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This is a silly post and nobody should care about it, least of all me, but sometimes things enter my head and knock around like a poltergeist instead of simply passing on through. And the only way to, well, exorcise these thoughts is to purge them somehow.
Thank the gods I have This Old Thing, this —
*lifts up website, squints at the word etched into its underneath*
— this blog.
I have Ghostbusters thoughts.
I mean, really, they’re story thoughts, mostly, but it comes via the conduit of the most recent Ghostbusters flick, and ostensibly, all the Ghostbuster flicks before them.
[note, below contains some mild spoilers, though honestly nothing I didn’t already know going into the movie, but please stay frosty]
[get it, frosty]
[because frozen empire]
[whatever]
I saw the new Ghostbusters movie, which is essentially the old Ghostbusters movie, in that there are Ghostbusters who live in a decrepit NYC firehouse fighting ghosts with hand-held nuclear weapons, and there’s some kind of ancient ghost god, and there’s also animated stone monument, and there’s marshmallow people, and there’s a coming apocalypse, and there’s ghosts getting loose from the ghost containment unit, and there’s a Keymaster guy except it’s fire and not portals, and there’s literally the same dickless guy trying to shut them down, aaaaaand it’s barely even a remix of the first movie and honestly, it’s fine. It’s aggressively fine. Again, your mileage may absolutely vary here but, I had a good time, not a great time, and it left minimal impression upon me, merely sliding off my brain like a fried egg off a non-stick pan. The jokes only half-landed. The action was sometimes thrilling, sometimes enervating. It was fine. It was a movie that happened and that I saw. Pretty much… the end.
(Special note must go toward the fact the best people in the movie are the stand-up comedians: Patton Oswalt, Kumail Nanjiani, James Acaster.)
That said, it did make me Think Some Things about storytelling in this current era, and I thought, what better use for this raggedy old blog than to opine fruitlessly upon those things.
The first thing, and arguably the biggest thing, is that I think nostalgia is a poison. It’s a nice poison! A sweet poison. Like a sugary tiki drink. The sugar isn’t good for you, the alcohol isn’t good for you, and it makes you feel nice for a time while it’s trying (and probably failing unless you drank 20) to kill you. It’s there for the slow death, the long con.
I think nostalgia is not great because generally it relies on some likely incorrect or at least incomplete, hazy veneer, rose-tinted glasses view of things that would simply be better off if we simply shut it in a drawer. You can pull it out of the drawer once in a while to look at it — okay, totally fine! But pack it away. It’s done. Move on. Nostalgia is about memory, about remembering — it should be passive, not active.
Problem is, capitalism has weaponized nostalgia. (Politics has, as well. I mean, MAGA? C’mon.) In terms of storytelling, though, capitalism gladly slithers together with nostalgia, the two coupling wetly, popping out their half-formed story babies. It doesn’t keep the nostalgia in a drawer. It refuses to let a thing simply be what it was, a memory of “better” times — no no, it must be pulled back out, waved around, given a new paint job, and of course, given a price tag. Nostalgia isn’t just nostalgia, now. Nostalgia is a product, a service, a gland you can stroke and milk for that glorious hit of nostalgia juice, all at a premium price. And when I say this, I obviously am making it sound like a Very Bad Thing, but at the same time…
You know, I’m a sucker for it, too. I went to see the Ghostbusters movie. I gave them money, even though it was like, four thousand dollars to see the thing on IMAX and endure 12 (!) minutes of non-movie commercials and 12 (!) more minutes of trailers before a movie actually started. And it’s not even always all bad! Dune and Dune 2 aren’t really relying on nostalgia, per se, but are still both… rehashes of books and movies and miniseries that came before. The new Alien movie, Romulus, looks like it’s going to scare the absolute piss out of me, and I look forward to that. Barbie was great, and I saw it, and yet, it’s based on a toy and exists in part because it’s trying to capitalize on your nostalgia and knowledge about that toy. Am I going to see the new Godzilla Kong movie, even though there has been endless iterations of each and it’s probably not even going to be great? I mean, I guess? Part of me would almost rather not at this point? But… ennh?
