Right out of the gate let’s ask — are these kinds of updates interesting to you? Meaning, just the general here’s some stuff I’m doing, here’s some things I’m enjoying, hey look, birds, bugs, and dogs. If they are, I’ll do more. If they’re not, I’ll do less, and also I’ll collect my many tears in little phials and sell them to various wizards, sorcerers, and magical ne’er-do-wells as a vital reagent for their mystical crimes.
Anyway, let the updates begin.
Dust & Grim, Delayed
I’ll have more info shortly about tour dates, but Dust & Grim is delayed two weeks due to *star shooting across sky leaving a rainbow behind* SUPPLY CHAIN ISSUES. What does this mean? Well! This means it will be coming out on October 19th, so please check your pre-orders and such accordingly. Pre-orders are especially useful right now to help guarantee you get a printed copy if you want one. You can nab signed/personalized copies from either Doylestown Bookshop or Let’s Play Books. You’ll know more when I know more!
Our Dog’s Butt Is Haunted
Our Frankencorgi Shepherd, Snoobug, has a haunted butt.
It has been haunted for a while by some kind of sinister butt ghost(s), and it has required occasional medical intervention on behalf of this haunted butt (scientific term: “infected anal glands,” I’m sorry, I know that’s not a term anyone wants to hear or think about, I hope you didn’t just eat breakfast), usually in the form of antibiotics. Which is where we are at, again. One problem: the antibiotics make her go fucking batshit for a little while — last time was only for a day or two. Day two of the course this time, oh my god, she became an entirely different dog. She’d fart, and then jump up like a ghost bit her ass, and then she’d instantly become Velcro Dog. She’s always sweet, to be clear, but she’s usually content to come in for a petting or two, then bail. And further, she’s always a little wonky, and there are places in our house she just won’t go — she’s never been in the downstairs bathroom, never in the laundry room, never ever jumped up on the couch.
Yesterday, she did all three. Without thinking, without reserve. We found her in the laundry room at one point. She followed my wife into the bathroom while she showered. I was on the couch, playing Deathloop (which is a lot of fun, if you care), and suddenly, BUTT GHOST, and she was crawling up into my lap. And she has never, ever done that in seven years.
This morning she seems a little calmer, so here’s hoping the meds are successfully exorcising the Anus Wraiths (who I saw open for Ministry in 93, by the way). Because failing that, the vet is recommending a very expensive operation, whiiiiiiich is not great. She already had to have some kind of “cold laser” procedure on her butt. The vet probably just made that up, didn’t they? Whatever. Point is, buy my books, because hahaha ow. Buy a book, help a dog. How nice.
I Make Pizza Now, I Am Pizza Chuck, Itsa Me, Chucky-o
Okay, I’m not really good at making pizza yet. But I’m getting better. I have an Ooni pizza oven, and I say this not as any kind of paid endorsement, but it’s fucking legit. It is as promised — you pop that thing on and fifteen minutes later, it’s 900 degrees. Like Walter White, it’s ready to cook. Pizza goes in on peel, ~2 minutes later, done pizza.
My preference is that Neapolitan-style crust, thin and chewy — my recent effort was the Babish recipe, and I usually like his recipes, but I either did something wrong or, ennh, I dunno. Gonna go with Kenji next, as his recipes are usually very reliable — his scrambled eggs situation was sublime. (Cornstarch, salt, and butter. Perfect scrambled eggs every time. Also, sans butter, works with omelettes, makes them amazing.)
It’s Heirloom Apple Season, Motherfucker
And I will be getting heirloom apples this year however I jolly well can. And instead of reviewing them on Twitter, which is a Hell Realm, I’ll talk about them here, because this place needs some appley goodness.
It’s Also Fall Migration, Motherfucker
It’s that time when all the Cool Birds leave their soon-to-be-wintry climes and fuck off south, which means it becomes Warblertown up around here (WHO RULE WARBLER TOWN, WARBLER ADORBLER RULE WARBLERTOWN), and of course it’s fall warblers, so they all look the same, the little bastards. But they’re great. Birds don’t give a shit about our stupid problems and they’re cool and we should try to make the world a better place, if for nothing else than birds and apples.
Remember, too, fall migration is time to turn out your lights at night.
Save the birds, save the world.
