Miriam Black is back.

And once again, inked by the mad scientist known as Joey Hi-Fi.

Miriam Black, the poison pill psychic who can see how you’re going to die just by touching you, returns in a new high-stakes horror adventure that drags her from the hoarfrost hell of Philadelphia in winter to the bleachy bleary sand-brined Sunshine State of Florida.  In The Cormorant, someone has a score to settle with Miriam Black, and sends a message written in blood sent through the cruel channels of fate to spur her forward on a path twined with revenge and redemption. New loves, old family, broken relationships — all of it crashes together sure as the dark surf smashes into the bone-white seawall.

To catch up on the other two books in the series before Cormorant lands in December:

Miriam Black Book #1: Blackbirds.

Miriam Black Book #2: Mockingbird.

(Both are pretty cheap as e-books right now: under $5 a pop.)

So, women authors are sometimes asked a series of particular questions that are often sexist at best or misogynist at worst, and so for fun, WHACK! Magazine’s Lela Gwenn took some of those questions and asked them of two dude authors instead.

Those two dude authors being me and Stephen Blackmoore.

The results of that experiment are here.

(For the next iteration of this, I’d love to see Seanan McGuire’s suggestion of asking these questions of male authors who are ignorant of this phenomenon. Or, at the very least, spring these type of questions on male authors who think they’re getting a normal interview about their books — you know, and then suddenly someone’s asking them about how pretty they feel or about pregnancy or children. Like a prank. But socially relevant!)

(Though for the record, people ask me a lot about my toddler, but one assumes that’s because I talk a lot about the teacupped tempest known as “B-Dub.”)

EDIT:

Okay, additional thing:

Let’s crowdsource the worst, most offensive and outright dopiest questions posed to women authors. What other questions do women authors get asked that men never do? Let’s hear some examples. Pop ’em in the comments below.

I love Twitter because it puts me in contact with other writers who are amazing and interesting and who I would’ve never met otherwise. Mina Vaughn is one such authorly type, and so I’m happy to have her here talking about her debut: How To Discipline Your Vampire.

Tell Us About Yourself: Who The Hell Are You?  

I’m Mina Vaughn, a pin up princess and a shoe whore with a heart of gold.  I’m a vicious foodie, a globe-trotter, and a writer of comedic smut.

Give Us The 140-Character Story Pitch for How to Discipline Your Vampire:  

A punishment-seeking vampire meets a role play-obsessed Domme and hilarity ensues.

Where Does This Story Come From?  

I like combining genres and just sticking my head into the echo-chamber of pop culture and seeing what sticks together.  For me, nothing was a funnier or more relevant concept than vampires and bondage.

How Is This A Story Only You Could’ve Written?  

Well, I think to pull off such a strange combination, you really need to have a sense of humor and the ability to NOT take yourself too seriously. Which I think is hard for writers, especially debut authors.  When my agent said she wanted to read this, I was sort of stunned.  Then, when Simon and Schuster wanted to buy it, I realized that– my god– other people thought this was funny and not completely weird and insane.

What Was The Hardest Thing About Writing How to Discipline Your Vampire?

I’d say balancing the sex and the humor.  I really had to take a good look at where jokes were in relation to the steamy scenes.  The last thing you want during a sensual moment is to laugh, since that breaks the mood.  And there is a lot of sex in this book.  But there is also a metric fuckton of humor.  So yeah, balance.

What Did You Learn Writing How to Discipline Your Vampire?  

I learned that quirks define us.  There are billions of people in the world, zillions of stories.  To write one that sticks requires originality of epic proportions.  I think part of the reason that my story was picked up by such a major house was the fact that they hadn’t seen anything like it before.

What Do You Love About How to Discipline Your Vampire?

The girl power.  Cerise is a Domme, and in a genre dominated (pun intended) by alpha males, I have a badass heroine and a submissive hero.  He is still swoonsauce, he still makes all her dreams come true, but he doesn’t growl at her or stalk her.  I would like to see more non-alphas in the world of romance.

What Would You Do Differently Next Time?  

Next time I’d push the envelope with stakes.  This story is more about characters, not earth-shaking consequences, so I think that if I write a sequel, it would have to up the excitement factor.

Give Us Your Favorite Paragraph From The Story: 

Reveal to me only what you choose. Show me only what I deserve to see. I await.

