Flash Fiction Challenge: “Must Love Guns”
Do check out the stories from last week’s challenge, in which writers torment their protagonists.
This week? I’ve got a book to give away.
An actual, honest-to-Jeebus physical book.
I know! Those do still exist. I may even decide to send it in a package made of dodo bones.
Anyway, this week, I’ll pick one story that I do love oh so very much, and the writer of that story will earn the above book — CRIMES IN SOUTHERN INDIANA, stories by Frank Bill. Let me be clear when I say that these stories represent a ragged, saw-toothed collection of mean-ass crime fiction — country noir set in the Heartland. Frank’s prose is equally gnarly, and represents a very distinct voice. Writers this good don’t come around all that often, so trust me when I say, you want this collection.
This is an advanced copy, too. Isn’t out until next month.
That should juice your trousers.
(Though be advised, I can only send it to folks in the US of A. That’s not to say international peeps can’t still contribute fiction, only that they ain’t up for the book.)
One thing I noticed when reading this collection is, HOLY SHIT, GUNS. See, I’m a bit of a gun nut. Sure, sure, I may be socially liberal, but like it or no, I’m a gun guy. My father was a gun collector, a gunsmith, and a gunseller, and as a result I grew up around guns. Mostly long-arms with the occasional pistol. Hell, to clear out carpenter bees my father loaded CCI .22 shotshells into a piece of shit Italian .22 revolver and had me shoot the bees one at a time as they swarmed up around our barn. There I was, 12-years-old, executing bees with a .22 revolver in our driveway.
Probably not legal. But whatever. Those were good times.
Anyway, on damn near every page of Frank Bill’s collection: guns. 12 gauge. H&K .40. A .38 snubnose. Another 12 gauge. Again and again: gun porn. And I like me some gun porn.
So, that’s your job.
GUN PORN.
Well, really, all I ask is that you write a piece of crime fiction that features — and c’mon, this is so easy — guns as a feature. That’s like a present to you, from me. Mmmm. Guns.
You have 1000 words.
Short flash fiction. Not a vignette but a complete story.
Due by Friday, August 19th.
I’ll pick a favorite in the week after.
Post at your online space. Link back here. Direct us to your tale in the comments of this post.
Crime + Guns = Awesome.
Get to work.
EDIT:
Whyooo!
We have our winner.
Some good stuff, here. Tricky, though, because some stuff a) wasn’t crime or b) was over the limit. Further, I’ll still note that it’s hard to read some stories because of the blogs — in particular, busy backdrops hiding behind white text. Had to copy/paste into a WORD doc just to read without getting headachey.
Anyway. Winner?
CM Stewart.
For this disturbing and well-written gem:
http://cmstewartwrite.wordpress.com/2011/08/19/kiss-the-gun-a-flash-fiction-tale/
Kiss The Gun.
Or what I would call, “Harvey Gets The Shot.”



Roger Kilbourne
August 12, 2011 at 9:25 AM //
Nice one! Definitely going to have to jump into this little turkey shoot! Guns=awesome. I think it has to do with where we grew up, in good ol’ Western PA. The first day of Buck Season is a school holiday, for chrissakes! Turning twelve was a *huge* deal, since that’s when you could finally get a license and carry a boomstick yourself.
David Sobkowiak
August 12, 2011 at 9:27 AM //
Mmm, gun porn. Just what I needed for a Friday Fix. Thanks Chuck!
Lindsay Mawson
August 12, 2011 at 9:28 AM //
Okay, so I know I’m from good ol’ Ontario, so I can’t participate in the winning, but I can’t not participate in the challenge.
I just spent a day last week doing gun research with my brother for my book, Dissecting Dallas… so it’s all fresh in my head.
Chuck, your Vignette/Story phrase inspired me (if you want to know how, you just have to read it). I know I’m guilty of vignettes. What can you do, I’m not a short story writer
Some sarcasm to start your morning.
http://lindsaymawson.blogspot.com/2011/08/flash-fiction-challenge-21-must-love.html
Katherine Tomlinson
August 12, 2011 at 11:19 AM //
Guns. Got it. Good one…
“I’ll be back” as they say.
Jaie Maclane
August 12, 2011 at 11:27 AM //
There’s a reason “gun” rhymes with “fun”. You’re on.
Stephanie Belser
August 12, 2011 at 1:54 PM //
Well, I could recycle this one, which I wrote just for grins. Probably not fair, though, so I’ll work on it.
Mike Cooley
August 12, 2011 at 3:19 PM //
Here’s mine. It’s a bit twisted.
Hot Steel:
http://mikecooleyfiction.dyndns-blog.com/?p=40
Mike Cooley
August 12, 2011 at 3:20 PM //
Damn! Link fail.
Here’s the right one:
http://mikecooleyfiction.dyndns-blog.com/?p=406
Darlene Underdahl
August 12, 2011 at 3:22 PM //
I would love that book.
