Apple-Obsessed Author Fella

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Guest Postings!

Stephen Blackmoore: “Terror And The Debut Author”

Today, a guest post from the mighty Stephen Motherfucking Blackmoore, debut author extraordinaire. He’s got this book out now, CITY OF THE LOST. I read this book and blurbed it, saying, “Bruja, demons, bloodsuckers, the living dead and bucketloads of bloody magic – you’ll find all of those in CITY OF THE LOST, but the real magic is how Blackmoore deftly breathes secret supernatural life into the City of Angels. This is an auspicious debut that’s at turns violent, hilarious, and tragic. Can’t wait make a return trip to Blackmoore’s voodoo version of L.A.” — I genuinely truly loved this book. What’s doubly fucked up is how Blackmoore only ups the ante with the coming sequel, DEAD THINGS, a book so good I want to read it twice. And I don’t read many books twice. So, here is the author resplendent in his glory — give him your ear, and if you trust me to steer you straight, give him your money, too.

As of the time of this posting my first novel, CITY OF THE LOST, a noir urban fantasy, will have been out for two days.

I’m writing this on Monday, the day before it officially comes out and I have no idea what the sales will look like, if people will pan it, or even if they’ll buy it. It’s gotten some good press. Kirkus liked it. Romantic Times, surprisingly, reviewed it, and unsurprisingly, hated it. It was on the January recommended reading list for L.A. Magazine. Got some good stuff over on Rex Robot and My Bookish Ways and I hear The Qwillery enjoyed it.

One guy on Goodreads couldn’t get past all the swearing, but a lot of other people seemed to dig it. There are, as yet, no Amazon reviews.

Tomorrow night, Friday, January 6th, I will be having my book launch at Mysterious Galaxy, my first book signing ever, in Redondo Beach, California and on Saturday afternoon, January 7th, at 2:00 I’m signing at their store in San Diego. If all goes as planned I’ll be doing the same in San Francisco sometime in February at Borderlands Books.

I have never been in the public eye as much as I am right now. It may not be much, and it might not even be a blip on the radar, but it’s a hell of a lot more than I’ve been in the past and though I keep expecting to be terrified, keep thinking I should be terrified, I’m not.

Have you ever gone skydiving? I recommend it. Provided everything goes right, and even if it goes wrong, I suppose, it’s one of the most awe-inspiring things a person can experience.

I went on a tandem jump years ago. Which means I was strapped to a guy who was going to do most of the work of not leaving a crater or a wide, red smear when we hit the ground. That or static line is really the only way you’re going to go out your first time without a lot of prep and training. And even then there will be someone holding onto you most of the way down.

The entire time I kept expecting to freak out. Driving out there, sitting through the “Don’t Panic, You’re Probably Not Going To Die,” training video and pep talk, signing the waivers, getting into the plane. Every step of the way I kept thinking, “I’m going to lose my shit any second now.” But I didn’t.

At 12,000 feet up in the air, they opened the door.

From that high up, from that wide a field of view, the world doesn’t look right. All sense of space is, oddly, gone. You’re too high up to get vertigo. You don’t have those visual frames of reference that tell you just how far up you really are. 12,000 feet is just a number.

I thought, “This is the coolest shit ever.”

And I jumped.

Free fall is a trip. You don’t really need to breathe so much as just leave your mouth open. The air will shove itself into your lungs whether you like it or not. You’re in the throes of gravity. It is surprisingly loud.

This experience with the book is a lot like that jump. Only without being strapped to someone who’s going to keep me from cratering when I hit the ground. This time it’s all me.

At no point during that jump was I afraid and I think I’ve finally figured out why.

It was about jumping out of an airplane. It was never about reaching the ground safely.

I hear a lot of things from a lot of people about what I should do and what I have to do to make this book “successful.” I’m sure they’re all right. Some of those are things I’ll do. Some of them aren’t.

But it’s not about being successful. It’s not about reaching the ground safely.

It’s all about jumping.

Matt Forbeck: The Terribleminds Interview

Matt Forbeck is one crazy dude. Crazy like a fox. Crazy like a dude with a powerful brain parasite that serves him and provides him awesome creative powers in its symbiotic grip. What hasn’t Matt written? He’s written novels, games, comics, designed toys, penned whole encyclopedias. I don’t think he’s missing much on his resume except maybe “HVAC instructions” and “Communist manifesto.” Matt’s approach is not dissimilar from my own: write everything, and feed the family doing it. He’s a writer to whom you should be listening. You can find him at Forbeck.com, or @MForbeck on the Twitters. And, should you be so inclined to support his 12-for-12 endeavor, the Kickstarter is live and looking for funds.

This is a blog about writing and storytelling. So, tell us a story. As short or long as you care to make it. As true or false as you see it.

Hemingway famously wrote a complete short story in six words to win a bet. It goes, “For sale: baby shoes, never used.”

I came up with a version of my own that features zombies. It goes:

“Brains!”

“Brains!”

“Brains!”

BLAM!

BLAM!

Click.

Why do you tell stories?

I’m a full-time professional writer, so the easy answer is “Money.” That’s not the real reason, of course. If I only cared about money, I’d take up investment banking.

I tell stories because I love seeing patterns in the world and figuring out how to make them as entertaining as I can. Stories are all about winnowing down the information life throws at you, finding the elements that mean something, and then weaving them together into a narrative. Sometimes you get to use those to make up things from whole cloth, but the process is much the same, and I get such a kick out of doing it.

I don’t know if I’d write if I had to do it for free. It’s a lot of work, and it takes me away from other things, like my wife and kids, but there’s no way you could stop me from telling stories.

Give the audience one piece of writing or storytelling advice:

Have fun with it. If you can’t enjoy writing the story, how can you expect your reader to enjoy reading it? That doesn’t mean every story has to be a rollercoaster ride of laughs, but you have to find a reason to love it. If you do, then others can too.

Got any advice for those wanting to become professional writers?

Stick to it. The worst thing anyone can say to you is “No,” and that’s not all that bad in the end. You’ll get a lot of that at first, and it’ll slack off as you improve your craft and your understanding of what the market (i.e. readers) wants.

Lots of people will tell you not to quit your day job, and I understand that. I never started the day job in the first place, which meant the transition from starving student to struggling writer had not even a speed bump for me. If you’re going to take risks like that, I say do them when you’re young, too ignorant to know better, and have far less to lose. It gets harder later, I’m told.

What’s great about being a writer, and conversely, what sucks about it?

Besides the fact I get to do what I love for a living — which is hard to beat — I adore the flexibility it gives me. I have a lot of kids at home (five, including a 9-year-old set of quadruplets), and being able to work out of my home gives me the kind of flexibility I need to be the best father I can to them. I can’t imagine how I’d hold down a regular job and manage it.

I could tell you all sorts of things that suck about it, but that would be whining about a job I love. I don’t think I could stomach it any more than your readers. It’s a challenge in many ways, sure, but I enjoy the challenges. That’s part of what makes it worth doing.

I have to ask, then: you’ve got quads, for Crom’s sake, so if anybody’s going to have some interesting parenting advice, it’s you. So, cough it up. Don’t keep the secrets to yourself.

I could write a book on this (and maybe someday will), but I’ll hit a few highlights.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help. We had 30–35 people signing up on a schedule and coming in every week to lend a hand with feeding, diapering, cleaning. People are often thrilled to help out, especially when infants are involved. Most of our helpers were either grandmothers or women who wished they were, and we were happy to have our kids be surrogate grandkids for them all.

Don’t poke the bear. Or in this case, the kids. If they’re sleeping, let them lie if you can help it. Take advantage of it and grab a few winks for yourself. You’ll need every one of them.

Don’t forget to take care of your own basic needs first. You know how when the air masks drop down in an airplane, they tell you to take care of yourself before helping out your kids? Just like that. You’re no good to your kids if you’re passed out and they can’t wake you.

Don’t be afraid to use whatever tools you have at hand. When the quads started ripping their diapers off — something all kids learn to do — we turned to that most trusted fastener: duck tape. For the ones who were just fooling around, we just reinforced the diaper tabs with a couple strips of tape. For our more determined messers, we wrapped the roll right around their waistbands. Then we put them in a sleeper and fastened the zipper with a safety pin.

Whatever works.

Favorite word? And then, the follow up: Favorite curse word?