Hey, Get Vaccinated, You Jabronis
I don’t mean to get all “””political””” on this here Bird-and-Apple Blog, but PA just released their numbers, and 94% of their COVID cases are unvaccinated people. Now, I understand those numbers don’t likely include breakthrough infections that are mild or asymptomatic, because we do not test robustly, and people who only have mild symptoms may get no tests at all (especially during allergy season), but just the same, that still underscores the fact that those getting tested likely have serious enough illness to warrant the tests. What this means of course is that
WOW, WHOA, VACCINES WORK
WHO KNEW
IT’S NOT LIKE VACCINES ARE THE ABSOLUTE BACKBONE OF OUR CIVILIZATION OR ANYTHING OH WAIT, THEY TOTALLY ARE??
HEY, DID YOU GET POLIO LAST YEAR
HOW ABOUT SMALLPOX
NO?
WEIRD I WONDER WHY
I WONDER IF IT’S THESE *checks notes* AWESOME VACCINES WE HAVE
JESUS CHRIST GET VACCINATED
Ahem. I’m sure most of you very awesome people are already vaxxed! But if you’re not, hey, fix that immediately. It is likely to save your life. And here you might be saying, “Buh, buh, but why do care if I exercise my HEALTH FREEDOMS not to stick myself with the BILL GATES DEMON JUICE,” and here I’ll note it’s because if you get sick from COVID and end up in the hospital, you’re taking a bed that could go to someone whose disease is not their own fault. And if you’re not vaccinated, guess what? That’s your own damn fault. So let’s not choke the hospital system and bring it to its knees. Let’s free up beds for cancer patients and sick kids, not Johnny Covidtown who should’ve fucking known better and just gotten the FREE and HARMLESS vaccine that would’ve saved his life instead of ending it pain-throttled and alone on a ventilator shoved down his throat. Cool? Cool.
Pennsylvania: Tornado Alley!
Over the last couple months we’ve had two incidents of tornadoes ripping through our area — the first time, we had one tornado hit a half-mile north of us, and a second one hit a half-mile south. This past time, about three-four miles south of us, and in fact, it tore its way through my sister’s backyard, knocking down a line of trees. What a mess. Seven tornadoes on the first go, nine this time. BUT HA HA CLIMATE CHANGE ISN’T A THING, right? You know Pennsylvania, it’s known for its tornadoes. Probably. Maybe. Shut up.
Most Ted Lasso Hot Takes Are Bad, Actually
If not bad, then just plain silly. This is not an exhortation for you to like the show or for you to find it without problem, I just thought it odd that at the start of this second season, we were deluged with a barrage (or barraged with a deluge) of Bad Ted Lasso takes, ranging from the Wow This Season Isn’t Going Anywhere to The Show Is Bad And You Should Feel Bad For Liking It, all of which are wrong and bad and shhhh. Just stop. Let people like things. And also let a show do its thing before you judge it. Now that we’re deeper into the season, it’s really going some important places, and I want to go along on that ride. You don’t have to, but I think it’s pretty great. I want to let it have its say before I judge it. Also, Roy Kent forever, please and thank you. And Sam! And Rebecca! Yes. Anyway. Moving on. It’s also still okay if you don’t like it. Just don’t tell me about it.
Some Things Wot I Enjoyed Recently
The Murderbot Books, getting caught up on them — Martha Wells
McCammon’s Matthew Corbett books
Evil, on Paramount-Plus
Kid Cosmic, Netflix
Just finishing up Delilah Dawson’s The Violence, and whooooa dang
Premee Mohamed’s Annual Migration of Clouds
Cassandra Khaw’s The All-Consuming World
Infinity Train, HBO Max
Birds and Bugs, As Promised
Here are some birds and bugs I’ve seen recently (with more at Flickr):
Buy My Books Or I Die
The Book of Accidents is available, and primed for your SPOOKY SEASON needs. It’s creepy and it’s kooky, it’s altogether spooky. Coal mines, haunted houses, serial killers, maybe a demon, some interstitial realms. It’s a blast. Go get. Or I die writhing in the abyss. And leave a review, somewhere, pretty please? With a pick-axe on top?
Nita Sweeney, Author says:
I love these random “life of an author” posts. Please continue. And good luck with the pupper. We had a dog that had to have the very expensive anal gland infected butt ghost surgery. It did fix the butt ghost, but she lost a tiny bit of her sphincter muscle in the procedure so now we had very real, not ghosts at all, aromatic tiny bits of poop once a month. It was worth it to know she was no longer in misery. She lived ten more years after the operation.
