On Creepy Creepers Who Creepily Creep


Earlier, there was a tweet that I retweeted and it crawled up under some skins —

That tweet was:

‘Always concerned when guys worry if their behavior at cons is “creepy.” When I go to a con, I just don’t do creepy things.’

As it’s Twitter, you have that 140-characters-has-to-carry-an-elephant’s-weight-of-meaning-and-history-and-context-and-time-and-place-and-space-and-inebriation-level.

That said, it’s a tweet I like and a tweet I agree with, but it requires one thing:

An understanding of the word creep, creepy, or creeper.

Those are words that are admittedly shortcode for something else these days — it references that very-bad-behavior by people at cons or in fandom wherein some folks (frequently men) feel it necessary to harass others (frequently women) in a mentally or emotionally or even physically threatening way.

It does not mean: awkward, or socially weird, or whatever. This is fandom. We are all in some way slightly goofy folks and we all have our foibles and of course you’re free to worry about whether or not you’re coming across right with other people. That’s normal! Totally fine! What’s not fine: sexism! Or racism! Or stalking people! Or whipping out your genitals and touching others with them! You might be saying, “Ho, ho, ho, Chuck, you so like to reference genitals in your blog post in a hyberbolic way,” except, no, no, this actually happened at PAX. This is a thing that keeps happening. And I want fandom to be safe! And inclusive! Because when it is, it’s totally rad.

This is not arguing from a place of privilege. Privilege is a wealthy white dude asking why that homeless guy doesn’t just “surf up a job on his iPad.” This is basic human contract stuff. This is Human Interaction 101 — no, you know what? This is entrance exam stuff. This is the test you should have to take before you get let out on the playground with all the other human beings.

Now, you might argue that saying something like, “Don’t be a total rapey-faced skeev-hound” is going to fall on deaf ears. One assumes I don’t have an eager audience of almost-rapists in the wings just waiting to find out which way the wind blows. I get that, and you’re right. Just the same, I wanted us all to be on the same page when we talk about creeps, creeping, and creepers.

It’s way beyond social awkwardness. If social awkwardness were a crime, cons would fail to occur in the first place. Hell, I’m always trying to put on a good impression — which is another way of saying, “I’m worrying about making a bad one.” Who isn’t? We’re all humans. We all worry about how we come across.

So, back to the original tweet:

Stop worrying about being a horrible person and, y’know, actively work on not being a horrible person.

Yay? Yay.


31 responses to “On Creepy Creepers Who Creepily Creep”

  1. I read the twitter banter which, in turn, took me to the G+ discussion where accusations of privilege flew your way. I’m sorry, but the disagreements with your RT come from a place of self-victimization – the same kind of mentality you see on display in such wonderful shows as Hoarders or Intervention. To apply that level of vitriol to a basic concept of the “social contract” as put out by someone with a strong social media presence smacks of attention-whoring.
    The anger was misplaced and fundamentally ignorant.

  2. There’s socially awkward, there’s mentally ill, there’s “normal” people being assholes and everywhere in between. At this point, I’m genuinely scared to admit (except here, because I’m making a point) that yes, I have Asperger’s syndrome and have been diagnosed as such by a medical professional. Because while sometimes it might make sense to disclose my diagnosis if I inadvertently offend someone or don’t get a joke, I almost never do, because people invariably think I’m just making it up in order to be an asshole guilt-free. What you seem to be saying, and I agree with, is to stigmatize creepy people, rather than actions that might come off as creepy when they’re innocently meant.

  3. Great post. I also think, in addition to the fact that we all have to be cognizant of our own behavior, we should be aware that there will always be a percentage of the population that is going to be a creep no matter how often we say not to. Kind of like there will always be a percentage of the population that robs liquor stores, or sexually molests giraffes. Those people can only be punished after the fact, because, hey, it’s not like we have some sort of social interaction equivalent to the TSA making us go through uncomfortably invasive screening procedures before being allowed to interact with other human beings.

  4. There’s also been a trend to allow people a “pass”; that somehow saying “I’m socially dysfunctional/awkward/Aspy/nonneuronormative” is a valid excuse for certain behaviors.

    Sorry, but at what point did that become *everybody else’s* problem, instead of the responsibility of the person themselves? We’ve apparently lost the “grow the fuck up and handle your shit” part of being a functioning adult in society.