I smiled at his wording. He was being very careful with me, as he should. Every sub understood that his Domme should set the pace, and even though he knew we were entering a sexual relationship, he didn’t want to assume too much.  Good.  This move empowered me and put me in the right mindset. I couldn’t be swooning and falling all over him—what kind of message would that send? They say in the teaching world, “Don’t smile until Christmas.” Essentially, if you were a softie from the start, they had full reign to walk all over you.

Remember not to smile, remember not to smile, I kept telling myself as I got into character– Muffy the Vampire Spanker.

What’s Next For You As A Storyteller?

I’m currently working other books in the vein of my debut.  Namely, funny Dommes taking over the world one unsuspecting gentleman at a time.

Mina Vaughn: Website / Twitter

How To Discipline Your Vampire: Amazon / B&N

I’ve had the pleasure of hanging out with Mister Mike Underwood on many an occasion and he is a smart, funny, geek-fed dude who also happens to know publishing inside and out while also being a helluva writer. His first book, Geekomancy, got a lot of buzz — and now the sequel’s here:

TELL US ABOUT YOURSELF: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?

I’m Michael R. Underwood, and when I’m not subliminally programming readers to buy novels by Chuck and other Angry Robot authors, I’m the author of the Ree Reyes urban fantasy series.

I have degrees in Folklore, Mythology, and East Asian Studies, which basically makes me qualified to write the novels I’m writing. I don’t know how the publishing thing happened. I think it might be that I’m resistant to the Mind Rays. But I’ve said too much.

GIVE US THE 140-CHARACTER STORY PITCH:

Snarky geek sells her first pilot, but the leading lady’s magic is being turned against her. Plus, fight scenes and pop culture jokes.

WHERE DOES THIS STORY COME FROM?

After writing Geekomancy, I wanted to come up with some magical styles that could complement what I’d already created – and Celebromancy was my best bet. I’ve been interested in modern conceptions and constructions of fame for a while, since in a former life I was a grad student in media/pop culture studies.

HOW IS THIS A STORY ONLY YOU COULD’VE WRITTEN?

The best argument here is likely that I’m the only one who has precisely my opinions and observations about pop culture and celebrity. My lead, Ree, shares many of these thoughts, so it’s through her that I get to talk about the nature of celebrity and how SF/F fandom interacts with celebrity, as well as expectations of women in the entertainment industry and the tension between independent artists and monolithic corporate concerns.

WHAT WAS THE HARDEST THING ABOUT WRITING CELEBROMANCY?

The hardest thing was finding the balance between striking new ground as a second book in series while still keeping enough of what made book 1 the cool thing that it was. I’d never written a sequel before, so there were a lot of questions I asked myself and reflected on while writing. How much should I re-explain things that were established in book 1? How much should I spoil? How far should I advance the timeline? Can I keep the character balance the same, or do I need to change to a new status quo? Will that status quo become the default for the series?

Thankfully, I had the great input of my editor, who helped me find that balance, so that Celebromancy could stand alone for new readers while still building on what had come before in Geekomancy.

WHAT DID YOU LEARN WRITING CELEBROMANCY?

Romance is really hard to write well. When you slow down and focus on emotional reality and relationships outside the lens of fight scenes and relentless action, there’s an incredible range to play with. This isn’t surprising, since Romance is its own genre, and the best-selling genre to whit, but it was a lesson I learned and processed emotionally with this book, where before I’d mostly appreciated it intellectually.

Now that I’ve written the romance plot in Celebromancy, I’m more confident to write bigger, more complex romantic plots in future works.

WHAT DO YOU LOVE ABOUT CELEBROMACY?

I love that I am getting paid to take a lifetime’s worth of fandom and geeky experiences, of reading gaming sourcebooks and re-watching TV shows, a lifetime of sharing my enthusiasm, and putting it into prose so that my enthusiasm can be spread around the world and shared with people I may never have the fortune to meet in person. To me, that’s the greatest practice of Geekdom I could possibly imagine.

In less profound statements, other things I love are that I got to write a fight scene where my lead fights a dragon with a light pole, where she gets to Leverage her way into a hotel, and where I get to poke fun at the ridiculousness of contemporary celebrity culture.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO DIFFERENTLY NEXT TIME?

Ooh, good one. I’d probably throw in more eye-popping Celebromancy action. The style turned out to be a little less eyeball kick-y than Geekomancy, and I probably could have done more to fix that. As is, I like that the styles are distinct, but I think I could have my cake and eat it too on this one if I could go back and do it again.

