FIRST UP, if you’re headed to the big ol’ NYCC next week, hey, guess what? You have a special super secret (okay not that secret because I’m blabbing about it here) to get an early advanced readers copy of The Staircase in the Woods — as above, go to the PRH booth (3021), and say the password, “I’m Invoking the Covenant.” And then, Good Lord Willing and the Creek Don’t Rise, you will receive the book. (As noted: while supplies last.)

Second, hey, did I get my first semi-proper review of the book? Indeed. It’s from a reader, Daniel Fugate, who said in his spoiler-free review:

“There were moments in this book when I almost yelled out loud. There were moments when I wanted to cry or where I was completely horrified. The book doesn’t pull its punches. There are some gross moments in this book. And yet, there’s also something really wonderful in here. Something thats meaningful and something that will absolutely stay with me.”

Which is a garsh darn delight to hear that. And I know other folks who have read the book and have pinged me along the way of this journey and — well, I’ll just say I’m glad that people are really getting the book. It’s a twisty, mysterious journey, and I’m also glad that people are keeping the spoilers locked up tight.

Anyway. I’m doing the page proofs of the book now (as always, ARCs are not the final final edition of the book), and I’m pretty excited.

You can pre-order signed, personalized copies of Staircase from Doylestown Bookshop — I will also toss in something secret, something spoilery, something just for you and unique in the personalization. Shhh. Just do it.

And there’s also a Goodreads giveaway going on…

More as I know it!

Let’s see, what else?

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This week, writers/editors Keene and Golden released the TOC for the upcoming anthology set inside the world of Stephen King’s The Stand…

Foreword by Christopher Golden Introduction by Stephen King

PART ONE: DOWN WITH THE SICKNESS

Room 24 by Caroline Kepnes The Tripps by Wrath James White Bright Light City by Meg Gardiner Every Dog Has Its Day by Bryan Smith Lockdown by Bev Vincent In A Pig’s Eye by Joe R. Lansdale Lenora by Jonathan Janz The Hope Boat by Gabino Iglesias Wrong Fucking Place, Wrong Fucking Time by C. Robert Cargill Prey Instinct by Hailey Piper Grace by Tim Lebbon Moving Day by Richard Chizmar La Mala Horla by Alex Segura The African Painted Dog by Catriona Ward Till Human Voices Wake Us, And We Drown by Poppy Z. Brite Kovach’s Last Case by Michael Koryta Make Your Own Way by Alma Katsu

PART TWO: THE LONG WALK

I Love The Dead by Josh Malerman Milagros by Cynthia Pelayo The Legion of Swine by S.A. Cosby Keep The Devil Down by Rio Youers Across The Pond by V Castro The Boat Man by Tananarive Due and Steven Barnes The Story I Tell Is the Story of Some of Us by Paul Tremblay The Mosque at the End of the World by Usman T. Malik Abigail’s Gethsemane by Wayne Brady and Maurice Broaddus

PART THREE: LIFE WAS SUCH A WHEEL

He’s A Righteous Man by Ronald Malfi Awaiting Orders In Flaggston by Somer Canon Grand Junction by Chuck Wendig Hunted to Extinction by Premee Mohamed Came The Last Night of Sadness by Catherynne M. Valente The Devil’s Children by Sarah Langan

PART FOUR: OTHER WORLDS THAN THESE

Walk On Gilded Splinters by David J. Schow The Unfortunate Convalescence of the SuperLawyer by Nat Cassidy

Afterword by Brian Keene

Okay, that copy/paste is a little weird, but hey, who’s in there? Alongside a holy shit bunch of authors? OH YEAH IT’S THIS GUY

My story, “Grand Junction,” is in there, in the portion of the book that’s set long after the events of the novel. It takes place, appropriately enough, on the Western Slope of Colorado — Grand Junction, Ouray, Telluride.

I feel incredibly fortunate and honestly a little swoony that I get to be in that book. The Stand is one of those formative books for me — of King’s mighty bounty, probably the most formative. Wanderers exists in part because of it — though it’s obviously a wholly different story, it also grapples with some of what is in that earlier novel, because how could it not? (I viewed it like, I hate how some zombie stories refuse to acknowledge zombies in mythology or pop culture, and so in my book, The Stand is a book that exists.) King brings to bear such a legacy, and to be able to stand closer to that legacy and — well, not be a part of it, exactly, but be allowed to exist near it, is honestly huge.