    Giving a pass is nothing more than enabling that shit, and asking for a pass because of it is a level of self-awareness that would seem to indicate that you could just as well STOP DOING THE SHIT THAT’S A PROBLEM.

    Jus’ sayin’.

  5. ….and to clarify, lest people think that I’m an awful meany-head:

    If the problem is genuinely medical, rather than self-diagnosed can’t-be-arsed-to-learn-norms, there’s still things that the person can do — coping mechanisms, learned behaviors, etc.

    Expecting to get by with “I get to do X because I’m Y” is a bit like a person who is near-sighted expecting everybody else to give them a wide berth while driving, instead of getting corrective lenses or lasic surgery.

  6. For what it’s worth, let me pull on my galoshes and wade in here. Much as I hate to look like I’m defending OMFG NEUROTYPICAL PRIVILEGE!!!!!!!!!!! douche from that G+ thread you tweeted, I do think you guys were completely talking past each other and it didn’t make either of you look good.

    Twitter quips aside, there’s a huge middle ground between the social-phobic’s nightmare of “making one stupid comment and then everyone thinks you’re weird forever OMG SHUN HIM” and “actively, creepily pursuing someone after they’ve made it clear they don’t want to be around you and you’re freaking them out”. Obviously. But this doesn’t fit into a tweet.

    You further stepped in it by repeating yourself as if he didn’t understand and then calling him on “tone”. This is the same rhetorical shit that is used to silence people talking about privilege all the time and basically played into his persecution fantasy like it was scripted. This was a DO NOT ENGAGE situation if I’ve ever seen one.

    Finally, you explained yourself by drawing a dichotomy that I don’t think anyone really understood. “Worrying about being creepy” is the first step toward not being creepy. I don’t know that there’s anyone in the world who says “Am I being creepy? Ah, fuck it, I’m going in for the boob-honk anyway!” There are those who are self-aware enough to analyze their social actions (sometimes to a fault, if they suck at social situations) and then there are people who are just confident or sociopathic enough to never wonder about their own actions. I seriously doubt that the third, in-between group you were apparently addressing even exists, and from this third party’s perspective it seemed like a weak attempt to reestablish moral high ground.

    OMG NEUROTYPICAL PRIVILEGE!!!! douche is apparently shitty at social situations and extremely sensitive about it. He reacted badly. You reacted badly to his reacting badly. This is how Fails start. This isn’t a Fail, but it’s a great teachable moment for anyone who bothers to read the whole thing. Being at least a little anxious about how you come across in social situations is great. I wish more people were. Being paralyzed by it sucks – I should know! Talking about what makes a creeper is great. Accidentally shitting on the socially-paralyzed sucks, and telling them they shouldn’t be sensitive about it sucks more. There’s a point where you just close the tab and walk away, like I am doing now.

  7. I’m coming at this from a unique perspective in that I’m mom to a 17 year old with Aspergers Syndrome. And I think the problem is the word creepy.

    My son can’t read body language or facial expressions. He’s a highly intelligent kid who has worked hard to learn what skills he can so that he can go out in society. If you were to look at him, he looks like any other kid. But he’s not. His brain is missing critical wiring that helps neurotypical people to grasp social rules.

    Here’s the thing … Despite being well educated and knowlegeable academically, he is painfully socially inept. He has zero tact and often says offensive things without understanding theyre offensive until someone flips out on him. He is not like other kids his own age. He never will be.

    Because of his struggles ,he’s been largely ostracized and bullied by society. And yet he keeps trying. Its led to severe anxiety and depression that cripplize him in social situations. He worries constantly how he’s coming across. People call him a freak, a loser, an asshole, a creep. He is none of those things. He’s a kid who just wants to connect with someone who won’t look at him like he has two heads, call him a name and walk away.

    I wasnt bothered by the tweet or your retweet. I understood the point you were trying to make. There are creeps who set out to be creeps and make women uncomfortable at these cons. I’ve been to AnimeBoston 3 years running with my kid and I’ve seen them. I had one grab my ass on the escalator. I’ve also seen the socially awkward who most people would label creeps, but are just looking to connect with someone. With Anyone. At these gaming conventions, they are the norm. But thats the only place they can be themselves without fear of reprisal.