I could go on about “defenestrate” all day, but it’s not a word that comes up often in daily use. I like “brilliant” for its many meanings, and I probably say “cool” far too often.

For cursing, I usually stick with the classic “fuck.” Sometimes it’s “fucking hell” or “holy fuck” for emphasis. Shane Hensley once told me I use “fuck” like it’s a comma.

Favorite alcoholic beverage? (If cocktail: provide recipe. If you don’t drink alcohol, fine, fine, a non-alcoholic beverage will do.)

I mostly stick with beer — I am from Wisconsin, after all — and I love trying new microbrews. My fallback is always Guinness. When I stray from beer, I enjoy tequila and scotch in many varieties.

Recommend a book, comic book, film, or game: something with great story. Go!

Try John Layman’s Chew from Image Comics. It’s about an investigator for the FDA in a world in which the bird flu has made eating any fowl illegal, and he had to root out illegal chicken operations. To top it off, he has this odd psychic power that gives him visions of the history of anything he eats. It gets weirder and more wonderful from there.

What skills do you bring to help the humans win the inevitable zombie war?

Handling a large family has given me a strong command of supply and logistics. If we can hook a shotgunning robot up to an Xbox controller, too, I’d be happy to apply my hard-earned hours of video game skills to the slaughter.

You’ve committed crimes against humanity. They caught you. You get one last meal.

Something laced with a drug that induces a deathlike paralysis. Assuming they obey my last wishes and bury me without embalming, I’ll crawl from the grave days later to exact my revenge on the bastards who framed me.

What’s next for you as a storyteller? What does the future hold?

I just launched a Kickstarter drive for a mad scheme I call 12 for ’12, in which I plan to write a 50,000-word novel every month in 2012. The first trilogy of these is set in the same world as the Brave New World RPG I wrote back in 1999, featuring a dystopian world filled with superheroes who have been outlawed due to the collateral damage their powers create. It’s a blast, and we’ve already hit our first goal, so I get to start writing in January. There’s still time for other folks to jump in on the fun though.

In addition to that, my next original novel from Angry Robot comes out in March. It’s called Carpathia, after the ship that picked up the survivors of the Titanic. Carpathia also happens to be the name of the mountains in which Castle Dracula sits, and this is not — in my novel, at least — any sort of coincidence.

I’m also writing the Magic: The Gathering comic book for IDW, based on the bestselling collectible card game from Wizards of the Coast. I’m a game designer too, so this is a dream project for me, and I’m having a tremendous amount of fun with it. The first issue ships in December, which is coming up fast.

Add in a few other novels and world-building and game-design gigs, and 2012 may be my busiest year yet.

Okay, you opened the can of worms, now: 12 novels in 12 months? First question is, do you have a brain parasite? Second question is, where can I get that parasite for myself? Third and final question: what’s the motive behind this kamikaze attack on your own bibliography?

I don’t think so (although perhaps my kids qualify). If I do, I’ll have to figure out a way to weaponize it. But not the kids. They’re already dangerous enough.

As for why, I have a number of reasons. First, I like the idea of the challenge. It’s bound to keep me focused on task, much in the same way as a revolver to my temple.

Second, I’ve been wanting to get back to publishing for a while. I co-founded a game publisher called Pinnacle Entertainment Group in the ’90s, and we had a string of hits, including Deadlands (a horror western RPG). I have all these publishing skills I’ve left unused for years, and it feels good to stretch them again. I plan to publish each of the 12 for ’12 novels as an ebook, although my Kickstarter backers have the option of grabbing the books early and even getting them in exclusive paperback and hardcover editions.

I want to pause and say how much I love my current publisher, Angry Robot. Marco and Lee have set up something wonderful there, and I truly enjoy working with them. When I have the right projects for them, they are the first people I turn to. As you’ve mentioned several times yourself, you don’t have to stand up and jam a flag in one camp or the other. It’s not a war. It’s an evolution.

Third, I didn’t want to just dip my toe into the ebook self-publishing waters. Just tossing up a single novel and hoping it sells seems like a recipe for failure. If people love your book, what else do you have to sell them? Some of the most successful ebook self-publishers are authors who bring a stable of out-of-print books back out.

Since most of my novels have been work-for-hire tie-ins, I don’t have a backlist like that to call on, but I didn’t want to wait the years it might take to build up a viable inventory of titles for people to enjoy. Writing 12 novels in a year gives me that wider selection in as close to instant as I can manage.

Will you put aside other work for all twelve novels?

I’m sure that I will, although I can’t say what it might be. As a freelancer, I often only book my time a few months out, and I have no idea what opportunities might come my way while I’m in the middle of the 12 for ’12 project. Honestly, it was one of the worries that gave me the most pause, but I’ll solve that problem if and when it comes up.

At the moment, I’m planning to write the Magic: The Gathering comic and help out on a massive world-building gig next year. We’ll have to see what else might come my way.

Care to give us a hint as to what the other novels will be? Will they all be Kickstarted?

At the moment, I’m planning to Kickstarter them all, but it depends on how this first drive goes. The second trilogy is set in a fantasy noir world I call Shotguns & Sorcery. I’ve already written two stories set in it, the first of which came out in Carnage & Consequences, an anthology the Gen Con Writers Symposium put together for last summer. The second story (which I wrote first) is slated for The New Hero 2, a Robin Laws-edited anthology due out in 2012.

I have many ideas for the third trilogy, but I’m going to wait a bit before I nail down what it will be. One of those ideas might become the fourth trilogy instead, but I’m also considering writing a three-pack of singletons for that, including perhaps some sequels to my earlier work.

That also begs the question: any advice for anybody looking to crowdfund on Kickstarter or IndieGoGo?

Pay attention to what other people are doing and how they go about it. Have a video that connects you personally with your audience. Concoct a reward ladder that people can understand easily. And have a plan for stretch goals if you manage to beat your initial goal right away.

Carpathia is, for the record, bonkers in the best way. I’m going to ask that most sinful of questions but I am compelled as if by vampiric hypnosis: where’d the idea come from?

Carpathia is the name of the ship that rescued the survivors of the Titanic. It’s also the name of the Transylvanian mountain range in which Castle Dracula sits. Once you make that connection, it’s not a long leap to mixing vampires and the greatest maritime disaster in history.

The novel winds up being much bigger than that simple description of course, but that’s why you sit down and write the book. If a high concept like “30 Days of Night meets Titanic” was only worth a chuckle, I’d stop there.

Did writing games help inform how you write your fiction? Or are they entirely separate disciplines?

They are separate but related disciplines, like half-brothers who live in the same house over summers and holidays. Games — especially roleplaying games — require you to create settings and characters rife with possibilities for all sorts of action and intrigue. You need to come up with every sort of element to allow and even encourage the players to concoct brilliant stories of their own, but when you’re done showing how to set up the dominoes, you walk away.

With fiction, you get to make your own set of dominoes, line them all up, and then tip them into motion and hope they all fall the way you think they will. Instead of coming up with a world of possible stories, though, you have to winnow all of those away until you come up with the one best story that resonates with you in the strongest way. It’s a whole different kind of challenge, but just as rewarding, maybe more so.

Finally: what’s the toughest thing about writing for the comic book page?

Writing a comic is the most technically challenging kind of writing around because you have to consider the page and format as a rigid framework. For most monthly comics, you have a set 22 pages in which to tell your story, which leaves you with zero wiggle room. In stories, novels, games — even film and TV — you can fudge things around a bit, but comics don’t have the same give.

On top of that, you have to think not only visually but in terms of two-page spreads. You build tension starting at the top left of the spread and work your way up to a climax in the bottom right. Then the reader turns the page for the reveal, and you start it all over again. Compressing everything you want to say and show into those pages can be a real challenge, but watching it all come to life in the hands of a talented art team is a true thrill.

“Mom, I’m Next To Stephen King!” Your Book On Shelves, By Lauren Roy

Ta-da. Mixing it up today with a guest post from Lauren Roy, AKA “Falconesse.” She’d like to say some things to you about getting your book on actual, non-digital bookshelves. Note that Lauren’s talking about any book, be it self-published or otherwise. She is, of course, a bookseller — she’s writing you from the trenches, you see. Feel free to ask her any questions you see fit to ask!

You’ve published a book in dead tree form. Congratulations! Now you’re thinking, “Hey, I’d like to be on the shelves at Joe’s Books.” (We assume, for the sake of this exercise, you’ve passed the test in this post.)