(Note: have not seen Godzilla Minus One yet, but totally want to, really bad. Heard it’s great. Nostalgia or not. Shut up.)
This is such a basic-ass plebian cry, I know, but it would be great if we got something new for once. Just entirely new! It can be a remix of stuff, it can be inspired by other things, but a lot of the material we continue to reiterate was actually new once, and how great is that? And here is where someone correctly notes that we are getting new things, smaller movies like Love Lies Bleeding (which is apparently great, and maybe even revolutionary, and I’ll see it soon as I’m able), and yes, absolutely, and we should endeavor to see those movies and tell everyone about them.
But I’m talking like, pop culture geek nerd shit, sci-fi stuff, fantasy stuff, action stuff. (Note, I’m not including horror in here, because damn, horror actually seems to go for it as often as not.) Here someone will surely note that there are movies out on streaming that definitely break this cycle and do new things but… I wish they were stickier, and overall, better?
Like, Marvel managed to speed up the nostalgic human centipede cycle, right? It made us feel nostalgia for shit we just saw. Like, “whoa, a Captain America cameo in this movie, I’m fond of him and missed him for those fifteen minutes when he was not on my screen.” The machine keeps churning and pushing the content so fast that I think it’s why we’re burning out on Marvel and, potentially, superhero shit in general. You don’t even have time to digest the one thing before it’s cramming more into your open maw.
All right, I’m even boring myself with this take. I’d just love to have some new shit is all. TV is a pretty good place to find the new shit, to be fair, so that’s great. As are books! Yay books! We like books! More books for the book god! But I just feel like all the big movies my kid’s gonna grow up with are… really just the same shit I grew up with, aggressively rebranded (but not too much) and aggressively marketed and treated like it’s mythology and folklore rather than just, y’know, capitalism at work, filling up all the empty spaces at the box office with the next Godzilla John Wick Spider-Man Villain Mad Max Spinoff Beetlejuice Ape Kingdom Garfield Crowfield Beverly Hills Quiet Place Despicable Deadpool Star Wars ahhhhhhhHHHHHh.
Ahhhh.
Ahh.
Yeah.
Anyway.
It’s fine, just ignore the Old Man Yelling At Nostalgia. I’m even boring myself at this point.
Okay, what else?
(more spoilers inbound, BIG ONES THIS TIME, fyi)
(no for real)
(spoiler spoiler spoilers)
a) in Ghostbusters why are there weird non-human ghosts, like there are dragons and weird gremlin things and shit, but then there are also very human-looking ghosts, they never take time to explain any of this wtf
b) I wonder if the new movie is set somehow in an alternate timeline where the city pays them to be ghostbusters, because nobody is paying them but they’re not starving to death, and NYC is seriously fucking expensive, and yet they seem able to follow their bliss of *checks notes* destroying half the city to trap mostly harmless ghosts
c) as you grow up you realize that the guy who wants to shut them down is totally right, what the fuck are these unregulated spectral janitors doing, stop fucking around with GHOSTS and cramming them into that BOX, yes obviously this is very bad, a child could tell you this is bad, what the shit, do we hate government that much that we really don’t want someone to regulate the dudes with portable nuclear weapons shooting lasers at wraiths
d) listen did that movie totally just queerbait everyone, like, there was a romance between Phoebe and the pyro ghost girl, right, that they just decided to lean away from instead of into? that was a thing, right?
e) you know how Carrie Fisher used to be quietly renowned for “punching up” scripts that needed it? this flick needed Carrie Fisher rill bad
f) you saw all the big stuff in the preview
g) I liked Afterlife a lot and found it more filmic, whereas this felt more like… TV, if that makes any sense?