    Thats not the case if you see them elsewhere. Iguarantee each and every one of us has had one come up to us in a store and attempt a conversation. I go out of my way to talk to them because I know. I understand. They are my son.

    I think thats why people got upset with the tweet. Because there are so many people with social deficits who struggle to be part of society, but are constantly rejected with hateful words. Creep is one of those words for them. It wasnt your intention, but you struck a very sensitive nerve.

    Hope this helps put things in perspective for everyone. Be kind to each other.

  8. I’m basically just echoing you here, Chuck, but really, a creep is not a socially awkward person. A creep is a predator. Overly simplified examples below…

    Not-A-Creep: Person A does something Person B doesn’t like. Person B (or maybe B’s friend/s) says “don’t do that” and Person A says “oh, sorry!” and totally stops doing it.

    Creep: Person A does something Person B doesn’t like. Person B (or friend) says “don’t do that” and Person A totally DOESN’T STOP DOING IT.

    Like you’re fond of saying: Don’t be an asshat. Yay.

  9. @ElizaB —

    I concur that I probably just should’ve stayed out of it. But all told, I think I made my point pretty early on — I defined my terms that creepy was a synonym for a host of Very Bad Things, not a synonym for “socially maladjusted.”

    *shrug*

    I stand by what I said. I mean, clearly, as it lives here in this post.

    — c.

  10. I concur. And the Yay’s have it.

    And I’ll repeat my definition, that I posted on twitter and have seen it widely quoted.

    “Creepy is not just (being) awkward. Creepy is predatory self-absorbed entitled (behavior). Creepy is wanting what YOU want beyond the desires of others.”

  11. @Liz I’ve been sitting here typing and retyping, trying to figure out a way to clearly express the difference between the two, and then you came along and did it. 😉

    “Creepy is not just (being) awkward. Creepy is predatory self-absorbed entitled (behavior). Creepy is wanting what YOU want beyond the desires of others.”

    Especially the last. All of us, even the most socially inept of us, know not to touch strange people on the areas covered by a bathing suit. We know not to talk about a person’s sexual organs and proclivities – or even our own – in the middle of a conversation about comics/Dr. Who/video games/the weather/whatever. We know not to follow someone around constantly who has made it clear they aren’t interested (and for the curious, if someone walks away whenever you try to talk to them, they’re not interested), or shout out abuse at them because you’re not their type.

    We know this, because we are not in jail or the recipients of a host of restraining orders. We know this because we can hold down a job/go to school/go out in public without being beaten up or arrested for Creeper Behaviour. And so when someone complains that the socially awkward don’t know the difference, I scoff. Because the fact that every single one of those socially awkward people is _at_ a Con without a responsible adult with them at all times to make sure they don’t get themselves in trouble means that they damn well do know the difference.

    Cons are no different than any other social situation. You don’t touch without being given permission. You don’t bring up the size of your wang unless specifically asked. And you don’t abuse people – verbally or physically.

  12. > “I’m coming at this from a unique perspective in that I’m mom to a 17 year old with Aspergers Syndrome. And I think the problem is the word creepy.”

    This.

    My kids autistic, too.

    The thing is that “creepy” absolutely *does* get applied to things that aren’t sexual assault. “Creep” is broad, and it excludes people that aren’t out to be harmful. The thing is: too bad. Calling out the creep leads to some dude not getting to talk with impunity, NOT calling out the creep can lead to something far, far worse. The stakes weigh heavier in one direction.

    I get why he was upset. The truth is it isn’t fair. Life’s not fair. I did a big “attempting to explain” thing at my blog, too, but I think I just pissed him off more.

  13. Yay for totally awkward phrasing.

    > “Creep” is broad, and it excludes people that aren’t out to be harmful

    What I mean is: harmless and awkward gets labeled “creepy” as well.

  14. […] Creeps do exist, and I don’t mean the sort of guys and girls who are enthusiastic and well-meaning but don’t always say the right thing or aren’t adept at handling meeting new people or maintaining/ending conversations. I mean the ones who think it’s perfectly okay to berate people for being different, to undercut others so they can increase their own sense of superiority, or to introduce their genitals to any situation regardless of circumstances or permission of the other people involved. I’m not sure why these people are so unaware of the fact that this behavior is not okay. It’s not okay on a basic level and it’s also not okay as a means to get attention. […]

  15. I’m going to run way out on the little branches here, and present a scenario from the possible POV of the offender in the Minecraft party situation linked above. Because it’s been bugging me. Please keep in mind that this is much closer to devil’s advocate than any attempt to excuse his behavior.

