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Delilah S. Dawson: Ten Ways To Torture People (In Fiction)

Most of us move through life hoping everything will go well and turn out exactly as we’ve imagined it. Most of us are therefore disappointed. This is even more true for characters in books, because without failure and pain and chaos, there is no story. A book in which everything goes right is exactly one sentence long. That means it’s up to the writer to uniquely torture their characters. In my most recent book, THE VIOLENCE, three generations of women use a pandemic of random violence to escape the cycle of abuse they’ve been stuck in. These three women have to fight everything from a new pandemic to their loved ones to the police to the cashier at a drug store to professional wrestlers. This book was an exercise for me in torturing your characters for the most satisfying and cathartic ending possible. Here’s how to do that.

Make torture part of the premise. When you’re developing the idea for your book, you don’t want to start with a perfect person in a perfect world. You want a character with specific flaws and fears who is uniquely challenged by their world. Pain should be baked right into that backstory. Even if you want to start with a generally happy character and take everything away from them, they should still have flaws and fears you can prey on while melting them down and forging them in a crucible of pain.

Throw thumbtacks in the cake mix. When I wrote my first few books, I wanted the characters to be relatable to literally everyone, which never works. We don’t want mild, smiling cardboard cutouts; we want characters so real and rich and messed up that it’s like we already know them. That means they have to be flawed—and not, “he’s so handsome no one believes he’s a spy”. Real flaws. Deep wounds. Troubled backstory that comes up at the most inconvenient of times. The key is to make them flawed but somehow likeable, meaning that if he’s a gruff jerk, we immediately learn it’s because he lost his entire family in a werewolf attack—and then we see him save a kitten when no one is looking. Maybe giving a character flaws and fears isn’t technically torturing them… but it’s more like throwing thumbtacks into the cake mix. Make it real enough and they’ll torture themselves.

Kick off with failure. I wrote an article for Crimereads called ‘Make the Face Match the Ass’ (https://crimereads.com/delilah-s-dawson-transformataion-in-thrillers/)which focuses on creating symmetry between the beginning and ending of a book. Since your protagonist generally triumphs at the end of the book, it’s nice to give them a symmetrical failure at the beginning. That means that if your character beats the bad guy in a hula hooping competition at the end, we see him suffer a tragic hula hoop-related accident at the beginning of the book. This failure can be as simple as being too shy to talk to a crush or as huge and terrible as Louis allowing his toddler to get run over in Pet Sematary. The bigger the fall, the better the rise.

The obstacle is the way. From the very beginning, make sure that there are all sorts of built-in problems for your character—don’t make it easy for them. You want to keep your reader on the edge of their seat, not knowing what will happen next. If possible, end every chapter on a cliffhanger or a question. If a chapter ends with a character happily falling asleep, it’s easy to put the book down and scroll through Instagram. If the character is falling asleep and hears a noise downstairs when they live alone, the reader may be compelled to keep reading.

When you’re not sure what to do next, think about the worst possible thing that could happen—and make it happen. Unless you’re a very strict outliner, chances are you’ve left some wiggle room for discovery in your first draft. Sometimes, you come up with the perfect idea while driving to work and feel like you’ve been tongue-kissed by the muse. Sometimes you come to a roadblock and your character is basically staring up at you like God in heaven, asking what comes next. That’s the perfect moment to throw a boulder at them. Let tragedy strike. Have them be attacked. Have their ex show up. Hit them with food poisoning. At the very least, throw a terrible, thundering downpour on them. Then they can’t stare up at you anymore.

Find your Jayne Cobb. It can be tempting to create a cast of characters who are all beautiful and perfect and lovely and get along famously, but again, that’s not a story—that’s a Publix commercial. When you add secondary characters, love interests, and acquaintances, build in that friction. Old grievances, moral differences, annoying habits, opposing wants and needs. Give your characters a reason to argue, to fight, to seethe. Sometimes the most interesting parts of the story come from what naturally happens between characters in quiet moments. It never hurts to throw a raging asshole into the mix and see what is extruded on the other side.

Even one small pebble can feel like the end of the world. Sure, a car accident or alien attack brings strife, but don’t forget how quickly the little things add up. If you don’t believe me, just put a pebble in your shoe and leave it there all day. Raccoons stealing food, a sneeze when silence is necessary, a child who won’t stop crying—it all adds up. If your character is on a journey through the forest and time is of the essence, a horse throwing a shoe is the biggest problem in the world. Don’t neglect the small things that become big things.