So, how do you make friends with your local independent bookstore and get some of that sweet, sweet shelf-space?

Be part of the store’s community. Shop there. Attend events. Be a friend to that store because you genuinely care about it, not just so they’ll carry your book. Booksellers know the difference.

Offer returnability. Most bookstores buy books on a returnable basis, and at a 40% discount (or greater, if they’re ordering direct from the publisher). If you can’t offer this, buyers will likely balk — if your book doesn’t sell, they’re stuck with it on their shelves and will have to cough up the cash for it. It’s not a good arrangement for the store. You might instead have to work with the bookstore on consignment.

Talk to the right person… In my bookstore days, lots of would-be authors came in and pushed their book on whatever register monkey they could corner first. Usually said monkeys were high schoolers who weren’t making ordering decisions.

Ask to talk to the book buyer… at the right time. If the store is a holiday madhouse and the staff is running on caffeine and fear, now’s not the time to pitch to the buyer.

Yes, I said pitch. You’ve got about thirty seconds to make them want to read your book. Be professional. Be polite. Learn from this.

Have a sample copy available. Publishers create buzz through the help of Advanced Reader Copies. These are released 3-6 months(ish) before the book hits stores. They look like this:

Stuff of Legends

You’ll need to give a copy of your book to the buyer to read. If you don’t want to part with a dead-tree copy, be willing to email them a .pdf, or stick the book on a thumb drive.

Give them time to read it. Your average bookseller’s ARC pile looks like this:

ARC pile 1

Okay, I lied. More like this:

ARC pile 2

Only taller.

Don’t expect them to drop everything to read your book. It’s fair to follow-up (nicely!) if you haven’t heard back in three or four weeks.

Don’t say the A-word. Not asshole or asshat. Amazon. I’m sorry to say this, but if you’ve self-pubbed through CreateSpace, chances are your local indie will pass on carrying your book. It’s like suggesting the mom-and-pop cafe down the street buy their coffee from Starbucks.

Promote the store on your website. Speaking of the A-word, don’t just link to Amazon. If you want your local indie to support your book, send readers their way. Link to them and to Indiebound.

Stand out in a good way. Booksellers get approached by writers all the time. They will quite possibly be ready with a “no” before you even get started. If you’re wondering why, give Chuck’s article another read. Now imagine people who haven’t read that coming in, looming and tittering, or swaggering in with the hard-sell, badgering buyers to represent something that’ll sit on the shelves gathering dust.

I can’t promise you success. It is an uphill climb. But if you keep these things in mind, you might just increase your chances at getting on the shelves.

Additional tips for the commercially published:

Do offer to drop in and sign. If your books are already on store shelves, and you’d like to do a stock-signing for your friendly local bookstore, that’s awesome! Booksellers will love you for it, and if they know you’re John-Hancocking those bad cats, will probably find a way to display them as autographed copies.

However, don’t assume the whole staff knows who you are. While I could probably have named several local authors in my bookstore days, that doesn’t mean I recognized them on sight. Especially since most writers don’t visit their local Glamour Shots every time they visit the mall. Once, a woman came in at closing time, grabbed a stack of books, then brought them up to the register where — without a word to me — she snagged a pen and started writing in them. When I asked if I could help her out (silently screaming What the fuck, lady?), she put on her haughtiest tone and said, “I’m the author.”

If you have a publicist, loop them inespecially if you’ve arranged a signing with the bookstore on your own. There might not be very much that they need to do, but it’s good to keep your team informed. Also, (and this is where I put on my day job hat), if something goes wonky, you’ve got more people looking out for you. Events get listed in publicity reports. Sales reps look at those, or get an email from the publicist saying, “Hey, your store is hosting Joe T. Author in two weeks.” The reps get in touch with booksellers to make sure their orders are in and arriving on time, and can help troubleshoot any stock/credit/shipping issues that crop up. You’ve got a support team at your publisher. Let them help!

Let the stores know what you need. Need a glass of water, a cup of coffee, a certain-colored pen to sign with? Do you want a designated staff member standing by to take pictures for fans, or to write their names on a post-it so you don’t accidentally write Kristen when they spell it Kristin? Do you need someone to play bad cop if a fan’s monopolizing your time? Whatever makes a signing go smoothly for you, tell your contact at the store and they’ll make it happen.

Thank the staff. They’re probably already gushing over you, but let ’em know if they did a good job, too. It’s always nice to hear.

Booksellers and authors make great partners. Hopefully these guildelines will help you turn your friendly local bookstore into your friendly loyal bookstore.

Lauren Roy spends her days surrounded by books and her nights scratching out one of her own. She has just done the math and realized she’s been in the book industry for more than half her life — back in her day, they sold books barefoot in the snow, uphill both ways. Her rambles about bookselling, writing, geekery, and her inability to nurture houseplants can be found at falconesse.com.  She is represented by Miriam Kriss of the Irene Goodman Agency.

Greg Stolze: The Terribleminds Interview

Mister Stolze and I share a freelance-flavored past, in that both of us did substantial work for White Wolf Game Studios, and periodically add more to that resume. He’s since done a great deal of his own game design work and, in terms of both games and fiction, was kickstarting his own stories before Kickstarter even existed. You can find Greg at his website here, and Twitter at @GregStolze.

Why do you tell stories?

It beats honest work. In all seriousness, I think this world is a better, brighter place with me as a novelist than as a brain surgeon. Writing stories and designing games are the only tasks at which an objective observer would say I excel, unless you put in noncommercial tasks like “being a loving husband” or “getting lost even when driving to a location I’ve visited dozens of times.”

Give the audience one piece of writing or storytelling advice:

Hm, I’m trying to think of something that isn’t just a ripoff of Anne Lamott. I actually cut ‘n’ pasted her article at this link so I could send it off any time anyone asked me for writing advice. Summary version: Don’t be a writer if the process is just an implement of success for you, instead of the reason you do it. If you don’t write the way an alcoholic drinks — compulsively and at the expensive of many other good things in life — you probably won’t go far or like where you stop.

Or I could just rip off Justin Achilli’s advice of avoiding the word “will” like it’s radioactive cyanide. It was part of his grand, glorious crusade against passive voice. Passive voice is when you phrase something as “X happened” or “X was done” instead of the more active “Y did X.” Passive voice sounds all weaselly, like you’re trying to obscure responsibility. “Mistakes were made.” “There were discrepancies in the vote count.” “The body was found in the lake.” Sounds like abashed bureaucrats mumbling into their shoes. Compare with “I made a mistake,” “The vote machines couldn’t make the tallies come out even” or “So there I was, minding my own business and trying to get a picture of a snowy egret when suddenly I find this fucking BODY in the lake!” Mm, engaging!

What’s great about being a writer, and conversely, what sucks about it?

Getting to make stuff up all the time is pretty great. I have a brain like a butterfly, flitting hither and yon and never settling for long. Also, my brain spreads beauty and joy to all who behold it, which is why I’m saving up to have my skull replaced with a clear, strong polymer, probably Lexan(tm). Also, nobody knows where my brain goes in the rain.

What sucks about it? Hm, the publishing industry was a tough nut to crack when I was starting out and is currently undergoing cataclysmic upheavals that could well leave the landscape littered with the shattered corpses of once-proud dead-tree juggernauts. In the shadows of the bodies, nothing moves but tiny, furtive, hair-clad figures composing fan-fiction.

You’re a Kickstarter ninja, always kicking and starting fiction or game projects. What do you like about the Kickstarter model? And didn’t you kind of do this way back when with your “Ransom” model?

What I like about Kickstarter is that it enables my laziness. I don’t have to track who paid me or how much and, if things go pear-shaped, I don’t have to do refunds. They take credit cards so I don’t have to, and provide a nice platform where I can upload my videos and posts without swearing at HTML for hours. They take their percentage, as do the credit card companies, but what’cha gonna do?

The Ransom Model was, in some ways, crowd-funding before it was called that. For me, a TRUE Ransom (as opposed to them bitch-ass frontin’ ersatz pseudo-Ransoms, many of which I have run) works on the notion that “If I get $X, the already-completed work becomes free for everyone.” The D…iS! fundraiser isn’t a Ransom as much as a pre-order. The nice thing about ransoming, especially for short stories is (1) once it’s free, I can point people to links and say, “Look, go there and get free reads. If you enjoyed ‘Enzymes’ or ‘Two Things She Does With Her Body,’ you’ll probably like this next story I’ve written” instead of having to explain what’s brilliant about the story without being able to tell the whole thing. You know how people try to get you to work for free, saying “Oh, you’ll get so much valuable exposure!” — a line that most sober college students can see is bullshit when a guy at Spring Break waves his camera at them, but which inexplicably works some times on artists and writers. Now I can get all the valuable free exposure I want, on my terms, and get paid for it. Also, I keep my clothes on.