    My fundamental issue here is that falling into that situation is a constant fear of mine. Like, one of the primary reasons I don’t do drugs.

    We know very, very little about the offender. He’s Asian. He’s a gamer. He’s male. That’s about it. I’m going to make the assumption that he is neurotypical, reasonably mentally fit, and simply socially awkward rather than a true outlier.

    In his daily life, he’s never gotten the girl. I’m going to guess that, among other things, he suffers from Nice Guy(TM) syndrome. And he’s never gotten self-aware enough to recognize what the problem is. But he’s intelligent enough that the hamsters in his brain are running themselves ragged trying to solve the problem.

    One day, he goes to PAX. For the first time in his life, he’s among his tribe. He feels suddenly normal, in a way that he never has before. He feels safe. He feels like all of his drawbacks no longer matter. And yet, he’s still getting shot down by girls left and right (because, hey, taking cell phone pics of their chest is not really likely to seduce them, no matter how flattering he thinks it is).

    He goes to this Minecraft party. Being socially awkward, he still can’t figure out how parties work. He tries to compensate by drinking. This is a Bad Idea(TM), but he doesn’t know that yet.

    He spots a girl in the corner. He goes over to chat her up. She doesn’t tell him to go away. Score! Shields go down, and he engages. More precisely, the filter between his brain and his mouth goes down, and those hamsters that have been going crazy start spewing forth all kinds of inanities. The girl still doesn’t leave, and doesn’t tell him to shut up. This may, in fact, be the most positive conversation he’s ever had with a pretty girl.

    Thanks to our good friend Mr. Alcohol, all kinds of things misfire in his brain, and he leaps to the conclusion that this is a girl he can actually ask anything. She’s a friend now. (Anybody who tells me they’ve never done this when drunk has either never gotten drunk, or blacked out.) And, given how pretty she is, she’s clearly been with other guys. This is a perfect opportunity to ask the question that’s always bothered him.

    While some sane, sober, normal part of his brain is screaming in absolute terror, the drunk hamsters at the wheel make him ask his new best friend if his dick is big enough.

    The girl leaps up, screams “Bad Touch!”, and runs away. Depending on the guy, one of two things happens: Instant sobriety crashes down, he realizes what he’s done, and actively contemplates suicide; He begins to rationalize the girl as a bitch who was only pretending to be his friend before betraying him, and rewrites his memories of the encounter to paint himself as the victim.

    Again, I want to reiterate that none of this is intended to excuse his behavior. What he did was wrong, period. I’m just saying that maybe, just maybe, we can look at him and say, “There, but for the grace of God, go I”.

    • @Lugh —

      I have never once thought to sexually molest someone while drunk. Nor have I done anything like that without thinking.

      I mean, I get it — people do things and sometimes it’s a thing we should attempt to understand instead of castigate, but this isn’t one of those things. Not to me, anyway.

      Self-awareness, too — y’know, this is what I mean by social contract. Even IN geek circles this stuff is rote. It’s not new information. This has been going around and around and we’re all the more connected and this is really obvious information. Even while piss-drunk, I think.

      — c.

  16. “There’s also been a trend to allow people a “pass”; that somehow saying “I’m socially dysfunctional/awkward/Aspy/nonneuronormative” is a valid excuse for certain behaviors.
    Sorry, but at what point did that become *everybody else’s* problem, instead of the responsibility of the person themselves? We’ve apparently lost the “grow the fuck up and handle your shit” part of being a functioning adult in society.”

    Ditto… completely ditto.

    We can probably trace a lot of this back to when people starting patting the kids on the back and saying… it’s okay, everybody is a winner, everybody gets a trophy and it’s all going to be A-OK.

    At some point in time over the past few decades, we stopped making people own up to their failures and try to overcome them.

    Now we’re dealing with the results.

  17. @Lugh: “While some sane, sober, normal part of his brain is screaming in absolute terror, the drunk hamsters at the wheel make him ask his new best friend if his dick is big enough.”

    He didn’t do just that. What he did was grab the girl by the wrist and place her hand on his dick, _which was outside of his pants_.