i) why am I still talking about ghostbusters?
h) technically h comes before i, oops
j) I could’ve used some frozen empire in my Frozen Empire
k) the Monster Villain is cool looking but literally has no motivation beyond Monster Villain, there’s just nothing there, absolute zero
l) the movie wastes so many of its characters, chief among them Lucky, played by Celeste O’Connor, she’s just… she’s just a tokenized non-entity?
m) the villain’s entire plan relies on Phoebe using a device that isn’t meant for humans that seems like it could hurt her and that nobody knows could work on people so it’s one of those weird villain plans that is essentially impossible without a series of intense coincidences paired with absolutely inane character decisions
n) I may be talking myself into disliking this movie, oh shit
o) quick quick uhhh some things I liked: loved the guy’s hand breaking off and still turning the phonograph handle; loved Zeddemore getting some prime time; loved the sort of Institute-level version of the Ghostbusters; McKenna Grace is really great in it; liked Fire Girl though again why are some ghosts Fire Girl and some are Slimer and some are uhhh a sewer dragon; the Gary-Called-Dad beat was the one emotional beat in the movie that hit me like a fist to my heart; when the movie gets really weird it really works, like the weirder it chooses to be, the better it becomes; actually, Ray’s emotional beats kinda work too, like this is what the dude loves and he’s all in, which makes me think he probably should’ve been a character who sacrifices himself for this job because honestly, that’s how Ray needs to go out; also I’d watch a whole movie about Nadeem’s grandmother
p) oh my god why am I still writing this post
q) oh my god why are you still reading this post
r) am I the only one who needs to recite the entire alphabet to remember what order the letters are in, don’t answer this, I’ll just pretend you all do it and I’m not a weirdo
342) fuck it I’m switching to numbers
343) okay I know it’s based on pre-existing material, but FALL GUY looks like a lot of fun, and there’s nothing wrong with fun, oh and no, this has nothing to do with Ghostbusters, I’m sorry
344) why are the mini-puft marshmallows
345) does trevor even do anything in the movie
346) you guys remember that time Ray got oral sex from a ghost, what the fuck was that shit
347) I’m going to stop now before I go mad, anyway, the movie is fine, nostalgia is weird, stories are hard, a lot of scripts could use a hefty dose of punching up by talented puncher-uppers, and I’m tired now
666) buy my books please or I die, the end
TJ Jaffe says:
…well, I was gonna write some new shit…and then I saw that Chuck had posted something that said “this is a silly post,” which is absolutely my favorite thing in this absurd existence…and then I read it…and all I have to say, Chuck, is IT’S NOT SILLY ENOUGH….*whip cracks*…MORE SILLINESS….*crack*….we need…we thirst…we hunger…so here’s my question, along the lines, I guess, of looking for an opposing position to (Henri) Bergson’s theory of laughter…does true silliness offer coincident newness?
March 27, 2024 — 3:00 PM
Penny Ramirez says:
Dude.
March 27, 2024 — 3:42 PM
tony says:
What you said.
March 27, 2024 — 4:01 PM
M T McGuire says:
I am totally with you on this, except I don’t enjoy the rehashed stuff. I want new stuff from people who’ve watched and loved that old stuff the way I have. This rehashing stuff is stifling creativity when the studios are only interested in making films that are about characters and settings that they know have already made money new and untested ideas will always lose out.
March 27, 2024 — 4:19 PM
M T McGuire says:
Ooo three sentences for the price of one. Uh … yeah… I should have put some more punctuation in there.
March 27, 2024 — 4:36 PM
Hemant Nayak says:
This is a beautiful and especially brilliant take on the weaponization of nostalgia- loved it
March 27, 2024 — 4:22 PM
Monica says:
Weaponized nostalgia – NAILED IT! I loved Afterlife, and I think that was the perfect point to end Ghostbusters on. It was moody, tied things together in a unique way, gave us a perfect teary sendoff to the OG Three. This one had SO much going on and so many people that there was zero development or flow of anything. Also, why have they chosen to write the mom as just annoying and useless??