Is killing a cat a crime? Yes, yes it is.
http://darlene.underdahl.net/?p=85
Lesann
August 12, 2011 at 5:12 PM //
My offering: http://lesannberry.blogspot.com/2011/08/presidential-collection.html
Stephanie Belser
August 12, 2011 at 8:13 PM //
Gracie’s Gun
Or http://downrange-impact.blogspot.com/2011/08/gracies-gun.html if you want the naked link,
Eck!
August 13, 2011 at 12:50 PM //
All right, I have to try. Here’s my shot.
http://mozambique-drill.blogspot.com/2011/08/trap-line-saturday-2-pm-and-fine-if-not.html
Eck!
mandarific
August 13, 2011 at 2:09 PM //
Here’s mine: http://mandarific.com/blog/the-thief/
Being no expert in writing crime fiction, nor do I know a lick of anything about guns, I figured I’d do something sort-of fun with it.
Ben K.
August 13, 2011 at 10:42 PM //
I have failed in this effort, and would certainly understand that this takes me out of the running for the prize (though know I’ll likely buy it on my own), but wanted to submit my story nonetheless:
http://warnerkirby.blogs.com/clintonaut/2011/08/the-fall-of-the-hemlock-gang.html
I went over 369 words. Couldn’t cut it down. Couldn’t do it. Could. Not. Do. It. But it was way too much fun to write not to submit.
Thanks as always, Chuck.
Yee-haw. Blammo! Blam! Blam! Bang! Ka-pow!
Lily Cooper
August 14, 2011 at 5:31 PM //
my submission for this week.
http://lilycooper61.wordpress.com/2011/08/14/insignificant/
Michael Trimmer (@MichaelSTrimmer)
August 14, 2011 at 9:17 PM //
Dear all
Sam and Rick are taking a break this week. So let me instead introduce you to Stan Weller in “The Motherload”
http://www.michaelstuarttrimmer.co.uk/the_motherload.html
Looking forward to hearing your thoughts and reading everyone else’s work!
Michael Trimmer
oldestgenxer
August 14, 2011 at 10:55 PM //
Didja know I’m a speed reader? True story. Anyway, I read the requirements for this week’s challenge, and what I got out of it was “Gun Porn.”
Happiness is a Warm (Yes it is!) Gun
Jaie Maclane
August 15, 2011 at 10:11 AM //
Bang! Bang! Here’s my entry.
http://anothernightchainsmoking.blogspot.com/2011/08/tale-of-gun.html
Josh
August 15, 2011 at 11:58 AM //
The Gunsmith.
http://www.blueinkalchemy.com/2011/08/15/flash-fiction-the-gunsmith/
Jerry
August 15, 2011 at 3:42 PM //
It’s late and a bit over the limit and from Canada but what the hey. If anybody likes it, thats great.
http://jerrybloomfield.wordpress.com/2011/08/15/the-gun/
Larry Hutson
August 16, 2011 at 2:09 AM //
Well, take a peak. See if it’s in the right vein.
“Coins”
http://larryhutson.wordpress.com/2011/08/16/coins/
Jo Eberhardt
August 16, 2011 at 7:50 AM //
I’m not sure whether this is crime-y enough, but it’s definitely got a gun. A nice, shiny one.
Six Inches Under
Charlotte
August 16, 2011 at 9:55 AM //
Here’s my go: http://cbroad90.wordpress.com/2011/08/16/self-help-for-the-sad-sack/
I don’t qualify for winning the book because I’m here in the UK, but what the hell. Enjoy!
Ron Earl Phillips
August 16, 2011 at 10:25 AM //
Man, I’d love to have your pull. I’ve been running a writing challenge for almost 3 weeks to give away this great book.
*bows*
You’re got the goods.
Paul Salvette
August 16, 2011 at 10:55 AM //
This is a fun topic. Here’s Microchip which takes place in the Land of Smiles, Corruption, and Pederasts – Thailand!
In the unlikely event that I win, I would like Mr. Wendig to send Crimes in Southern Indiana to my Grandma in Michigan, who probably knows some of the people the book is based on.
Michael Webb
August 17, 2011 at 4:31 PM //
My story is up, “Ballad of A Well Known Gun”
Samantha J. Mathis
August 17, 2011 at 9:10 PM //
Mine for the week! Lucky Number Seven! http://samanthajmathis.tumblr.com/post/9060366993/lucky-number-seven
Melissa Pascarelli
August 17, 2011 at 9:53 PM //
Here’s mine.
http://wp.me/p1alyl-1I
Arch
August 18, 2011 at 6:20 AM //
Alright, here it is… Not Part of the Plan http://wp.me/p1AW5f-2a
Amy Tupper
August 18, 2011 at 6:24 AM //
The Backahasten featuring a Swedish Mauser 96
http://amytupper.net/2011/08/18/the-backahasten/
Roger Kilbourne
August 18, 2011 at 10:24 AM //
That was almost too much fun to be legal! Bonus points if you know the origins of the BFG-9000
http://rogerkilbourne.wordpress.com/2011/08/18/flash-fiction-show-of-force/
Albert Berg
August 18, 2011 at 12:46 PM //
The Gunshoe, the Judge, and a Tooth Fairie
http://wp.me/p1e5Wo-s7
Craig Towsley
August 18, 2011 at 4:34 PM //
Hello friends.
