A biting, post-modern horror about day jobs and monsters – one of which will devour you whole, but perhaps not the one that you think. What will you put up with to not have to go back to the day job you hated? A lot apparently, a whole HELL of a lot.

Noah desperately needs a new job that involves less blood and piss than his current one. So, when he spots an ad for a newspaper with ‘No experience preferred’, he puts on his good shirt and marches down to their average-looking office to unknowingly sign his life away.

Malachia is the only human left in the City of Silence and she spends her time wandering its empty, bone-filled streets. Until one day she finds a lone figure hunched over a typewriter, his fingers enmeshed with the keys. Could he be the answer to finding her missing girlfriend?

Propelled by their pursuits for rent money and truth, Noah and Malachia are pushed to their limits by a sinister media powerhouse. Will either of them survive the darkness that ensues?

Writing dialogue is fun and that’s how books get huge

Before this novel, I had, obviously, never written something this long before. I had always marveled at the PHYSICAL MASS of words that some writers could commit to the page. I had also sort of rolled my eyes when a writer would talk about being SURPRISED by what the characters had to say or where conversations went. (I mean you’re writing them how the fuck is it a surprise) And then I started writing character dialogue regularly and I had that AHA moment. They were right and I was wrong, these characters who I thought I had known were some CHATTY MOTHERFUCKERS and were just going on for thousands of words when my mental outline had been much, MUCH shorter. In fact, I had to reign them in often to keep from just bloating the book with constant banter. That’s how books get big, uncontrollable literary ghosts that just whisper nonstop in your ear and demand that you transpose all their inane conversations. 

The whispering shadow behind my fridge has some very good ideas and is not just always a judgy jerk

This writing experience also taught me that you need to let go and rely on others in the writing and editing process at times. Other writer friends, editors, the WHISPERING SHADOW THAT LURKS HUNGRILY BEHIND YOUR FRIDGE. That last one was a true treasure of a discovery. I mean I had always known it was there right? But normally it just would comment on the ripeness of my teeth, the ripeness of my friends’ teeth, the ripeness of…well you get the picture. But while I was working on this book it really had some insightful things to say about the pacing and overall structure of the novel. We would stay up late many nights workshopping particularly tricky sections of the book . . . and commenting on the ripeness of the character’s teeth. 

Characters and books really do have a voice that surprises you

I did not set out to write a funny book. I have been informed that I have written a funny book. Just like being surprised by character dialogue spooling out of control prior to writing this I had been skeptical of statements like “I had no idea the plot was going there” or “I am as surprised as you are that X character did X action” Like how is that possible when you are the brain it is coming from? Whelp. It is possible. In my little secret writerly heart I had hoped to write something in the tone of someone like Brian Evenson and instead the novel has been described as “Douglas Adams lit on fire and with row after row of glistening teeth” which I am totally okay with, but it was quite the experience to be writing and just watch it run away into this entirely different tonal direction that what you had first set out to write.

There are many variations of ripeness for human teeth. 

I heard something once call the human mouth an orchard planted in secret and waiting for the harvest. That kinda sticks with you and in fact there are like whole charts for judging the ripeness of human teeth and when they are best plucked. Who knew? Now you do.

Sometimes done is good and you can always write a sequel

This book took far too long to write and if my editors had let me continue pecking away it would have been twice as long. It is good, I think, to allow wiser heads to guide you towards the exits when you’ve started building hallways over where the doorways used to be and adding new wings and subterranean annexes on what was meant to be a summer cottage. That is not to say you can’t immediately start working on that cabin in the woods for the upcoming winter. I’ve already started outlining the sequel to HOT SINGLES IN YOUR AREA and am champing at the bit to really dig into the writing of it. But I would still be probably adding new parapets and linen rooms to this house if left to my devices. I am happy to be instead poring over the blueprints of what is to come.

Jordan Shiveley is a writer and designer who lives and works in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Their work has appeared in venues such as Nightmare Magazine, Baffling Magazine, The Best Horror of the Year Volume 15 and various anthologies from Neon Hemlock among others as well as roleplaying games. Their Debut novel HOT SINGLES IN YOUR AREA is now available from Unbound. (Also, editor’s note: Jordan is the one responsible for Voidmerch, of which there is WENDIG MERCH if you are so inclined to seek it.)

Hot Singles In Your Area (UK): Bookshop.org | Waterstones | Amazon UK

Hot Singles In Your Area (US preorder): Bookshop.org | B&N | Amazon