March 27, 2024 — 5:09 PM
Amanda says:
My son and I are diehard Ghostbusters fans so we absolutely enjoyed it. Is it great storytelling? Maybe not, but it’s still a fun ride and that’s pretty much all I ask for. I am also on board with as many mini Stay Pufts as they want to give me. There’s a Funko Pop of a Mini Puft on a hamster wheel that didn’t actually happen in the movie so now I want to see that deleted scene. Though the one question we continue to ask is why the Pufts are always trying to injure themselves? I don’t get it, but I keep finding it amusing. Anyway, even being someone who loves it, you are absolutely right about the weaponized nostalgia. I suppose it’s not all bad, I say, having just caught up on X-Men 97, but most of it is unnecessary.
March 27, 2024 — 5:38 PM
terribleminds says:
To be clear, and I should’ve said this in the post — obviously enjoying the movie is the best, and no harm no foul to anybody who did! I even did, mostly! So I’m glad it did well with fans of the series(es).
March 28, 2024 — 8:03 AM
Seth G says:
I will confess, I’ve never seen a “modern” Ghostbusters movie, including the funny lady one, which I’m sure wasn’t as bad as the dudebro Chads made it out to be. And the last one (Ghostbusters: The Next Generation) looked like it was probably kinda fun. Per the point of the post, I’m just not that interested in rehashing stuff. There are clearly some great actors in here, and it looks kinda fun, but while I’m browsing millions of options on streaming, I’ll see it and think “I kinda want to watch that… sometime” and skip right on by it. Give me something new and interesting that I want to invest my eyeball time in, Hollywood. Otherwise, meh.
March 27, 2024 — 5:48 PM
Melissa L Ritchard says:
Dear God man! Can I please meet you for a beer to discuss all the things? As a almost 45 year old (yeah I’m a female so I’m gonna grasp on desperately to my younger age)Ohioan, we are very much on the same pages of politics, movies and of course literature. Sigh, when I tell my husband I’m going to my “writing shed” the reality is it’s just a shed of relative nostalgic communist sadness. Cheers sir! Keep speaking your nerd mind!
March 27, 2024 — 6:16 PM
TCinLA says:
I know it may sound surprising, amazing even, but there was a time – and I was there- when Hollywood was all about new, different, never-seen-before. As a screenwriter, I used to go to the movies here ever Friday, to see what was new, what new way of doing something someone had come up with. In fact, if you see the movie “The Player” (it shows up on TCM lots and lots), it is a portrait of a time when studio executives were in competition with each other to come up with New! and Different! and Amazing! (so long as they were delivered in recognizable packages).
And, in 1989, Peter Guber and Jon Peters sold MGM to Matsushita, who once they got burned sufficiently, sold it to Sony. And that began the end of the stand-alone studios run by people who were strange enough that the executives actually liked making movies that were New! and Different! The Intergalactic Corporate Widgetmakers came along, and they did not want to hear about “New! and Different!, and they did not want to know that the Three Rules of Hollywood are Nobody. Knows. Anything. And they Really Did Not Want To Hear that you can get the absolute best material, make it with the absolutely best people, and you don’t know whether it’s a hit or a flop til the Monday after opening weekend. They did not and do not like Crapshoots. They wanted a 10% ROI and if they couldn’t get it here they would go somewhere else and make different widgets.
And so Hollywood turned from New! and Diferent! to buying things every kid knew about and adapting that “Intellectual Property” to make a movie. If if one of them worked, then 17 more just like it were ordered. And if you were some oddbal fucking COMMUNIST who didn’t like the joys of global capitalism, well Fuck You Buddy! And the horse you stole to ride in on!