Advice for authors or game designers looking to “kickstart” a project that way? Lots of Kickstarter projects out there: any way to stand out?

Kickstarter emphatically DOES NOT CREATE DEMAND. That’s your job. It can turn trust and goodwill into money, but you have to give people a reason to want it. Having a good promotion video and intriguing sell-text will get you partway there, but you also have to hustle your ass off getting the word out any way you can. It’s not like an ATM. Expecting it to do the work for you is like putting a hammer on top of a board and wondering when your scrollwork-engraved cabinet will be done.

What are your thoughts about the publishing industry as it stands — agents, editors, publishers? Is that a road you hope to travel? Or are you all up in the DIY model?

I have a horrible, horrible psychological block regarding agents. I mean, I’ve sent in my share of query letters — to be brutally honest, probably a little less than my share, but I’ve struck out every time. I take it too hard, and when the rejection arrives, I ask myself “Why did I piss away all that time and hope and effort researching the agent, finding out what she likes, crafting the approach letter, editing the approach letter, then spend 2-3 months biting my nails before the brush-off? I could’ve written, edited, promoted and self-published a $500 short story in less time, with less heartache AND been happier with myself.”

It’s a phobia. I used to feel that writing an agent query letter was like eating a piece of my own death. Now I feel it’s more like eating death, vomiting it up, eating the vomit, shitting it out, and then somehow eating my own shit-death-puke. Which is not the agents’ fault. I’m sure many of them are lovely, lovely people. But life is short. Approaching publishers directly is just as bad. I met a local publisher personally, gave him my card, shook his hand, spoke politely with him after his talk to my writer’s group and, afterwards, shyly sent an email about maybe, possibly submitting a novel if he wanted to see it. That novel is “Mask of the Other.” I’m quite confident that I’ll have it available for sale before he ever gets back to me.

Add in the current publishing climate, and there are days when getting an agent looks like hiring an interior decorator when your house is burning down. That said, I’d love to have someone else do all the editing, layout, promotion, marketing, shipping and distribution for me. Still. Here we are. It would have been nice to have had the option, I guess.

What are the differences between writing game material and fiction? You prefer one over the other?

It’s the difference between making a guitar and playing one. When I write game material, I’m trying to be some kind of invisible helper elf, enabling others to create their stories and do what they want. When I write fiction, I’m telling the story exactly the way I want it to go (mostly). Both have their charms. I loved writing stories even before I started gaming, but gaming loved me BACK before fiction really did.

You are a storyteller with children. Having only a four-month-old, I know that’s not easy-peasy-diaper-squeezy, so: how the fuck do you do it?!

Set manageable goals. Understand that writing is going to take a hit. Personally, I found a place near my house where I could park my toddlers for something ridiculous like $4 an hour each at the Eola Community Center. Now the rules were that I had to stay in the Center and they’d come and get me for diaper changes, and they wouldn’t hold a kid for more than two hours at a stretch, but if you plan ahead, you can get 1100 words written in an hour. Now, of course, they’re in school all day. So just work towards that, Chuck.

Favorite word? And then, the follow up: Favorite curse word?

I’m kind of partial to “Ah.” Also “fuck-pole,” which I think is underutilized.

Favorite alcoholic beverage? (If cocktail: provide recipe. If you don’t drink alcohol, fine, fine, a non-alcoholic beverage will do.)

In the summer, I like a G&T like this: Fill a tall glass with ice, crush a quarter lime in it, fill that with tonic (the kind with quinine) almost to the top, then a double-shot of Tanqueray on top. Stir and drink. But when I ran out of gin and didn’t want to run to the store, I replaced the gin with one shot of Grand Marnier and one shot of Jose Cuervo tequila. I called it the “Grand Killya,” but don’t let that stop you from trying one.

Or you can go with two scoops of ice cream, a tiny drizzle of chocolate sauce, a shot of Bailey’s Irish Cream and a shot of Frangelico hazlenut liquor in a blender. Smoothy-fy it and drink on the back porch while trying to get a grip. I call that one “Home-Made Prozac.”

In the winter though, I’ve been trending towards aquavit — it’s like liquid rye bread that makes you sleepy.

Recommend a book, comic book, film, or game: something with great story. Go!

For writers, I recommend Italo Calvino’s If On A Winter’s Night a Traveler… even though it’s distinctly aimed at you, the reader. No, literally: The book is written in the second person, and details your adventures as you try to get your hands on an unmangled copy of ‘Italo Calvino’s new novel If On A Winter’s Night a Traveler…’ It hilariously explodes the book trade, publishing, literary analysis, the entire reading experience and especially, especially writing. There’s a wonderful scene where two writers find out they’re at the same resort. One’s a highbrow literary lion who agonizes and thrashes over every line, every word, every phrase. The other’s a bestselling thriller-monger who “produces books the way a vine produces pumpkins.” There’s a beautiful woman reading by the pool, and each of them is agonized by the thought that she’s reading the OTHER writer’s book. That, in my experience, is the literary life compressed into a single image.

What skills do you bring to help the humans win the inevitable zombie war?

I’ll be honest with you Chuck, most of my training has emphasized hand-to-hand combat with humans, paying particular attention to ligature strangles. Sure, I did some Okinawan kobudo back in the day, but I suspect I’d be best used keeping the survivors from turning on one another. You know, some sort of “Are you going to give Katy her Skittles back or do I have to put you in the sleeper hold again?” kind of arrangement.

You’ve committed crimes against humanity. They caught you. You get one last meal.

Two beer-boiled elk sausage bratwursts with horseradish mustard, one with carmelized onions and sauerkraut, one plain, each served on fresh-baked, lightly-toasted split french rolls. A bottle of Jhoom beer and a G&T as described above. Home-Made Prozac for dessert. Yeah, if I’m going to get a dose of Edison’s medicine, I’m not bothering with a balanced meal and I’ll want to be as smashed as possible.

What’s next for you as a storyteller? What does the future hold?

Let’s see. SWITCHFLIPPED is out now, that’s right here, and I’ve been shilling that all the livelong day. The fundraiser for Dinosaurs… in Spaaace! is ticking down and I’m hoping like hell that makes it. It’s making me anxious, so I’ll probably go for shorter, smaller and cheaper stuff for a while — perhaps drumming up the cash for a SWITCHFLIPPED print run.

After I clear those decks, I’ve got Mask of the Other, which I’d call a “military horror novel” — a squad of US soldiers stumbles across the wreckage of Saddam’s occult weapons program in 1991 and gets entangled with the Cthulhu Mythos demimonde. Within that frame, it also deals heavily with modern-day ghost towns. Parts are set in Varosha — pictured in these links:

http://woondu.com/images/strange/varosha-ghost-town-cyprus/varosha-ghost-town9.jpg

http://www.flickr.com/photos/danielzolli/2440928047/

http://greekodyssey.typepad.com/my_greek_odyssey/images/2007/04/12/forbidden_zone_2.jpg

Varosha’s a neighborhood in Cyprus that was abandoned during the Turkish invasion in 1974, and during the occupation, the Turks just fenced it off and said, “No one goes in or we shoot them.” Other parts are set on the island of Hashima:

http://amazingtourismtraveling.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/Ghost-town-Hashima-Island-Gunkanjima-japan.jpg

http://static.omglog.com/uploads/2009/10/hashima-island-decaying-city-photos-555×371.jpg

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-yw3j8kNsVyE/TctfQGbxhyI/AAAAAAAAEuw/iKpeMUUTUoE/s400/hashima01.jpg

…which was basically a town built on top of a coal mine on an island the size of a few football fields. It was very suddenly evacuated and abandoned… in 1974.

That’s all true or, at least, internet-true. I asked myself, “what would make people abandon cities on islands in 1974?” and came up with some HPL-style answers. That’s the novel.