Is it cheating if I had something laying around from last week and stumbled onto this challenge now, or would that serendipity?
Five Down. “Punish in Return.” Six Letters
http://wp.me/pseya-oh
Jamie Wyman
August 18, 2011 at 5:07 PM //
First fiction I’ve written since early June. Be gentle. “The Colt” http://jamiewyman.blogspot.com/2011/08/must-love-guns-flash-fiction.html
Tom
August 18, 2011 at 8:28 PM //
This is my first Flash Fiction Challenge submission. I went over the word count, so no prize for me (even though I really wanted it), but I just couldn’t shave it down any more. I am really looking forward to some feedback though, so please give it a read and tell me what you think.
http://latent-ambiguity.blogspot.com/2011/08/flash-fiction-must-love-guns.html
Louise Sorensen
August 19, 2011 at 12:21 AM //
Here is my story; The Collector http://wp.me/p1BAlV-16
WordPress was a little uncoordinated > had one sentence in the original arial font, and the rest in its basic Times New Roman.
CMStewart
August 19, 2011 at 7:42 AM //
Thanks for bamming me out of my comfort zone.
http://cmstewartwrite.wordpress.com/2011/08/19/kiss-the-gun-a-flash-fiction-tale/
BA Boucher
August 19, 2011 at 9:11 AM //
Again with the last minute bullshit…
“Bayonetting Babies”
http://defconwhiskey.wordpress.com/2011/08/19/bayonetting-babies/
Chris White
August 19, 2011 at 10:21 AM //
I have no idea about guns, I mean I can name some famous ones, but that’s about all…
http://chriswhitewrites.wordpress.com/2011/08/20/obsession/
thenoirguy
August 19, 2011 at 11:05 AM //
My submission for the contest, “Two Tickets to the Gun Show”:
http://insidejoshuashead.blogspot.com/2011/08/two-tickets-to-gunshow.html
damyanti
August 19, 2011 at 11:37 AM //
My piece which I posted yesterday, but forgot to post the link here: http://damyantiwrites.wordpress.com/2011/08/18/chuck-wendig-friday-fiction/
Amber Keller
August 19, 2011 at 1:04 PM //
I know I’m too late for this one, and I’m to blame, but I came up with an offering 20 minutes before time, so I trucked through it and posted it. Hopefully you guys will enjoy it. This is a tale of guns and crime from a horror writer that usually employs the likes of some type of creature. It was fun and so I give you, Who’s Got the Money?
http://adiaryofawriter.blogspot.com/2011/08/whos-got-money.html
Thomas Pluck
August 19, 2011 at 1:57 PM //
Late, but I just had to write “Gun Play”
http://www.pluckyoutoo.com/p/gun-play.html
Movieremnants
August 19, 2011 at 8:46 PM //
Hope I’m not too late, if I am…oh well I had fun. I just found your blog this morning and was at work all day! Still enjoyed writing this, sorry if its not any good: http://movieremnants.wordpress.com/?p=200&preview=true
Jamie Wyman
August 22, 2011 at 12:55 PM //
Damn, Chuck…you sure have a lot of muzzle flash fic to read.
*ducks* Please don’t shoot me for the horrible pun.
terribleminds
August 26, 2011 at 3:57 PM //
EDIT:
Whyooo!
We have our winner.
Some good stuff, here. Tricky, though, because some stuff a) wasn’t crime or b) was over the limit. Further, I’ll still note that it’s hard to read some stories because of the blogs — in particular, busy backdrops hiding behind white text. Had to copy/paste into a WORD doc just to read without getting headachey.
Anyway. Winner?
CM Stewart.
For this disturbing and well-written gem:
http://cmstewartwrite.wordpress.com/2011/08/19/kiss-the-gun-a-flash-fiction-tale/
Kiss The Gun.
Or what I would call, “Harvey Gets The Shot.”
– c.
Roger Kilbourne
August 26, 2011 at 8:43 PM //
Congrats, CM. Turns out getting blasted out of your comfort zone was a good thing eh?
CMStewart
August 26, 2011 at 9:10 PM //
@Kilbourne Yes, blasted = good. I almost didn’t do this one, as I’m not a fan of guns. Yes, I’m a blasphemer.