And that is why 30 years ago I went to the movies every Friday, and today I might see a movie in a theater once or twice in a year. (But you should definitely go see Dune II on the biggest screen you can find because Denis Villenueve is a fucking GENIUS. See it more than once. Riding those worms is Amazing!)
March 27, 2024 — 9:48 PM
GR Harvey says:
Thank you for this, Chuck. I am with you on the whole reboot, rehash Hollywood movie nonsense. I loved the first Ghostbusters, but haven’t seen any of the new iterations, because why go for a cheap imitation of the original? And at what point do they run out of ideas to rehash? I mean, yeah, it was always about making money, but at least there used to be some idea that Hollywood movies were about telling interesting stories, now it’s all about not-ever-taking-a-risk-on-anything-new and instead going with tried-and-true schlock over and over and over again. Then they wonder why people stop going to see that tried-and-true thing. Could it be that seeing some pale imitation of a movie we once saw and loved is not enough? That people actually want good plots, good writing, good characters and gasp, maybe something innovative? I mean, all those Disney cartoons remade with live action characters — why, dear god, why? It’s not like there’s a lack of creative people out there. There are so many wonderful books that could be turned into new, fresh wonderful films. Instead, they come up with horrific ideas such as, “let’s remake Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings trilogy since it was so popular and made so much money.” Please, movie producers wherever you are out there, I beg you, spare us.
March 27, 2024 — 10:36 PM
TCinLA says:
You’ll be happy to know that the fact these things are “under-performing” now has got even the bloody morons stupid enough to qualify for hiring as studio executives out here thinking that perhaps going back to finding New! and Different! might be a worthwhile idea.
March 28, 2024 — 11:56 AM
Christine Chrisman says:
This is our world “aggressively marketed and treated like it’s mythology and folklore rather than just, y’know, capitalism at work, filling up all the empty spaces at the box office” yep yep.that sums it up
March 28, 2024 — 12:37 AM
Matthew Mercier says:
This is such a great take, and you’re not wrong to expand energy on this…poison. I’m a sucker too, but after I see the new, say, Indiana Jones movies I feel…old and sad. No more nostalgia for this guy. No sir. Except Godzilla Minus One. You MUST see it. I would argue it’s NOT nostalgia. Godzilla is a genuine mythological beast at this point–albeit a pop culture beast–but it makes the giant Lizard terrifying again. An emotional movie. It’s upsetting when buildings and people get stomped.
March 28, 2024 — 1:16 PM
Michelle says:
Ok, I’m glad I’m not the only one who felt queerbaited (which I didn’t know was a word before today). The almost sort of lesbian thingy if you wanted to see it that way… that almost caused the end of the world. Was this accepting? Was this homophobic? Did I project and hallucinate the whole thing because I previously related too much to Phoebe? What’s even real? I’m scared and confused and sad.
And is it just me or did Pheobe get really stupid in this one? I know she’s 15 and alienated and lonely and all that does stupid shit to you. But if anyone knows 1) ghosts usually have some unsavory agenda and 2) the untested machine will literally kill you for two minutes or maybe forever, which WHO THE CRAP MADE A 2-MINUTE GHOST CREATING MACHINE?! WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO ACHIEVE FOR SCIENCE?!… it should be her.
March 28, 2024 — 2:12 PM
WizarDru says:
Godzilla: Minus One makes the recent (entirely enjoyable but nothing more than that) US Godzilla and Kong movies seem weaker by comparison. It is, I would argue, the best Godzilla movie, even beating out the original by a small margin. YES, I SAID IT. I enjoyed Shin Godzilla’s satirical and political take (being a direct comment on the Japanese government’s mishandling of the Tsunami and Fukushima responses), but Minus One is an Oscar-worthy movie. Not just a good Godzilla movie, but a goddamned fine piece of emotional cinema with real stakes and engaging characters. Their emotional journey and heroism is a deeper, richer thing than that of some action heroes running against a green screen.
March 29, 2024 — 9:05 AM