Chuck Wendig: Terribleminds

Apple-Obsessed Author Fella

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Fuck The Straight Line: How Story Rebels Against Expectation

Imagine, as the image indicates, a straight line.

This straight line is everything.

It is your path through school.

It is your path through life.

It is the status quo.

It’s eyes forward at your school desk. It’s a cubicle monkey job. It is the safe and simple path. It stretches out in a calm and linear fashion. It has handrails and is nicely lit and has benches and pigeons and old people sitting on benches and old people feeding the pigeons.

The straight path is the direct path.

It is also the path of the protagonist before a story begins. It is the life everyone expects of her. Or, perhaps, the life that everyone demands. The line is situation normal. The line is plain vanilla frosting. The line is office parties and yearbook photos.

The line is conservative and afraid.

The line is fucking boring.

Let’s add some lines. Let’s mix this shit up.

That is Freytag’s Triangle, or Freytag’s Pyramid.

It is often defined as the expected structure for story.

We have our inciting incident: a thing happens. That one thing that happens is a thing that complicates every other thing and so we end up with rising action — that action lifts and rises and eases upward like a roller coaster on a gentle incline until the cork pops and the cookie breaks and then it’s all downhill from there, a climactic gasp and rupture before tumbling downward in the falling action toward resolution.

It is, in a sense, also the larger arc expected of our lives.

We’re born, we learn shit, we do some fucking stuff, job and friends and family and sex and conflicts and complications and triumphs and then one day we reach some unseen narrative apex and after that it’s all soft foods and oversized diapers and beds with hospital rails.

Given over, as it were, to the denouement of death.

This triangle is, as triangles are, three straight lines bolted together at the joints.

Which makes it more interesting than one straight line.

But, frankly, the triangle is still boring.

It’s also pretty fucking inaccurate.

Here, then: another line.

A line of life. A line of story.

A line that pivots and shifts on up-beats and down-beats. A plus for a win, a minus for a loss. A steeper rise based on a more bad-ass triumph: we won the race, we got the job, we killed the bad guy, we painted the Mona Lisa. A steeper descent for a perilous fall: a parent dies, we lose our business, the bad guy wins, bankruptcy, disease, betrayal, oh no, oh fuck, egads.

Or, little bumps and dips: found my keys! Broke a heel! Hey, a cupcake! Oh damn, dog poop.

This is not the expected line.

The expected line is straighter. Or more gradual.

It’s pre-defined. Pre-understood.

But our lives are not pre-defined. Nor are they well-understood.

Which means our stories shouldn’t be, either.

A line can be any shape we want it to be. A gentle curve suggests a slow build and a slide downward. A sharp peak is a knife’s blade, a mountain’s peak, a fast rise and a quick fall.

Lives and stories needn’t be driven by a single line. We can imagine a number of lines running together, tangled into knots. Here a line of plot, of narrative beats. There a line of character. One line for emotional tension, a second for physical, a third measuring thematic shifts or tonal turns or the signal-fires of various mysteries lit with questions and doused with answers.

Sometimes lines go fucking batshit.

As they should.

One line falls when you think it should rise.

One line ends when you think it’s just beginning.

Some lines are the snake that bites its own tail, a spiral, a circle, looping back on itself and becoming that thing and that place it was trying to flee all along.

Some lines detonate — a plunger pressed, a dynamite choom, an unexpected gunshot in the dark of the night, a sudden collapse of an old life, a death that is life that is rebirth that is death all over again, a massive avalanche, a soot-choked cave-in, a heart rupture, a giddy explosion.

The lines of our stories and our lives should not be safe, straight walking paths.

They should be electric eels that squirm and shock. They should be the lines in Escher prints, the peaks and valleys of mountains and volcanoes, the sloppily painted strokes of a drunken chimpanzee. The right line, the interesting line, is a line that defies, that spells out fuck this noise, that is shaped like a middle finger aimed squarely at the expectations of others.

Storytelling is an act of rebellion. Story is a violation of the status quo.

Everything the straight line tells you to do is how you know to do differently.

When you think you have the answer, defy it with a new question.

When the path seems well-lit, kill the lights and wander into darkness.

When the way is straight, kick a hole in the wall to make a new door.

When everything seems so obvious, closes your eyes and look for what remains hidden.

Seek the wild lines.

The straight line is our anti-guide.

Do so in the act of narrative design, of storytelling architecture. We anticipate what is expected — the music swells, hero saves the princess, the protagonist seems to have lost everything, the villain twirls his mustache, the dominoes line up in a nice neat pattern and fall one by one as ineluctable as the phases of the moon — and then we say, fuck that shit, George, and we kick over the dominoes and we kill the princess and we make the villain the hero (and he doesn’t have a mustache to twirl but rather mutton chops to comb vigorously). We take a camping hatchet to Freytag’s Fucking Triangle and chop it into pieces and make our own shape — a mysterious square, a love rhombus, a thrilling tumbling dodecahedron of two-fisted spectacle.

