pictures. Toady he’s an artist.

    • Last night he might have disagreed with you, when I was trying to get him to eat his — wait for it, wait for it —

      PIZZA.

      Jesus, the kid wouldn’t eat one of his favorite foods?!

      Man. Toddlers are cuckoopants.

        • Night before last he wouldn’t eat sloppy joes. A CHILDHOOD FAVORITE. He ate the broccoli on the side and picked out the red peppers from the sloppy joes — not to discard but to eat. He left the meat behind.

          And this kid loves meat.

          He’s going through a thing.

          Toddlers always are going through a thing.

      • Tommy refuses to eat anything with tomato sauce. No pizza, no spaghetti, no ravioli (and we all know Chef Boyardee puts crack in those, it’s why they’re so tasty). I feel you on the pizza thing.

      • Yeah, that sounds familiar… one of my laddie’s favourite battle cries is “I DO like {insert innocuous food item here} – but not AT HOME…” Even if it’s the EXACT SAME BRAND, served up in the exact same way…

        I’m liking B-Dub’s experimental prose though. Looks like he’s leaning towards fantasy-realism. And being impossibly cute at the same time 🙂

  • AWWWWWW.

    *goes off to study B-Dub’s prose – I think sometimes, when I’ve been overtired, I might already have dabbled in his unique style, but didn’t realize its value…*

    🙂

  • I still have stories that my kids wrote when they were little. My younger daughter wrote some pretty good screen plays for Sponge Bob and The Suite Life of Zack and Cody when she was in elementary school. One of her best Sponge Bob episodes involved a body swap and was called The Switch Gitch. Some time after she wrote it, a body swap episode aired and she was mad that someone stole her idea. Welcome to the world of Hollywood script writing… 🙂

  • January 16, 2014 at 12:26 PM // Reply

    My oldest son started writing stories about that age. He’s now 16, still writing, and I’m starting to worry me might want to be a writer. Though at least I’m modeling the important part (marry someone with a good job).

  • January 16, 2014 at 1:20 PM // Reply

    This is absolutely precious, Chuck. Your boy is adorable. Let the child be a writer if he wants. He might become a blockbuster best seller and support Mommie and Daddy with his royalties. 😉

    Either way if he does what he loves, he’ll be happier. My mother drove me toward other things (a “good” job – translated, one that made money) and I was miserable. Now I’m fighting to get out of a job I hate and into something I like better so I can write more.

    My niece wants to write and I tell her to find a day job she really likes and that will give her time to write, too. The only thing I want for her is not to be stuck with a job she hates just for the money.

    If your boy admires his Dad and wants to do what Daddy does, why not? 🙂

  • Writer’s kids are awesome, if I do say so, myself!

    In August our 9 year-old nephew came to stay with us for a week. I was in the middle of drafting our WIP, and, inspired by our little dog, he wanted in on the action, too. So he got my partner (and writing partner) to help him write his first story. My post on our Facebook author page that day was this –

    “Once upon a time my writer mother would have me tell her stories while she typed them out for posterity. I’m sure that she still has a copy of “Ghosty Ghost” around somewhere. Right now behind me Jennifer is transcribing an epic sci fi tale of mutant world destroying Japanese Chins as dictated by our 9 year-old nephew. The world turns full circle.”

    The story was amazing and imaginative, and neither Texas nor China will ever be the same.

  • The use of a period and back slash at the beginning through me a bit. After a while, however, it felt like he really settled in and began relying more on content than the caps key to get the reader’s attention.

    Excellent first effort.

  • You know the more you tell him NOT to be an author, the more likely he will try to be one. At first, to piss you off… Then later he’ll actually be trying to emulate his awesome Dad.
    But I’m sure he’ll be great at whatever he chooses. 🙂
    My 6yo likes to “write” stories with me. By this I mean she draws a picture, then ferociously dictates to Mommy, her word slave, what text should be written on the page in crayon. Then she draws another picture, dictates, and repeat until its “The End”.
    She then told me that I need to make 10 copies with my copier so she can sell them.
    The kid knows what she wants. I imagine she’ll be self-pubbing by age 12.

  • Adorable. And in ten years, he will find this blog post and write a novel about a boy whose path through life was determined by social media and the way his daddy used them. It will be called “The Doom of Sloppy Joe” and will sell millions. At least.

  • I used to have my kids submit to Writers’ Digest for their kids writing prompt contest. It was part of home schooling. One of my daughter’s submissions was actually published in the magazine. They had fun and my daughter teases me that she is published and I’m not.

  • B-DUB
    BUD-B
    RUBDUBDUB
    O
    BE-DUB
    BUDA-BE
    RUBADUBDUBE
    O
    BEE-DUB
    BUDA-BEE
    RUBADUBADUBEE
    B-DUMB
    O

    A small poem to help hello-cushion and pronounchia-chion and poetism. Just for him. Just for B-DUB.

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