Thanks of course to Brian Keene and Chris Golden for having me, and obviously to King for letting this ding-dong from Pennsylvania anywhere near that world.

And speaking of King…

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This weekend is the Harrisburg Book Festival, where I join Catriona Ward, Richard Chizmar, and CJ Leede to talk about King and his legacy —

Again: too damn cool. So, you should totally come to this? Obviously?

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Hey, am I participating in an auction for Friends of the Ashland Library? I am! Auction opens Oct 15th, details here.

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It’s spooky season. It’s apple season. IT’S SPOOKY APPLE SEASON.

First, find me chatting about Black River Orchard at the Bergen Record with Jim Beckerman —

And second, I’m still over at Instagram reviewing heirloom apples. Join me!

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Monster Movie! is out. SPOOPY FUN FOR THE KIDS. And the adults. There’s definitely not rampant decapitations in the book.

(There are totally rampant decapitations in the book.)

Doylestown Bookshop is a great place to order from, as I can sign it to you or your kids or your pets or whatever. Bookshop.org is awesome, too. (And it’s on sale there and there’s free shipping for the next nine hours…)

ANYWAY. That’s it for now. Eventually I’ll pop back in here, maybe to talk about some other cool things coming up…

I apologize now. I don’t write horror, but the journey of a debut novelist is a terrifying experience. I write women’s fiction which can be defined seventy-two different ways (none of which I’m a fan). But before you delete and scroll on, hear me out: writers are all the same under our sweatpants and craft beer t-shirts, no matter your genre of choice. Here are some tasty tidbits for either new or seasoned scribblers.

ONE: no experience required

Publishing is unlike higher education, my previous career. Being a university administrator for two decades was neat and orderly with square boxes to check. Semesters had start and end dates. Faculty used a succinct grading system. Yes, there were challenges: I balanced million-dollar budgets during the great recession, apparently took the Christ out of Christmas (and subsequently handled an NRA demonstration in the college parking lot), admitted tenured faculty members to mental health institutions—all with aplomb and stylish clothing.

Except writing a novel is a spiderweb of stickiness with no foundation to cling to. The only way to measure your progress is page count. You bumble and stumble trying to learn what you don’t know without knowing what you don’t know. Your ego is bitch-slapped, needing constant validation while jumping through fiery editorial hoops and interpreting publisher feedback. All for a goal that is more ego-driven than financial. And at every step, the ‘am I good enough?’ never fades.

The shrugged industry advice ‘just write what you know’ feels like a cop-out because no one is honest enough to share the dirty secret: it’s pounding the keyboard until something comprehensible squirts out. You pull creativity from your nether regions until salve is required.

And an academic degree is more of a hindrance than a help. Besides the shared topic of persistence, my Ph.D. has no added value. Toss in a B.A. in German, and I’m practically verskunked. Statistically speaking, traditionally publishing a book has comparable odds of earning a Ph.D.: between 1-2%. But a book takes longer. Like forever.

My take: Few careers will seamlessly fit into your new author personae.

TWO: goals are relative to your age

Elizabeth Sails is my debut novel. I’m 55 and exhausted.

I blame my writing group. Eight years ago, they said, “Write a sassy book,” and I listened. I’d been writing articles for local lifestyle magazines, which provided a glimpse into publishing. Making word counts, finding brevity, and hitting deadlines – I learned a lot. But a novel? Instead of churning out happy pieces on food trucks, local beer, and yoga for 20 cents a word, a book necessitated a boatload of creativity and budget for more printer ink.

My publishing goals included not just “write a book” but “seeing a woman on a cruise ship reading my book.” To achieve this task meant finding and involving people who wore clothing without elastic waists: publishers, editors, a literary agent. You know, professionals. I adroitly recognized (being in my late forties) I had to get started pronto. I admit there were days I simultaneously watched Intervention drinking boxed wine, wondering how old was too old to be a debut ingenue. But more importantly, was getting a novel published even feasible? Guess what? It is.

My take: There is no optimum time to write a book so stop dilly-dallying and start now.