But don’t forget the big things. So we’ve got little things and people and fears and flaws that can create friction, but there’s so much more! Most characters are at odds with big things, too—the very foundations of the world. Culture, economics, laws, mores, religion. If a character loses their shoes in the swamp, they might not be allowed in the gas station if the guy up front is really serious about No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service. I’ll never forget Louis (yes, another Louis) from Ghostbusters trying every door and window of the upscale restaurant that wouldn’t let him in and then falling prey to the Terror Dog because of a few locked doors and some snooty waiters. When in doubt, put your character in an altercation with some authority and see where they end up.

At the All Is Lost moment, dial the torture up to 11. Right before The Big Fight or whatever you have as a climax, there’s always an All Is Lost moment. That’s when it feels like your character can never possibly win and, well, all is lost. It’s the dark night of the soul, the moment the protagonist wants to give up. Your job is to push this moment as far as you can—mentally, emotionally, physically. You need your backstory, flaws, fears, wounds, discomfort, betrayal, and hopelessness to all come together in one hot, lumpy stew for your protagonist to swallow down and fight past. We really have to believe they can’t win or can’t go on.

All this pain will be valuable to you someday. When you hit the climax of the story, that’s when you take your long list of tortures and show how your protagonist uses what they’ve learned to fight back. Take that pebble out of their shoe and load it into a slingshot. The purpose of all that torture was to mold your protagonist into someone capable of defeating not only the bad guy—but also that poor sap they were at the beginning, the weak wiener with all the worries. The harder you’ve pushed them, the higher they can rise when it’s go time. That’s what makes us stand up and cheer—having watched this character go through hell, keep on crawling, and finally triump, just like we all wish we could do (without having to suffer all the torture, of course).

But if you really want to see how I torture my characters, please pick up a copy of THE VIOLENCE. It’s available in all the usual places as a hardcover, e-book, or audiobook. Chuck liked it, so it must be good, right? [ed: I totally fucking loved this book and from page one you get the sense it’s something special, also here is where I note Delilah, myself, and Kevin Hearne will be going on a short li’l book tour next month: NYC, Rhode Island, Boston-area.]

Also, someone is bludgeoned to death with a bottle of Thousand Island dressing, and that has to count for something.

***

Delilah S. Dawson is the author of the New York Times bestseller Star Wars: Phasma and Star Wars Galaxy’s Edge: Black Spire, The Violence, Mine, Camp Scare, the Minecraft: Mob Squad series, the Hit series, the Blud series, the Tales of Pell (with Kevin Hearne), and the Shadow series (written as Lila Bowen), as well as the creator-owned comics LadycastleSparrowhawk, and Star Pig, plus comics in the worlds of Firefly, Star Wars, the X-Files, Adventure Time, Rick & Morty, Marvel Action: Spider-Man, Disney Descendants, Labyrinth, and more.  Find her online at delilahsdawson.com.

Update To The Tiny Tour!

We have officially added a third date!

CHECK IT OUT.

Wednesday, March 16 at 7:00pm

Strand Book Store

828 Broadway, New York, NY

Link for tickets.

Thursday, March 17 at 7:00pm

The United Theatre

5 Canal Street, Westerly, RI

*Presented by Savoy Bookshop & Café

Link for tickets.

Friday, March 18 at 7:00pm (or 6:30pm?)

Barnes & Noble

1 Worcester Rd, Framingham, MA

Store info here.

It’s me, Kevin Hearne, Delilah S. Dawson, and again we are tentatively doing an in-person tour next month, like, literally a month from today, holy crap. We will sign books. We will sign babies. We will ask that you be masked and vaxxed. We will talk and engage in various shenanigans. It will be great. As long as none of you cook up some new OMEGATRON variant in the next four weeks. BE COOL, EVERYBODY. Just. Be. Cool.

See you in NY, RI, and MA! Er, hopefully!

(*We’re doing this in support of The Violence, the paperback release of The Book of Accidents, and the new editions of The Iron Druid!)

Wonky Site Goblins

So, you may have noticed as of late the site has been… uhh, let’s go with erratic. The basic story is this, and I’m typing this now under the assumption it may return to wonky goblin-fed shitmess in the next few hours —

So, a few months ago, the site went down a couple times. Just down. Gone. Erased. Brought from back up, fine. Updated everything, that stopped happening. Then it was replaced by a Chinese search engine. Replaced from backup, fixed again. Then, a couple week ago — ads started showing up on the site. Google ads.

First, found the ad code in widgets.

Deleted the code.

Ads went away.

Then, two days later, ads came back up, this time found that plugins had been installed without my permission — !! — and those plugins were creating widgets and using the code. Deleted plugins, shored up security.

Ads went away.

Two days later — ads were back. Took forever to find where they were — it was code in my theme. So I disabled that theme, went to the default theme annnd —

Ads went away.

Six hours later, they came back. And this time they were cascading through the backend of the site, and it became largely unusable. So, we shut down the site and applied new security protocols and here we are, once again, no ads.