It shows us too how to describe things. The status quo is a known quantity and so it does not demand the attention of our description — we know what a chair looks like, a bed, a wall, the sky, that tree. The straight line is as plain and obvious as a pair of ugly thumbs. We know to describe instead the things that break our expectation, that stand out as texture, that are the bumps and divots and scratches and shatterpoints of that straight line. We describe those things that must be known, that the audience cannot otherwise describe themselves, that contribute to the violation of their expectations. We don’t illuminate every tree in the forest: just that one tree that looks like a dead man’s hand reaching toward the sky, pulling clouds down into its boughs, the tree from whence men have hanged and in which strange birds have slept. We describe the different tree. The tree that matters. The crooked tree that doesn’t belong.

And we as storytellers are the crooked trees that do not belong.

For what we do is an act of twisting the straight line, not just in the architecture of our own stories but in the design of our own lives, not just in the art itself but in the life-long expression of that art. Nobody wants you to be a storyteller. They want you to sit in a box. They want you to crunch your numbers or fill that pail or dig that ditch or learn how to do the things that will let you make that money, hunny-bunny. They want you to do the things that are expected of you. They want to wave to you from their own straight lines, comfortable that you’re all on the same ride together, certain that you’re all safe and going in the same direction and, oh, hey, look, benches, and old people, and pigeons.

But the storyteller is the shaman. The storyteller whoops and gibbers and flees the safe path — the firelit path — and then wanders off into the darkness and learns things in the deep shadow. The shaman dances in the labyrinth. The storyteller gleefully wanders the tangle. They disappear out there within the occluded mists until it is time to return and record all of what was found there in the maze-knotted channels of the human mind. Those truths must be recorded, then swaddled in layers of lies and imagination and grim whimsy (grimsy!) before finally shared with all those out there so that they too may find ways to leap the guardrails and find their way away from the straight line.

Our stories are best when they are put to paper and made to reflect the bravery and madness of the storyteller, to mirror our Byzantine hearts, to channel the chaos of life and love and all the unexpected and unpredicted things that come along part and parcel.

Our stories are best when they are like the storyteller: when they have gone off-book, off-world, off the goddamn reservation. When they have forgotten their lines and made up better ones, when they have lost the map and found secret passages and unknown caverns.

Don’t be afraid to do different. Don’t be afraid to tell stories the way you want to tell them. With genre or page count or style, with voice or plotline or character, I say hop the rails, I say kick down the walls, I say tear up all that yellow DANGER DO NOT ENTER tape. Be bold. Ride the sharp turns. Gallop down the mountain switchbacks. Tell your stories the way you want. Tell the stories that aren’t married to a safe and previously-established pattern.

Be the shaman in the darkness.

Find your own shape. Seek your own circuitous route.

Escape. Disobey. Rebel.

Fuck the straight line.

A Font Of Wisdom — Get It? Font? Font Of Wisdom?

I think I blew the joke with the blog title.

What I’m trying to say is —

Since switching from PC-Land to Mac-opolis, I’ve since lost a considerable number of the fonts I’d built up on that old PC. Which is not a huge deal, really — many of them were total pants. Just the same, it has come time, I think, to not so much replenish the same fonts on the Mac but to build a bigger and better army with which I can write profanity and pithy sayings in very big, very pretty letters.

And so, I ask you about font.

What’s your favorite font?

To write in? For titles? For posters or other typographical design work?

Bonus points if it’s a font I can download free or cheap somewhere!

This isn’t just about me replenishing lost fonts, though —

I am genuinely curious which fonts you love and use the most.

FONT ME, BABY.

In Which I Am Nominated For A Campbell Award

My life as a writer so far has been spent basking in good company. I feel genuinely, stupidly, weirdly lucky to be doing what I do, to get to tell stories for a living and to do so in a realm full of kickass human beings and maybe the occasional sentient spam-bot.

As such, I have been nominated for the John W. Campbell Award for Best New Writer.

I have been nominated alongside fellow authors:

Mur Lafferty

Stina Leicht

Max Gladstone

and Zen Cho.

Further, the past legacy of eye-popping Campbell nominees rolls deep.

I am a lucky duckling.

Thank you all for the love.

I’m going to go tremble and twirl around in a mountainside meadow and sweat and maybe start cobbling together armor from found objects in my office for when Mur Lafferty tries to shank me in the kidneys. Because she will. I just saw her in the shrubbery sharpening a toothbrush.

Full list of this year’s Hugo and Campbell award nominees here, which contains such wonderful authors as Joe Hill, Saladin Ahmed, Seanan McGuire, John Scalzi, Ken Liu, Cat Valente, and more. See you all at LoneStarCon at summer’s end!

 

The “Amazon Is Bad For Authors” Meme

Amazon bought Goodreads.

You probably already knew that if you’re even marginally connected to social media and have any friends at all who read books. You probably also know it because lots of folks were in quite a tizzy about the whole thing. Hair on fire. Pants exploding. Blood pouring from their eyes as if from the elevators in The Shining. Quite the sight to see.