THREE: it’s years not months

Your characters don’t age, but you do. While on submission and editing, cultural references including songs, food, and technology must be finessed because, yikes! Time does tick. Suddenly the mom character aged into a grandma. Smartphones became simply phones. Waitresses and waiters are now servers. I’m totally woke for this. And it makes sense. But golly-gee-willikers if I don’t feel the need for a daily multi-vitamin and pre-emptively scheduling another colonoscopy.

And editors are young—practically teething babies. My typically rock-solid sense-of-self nearly crumbled when my editor requested removing Lucille Ball as a reference. I gulped, how about Carol Burnett? Who? As I was describing red hair color, she recommended two actresses I ultimately had to google (I can google). I wiped my weeping bifocaled-eyes typing to replace their names. But I absolutely refused while stomping my comfortable Skecher-foot down to substitute Bon Jovi lyrics for Taylor Swift. (Note: she’s great and all, but c’mon, Livin’ on a Prayer?).

And if this doesn’t trip you up, the publishing world has its own language. I’d rather it was Babble-able instead of using multiple definitions for common English terminology. In their own convoluted word-speak: “soon” means in a year, “very soon” in six months, “immediately” by the end of the month, and “ASAP” possibly by next week. Maybe. Basically, they’ll get back to you whenever.

My take: Nothing is happening on your timeline.

FOUR: move thyself

Or you’ll be buying new bras. And bigger pants. Yes, this is an expense your accountant will probably nix but I disagree. All this creative genius takes place whilst sitting on your ass which equates to an increase in clothing size. Add in cruises for ‘research’ and Holy Boobies Batman, I can’t see my shoes anymore. And if you’re on a civilized cruise line that extends complimentary cocktails, then you’re in a whole heap of trouble, sister. Your liver decides it needs a holiday from your holiday.

To counteract this new devilry, I took yoga classes. Then I started swimming. Then walking. And I lost a total of 11 pounds, just before I bounced onto another cruise. By the way—did you know you weigh the same while only standing on one foot? Of course you do. And while weight gain is adorable, it never helps your self-esteem. Which is in the dumps anyway because you’re a writer. We may as well envelop our ballooning bodies in bubble wrap and throw darts at each other.

My take: Save yourself the drama and go up a size.

FIVE: make writer-friends

But you know this already. It’s in every writing-advice article I’ve ever read. Making friends is certainly nice, but let me tell you why. It’s simply a time-saver. You don’t have to habitually explain what an agent/publisher/editor/publicist does because they already know. Plus, you tend to lament the same topics as previous conversations. Before the rant begins, writer-friends typically ask, “Do I say bullshit or awesome this time?” Or if they’re writer-friends on a deadline, “Let me know when you’re done. Just give me a heads-up and I’ll make a comforting noise.”

And you love them for it. You give them a free pass when they’re grouchy or irritated because they do the same for you. And if something super-duper exciting happens (book offer, foreign-rights, or a film deal with a recognizable production company on board) you are genuinely happy for them. Even while gritting your own teeth.

My take: Find down-to-earth authors who offer real advice, even if you don’t want to hear it. These people are worth hitching your wagon to. Who knows? You may meet them at a conference without a byline to your name, and years later wind-up writing for their infamous blog. It could happen.

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Kristin Owens, Ph.D., is an award-winning faculty member with over 25 years university experience. Now a full-time writer in sticky southwest Florida, Kristin has over 100 bylines with celebrated magazines such as Writer’s Digest, Wine Enthusiast, and 5280. Her personal essays have won New Millennium Writing Awards honorable mention, awarded finalist for the New Letters’ award in nonfiction, and included in RISE! a Colorado Book of the Year. She holds certifications with the Court of Master Sommeliers and Cicerone and travels the world writing (and drinking) about wonderful wines, beautiful beers, and surprising spirits. You can usually find her working and playing on a cruise ship. ELIZABETH SAILS is her debut novel.

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Kristin Owens:  Facebook  | Instagram | TikTok | Threads | X

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ELIZABETH SAILS (paperback, eBook, and audiobook) available at Amazon | Barnes and Noble | Bookshop | Books-A-Million  or your favorite independent book seller

Beth Schiff ghostwrites autobiographies for politicians, except her own life doesn’t warrant a footnote. Excitement is re-watching classic movies with a Whitman’s Sampler. But when her adventurous Aunt Ethel dies, Beth must scramble out of her comfy sweatpants and into some Spanx to find the missing will aboard a luxury cruise ship.