GIVE US YOUR FAVORITE PARAGRAPH FROM THE STORY:

“It’s almost like she was a complex person who behaves in a variety of ways depending on her decisions in the moment. Madness!”

The above being Ree’s thoughts about Jane Konrad, the star of Awakenings, who Ree is having a hard time grokking as a person – one day she’s a gracious philanthropist, that same night she’s partying it up, heedless to consequences. I love this passage because it came very clearly, very freely, as the next logical thought that Ree would have, and because it makes a point that people aren’t always one thing, don’t always act consistently.

I think it can become a trap in writing that characters must always be perfectly consistent except along the singular axis of their personal arc. And that’s just not how people are in real life. We’re walking clusters of contradictions, doubts, striving and failing and reacting. Fiction isn’t real life, but for me, this was a place where falling on the side of verisimilitude felt like the right decision.

WHAT’S NEXT FOR YOU AS A STORYTELLER?

Right now I’m working on the first draft of the first book in the YOUNGER GODS series, which will also be coming from Pocket Star (book 1 is looking like a Q4 2014 release). YOUNGER GODS is also urban fantasy, but it’s a big departure from the Ree Reyes series – it’s notably darker, and has nothing to do with pop culture.

The series stars Jacob Greene, the only humane member of a sorcerous cult who flees the family to learn about the real world, until his older sister comes to town to raise one of the unborn gods that their family worships.

Small problem – waking the Younger Gods will signal the end times. So Jake has to make friends (which he’s terrible at) and gather the NYC magic community to stop his sister before she can kick off Armageddon. No pressure.

And in closing, thanks Chuck for having me back on the Terribleminds stage, and thanks to everyone for reading. Now that you’ve been sitting for the alloted time, the mind rays should have sufficiently persuaded you to buy more of Chuck’s books from Angry Robot, so it’s a win for everyone. Thanks!

Mike Underwood: Website / Twitter

Celebromancy: Amazon / B&N

Fireside Magazine, the brain-child of editor Brian White (or is it the Brian Child of Brain White? He’s the editor, ask him), has returned!

After a successful Kickstarter campaign, Fireside is back for a whole year’s worth of stories with a brand new website, logo, and tagline (Many genres. No limits. Just good stories.).

You can subscribe to the next 12 months of fiction, or you can buy individual issues.

The first issue of the year is up.

It features stories by Delilah Dawson, R. M. Kehrli, and Krystal Claxton.

Oh, and it features a little something-something by me, too.

See, I have a serialized story that will run for the next 12 months.

That story, “The Forever Endeavor,” is about a man who finds a very special box with a very special button that does a — well, obviously, a very special thing.

It’s a bit of a departure for me in the way I’m writing this one — while I have a sense of the overall story, I’m outlining and planning only as far as I am writing into each increment. I try not to plan too much beyond an individual chapter so as to maximize the cliffhangery weirdness that will go in inside this tale. And I’ve never written something serialized before, so this is exciting stuff. (This is actually a story that’s been pinballing around my head for about 18 years.)

Part One is up.

Go check it out by subscribing to this great magazine — a magazine that embraces great storytelling across a wide variety of genres and that pays its writers and artists well above the average.

(The awesome banner at the top is from Galen Dara’s art for part one of “Forever Endeavor.”)

Here is what goes through my head when I edit:

Who wrote this drivel?

Shit, it was me. It was me.

This thing reads like a fucking VCR repair manual. Is this even English? It’s got all the grace and elegance of a drunk girl puking in a potted plant at a frat party. It’s got all the speed and potency of an old man with a colostomy bag rolling clumsily down a shallow hill. It’s ugly like the winking sphincter of a sick giraffe. IT’S TURDS THE WHOLE THING IS TURDS AAAAAAGH FIRST DRAFT? MORE LIKE WORST DRAFT AM I RIGHT OR AM I RIGHT

I DUNNO IF I’M RIGHT

I DUNNO ANYTHING

WHO AM I WHAT IS MY VOICE WHAT IS THIS PIECE OF MONKEY DICK I WROTE

AGH AGH AGH AGH

*ten minutes of sobbing*

Okay. No. It’s cool. This is where the magic happens. The first draft is just me dumping all the puzzle pieces out. But it’s still a jumbled image. This part is where the art lives. This is when the story is smashed together, piece after piece. I can make it all make sense! I can polish this turd to a burnished, blinding sheen so bright it will blind the very heavens!