    I don’t care how drunk and socially awkward someone is, _everyone_ knows that is _not_ appropriate behaviour. We all learn about it as small children and it’s reiterated every day through normal day-to-day interactions where it is not okay to make someone touch your penis.

    So your attempt to play Devil’s Advocate fails completely. He whipped it out and made her touch it. He totally would have known that was not on. End of story.

  18. Don’t see how this can even inspire an argument. I think most of us are willing to make the proper allowances for the socially maladroit. Hell, I’ve got a son with Autism and another with Asperger’s, I understand awkward. But there is a pretty clear distinction between awkward and malicious, and even my sons seem to understand that.

    Whatever it is you’re going to do, if you wouldn’t want someone to do it to you, then don’t do it. Whatever gender- or race- or sexual-prefernce-based comment you’re about to make, if it would piss you off were it directed at you (or your sister or brother or mother), then don’t make it – and maybe stop and ask yourself why you feel compelled to make a comment based on gender or race or orientation anyway.

    It seems like there’s a small contingent of people that want to keep the line between apporpriate and inappropriate behavior as blurry as possible just so they don’t have to bother monitoring or controlling themselves. Or maybe because they just want to do creepy shit, and they are trying to build a new social construct that allows for it.

    There’s also a little bit of a “what happens at the con stays at the con” mentality at work here. Sure, the rules at cons are, and ought to be, a little looser than those in a lot of other gatherings. Salty language is to be expected. Folks are going to get a little liquored up. And everybody that’s there is there because they are passionate about the material, so opinions are going to be expressed, sometimes forcefully. If you’re the type who’s likely to be easily offended by the free and robust interchange of ideas, especially the liquor-lubed free and robust interchange of ideas, then maybe a con is not the place for you.

    But that doesn’t mean all bets are off, people.

    I’m not arguing for puritanical rigidity that restricts free speech or that seeks to leash the ecentric or colorful. I’m arguing against the selfish narcissism that says indulging all my own urges outweighs everyone else’s right to live in a civil society.

    So yeah. Don’t be a creep. Don’t be an asshole. Don’t pretend you don’t know what that means. And, if you choose to be a creep or an asshole, stop acting surprised or offended when you are called out for your behavior.

    ‘Nouf said.

  19. Shiloh said, “At some point in time over the past few decades, we stopped making people own up to their failures and try to overcome them.”

    This phrase wouldn’t be as much of a problem if it wasn’t preceded by essentially saying (by agreeing with Gareth) that people with Asperger’s and other nonneuronormative issues are, or should be, included in this group of people who apparently don’t own up to their “failures.”

    I think that what has been said about creepiness and who qualifies as a creeper SHOULD, by definitions given, exclude social awkwardness/social dysfunction/Asperger’s/nonneuronormative behavior (outside of, say, psychopathology). The PROBLEM seems to be that “creep” is applied by “normal” people to ANYONE who exhibits “nonnormal” behavior, rather than sticking to the definitions given. So that now, people with nonnormative functioning are getting nailed with a label that applies ONLY to people engaging in entitled, predatory behavior, because people with normative functioning don’t want to deal with the difficulties and discomfort that can be associated with engaging with non-creeper-but-socially-awkward people.

    So, a creep is someone who engages in predatory/illegal behavior with an unwilling “partner.” Which means we need to stop using it in any other context. A creep is NOT someone who is simply socially inept. And a person with Asperger’s or any other neuropathology that makes it difficult to understand social cues, etc, has NOT “failed.” In fact, it sounds like previous commenters have gone to lengths to help themselves or others close to them who DO have these struggles to function as “normally” as possible in social situations.

    There’s a difference between engaging in entitled, bratty behavior because you always got trophies and all the adults around you thought you shouldn’t have to own up to or offer reparation for mistakes you made growing up, and engaging in socially awkward behavior because your brain genuinely cannot comprehend social cues and/or engage the brain/mouth filter on a consistent basis. Telling people with genuinely nonnormative functioning that it’s all on them and that they just “need to get their shit together,” or that they need to “own up to their failures and try to overcome them,” is like telling a deaf person that they need to listen harder, or like not making enough room for a person in a wheelchair to squeeze past you because they take up more space than a walking person. At that point, it makes it about YOU, and not about working TOGETHER to meet each other at a reasonable point in your interactions. Suddenly, YOU’VE become the bratty, entitled person expecting everyone else to conform to your expectation of “normal,” regardless of how well the other person can fit that mold.