Way off on the back burner, I’m thinking of open-developing a new set of RPG mechanics and ransoming out polished versions of them in a sort of “fantasy science” setting — nice short chunks, maybe 10,000 words like the REIGN ransoms. That might work better than big stuff like D…iS! That project’s called HORIZON, so keep an eye peeled.

Will Entrekin: The Terribleminds Interview

This has been a week focusing on self-publishing talk, and so it seems only fitting that today’s interview is with an author whose work is out there in the DIY self-published space. Do I always agree with Will? No. Do I always find him respectful? Indeed. He’s a smart guy with lots to say on the subject, so I’ll let him get right to it. Oh! His website is here — willentrekin.com — and follow him on Twitter @willentrekin.

This is a blog about writing and storytelling so before we do anything else, I’d like you to tell me – and, of course, the fine miscreants and deviants that read this site – a story. As short or long as you care to make it, as true or false as you see it.

Neat prompt. How about two really short ones?

Once upon a time seeks happily ever after.

Reality creates time in motion.

How would you describe your writing or storytelling style?

Two “ex” words: exciting and explosions. I always want to tell stories that have both surprise and inevitability, and I like to do so in compelling, page-turning ways, but I like to explore all the elements that might make readers turn a page (or press a button, I suppose, with e-readers). My shorter work and my first novel have been more experimental and character-driven, but even in that way, I like to try to blow shit up. I often say that I aimed to blow up love, storytelling, and the novel itself in Meets Girl; with The Prodigal Hour, I wanted to blow up the universe, reality, and time.

What’s awesome about being a writer or storyteller?

Being able to blow up the universe, reality, and time? Seriously, though, the best part about storytelling, for me, is the stories. They say necessity is the mother of invention, and it’s the mother of storytelling for me; I tell the stories I need to read because nobody else has written them yet.

Conversely, what sucks about it?

The current publishing model and the business that grew around it for no other reason than a desire to maintain a status quo, and an inability to innovate. Thankfully, though, it’s in the process of changing. I think it’s going to be a hard transition because it’s been so slow to come and has been slow in adoption, but I think the more quickly people embrace the possibility for change, the better.

Deliver unto us a single-serving dollop of writing or storytelling advice (without which you would perish atop a glacier):

“Do or do not. There is no try.” What can I say? Yoda taught me screenwriting.

Your foot is pretty seriously forward in the self-publishing camp. What made you go that way? Did you ever try the “traditional” route, and would you ever try it again?

It’s grown out of a deeper understanding of market, and how to reach it. My first experience in publishing was at USC, which designated its master’s degree as professional writing; pretty much every class I took required us to not only workshop but also submit our work (and the ones that didn’t focused on either business or the literary marketplace. It’s a rare writing program that focuses as much on craft as on business). While at USC, I workshopped several short stories (I’ve always been more a novelist than anything else), but when it came down to submitting . . . well, I thought there were better ways I could invest my time than by submitting to short story markets, which seemed to be either little literary magazines that paid in complimentary copies and “publication credits.” But I still had a decent amount of short stories and essays I liked a lot, and I had experience in editing and lay-out, and Lulu had just started up not long before, and I thought, well, what the shit?

Since March 2007, that self-titled collection has done more than I imagined. That June, it became the first ebook on the iPhone. Last I knew, nearly 10,000 people had downloaded it (and I only don’t know now because Lulu quit recording anything free, which is annoying, and which is why I’ve largely moved away from doing business through them), and that was, I think, two years ago? Something like that.

For a long time, I thought that the twentieth-century model for distribution was useful. (Corporate/legacy publishing–whatever you want to call it–is not traditional. Poe, Twain, Thoreau, and myriad others published their own work long before publishers grouped together to sell specifically to bookstores and refuse unagented manuscripts.) You have to know what your product is and how the market finds that product, and the twentieth-century model seemed to make sense. And yes, while I was at USC, I did go out on submission with The Prodigal Hour. I generally had a pretty good response rate, and several requests for partials and fulls. Ultimately, most of the agents noted that I’m a good writer and it’s a great idea but time travel is a difficult sell. Later, I sent Meets Girl to a couple of the agents who had seen partials of The Prodigal Hour and noted they wouldn’t mind seeing more work down the line, but response there was similar (this time, meta is a difficult sell).

And then I bought a Kindle. Until the third generation, they were awkward, ugly gadgets with terrible buttons and strange designs, and then, this third time around, it was like Bezos finally fired his pre-school engineers and brought in the big boys. For me, the Kindle is truly the only viable e-ink reader on the market; the iPad and nook color both have LCD screens, which disqualifies them from long-form reading, at least for me. Don’t get me wrong: I can totally see using an iPad for just about anything besides reading a novel (and, indeed, intend to both purchase one and design apps–not ebooks–for it). And for a longtime reader, someone who loved books even more than music or movies, I fell for the Kindle the way people fell for the iPod. It’s beautiful, and perfect to hold, and books look great (I don’t mind not having color. None of the novels I read use color interior fonts).

Now, people are going to bookstores less, which are closing–we’re down to two major chains (Books-A-Million and Barnes & Noble) in the US, and the second is focusing on its own digital reader. Which means the whole “You need an agent/publisher! How else do you expect to get on bookshelves?” argument is going rather moot.

By the time I bought the Kindle, I’d already completed “Meets Girl.” And I’d already completed most of my MBA. And I already understood more about business and marketing and strategy plans, and enough to realize that the twentieth century model never actually made sense and carried too much over from Depression-era incentives. Returns? Dumb. Remainders? Dumb.

So I thought, either I could look back at the past and try what everyone else had done and which was floundering and flailing and, ultimately, failing, or I could look at what I had, and what was available, and try to use it as best I could to move forward with it. In an era of recessions, tough economics, environmental troubles, and an explosion of information, publishing my novels directly just seemed to make better sense. My novels are inexpensive ($3) for Kindle (which you can read on almost every reader, save, I think, Sony & Kobo), and the paperbacks look fantastic and print only when people actually want them, so there’s neither overstock nor forests felled. I don’t tend to have blockbuster opening weekends, but I do pretty well over the long term, and I’ve got my eye on the ring, not the bottom-of-the-ninth homer of opening night’s game.

The “traditional” route? Like Poe and Twain? Well, that’s what I’m doing. But you probably mean try to get an agent or talk to bigger publishers than I already am, and there I’d say it would depend on the contract/arrangements. At this point in time, I’m not really interested in contacting agents; I loathe the no-response=pass policy so many have adopted, and I’ve been seeing more of them begin to offer publishing services to authors, which I see as a huge conflict of interest. I could probably benefit from deeper marketing pockets and distribution to Target/Costco/Books-A-Million (I’m already in paperback on Barnes & Noble and Amazon), but I don’t have the exposure of Snooki or the PAC of Sarah Palin, so I’m not sure. I’d also be unsure of giving up digital rights to my work, and I’d expect just about any such arrangement/contract would make that request. I dislike the idea of an advance-against-royalties (I always said that, offered one, I’d give my agent his/her cut and then request the publisher reinvest that cash in marketing, then take more royalties).

Do you have advice for authors who seek to self-publish?

Er. Besides stop calling it that? Beyond the advice without which I would perish atop a glacier? It’s simple: write a book you legitimately think is great, and can stand shoulder-to-shoulder with other books you’ve loved, and share it with everyone you possibly can. But first, FIRST, write that book you believe in. I know it’s hard to manage objectivity. I know everyone loves the thought of being a writer. But seriously, shoot your ego in the head and sit down with your book and read it like you had to find it and buy it, read it like it’s from your favorite author, and ask yourself if you’d be disappointed.

I’m also a firm believer in writing programs. I wouldn’t argue an MFA is necessary, but I know I’m a better writer because I studied at USC.

Finally: get some help. Definitely hire an editor and proofreader and maybe even someone to go over the code. I do all the writing, coding, and formatting, but I wouldn’t publish a thing without my editrix. I like to get my hands dirty in html and cover design, and I’m getting better at it. But the cover for my collection was basic at best. I had reasons for it, and no interest in changing it, but my understanding of design has evolved; I love my covers for Meets Girl and The Prodigal Hour.

What are your thoughts on calling self-publishing “indie” publishing? It’s a contentious term and comes with a bit of baggage.

Now Chuck, you just handed me a can of worms. But that’s okay. I grew up in scouts, and I’ve gone fishing plenty of times. I know what to do with these.