This isn’t a post about that, not really.

I think Goodreads is okay. It’s a good community but a clumsy site. Hard to use, funky sort, web 1.5 design. They’ve had some issues with reviews and reviewers and moderation in the past. Though they also provide some nice data to authors and the Goodreads giveaways are a plus… so, on the whole, it’s a positive, it was just kludgey enough and had enough issues where I never really got deep into using them. So, Amazon buying them is a good move for Amazon (obviously), and reportedly Goodreads is going to remain independent at least for now.

I’m going to assume that Amazon buying Goodreads is complicated. A mix of good things and not-so-good things. And that it’s probably also not one of the Seven Wax Seals that breaks and signals the Bookpocalypse, where Jeff Bezos spears the angels Barnes and Noble with his sword made of melted Kindle Fires, where all our Amazon rankings suddenly become 666.

It is not the End Times for publishing.

Anyway, whatever.

Whenever this sort of thing happens — whenever Amazon so much as sneeze-farts — social media lights up with frothy condemnations. Which are, at times, deserved. Hey, remember when Amazon removed Buy buttons from people’s books? Or when they instituted that non-policy policy about authors not reviewing authors? OR WHEN THEY ATE YOUR BABY?

Maybe not that last part. Point is, Amazon’s hands are not soft, innocent lambskin unsullied by the dirt of capitalist digging. Sometimes they get downright muddy.

Just the same, there exists a component of the meme that seems to suggest Amazon is categorically bad for authors (and to an extent, for readers). And I don’t agree.

First, Amazon sells books. They do so pretty well. It ain’t perfect. I’m not fond of how they handle discoverability which felt much better five years ago than it does today. (I’ve seen memes that suggest discoverability is more for publishers than for readers, to which I make a trumpeting poop noise. I want with online procurement what I used to get by walking into a bookstore — that languid curious kind of magic where I wander the stacks and find books and authors I’d never heard of before. That works at bookstores. It doesn’t work at Amazon.) Just the same, Amazon pushes a great many books into a great many hands both physical and with the Kindle and while I’m a bit daft at times, it’s hard to see how that’s a negative for authors.

Second, KDP. We can all pretend that self-publishing is equally as awesome on B&N or Smashwords or iTunes, but it isn’t. KDP with the power of the Kindle has added a whole new option for authors that was only marginally feasible before. This isn’t always great for readers (flooding the marketplace with books is now an option, which stands in the way of that discoverability thing I was talking about), but it’s pretty rad for authors.

Third, Bookscan. Amazon gives authors access to Nielsen Bookscan numbers. Without cost. It’s a valuable tool that puts some data in the hands of authors — imperfect data, but here I think that’s better than no data at all — and that wasn’t generally available before. (At least, not immediately.) (Puzzling, though, to me, is why Amazon doesn’t make available Kindle sales numbers. Seems an easy transparency to provide?)

Fourth, their publishing arms. Now, to make it clear — I have books coming out with Amazon’s YA imprint, Skyscape. And that will limit those books in some fashion (though how big or small remains to be seen). Just the same, as publishers, they pay competitive advances while offering clear monthly royalty statements (other pubs tend to offer them quarterly). As an author, they’ve been great to work with. A strategic partnership through and through.

Again: Amazon is by no means perfect.

But I think it’s becoming increasingly easy and popular to take potshots.

Worse, it’s easy to say that they’re bad for authors when they do quite a bit of good, as well.

As always, this is all just one silly author’s opinion.

You may return now to your regularly-scheduled blood-pouring-from-eyes.

Come Meet Me In South Florida On April 13th!

NINJA AUTHOR HANGOUT.

Me. Maybe you! In Fort Lauderdale! In Florida, AKA, “America’s Moist Hot Land-Wang!”

On the dreaded SATURDAY THE 13th.

Wait, that’s not a superstition, is it?

Whatever.

Here’s the deal:

On 4/13/13, at 11:30 AM, I will be at the Stranahan House museum.

You should totally come by.

I’ll talk. I’ll read a little of my newest, The Blue Blazes, if you care to hear it, or maybe Under The Empyrean Sky, or maybe I’ll just read off my credit card numbers and you can all go have a spending splurge. I’ll sign books if you have ’em. I’ll maybe give some stuff away provided the TSA doesn’t steal it from me (YAY JAR OF BIRD FLU SIGNED BY ME.) Afterwards, if there’s a cause for it, we’ll go out and get coffee. Or sandwiches. Or liquor. Whatever!

For parking: Parking is available for a reduced rate of $5 at the Riverside Hotel Garage located next to the Historic Stranahan House Museum. Please bring your parking ticket to be validated to receive this special rate. (Reduced rate not available for valet or surface parking lots.)

Do me a favor, drop me a comment below if you think you might show up?

Tell your friends! Tell your enemies! Tell your cats!

MEET ME IN THE PANHANDLED LAND-WANG.

(And thanks to my fine friends at the Stranahan House for the space.)


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