Figuring out which fork to use at dinner becomes the least of Beth’s worries. The will isn’t lost … it’s hidden. Aunt Ethel devised an elaborate scavenger hunt and each exotic port stop forces Beth to confront her list of insecurities to get the next clue. If she fails, millions revert to a much-hated relative, Max, who is responsible for her dismantled family.

When someone starts trying to sabotage her search, the game becomes personal and her energetic septuagenarian tablemates rally to help. But Beth must make the puzzle pieces fit before the cruise ends or Max gets his greedy hands on the money destined for charities.

For fans of The Bookish Life of Nina Hill and The Jetsetters, comes a heartfelt story about an unintended quest for self-discovery, forgiveness, and an awesome buffet.

And away we go! Out now: Monster Movie!, my next middle grade horror from LBYR (Little Brown Young Readers) — let’s get your procurement services out of the way, shall we?

Signed, personalized books can be ordered from Doylestown Bookshop!

The End Bookstore / Let’s Play Books should also have some signed copies, though they won’t be personalized, so order from this great store.

Of course — your favorite indie bookstore is always an excellent choice, as is Bookshop, B&N, Amazon, Kobo, Apple, Libro.fm, Audible, and so forth.

And don’t forget your local library! They may carry it and if they don’t, you can request that they do, because libraries are awesome like that.

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In this hair-raising and hilarious novel by New York Times bestselling author Chuck Wendig, a boy must face his many fears to save his town from a cursed videotape—before “The Scariest Movie Ever Made” devours his friends and family.

Ethan Pitowski is afraid of everything. Luckily, his best friends don’t mind, and when their entire class gets invited to watch a long-buried horror movie at the most popular boy in school’s house, Ethan’s friends encourage him to join in the fun. But when the “scariest movie ever made” reveals itself to be not just a movie about a monster, but a movie that is a monster, only a terrified Ethan escapes its clutches. Now he must find a way to stop the monster and save his friends (and also, um, get their heads back).

With his signature balance of kid-friendly horror and humor, Chuck Wendig crafts a spookily heartfelt novel about anxiety, friendship, and finding your unique voice and inner strength.

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Is it good that pretty much every professional reviewer has compared it to Goosebumps? I hope so. It’s certainly an honor to be compared as such.

Why’d I write this book? Hey, as a kid, I was scared of everything, and weirdly, I was extra scared of horror movies — not just of the content of the movies but of the movies themselves, as if they had outsized power merely by existing. My sister told me about THE SCARIEST MOVIE EVER, aka, The Exorcist, and how people were like, dying in the theaters because it was so scary, so suddenly horror movies to me became as much a monster as the monsters they contained — if a film could scare you so badly you died of fright, that’s horrifying! And I thought, okay, well, that’s an angle for sure.

Also, there are a lot of decapitations in this books, so have fun with that.

It’s fine. I promise. It’s umm, it’s fine.

*clears throat*

ANYWAY, hope your kids enjoy it, hope you enjoy it, hope you check it out.

BYE

QUICKLY, TO ME, MY VALIANT READERS

Ahem. Okay. Here’s just a scattershot blast of newsy-bits from yours truly.

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A reminder that I’m at a bunch of cool places starting next week, and you can find that list right here. With some additions!

Monday night, I’m hanging at THE END Bookstore in Allentown, PA, from 5-7PM, doing a little pre-launch event for MONSTER MOVIE! There will be prizes and maybe some snacks and a dollop of delight. Deets here. You can also order books from them, and I’ll gladly sign ’em!

Also October 24th I’m going to be at the Bucks County Book Fest fundraiser — “A Taste of Book Fest” — at the Inn at Fox Briar Farm. Deets here.

The rest is the same! Philly with ML Rio! Denver for the Rocky Mountain Gold Conference! Then Chicago, Milwaukee, Madison and Minneapolis with Kevin Hearne and Delilah S. Dawson! And finally, Harrisburg Book Fest, now with CJ Leede, Rich Chizmar and Catriona Ward omg. We’re going to be talking about the mighty legacy of horror’s own royalty, Stephen King.