No idea how long it lasts! So, I’m sending out this message in a bottle to update you. Still chasing down goblins in case. More as I know it! Apologies for chaos!

Merch? Merch!

So, I used to do merch. Art Harder, Motherfucker, and Certified Penmonkey and all that fun stuff. Except, time took its toll and I dunno, I got distracted by a shiny object, because essentially at the core I am an easily-distractible crow. The merch faded with time, into the mists.

But now. Merch hath returned.

Check it out right here.

I’ve partnered with awesome human, Jordan Shiveley, who designs and operates the merch-realm known as voidmerch, and as such, he’s begin to upload a number of Wendig-slash-terribleminds-slash-novel-themed designs.

You’ll find a panoply of sinister designs that will break your mind and steal your teeth. I mean, that or just make you look fashionable as fuck decked out in your fancy Wendigalia. Which is not a word. But it is now, shut up.

I mean, this is just a sample of what’s there:

You’ll also find a new ART HARDER, MOTHERFUCKER design (clean version also available) there. Plus Black Swan, Magic Skeleton, Ramble Rocks, and more.

And there will be more designs to come.

Please to enjoy, slavering merchwolves.

(As a sidenote, I recognize my website is showing advertisements. It shouldn’t be! Something has gone wrong, and I’m working on it. Every time I get rid of them, they come back, which is suggestive of a hack, so I’m going to have to start kicking in doors to see what the hell is happening in the code. More as I know it.)

Lickity-Quick News Kick, Slick

Very quick, let me light a news-scented candle and waft the gentle perfume in your direction:

First up: The Book of Accidents is on the long list for the Stoker Awards. Thanks, all! Here’s hoping it ends up there. That’s really cool and I’m in really great company. Sidenote, I re-upped my HWA membership after many, many, maaaany moons.

Then, I got to talk about creepypasta on Gavin Purcell’s very cool podcast, Way Too Interested. The creepypasta expert was the wonderful Lucia Peters. It’s a fun podcast where you basically are interested in a weird topic, and Gavin invites on an expert in said topic, then you all… talk about it. Check it out here. Or don’t. I’m not your dad. Yet.

And over at LitReactor, Gabino Iglesias talks about the books he’s looking forward to that are coming out in 2022 — some real classy picks on there from the likes of Alma Katsu, Paul Tremblay, Ursula Vernon as T. Kingfisher, Clay McLeod Chapman, Eric LaRocca, Cassandra Khaw, and more. “And more,” by the way, is a not-subtle hint that maybe just maaaaaybe Wayward, the sequel to Wanderers, is on that list, which you can find here. And here I note too that Gabino has a fistful-of-teeth book coming out soon, a shiv-in-the-kidney read that will blow your ass away — The Devil Takes You Home, out the same day as Wayward, August 2nd, 2022.

Finally, speaking of Wayward, you can preorder it at B&N today using the code PREORDER25, for 25% off. That is, if you’re so inclined. Link here.

HOKAY BYE

A Little Tiny Baby Of A Book Tour?

Hey, guess what?

I might maybe mayhaps kinda sorta could be coming to your neck of the woods soon, in person, assuming that a) your neck of the woods is somewhere in the Northeastern United States and b) some new COVID fuckery doesn’t rise up and bite us on the ass in the next two months.

What I mean to say is —

Hey! Me, Kevin Hearne, and Delilah S. Dawson are doing a few bookish visits in March!

March 16th, the three of us will be at The Strand in NYC, at 7:00PM. (Details.)

March 17th, we will be at the United Theater (via the Savoy Bookshop) in Westerly, RI (Details.)

And March 18th, we hope to be… somewhere in or around Boston, MA? TBD!

These events will require both masks and vaccinations, because we are not monsters.

And of course, again, it behooves me to note that chaos could come to roost upon us once more if COVID coughs up some new ROBERT LUDLUM’S OMEGA VARIANT that entirely botches our efforts to show up anywhere in person. But! We’re trying it. And we hope you’ll be there. I’ll be out in support of The Book of Accidents in paperback, Kevin will be shouting about the awesome new reissues of his Iron Druid series, and Delilah will be celebrating the truly amazing book, The Violence. Come see us. We will talk about stuff and try to be funny. We will devalue any and all books we can with our signatures. Here’s hoping Omicron is truly peaking and waning and we have a chance to do our (gasp) first in-person events in like, years. I dunno what that’s even going to feel like?

*panic attack ensues*

(And ideally I will be touring this summer for Wayward, but we will know if that’s possible as we get closer to that time. Keep your eyes peeled. Also, ew. Don’t peel your eyes. That’s nasty.)