Thank all the gods and all the devils for good editors.

These notes are great.

Though they remind me how terribly inadequate I am.

But that’s fine. I’ve got a shaky flashlight. I can see the way forward.

Okay, see, yeah, all right, this part’s pretty good. And I thought it was terrible when I wrote it. Sweet. Nice. Yes. Gold star. Trophy. Triumph. Except, this other part I thought was awesome — that I need to be awesome — is clunky. Kludgey. I’m reading it and it feels like I’m chewing a piece of dry bread and cheese — it’s a hard slog and I can’t swallow it oh my god the reviews when this book comes out are going to murder my soul.

*shallow breathing*

Breathe in. Breathe out.

It’s all just pieces. Start big. Go little.

Every component just needs some attention. That’s easy. Take a wrench to this one. A hammer to that one. We fix things by breaking them. This is surgery.

Sometimes you stitch. Sometimes you chop off a limb.

Nice. Yes. Things are looking better.

I’m feeling good.

Moving along at a nice clip, now

OH HOLY FUCKMITTENS A GIANT PLOT HOLE

*falls into it*

*breaks narrative ankle*

*spasms*

crap crap crap crap

This thing’s like a Sarlacc pit — a suppurating desert canker. You could lose a whole Rancor Monster in this thing. It doesn’t make sense. Where’s the logic? What was I thinking? Was I high when I wrote this? Did someone else write this? IS THIS A PRANK BY A TIME-TRAVELER? This doesn’t feel right. The character wouldn’t act this way. This doesn’t feel authentic to the time or the place or the scene or my writing or to ANY AND ALL OF REALITY shit shit shit poop crap fuck balls cocktaco jizzwich shimmering blumpy nuggets AAAAAAAAA

*takes 15 minutes to commune with the sparkly collective intelligence called ‘Twitter’*

*trades witty banter with other procrastinating writers*

*improves mood by four micrometers*

Oh! Oh my gosh. Look. If I just rewrite this one tiny paragraph, add a couple hundred words, it ties everything together! Ha ha ha! It’s like a little knot! Like I’m tying a shoe! That’s all, a quick loop and lace and here we are, all fixed, all tidy, we can start to run again and —

GODDAMNIT this thing is so delicate, so sensitive — I moved once piece and now ten other parts don’t make sense. I removed one little widget, one tiny flywheel and now the watch doesn’t tell the right time in fact it’s not telling time at all but instead broadcasting HONEY BOO-BOO in Portuguese by the love of sweet saint fuck aaaaaagh

*starts kicking holes in manuscript*

*takes an axe and starts chopping out whole paragraphs, chapters, characters*

*guzzles vodka and Red Bull*

*plays Xbox for a while*

*takes an angry nap*

*hastily rewrites destroyed sections*

These characters are stupid —

This plot is transparently bad —

I HATE THIS BOOK WITH THE BURNING STENCH OF A GARBAGE FIRE

I am inadequate as an author

Possibly as a human being

Nobody should let me near words again

BECAUSE I’M MESSING THEM ALL UP

theme what’s theme mood THERE IS NO MOOD this isn’t a story arc so much as it’s just a dead clown in the desert whose innards have been eaten by coyotes and whose gassy carcass is now the home of slumbering lizards everything is soggy and deflated and the tension is blown out like a nail-popped wheelbarrow tire and everything is falling out into the mud and the slurry

gazza booza fuzza wuzza

bbbbbbbbbbt

oh god help

hold up

what’s this now

hey wait

this section is pretty good

that section’s not bad either

man I kinda love this character

editing is rewriting is rewriting is rewriting

it’s better now than it was

that’s a good sign right?

DEAR UNHOLY DEMONS, IT’S IMPROVING

maybe it doesn’t suck as bad

maybe it doesn’t suck at all

woo!

I’m doing it!

I’m editing it!

I’m turning a piece of lead into — well, not gold, exactly, but at least a reasonable facsimile of something that isn’t terrible! It’s amateur hour alchemy, motherfucker! it sucks less! I suck less! everything sucks less! I HAVE SUCKED THE SUCKITY SUCK FROM THIS SUCKY SUCKFEST

THAT’S ONE CHAPTER DOWN

SIXTY MORE TO GO

*cackles and weeps*