Come say hi! I might have a few more apple stickers left! Bring me weird apples! Wear cool Wendigian merch! Or don’t! I am not the worm inside your brain that commands you!

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It’s me, speaking with the mighty Roger Sutton at The Horn Book!

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I got to chat with EXCELLENT WRITER and COOL PAL Kameron Hurley on Get To Work, Hurley. Go check out the podcast. Do it!

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I was fortunate enough to be on a digital panel about writing Middle Grade Horror with Justina Ireland, Lora Senf, and Dan SaSuWeh Jones, courtesy of Becky Spratford — check it out here.

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Capes and Tights did a nice review for MONSTER MOVIE! which comes out… oh holy crap, this Tuesday. “Not all authors can do what R.L. Stine was able to make his name doing with Goosebumps, but every once in a while a talent writer comes along and gives it a go and man did Wendig do just that.”

(For the record, I think every professional trade review of the book referenced Goosebumps in comparison to MM! so that’s very exciting.)

(And, honestly, an honor.)

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The Madison Daily Leader shouted out Black River Orchard:

“The twists and turns in this story and numerous, and to say that fans of ‘this’ or ‘that’ would certainly give spoilers to the story; however, it is safe to say that fans of Stephen King would likely enjoy this book.”

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Finally, I am 100% doing apple reviews over at Instagram this year — this time, on reels. OOOH, PIVOT TO VIDEO. Anyway. Go find me on IG.

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Don’t forget —

The Staircase in the Woods comes out in April 2025. Pre-order now from Doylestown Bookshop — folks ordering signed, personalized books from there will get a secret message featuring a unique [REDACTED] from yours truly, plus maybe some other neato swag.

Doylestown has a special pre-order page for the book —

And you can find it here.

OKAY BYE

Look at these fuckin’ assholes.

No no, look closer–

This is the part where I tell the computer, “ENHANCE.”

Let’s be clear, I don’t know these people, I don’t use them. One assumes the other authors in that batch (Charlie Jane Anders, Alix Harrow, Sarah Gailey, Marlon James, Kameron Hurley, Annalee Newitz, and others) also are not affiliated with them in any way.

They seem to have multiple websites and landing pages, all of which promise the standard panoply of BESTSELLER STATUS AND FANCY AGENTS AND OH THE SIGHTS WE CAN SHOW YOU. One assumes it’s all a hot cup of horseshit. But then again, maybe we only need to ask the writers in one of their testimonials, Ryan Heath —

Thrilled with the what? The service? The hold music? The canapes? The nipple-ticklings? Well, whatever. I’m sure it’s good. Thanks, Ryan Heath, for your thoughts. Let’s listen to another very real author, Joy Shawn —

In the hands of professionals who what? Anyway, I’m sure he just fell asleep in the middle of the testimonial, this very real person named Joy Shawn. I found it to be a much needed perspective from WELL HOLD ON AND WAIT A GOSH DARN MINUTE

RYAN HEATH, OR SHOULD I CALL YOU, JOY SHAWN

*thunder crashes*

Well let’s just do a little reverse image search here annnnnd

Wow, this guy’s everywhere, huh. Lot of Russian pages, too.

Needless to say, I’m not affiliated with them.

They’re giving scam vibes. Avoid. Report. Or go use their chat function to mess with them, if you’re so inclined.

Needless to say, this sort of thing is never necessary for a writer, even if it were legit, which it’s almost certainly not. They make big promises and offer dubious evidence of delivery. Be safe, be smart, be wary, and definitely scrutinize stuff like this with the world’s biggest magnifying glass. This one is easy to see for its steaming fractures.

If you ever see anything affiliating itself with me or my books, and you wanna ask if it’s real, please don’t hesitate to drop me a line.

Bye.

(Thanks to Gabino Iglesias for pointing this out.)

