Announcing: The Evil Apples Tour! Black River Orchard And Me Coming To Your Bookstore! Maybe!

Hey! I’m going on tour with my new book, Black River Orchard. Come, I’ll talk, I’ll A your Qs, I’ll ruin your books with my authorgraph, and oh, yeah, we’ll eat interesting apples. For some of the New England dates, we’re pairing with local orchards (listed where I know them, more details to come) so we can chow down on weird, maybe even evil, apples. And on the dates where we’re not pairing with an orchard — I may still have some strange and sinister apples to bring. (The Western dates, I’d like to have apples, but no promises.)

The tour dates are below — note that a fancy graphic will be coming soon, shareable across all social media. And note too that some of these may yet change — I think most of them are pretty set in stone, but the date for the Denver might be a day later (the 14th, just need confirmation), and I don’t have a time for that or the Montana event quite yet. But, given that this tour starts in less than a month, I wanted to at least get it on your calendars.

The places, the dates —

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Monday, September 25th, 6:00PM

Doylestown, PA

Doylestown Bookshop

Pre-launch event details here! Preorder from the store.

(Featuring apples from North Star Orchard)

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Tuesday, September 26th, 7:00PM

Portland, ME

PRINT Bookstore

Launch event details here! Preorder from the store.

(Featuring apples from a local orchard.)

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Wednesday, September 27th, 7:00PM

Boston, MA

Porter Square Books, Cambridge location

* in conversation with Aaron Mahnke, of LORE

Event details here! Preorder from the store.

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Thursday, September 28th, 6:00PM

Providence, RI

Books on the Square

Event details here! Preorder from the store.

(Featuring apples from a local orchard.)

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Friday, September 29th, 7:00PM

Concord, NH

Gibson’s Bookstore

* Dual launch event with Clay McLeod Chapman for WHAT KIND OF MOTHER, which is excellent

Event details here! Preorder from the store.

(Featuring apples from a local orchard.)

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Sunday, October 1st, 4:00PM

Saratoga Springs, NY

Northshire Bookstore, Saratoga Springs location

Event details to come! Preorder from the store.

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Monday, October 2nd, 6:30PM

Rhinebeck / Red Hook, NY

Rose Hill Farm & Orchard / Oblong Books

* In conversation with Owen King

Get your ticket here! Preorder from the store.

(With apples from Rose Hill Farm, where the event is located.)

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Tuesday, October 3rd, 6:30PM

Lehigh Valley, PA

The End Bookstore

* in conversation with Delilah S. Dawson

Event details here! Preorder from the store.

(Featuring apples from North Star Orchard)

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Friday, October 13th, 6:00 PM

Denver, CO

Tattered Cover Bookstore

More details to come! Preorder from the store.

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Sunday, October 15th, 4:00 PM

Helena, MT

Montana Book Company

More details to come! Preorder from the store.

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Monday, October 16th, 7:00PM

Portland, OR

Powells Bookstore, Cedar Crossing location

Event details here! Preorder from the store.

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Wednesday, October 18th, 7:00PM

Seattle, WA

Elliott Bay Books

* In conversation with Sadie Hartmann

Event details here! Preorder from the store.

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Why should I come to these?

Well, because books and apples and horror and hilarity. Plus, you can ask me weird questions and I will answer them and it’ll be a real goddamn hoot.

The also-answer, a frankly-speaking 30,000-foot-view answer, is that these days, publishers are not as convinced that bookstore appearances by authors are necessarily valuable — I, obviously, argue that they are! Good for readers, good for stores. Ideally, good for the author too. But that means, whenever possible, you gotta show up to give the stores the evidence to take back to the publishers. Events like these help the stores, help me, help the overall bookish ecosystem. It sends a message up the chain. It ripples! So, hopefully you can make one of these and come say hi and eat an apple. It’ll be great.

Doubly good: bring a friend! A family member! Some affable rando! Tell others! Scream it so the cheap seats can hear.

Will you sign my other books that I bring?

Sure, though please note, you still gotta buy something from the bookstore you’re visiting. That’s just good bookstore manners.

Will you sign babies and/or body parts?

I mean, I have in the past.

Do I need to do anything in advance?

You only need to apply the proper unguents and creams in order to prepare your flesh for the transformation. Ha ha I mean, no, though please note some of the stores may want you to register in advance or buy tickets (like with the Rose Hill event in NY). But also, the unguents and creams. For real.

Why aren’t you coming to [insert my local bookstore here]?

It’s for a lot of reasons! First, maybe I’ve been there recently. Second, maybe they don’t want me, or more to the point, can’t accommodate me and this book on their schedule. Third, I can only go so many places, and so I’m doing less a nationwide be-everywhere thing and more a targeted clustered approach centered in part around where there are apples and cool bookstore access. Hopefully I’ll make it to your neck of the woods at some point going forward, tho.

Is there Black River Orchard merch I can wear to these events??

WHY YES, VERY REAL PERSON ASKING THIS VERY REAL QUESTION.

There sure is.

There’s a tour shirt —

And also one without the tour deets, just advertising the good ol’ Ruby Slipper apple from Paxson Family Orchards, nothing to see here, nothing evil, everything’s fine, just take a bite and get the shirt:

Plus there’s some other cool WENDIG merch, designed by the ineffable, ever-delightful Jordan Shiveley. You can find all that merch right here.

Bonus: if you wear the Ruby Slipper shirt (or any Wendig merch shirt) to any of the above events, I will give you something secret and special. A sinister token! A terrifying trinket! A small but potent icon of your FAITH AND OBEISANCE TO THE APPLE GODS uhh I mean, you know, a li’l gift.

So, that’s that.

Again, some of the deets may change, and I have a couple more tidbits of info to add yet. Pretty tour graphic to come. Hope to see you soon.