  20. I can not believe that this topic has generated so much flak. It seems clear to me. Dude pulled out his winkus, grabbed a girl’s hand and forced her to touch said winkus. (I am still waiting for the part of the story where she turns winkus into a bloody stump.) Not cool, banned from Cons for life, and the police will be contacting you shortly.

  21. That is not just bad con behavior, that is a crime. He’s a wanker who touched his wanker to someone who didn’t want to touch the wanker. He needs prison time. Then he’ll know all about being approached unacceptably.

    Course all my time in PR — if I was with PAX, we’d be working hard to separate our name from a “private party.” If I was Minecraft, I’d be finding the asshat and pressing charges and making sure that Kye is taken care of appropriately (and sounds like he might be doing that).

  22. Because, as Chuck stated, the majority of his fans are not creeps, this comment goes to those of us who have dealt with creeps.
    I’ve been to several cons, had a fantastic time and met really cool people, but I’ve also met some creeps. When somebody (usually a guy, but sometimes a girl) does something that makes me uncomfortable or says something I find offensive, I ask them not to do it again. Somebody who is NOT a creep will say something like, “oh, sorry, I didn’t know” and then not do it again. Somebody who is a creep will try to make you feel dumb, or like a humorless bitch, and they’ll do/say it again. That’s when I tell them I’m leaving because they did/said it around me when I already asked them not to. Usually, I’ll get called a name or have “jeez, I was kidding! Can’t you take a joke?!?” flung at me. I sucks because to everyone who wasn’t there from the beginning, I look like I’m some fem-nazi who really can’t take a joke.
    But you know what? The way we make this world SAFE for ourselves is by making it UNSAFE for rapists, harassers, and yes, creepers. We do that by not putting up with sexist crap or unsafe/creepy behavior.

  23. Re: cons. A perfect example of creepy vs socially awkward. The crowds of people offering free hugs. It makes me uncomfortable, but I would class that more as socially awkward behaviour. The members of those crowds that try to give you univited hugs as you walk past, are creeps.

    Also, I think people can exhibit creepy behaviour without necessarily being creeps. For example, the intense / total lack of eye contact that Aspies* often exhibit might be seen as ‘creepy’ in the sense that it can make people really uncomfortable, but it doesn’t make them creeps.

    What I think makes someone a creep is that total disregard for other people’s privacy/personal space/bodies/boundries, the idea that the creep’s wants, desires or impulses are more important than the other person’s comfort or even their basic rights.

    *I feel the need to point out that I use the term Aspie lovingly.

  24. I think the problem is the use of the word creepy/creep, as opposed to to more correct term of predator.
    It’s the emotion and reaction that changes when you call someone a predator as opposed to a creep.

    And obviously this is all my opinion….
    But when someone says “Oh, Joe was being creepy.” It tends to send the message that Joe may not realize he was behaving inappropriately or the person making the judgement isn’t quite sure how they felt about Joe. It’s sort of a vague wishy-washy statement. From my experiences “Stop being a creeper” or “Don’t be creepy” isn’t really a firm statement, it’s sort of followed by a silent LOL. Like “Haha, you’re not that funny” or “Jeez, talk about a dweeb.”

    What people really mean (in serious situations) is “You’re acting like a predator and I’m skeeved right the hell out, leave and don’t ever talk to me again.”

    I think that calling someone creepy or a creeper is almost giving them a pass or excusing the behavior.
    Wildly inappropriate behaviors require a strong , definitive response.

  25. Re: Re: cons
    Yes, there is absolutely a difference between socially-awkward and predator (Miya, I like your post about calling it like it is. Predator, not “creeper”). Usually it’s easy to spot–predator will be actively trying to push your boundaries while socially-awkward will be accidentally pushing your boundaries–but sometimes it isn’t. And it is Totally Okay to tell somebody that they’re making you uncomfortable, EVEN IF it turns out they’ve got a condition (and if they do, then you have just given them a clear, straightforward social cue that they can refer to in similar settings later on. Yay!). We, especially women, are taught not to rock the boat from a very young age, and often the fear of offending somebody is enough to keep us from piping up about a potentially threatening situation. But if you feel that your boundaries are being pushed, you have every right to speak up/do something about it.

    Alright, I’m done now.

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