Thoughts? That’s what it is. Independent publishing. There’s no such thing as so-called “self-publishing.” I wrote about it here:

http://willentrekin.com/2010/10/20/theres-no-such-thing-as-self-publishing/

See also my post on Team Indie:

http://willentrekin.com/2011/03/25/team-indie/

First: contentious. I’ve encountered some of the contention you mention. Mainly from people with ties to the twentieth-century model and some legitimate reason (like their careers) they wouldn’t want to see it decline. So far as baggage, I honestly think that the so-called “self-publishing” stigma was baggage propagated by those who had such biases, often in the guise of either “vetting” or “gatekeeping.” The usual argument is that if authors publish their own novels without some third party involved, how will the general public and culture at large know what to read? I’d say Snooki renders that argument invalid, but I know a lot of people who subsequently make the claim that she’s different because she’s a celebrity and . . . the whole debate follows a roughly consistent track.

The thing is: imagine a great wall. Of publishing. Huge and monumental, and with gates along the way, each of which leads to a staircase to the top of the wall, and imagine that a wonderful culture exists on the other side of that wall. Writers want access to that culture, and in recent times, the only way to connect to that culture, and all its readers, was to get through those gates to ascend those stairs. Problem was, agents and editors had the keys to those gates.

Now imagine a huge and monumental force that is eroding that wall as surely as the wind over the Sahara. It’s not fast, but it is surely consistent, and over time that wall is starting to disappear, even if those staircases and gates are remaining intact. Which they are.

After that erosion, writers no longer need to ascend those stairs to get over the wall. They can do so, of course, and sometimes those stairs give them a little more attention from readers, and give them some place of advantage, but they don’t have to do so. Agents and editors won’t give up their keys, and of course they’re desperate to convince writers that the only way to reach readers is to get through those gates and ascend those stairs, but by and large, that wall is getting smaller and lower and easier to traverse. Are those gates and staircases becoming more important, or are agents and editors just becoming more desperate in their attempts to retain hold of those keys and convince writers of their value?

I’m not sure, to be honest, but I’ll tell you what I know: I’m a reader. I’ve shopped in bookstores but largely gave up on them when all the displays went over to Twilight and Snooki and board games and puzzles and it seemed like booksellers wanted less and less to sell stories and more and more to sell . . . well, I don’t know what they sell, to be candid, nor to whom.

I just know what I’ve got. I’ve got some stories I’m damned proud of. And when I look at those stories, I know they don’t belong on a table next to those books. Nothing wrong with being on a table, mind. Just, I know that people who want what’s on that table probably aren’t going to be interested in what I’m doing, and I’m fine with that. I’m content, right now, to continue to publish my novels and stories and essays directly to my readers, but that’s what I’m publishing: novels and stories and essays. Not my “self.” I don’t even know what my “self” is.

I’m pleased to connect with people, to share my stories directly with them. It makes my day when people email me to tell me they liked my work, or when someone tweets the page for The Prodigal Hour and includes an “@” me. Which is also why it’s meant so much to me that you’ve given me interview time and attention on your site. I’m an irregular reader, but I always like what you post. And I think your readers would like my work. So thank you.

Favorite word? And then, the follow up: Favorite curse word?

Cunt. Favorite curse? May you find only closed convenience stores when you need to purchase condoms at 3 am.

Favorite alcoholic beverage? (If cocktail: provide recipe. If you don’t drink alcohol, fine, fine, a non-alcoholic beverage will do.)

Gin. Straight-up, a dirty martini is perfect, especially with, say, Tanqueray or Hendrick’s (I’m a purist; if it doesn’t have gin, it’s not a martini. It’s just a drink in a martini glass, and likely utterly undrinkable). Cocktail: New Amsterdam gin with either Diet Pepsi Max or Wild Cherry Diet Pepsi. Recipe . . . er. Generous?

Recommend a book, comic book, film, game: something with great story. Go!

Book: Richard Kadrey’s Sandman Slim is so good I bought the book’s sequel but haven’t read it yet because the third one isn’t out yet. I like the idea of letting Kadrey stay one book ahead of me, because no matter what happens, there’s another Kadrey book to read.

I sadly haven’t read comic books since Scott Lobdell and Fabien Nicieza and their mid-90s X-Men runs. Although that mid-90s X-Men run, with its time travel and Age of Apocalypse alternate reality, probably influenced The Prodigal Hour in a ton of ways.

I’m going to recommend Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang because I think it’s one of the most tragically underrated flicks of the past decade.

So far as games, well, that’s where some of the story experiences are coming from right now. Two games, Uncharted and InFamous, and their sequels come immediately to mind, and I loved Red Dead Redemption (though I admit I enabled some of the cheats. I had a horse. My horse was amazing). My editrix would kill me if I didn’t mention Bioware and its Mass Effect series.

Where are my pants?

Dude, I don’t know what the midget told you, but I had absolutely nothing to do with it.

Got anything to pimp? Now’s the time!

The Prodigal Hour. Friday July 1, 2011. The world’s first pre-/post-9/11 novel. For Kindle, on Smashwords, and in paperback, as well as serialized at http://willentrekin.com.

Also via willentrekin.com, you can find links to my other work, including another novel, Meets Girl, a couple of short stories, an essay, and a collection.

All right, you’re going to have to sell us harder on Prodigal Hour. Pre-/post-9/11? What does that mean? Give the deeper, harder sell. And yes, I realize that sounds pornographic.

It’s a time-travel novel that opens on Halloween 2001, as well as in 1606. But it certainly doesn’t stay on October 31, 2001 (nor in 1606), even if the events that occur before that date technically occur after it.

See? Time travel. Crazy. Also, epic. In the real sense of the world. Not in the sense of fails and wins but in the sense of spanning all of time and space, a single-generational saga about grief and love and loss and acceptance. Part of it takes place on September 10th, 2001. Some of it takes place–well, I don’t want to ruin that surprise. But what it all comes down to is one young man deeply affected by September 11th, who just wants to make the world a better place, and how what begins with his best intentions becomes instead a desperate race against time to prevent forces he doesn’t understand from not just ending the universe but rather rendering completely and eternally nonexistent in the first place.

Also, did I mention it’s inexpensive? One of the benefits of being independent is that my only middle-man is Amazon. Which means I can price stories and essays at a buck and novels at three bucks, right here:

http://www.amazon.com/Will-Entrekin/e/B004JPDYBY

Seriously, three dollars for 90,000-word novels written under the guidance of gurus like Irvin Kershner and Janet Fitch? How could you possibly go wrong?

Because The Prodigal Hour is not the only thing up, after all. There’s also the aforementioned Meets Girl, which is a contemporary update of Faust with a meta-fictional twist, full of love and romance and writing and Manhattan like Adaptation met The Dreamers and collaborated on a new Annie Hall. Plus short stories about fatherhood and the Blues.

What’s next for you?

Heh. Yeah, your reputation rests on the last thing you publish while your career rests on the next thing, right? My next things are myriad. I’ve got some plans for a couple of novellas and several more short stories, as well as some poetry, this year.

Neat prompt. How about two really short ones?

Once upon a time seeks happily ever after.

Reality creates time in motion.

How would you describe your writing or storytelling style?

Two “ex” words: exciting and explosions. I always want to tell stories that have both surprise and inevitability, and I like to do so in compelling, page-turning ways, but I like to explore all the elements that might make readers turn a page (or press a button, I suppose, with e-readers). My shorter work and my first novel have been more experimental and character-driven, but even in that way, I like to try to blow shit up. I often say that I aimed to blow up love, storytelling, and the novel itself in Meets Girl; with The Prodigal Hour, I wanted to blow up the universe, reality, and time.

What’s awesome about being a writer or storyteller?

Being able to blow up the universe, reality, and time? Seriously, though, the best part about storytelling, for me, is the stories. They say necessity is the mother of invention, and it’s the mother of storytelling for me; I tell the stories I need to read because nobody else has written them yet.

Conversely, what sucks about it?

The current publishing model and the business that grew around it for no other reason than a desire to maintain a status quo, and an inability to innovate. Thankfully, though, it’s in the process of changing. I think it’s going to be a hard transition because it’s been so slow to come and has been slow in adoption, but I think the more quickly people embrace the possibility for change, the better.

Deliver unto us a single-serving dollop of writing or storytelling advice that you yourself follow as a critical tip without which you might starve and die atop a glacier somewhere:

“Do or do not. There is no try.” What can I say? Yoda taught me screenwriting.