And now, a guest post from certified cool dude, Kevin Hearne:

Okay: Whew. Here in September, things are looking a bit more hopeful. But back in January, I was worried about ruining my shorts because it seemed we were all trapped on a fascist roller coaster and were about to top out and begin our rapid descent into terror. Rights were (and are) being stripped away by right-wing state legislatures and courts, and I found myself looking to escape into stories where fascists were defeated. And I discovered something curious: There were (and are) plenty of anti-authoritarian stories, but not as many explicitly antifascist ones. Why? Maybe because fascists are huge dicks. They attack and keep on attacking because of that thing I just mentioned where they’re huge dicks. (Sorry, should have warned you the circular argument would swing around and hit hard.) History teaches us that appeasement doesn’t work. Neither does negotiation, because you can’t negotiate with folks whose starting position is that large swathes of humanity don’t deserve human rights. Exactly two things work: 1) you make fun of them or 2) all that stuff the Allies did in Europe in WWII.

Thankfully, the Harris/Walz campaign is doing a great job of option 1. And no one wants option 2. But as a stress relief valve—to get me through the election—I wanted to read fiction where fascists got the heckin’ heck kicked out of them. To make sure that happened, I started a little imprint called Horned Lark Press, then reached out to an author who wrote the last explicitly antifascist fiction I read: Lilith Saintcrow. Her novel Afterwar scratched that itch years ago when I read it, and I asked if she would like to write some fascist-stomping sci-fi pulp fiction.

Friends, she did.

And when, months later, I finally got to revel in its profane, violent bloodbath—a story about a border runner who darts into fascist territory in a fractured North America to save someone and incidentally get a bit of revenge—I knew I’d need some pulptastic cover art. I found Phineas X. Jones, who was a delight to work with, and he crafted character sketches to make sure Lilith was happy before crafting the final composition.

So here is the cover for COYOTE RUN—but let me preface it by saying the quoted blurb at the top is entirely fake, and the final cover will have a real blurb from someone whose name isn’t Pisstaker. It’s there because we have to make fun of fascists. So please enjoy this Limited Edition Couchfucker Cover.   

You may notice the badge at the top left that says Amazing Tales of Antifascist Action! Vol. 1. That’s because I dearly hope we get to have many more volumes written by various authors—either fantasy or science fiction—with the same pulpy vibe. And, of course, I’d like to read more adventures featuring Coyote and Marge—those are the women on the cover kicking ass. Here’s the official summary:

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In the first Amazing Tale of Antifascist Action, New York Times bestselling author Lilith Saintcrow serves up science fiction pulp in a North America fractured by drones, bioweapons, and ideology, giving us a heroine practically made out of violent resistance.

THE RUNNER

Just behind the front lines of a war they call “civil,” the shifter called Coyote is tough, fast, ugly—and known for taking jobs nobody else will.

THE JOB

Marge’s sister is locked in a prison camp civilians shouldn’t know about, deep in enemy territory. Rescuing her will take a plan made of weapons-grade insanity.

THE TRICK

To get in, all Coyote has to do is get caught.

THE PAYOFF

None, unless the satisfaction of killing an old enemy counts. And maybe a few small bounties from murdering fascist clones…

RUN, COYOTE. RUN.

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Eh? Come on! It’s a deeply satisfying and bloody tale. You want it. You need it. You’ll feel better. And real people, not A.I. techbros, will get paid, because Horned Lark Press will never, ever use A.I. for anything. (Aside from its baked-in plagiarism and the immense environmental damage it’s causing, the people behind A.I. are absolutely backing the fascists in this upcoming election.)

When you preorder COYOTE RUN directly from Horned Lark Press, you’ll get three bucks off the cover price, a bookmark from us, a couple of antifascist stickers, and a postcard featuring the Couchfucker Cover suitable for your office, refrigerator, or mailing to the uncle you argue with at Thanksgiving. It’s a smokin’ hot deal. Preorders from other vendors (and in other formats like ebook and audio) will be coming soon.

Buying direct from Horned Lark will help a small press grow and acquire more stories, of course. While we’re starting out with antifascist action, we plan to publish all kinds of spiffy stuff—just not military sci-fi or copaganda.

If you happen to be a published author who’d like to take a look at an advance copy of COYOTE RUN for possible blurbage—we need to replace that couchfucker quote, after all—hit me up using info@hornedlarkpress.com. Likewise, if you’re an established author who might be interested in writing a novella for the Amazing Tales of Antifascist Action! series (or anything else), please holler.

We’ll be opening up to general submissions in the spring.

Thanks so much for reading, y’all. And for voting.