Get Your Very Own Evil Apple Variety: The Revenge

HEY THERE. I’ve had a few people ask if I could again do the “please make up an evil apple variety just for me and me alooooone” promotion when I sign books, and so, given that I’ve got the shiny scary paperback of Black River Orchard coming out in one month…

Well, I’d say it’s back.

This is the paperback:

It is, as the pretty graphic suggests, coming out 6/25.

All you gotta do is preorder a copy of it from my local bookstore, Doylestown Bookshop, by 6/24, and I will go in, sign your book, personalize it if you choose, and write inside of it a very special evil apple variety all for you. Then, I will also include a delightful evil apple sticker from the likes of Natalie Metzger, who is the very coolest. (Have you subscribed to her Patreon yet?)

Then, Doylestown Bookshop will send the book to you. In the mail, not by like, wyvern or cannon or whatever. You can get wyvern cannons out of your head, don’t you bring those parasocial expectations here.

So, again, preorder right here from Doylestown Bookshop.

Then I will sign it with an evil apple variety all your own. If you want it personalized too, please let them know in the notes when you order online, or when you call them, because that’s an option too. The phone. Because I guess people use those sometimes still? *shudder*

Anyway.

They’ll mail you the book.

And the sticker.

And you’ll get an evil heirloom apple variety.

AND you’ll have the cool new paperback edition of Black River Orchard, a book now nominated for both the Stoker Award and the Locus Award and also the Evil Apple Award which is an award I totally didn’t just make up, shut up your face.

DO THIS NOW AND APPEASE THE SINISTER FRUIT CULT

Okay, what else? Let’s talk about WHERE I SHALL BE

Will I be at Vortex Books and Comics — the new Brian Keene and Mary SanGiovanni joint?? — on July 27th, with poety horror fiend Jessica McHugh? I will! At 1pm! Till 4pm! There will be books but also, bring your own if you want. It’s gonna be a hoot.

I will sadly not be at the Stokers, because I’ll be shortly thereafter on my way to Portugal, and it’s in the wrong direction.

Monster Movie releases 9/10, and I expect to be doing some events around then, but don’t have those on the books yet. Pre-order now! And I might be at the Milford Readers & Writers Festival here in PA, too, end of that week — more as I know that, too.

I will be at the Rocky Mountain Writers Colorado Gold conference, which sounds in part like a weed strain, but isn’t, I don’t think. That’s 9/26-9/29, and they’ve entrusted me with a keynote speech, which is always a mistake, but they made it, and I think they’re even paying me for it, the silly people.

Then then thennnnn, I get to hang out with my BFFs Kevin Hearne and Delilah S. Dawson as we tour around — we’ll be hitting Chicago, Milwaukee, Madison, and Minneapolis. I haven’t done a Midwest bit yet, so this’ll be very nice to hang out with folks there. More info as I have it, but do not forget that all three of our novella collections are back online, including the newest, Canines & Cocktails. Plus, they also have print-on-demand options, too — which Death & Honey and Three Slices have not had, as yet.

Finally, Grundy Library, in Bristol, PA, November 16, 1-3pm.

OKAY BYE.