Favorite word? And then, the follow up: Favorite curse word?

Cunt. Favorite curse? May you find only closed convenience stores when you need to purchase condoms at 3 am.

Favorite alcoholic beverage? (If cocktail: provide recipe. If you don’t drink alcohol, fine, fine, a non-alcoholic beverage will do.)

Gin. Straight-up, a dirty martini is perfect, especially with, say, Tanqueray or Hendrick’s (I’m a purist; if it doesn’t have gin, it’s not a martini. It’s just a drink in a martini glass, and likely utterly undrinkable). Cocktail: New Amsterdam gin with either Diet Pepsi Max or Wild Cherry Diet Pepsi. Recipe . . . er. Generous?

Recommend a book, comic book, film, game: something with great story. Go!

Book: Richard Kadrey’s Sandman Slim is so good I bought the book’s sequel but haven’t read it yet because the third one isn’t out yet. I like the idea of letting Kadrey stay one book ahead of me, because no matter what happens, there’s another Kadrey book to read.

I sadly haven’t read comic books since Scott Lobdell and Fabien Nicieza and their mid-90s X-Men runs. Although that mid-90s X-Men run, with its time travel and Age of Apocalypse alternate reality, probably influenced The Prodigal Hour in a ton of ways.

I’m going to recommend Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang because I think it’s one of the most tragically underrated flicks of the past decade.

So far as games, well, that’s where some of the story experiences are coming from right now. Two games, Uncharted and InFamous, and their sequels come immediately to mind, and I loved Red Dead Redemption (though I admit I enabled some of the cheats. I had a horse. My horse was amazing). My editrix would kill me if I didn’t mention Bioware and its Mass Effect series.

Where are my pants?

Dude, I don’t know what the midget told you, but I had absolutely nothing to do with it.

Got anything to pimp? Now’s the time!

The Prodigal Hour. Friday July 1, 2011. The world’s first pre-/post-9/11 novel. For Kindle, on Smashwords, and in paperback, as well as serialized at http://willentrekin.com

Also via willentrekin.com, you can find links to my other work, including another novel, Meets Girl, a couple of short stories, an essay, and a collection.

This is a blog about writing and storytelling above all else so before we do anything else, I’d like you to tell me – and, of course, the fine miscreants and deviants that read this site – a story. As short or long as you care to make it, as true or false as you see it.

Neat prompt. How about two really short ones?

 

Once upon a time seeks happily ever after.

 

Reality creates time in motion.

 

How would you describe your writing or storytelling style?

Two “ex” words: exciting and explosions. I always want to tell stories that have both surprise and inevitability, and I like to do so in compelling, page-turning ways, but I like to explore all the elements that might make readers turn a page (or press a button, I suppose, with e-readers). My shorter work and my first novel have been more experimental and character-driven, but even in that way, I like to try to blow shit up. I often say that I aimed to blow up love, storytelling, and the novel itself in Meets Girl; with The Prodigal Hour, I wanted to blow up the universe, reality, and time.

 

What’s awesome about being a writer or storyteller?

Being able to blow up the universe, reality, and time? Seriously, though, the best part about storytelling, for me, is the stories. They say necessity is the mother of invention, and it’s the mother of storytelling for me; I tell the stories I need to read because nobody else has written them yet.

 

Conversely, what sucks about it?

The current publishing model and the business that grew around it for no other reason than a desire to maintain a status quo, and an inability to innovate. Thankfully, though, it’s in the process of changing. I think it’s going to be a hard transition because it’s been so slow to come and has been slow in adoption, but I think the more quickly people embrace the possibility for change, the better.

 

Deliver unto us a single-serving dollop of writing or storytelling advice that you yourself follow as a critical tip without which you might starve and die atop a glacier somewhere:

“Do or do not. There is no try.” What can I say? Yoda taught me screenwriting.

 

Favorite word? And then, the follow up: Favorite curse word?

Cunt. Favorite curse? May you find only closed convenience stores when you need to purchase condoms at 3 am.

 

Favorite alcoholic beverage? (If cocktail: provide recipe. If you don’t drink alcohol, fine, fine, a non-alcoholic beverage will do.)

 

Gin. Straight-up, a dirty martini is perfect, especially with, say, Tanqueray or Hendrick’s (I’m a purist; if it doesn’t have gin, it’s not a martini. It’s just a drink in a martini glass, and likely utterly undrinkable). Cocktail: New Amsterdam gin with either Diet Pepsi Max or Wild Cherry Diet Pepsi. Recipe . . . er. Generous?

 

Recommend a book, comic book, film, game: something with great story. Go!

Book: Richard Kadrey’s Sandman Slim is so good I bought the book’s sequel but haven’t read it yet because the third one isn’t out yet. I like the idea of letting Kadrey stay one book ahead of me, because no matter what happens, there’s another Kadrey book to read.

I sadly haven’t read comic books since Scott Lobdell and Fabien Nicieza and their mid-90s X-Men runs. Although that mid-90s X-Men run, with its time travel and Age of Apocalypse alternate reality, probably influenced The Prodigal Hour in a ton of ways.

I’m going to recommend Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang because I think it’s one of the most tragically underrated flicks of the past decade.

So far as games, well, that’s where some of the story experiences are coming from right now. Two games, Uncharted and InFamous, and their sequels come immediately to mind, and I loved Red Dead Redemption (though I admit I enabled some of the cheats. I had a horse. My horse was amazing). My editrix would kill me if I didn’t mention Bioware and its Mass Effect series.

 

Where are my pants?

Dude, I don’t know what the midget told you, but I had absolutely nothing to do with it.

 

Got anything to pimp? Now’s the time!

The Prodigal Hour. Friday July 1, 2011. The world’s first pre-/post-9/11 novel. For Kindle, on Smashwords, and in paperback, as well as serialized at http://willentrekin.com

 

Also via willentrekin.com, you can find links to my other work, including another novel, Meets Girl, a couple of short stories, an essay, and a collection.

 

 

Adam Christopher: The Terribleminds Interview, Part One

Adam Christopher is a guy I can’t help but like. He’s a great writer, a good friend, and a guy who doesn’t quit when it comes to writing. He’s a machine, which is apropos then that he’s got a couple of books coming out with Angry Robot Books (those fine cybernetic madmen who will also be publishing my first two original novels) next year. And we also share uber-agent Stacia Decker. Anyway — the fact I was able to get him to stop writing for ten minutes so I could strap him to a table and fire Query Particles into his brain is something of a small miracle. Check out his website here, and follow him on Twitter. Oh! And this is a HUGE-ASS MOFO of an interview. Thus, it’s only the first part. Second part airs next week.

This is a blog about writing and storytelling, so before we do anything else, I’d like you to tell me – and, of course, the fine miscreants and deviants that read this site – a story. As short or long as you care to make it, as true or false as you see it.

Ask, and thou shalt receive:

GREEN EGGS AND HANDGUNS

by Adam Christopher

“Murdersville.”

“Never been.”

“Oh, you’d like it. Full of retired cops playing detective. Trenchcoats and hats and murders, the works.”

West raised an eyebrow and raised his glass. The ice silently rocked against the side of the tumbler as he took a sip. He replaced it on the microscopic table between him and Frances and wondered why the table was so small anyway.

“Death and Taxes, Arizona.”

West snorted. “Don’t tell me, retired accountants?”

Frances laughed and studied his own tumbler. The vintage Scotch looked great, it was just a shame it had no flavour at all.

“Oh, better than that,” he said. “Retired forensic accountants.”

“You’ll have to explain to me how that’s better that regular accountants.”

West shifted a little in his chair and glanced around the bar. It looked good. Authentic, with the right level of light (low) and the right kind of barman (surly). To the left of their table was a roaring fire which was silent and put out no heat. Okay, so some things would need fixing. Above, resting on two silver studs in the wall, hung a pistol next to a signed photograph of Walter Koenig. West wondered if the picture, at least, was real.

“That picture real?”

Frances shrugged. “Does it matter?”

“The gun then. I sure hope you’re going to use that.”

Before Frances could reply, a barmaid appeared out of nowhere, balancing a large, dark tray on one shoulder. She dipped down to unload her cargo and smiled sweetly at West. West smiled back, and wondered whether the food would be food or whether it wouldn’t be, like the Scotch. He was hungry, and he told Frances this as the girl placed a silver-domed plate in front of each of them. Somehow the table seemed a little bigger than it had been.

