The Orchard Has Released Me, But My Mouth Still Tastes Of Apples

I am home from the first leg of the Black River Orchard tour — the Northeastern leg, to be clear — and hot damn, it was a delight to meet so many of you. Thanks, all, for coming out, and to the bookstores — Doylestown Bookshop! PRINT! Porter Square! Books on the Square! Gibson’s! Northshire! Oblong! The End! — who hosted me and this weird little (not so little) apple-flavored horror book. Extra thanks to my conversation partners like Liberty Hardy, Aaron Mahnke, Clay McLeod Chapman, Owen King, and Delilah S. Dawson. And finally, shout-out to the orchards who provided apples for the events: North Star Orchard, Sweetster’s Apple Barrel, Orchard Ridge Farm, Shelburne, Steere, Gould Hill Farm, Sunset Orchard, and of course, Rose Hill Farm and Cidery.

It was honestly fucking awesome and you can find ongoing photos from the trip at my Instagram — including new heirloom apple reviews (gasp), which I’ll keep posting because as it turns out, I’ve got a shitload of new weird amazing apples to review. I ate an apple called “Nail Biter,” for fuck’s sake. I ate one with bloody-looking flesh. I ate an apple that tasted like Campari. It was a good time and I’ll be continuing those updates.

Also, a reminder that I’m going back out on tour next week — this time, to Denver, CO; Helena, MT; Portland, OR; and Seattle, WA. (Details on Appearances page.)

If you picked up the book, the best thing you can do is read it, yell about it, shake it at your friends foes and family members, and best of all, review it at one of the appropriate review receptacles like Amazon, Goodreads, TikTok, wherever your heart guides you.

If you’re still not sure, I think Alex Brown’s review might convince you.

And you can listen to me on the always wonderful Talking Scared.

Also, I saw a staircase in the woods!

Finally, CHANT THE CRABAPPLES CHANT, YOU FOOLS

OK BYE