“There’s a lot to be tested, West,” said Frances. He winked at the barmaid as she turned to leave but she didn’t seem to notice he was there at all.

West reached for the cover on his plate but Frances tutted and waved his hand away.

“Allow me.” He lifted the cover with a flourish and a grin. The fire continued to be a pleasant screensaver out of the corner of West’s eye.

Under West’s cover was a smaller tray. On the tray was a plate with two eggs, sunny side up. The sun, on this occasion, was key lime green. On the tray next to the plate was a pistol.

West glanced at the other tray, which looked the same with two eggs with green yolks, except Frances had a revolver. The metalwork was ornately engraved and the white ivory handle handsomely worn. West’s was a more or less featureless automatic, all squares and rectangles and all business and no pleasure.

“The fuck is this?” asked West. There was a knife and fork on the tray too. West used them to lift his eggs and examine the undersides, in case a typewritten explanation from the kitchen was provided below. There was nothing there, and when the egg flopped back down the yolk was still a surprising colour.

Frances seemed less interested in the eggs and was busy eying up his piece.

“This is called ‘Green Eggs and Handguns.’”

“I had a toilet seat this exact same colour when I was living in Florida.”

Frances had tucked a napkin down his shirt front and looked about ready to start surgery. He lifted the knife and fork and then paused, and then pointed at West’s plate with the knife.

“Based on a kid’s story from, oh, long time ago. Hundreds of years. Written by Doctor Who or somesuch. Guy wore a striped hat.”

“No shit.” West slumped back in his chair and wondered why his gun was a government-issued relic while Frances had got the chef’s special.

“Who was your trainer again?”

Frances sliced an egg. The key lime yolk ran to perfection.

“Decker. Four-dimensional story simulation and immersion. Her speciality.”

“Huh.” West was more impressed with that than his simulated meal. “You know who I had?”

Frances ate and shook his head and spoke with a mouthful of green egg.

“No. Tell me.”

“Wendig.”

Frances coughed. “Wendig? You heard what happened to him?”

“I might have,” said West after a sip of Scotch with no flavour, texture or temperature. The sooner he was out of here and back in his cabin, the better. The drink was better, for a start.

“Wendig got brain baked. Took his class hostage, was convinced his beard was conspiring with the Feds. Real tinfoil hat stuff.”

“Oh,” said West. “Maybe I heard something else. I heard they let him retire gracefully, shipped him out to the Motherland. Took his brain out and turned him into a robot or something.”

“Mmm.” Frances had one eye on his gun. “Enough to piss anyone off.”

West smiled. “Oh, he was angry all right.”

West sat back and left his eggs and gun untouched, and watched Frances alternately shovel green yolk into his mouth and stroke the creamy handle of his shooter. The fire in the fireplace looped back to the beginning, and West wondered if maybe the barman had bugged out. He’d been polishing the same glass a mighty long time.

Nothing happened for a while longer. Frances took a thousand years to eat his eggs and West watched the fire and thought about taking a holiday somewhere sunny.

West leaned forward and the bar door crashed open. A man strode in, one hand pushing the door back, the other waving yet another fine handgun around like he was watering the grass. The man caught sight of West and Frances and walked over, quickly. He said something that neither West nor Frances could hear, then raised the gun and fired. West counted four shots, but later on Frances would insist there had only been two. It was something they’d need to work out later.

Satisfaction attained, the man holstered his weapon and sauntered out, buttocks tight like a bad John Wayne impersonation.

West looked down at his shirt. There were two holes, black and crinkled at the edges, showing where he’d been hit but there was no blood. After a second the holes faded away. Beta-testing.

Frances laughed. The sound was wet with key lime egg yolk and flavourless Scotch. West looked up from his shirt and looked at Frances. He frowned.

“What was that?”

Frances waved at the door through which the assassin had entered.

“Golden rule of writing.”

“Never write your novel in Bleeding Cowboy?”

Frances waved again and his eyes went tight and thin with frustration. “Jackass,” he said. “Golden rule: when in doubt, have a man come through the door with a gun in his hand.”

West puffed his cheeks out. He wasn’t sure that Frances was such a good scenario programmer as he thought he was this morning. That was before he’d asked West to join him in the simulation suite and run his story with him.

West stretched, and watched the fire awhile, perhaps happy that he hadn’t tried the eggs. Frances ordered two more Scotches on the rocks. The drinks arrived and the pair drank, for effect if nothing else. The chairs were comfortable, and that was something.

“Truth and Consequences, New Mexico. Popular with retired cowboys.”

West shook his head and watched the ice move in his tumbler.

“Ridiculous. Now I know you’re making it up.”

How would you describe your writing or storytelling style?

That’s actually a pretty difficult question, because it’s not something I really think about. I like to write what I like to write, right? So that just means taking an idea that excites me and that I feel I have to tell the world about, and write a book about it. It could be SF, it could be horror, it could be noir, it could be a mix of all those and more besides.

So if the idea – the story – is king, and if I’m not particularly bound by genre, then I’d have to say the same rules apply to my writing style. My writing style is whatever suits the idea or story being told. It all has to come naturally – you can’t write a story that doesn’t excite you, and you can’t write in a style that isn’t yours. But that doesn’t mean it can’t change – I’ve written steampunk in baroque, Victorian first-person. I’ve written science fiction in a clean, natural style. I’ve written science fiction in a pulp, noirish style. If it works, it works. It should never be artificial – people (and yourself, as the writer) will spot it a mile off. Don’t try too hard. Don’t think, write.

Style is of course different to voice, and voice is one of those intangible X-factors of writing that only really becomes apparent with time. I think I’m still in the process of finding my voice, although there is definitely something there now having written about half a dozen full-length novels – voice is something you discover. Certainly other people say I have a strong voice, even if I find it hard to pin down myself.

What’s awesome about being a writer or storyteller?

You know how some people get excited when they go into a stationery store? All those blank notebooks and clean paper and new pens. It’s all there for the taking and there are, at that single point in time when you walk in the door, no limits. My wife is like that. Please, whatever you do, don’t ask her about stationery.

Writing is the same. There are no limits and no restrictions. When you have an idea, and that idea drives you to create something, there is nothing like it. You’re creating worlds, characters, events and situations which are brand new and which, if you’re doing it right, will start to take on a life of their own inside your head. This is the bit where non-writers start to think I’m barking, but it’s true. When your heroine makes a decision in the middle of a story that wasn’t in your outline, that wasn’t in your chapter breakdown, and that opens a whole new door in the story that you – as the writer – had no idea was there… well, that’s pure creation, and it is the reason I’m a writer.

Conversely, what sucks about it?

The flipside to this wonderful art of creation is the fact that writing is a job and publishing is a business, and this means there is stuff you have to do that isn’t your favourite thing in the whole world ever. However, that’s the same with every job in the world, and that doesn’t necessarily mean it sucks. The worst part for me is editing, but as with any writer it’s a kind of love-hate relationship. I want my story, book, whatever to be the best thing I am capable of producing. This takes a boatload of work, and often the editing is just as an intensive and time-consuming process as the writing. There are times, at 2am when you’ve read your novel so many times you have no clue whether it is good or bad or not – it’s just so many words – that you can feel like throwing it all in and applying for a job with your local parks department so you can at least get some damn sunlight.

But all writers feel like this. Even the big ones. It’s all part of it, and if you can’t accept that then perhaps you really are in the wrong job.

I guess that can be distilled down to one thing that sucks: time. Time away from friends and family, time mashing a keyboard at weekends, on holidays, at Christmas.

But with every investment, there should be a reward. That’s the way the world works, not just writing.

Okay. You say that every investment should yield a reward. That makes me want to ask: how do you reward yourself after finishing a big writing project? Do you do anything for yourself?

Every time I hit some kind of milestone – not just in terms of writing, but also the business side of publishing, like signing a contract or reaching some particular time point on a project – my wife and I go out for dinner. Hey, we like to eat… and we happen to live just a few minutes from a really awesome steakhouse! Both of us are pretty busy people so having a nice night out together is a pretty sweet reward. That seems to be a more meaningful reward than buying something… but I reserve the right to change my mind when the money gets better! And I’ve always fancied a 1978 Lincoln Continental Town Car…

Look for the next part of the interview next Thursday!