September 16, 2021 — 1:18 PM
FM D'A says:
I love your blog and comments, no matter what you’re burbling about. I just finished “The Book of Accidents,” which not only could I not put down, I didn’t even want to return it to the library. I kept dipping back into the book, re-reading parts. But I knew there was a waiting list for it, so I courageously let it go. Finally. So that others can be creeped out deliciously.
Hooray for heirloom apples, hooray for you and your books, and sorry about the butt ghosts. Poor Snoobug!
September 16, 2021 — 1:20 PM
terribleminds says:
<3
September 16, 2021 — 2:40 PM
Shannon Mooney says:
I do like these updates! My time (and frankly, my desire) for keeping up on social media isn’t what it used to be…so when your email shows up in my inbox I happily ingest it, bones and all.
September 16, 2021 — 1:22 PM
Amarand says:
Obviously can’t speak for everyone else, but I’m here for: heirloom apples (learning about, coveting, stalking), your incredible and inspirational macro photography, and, of course, items about your own books. The featured author/writing tips are fun, because it expands from Wengido World to other writers’ takes on things. It’s all very good! Mélange? Is that a good word? The pumpkin spice must flow!
September 16, 2021 — 1:23 PM
terribleminds says:
We have apple sign the likes of which even God has never seen.
September 16, 2021 — 2:40 PM
SK Wiggins says:
I really enjoy your updates, please continue but I’m happy to have it be on whatever schedule works for you.
And TED LASSO is the greatest show! We love it!
September 16, 2021 — 1:28 PM
Clovis Fearing says:
Hi, Chuck. We must both be psycho… uh, PSYCHIC. Checked my email this morning and mused, “Haven’t heard from Chuck in a while. I hope he’s okay, and didn’t get eaten by an orc while apple-hunting or something”.
Then, lo and behold! An email within 30 minutes, announcing a new Terrible Minds installment.
Yes, please keep these up. With birb photos. And bugs. I like bugs too. The stranger the better. (I didn’t win blue ribbons in 4-H Entomology for nothing, you know…) And it doesn’t matter that I pretty much feel like your last photo these days. Oh, well.
Yes, please continue.
September 16, 2021 — 1:32 PM
terribleminds says:
I AM IN YOUR MIND
September 16, 2021 — 2:39 PM
Clovis Fearing says:
YES, YOU ARE! And I’m damn glad of it. Watch out for the spiders though. On second thought, take a few pictures of them. They need to earn their keep. They’ve been living there 65 years now…
September 16, 2021 — 3:25 PM
SusanE says:
Yes, please, more posts = better! Sometimes (almost all the time) I want to read some goodness (interesting, well-written) without venturing onto Facebook or Twitter or some place (almost all of them) with awful algorithms and lots of downer-ness. Bring it on!
September 16, 2021 — 1:38 PM
Staci Fritz says:
Because you asked: Yes please, keep on keeping on with the rambling thoughts on apples, birds, butt ghosts, book things, vaccinations, bugs, tornadoes, other authors, pizza, etc. etc. Your emails seriously make my day, every single damn time.
September 16, 2021 — 1:43 PM
terribleminds says:
Thank you! I’m leaning more and more toward treating this blog as a newsletter — leaving it as-is, posts all public, but realizing most of the visitors here are getting their posts via email.
September 16, 2021 — 2:39 PM
Jeanne Felfe says:
Yes, please keep the stories coming. They are entertaining, and we certainly don’t need ne’er-do-wells improving their skills with your tears.
September 16, 2021 — 1:45 PM
Jo Chern says:
Absolutely want to keep seeing these posts even if I envy your apples. That is not a euphemism. On the butt front (front butt? No, that’s a very different thing), I had a cat who got plugged anal sacs. Cats aren’t even supposed to be prone to that. Periodically had to have the glands “expressed” which cut down on infections but, wowzer, the smell (not to mention cat yeows) when it was being done! Hope you pups’s butt gets effectively exorcised.
September 16, 2021 — 1:45 PM
Sean P Carlin says:
Any TV series with an adult male protagonist who is neither a violent crimefighter nor an oafish manboy deserves a little grace just for that. Most of Ted Lasso‘s hot-take critics are like the classmates who used to judge Ted in high school: Rather than being curious, they’re reflexively judgmental. Let them stew in their own cynicism if that’s what makes ’em happy; I’d much rather go the Ted Lasso way.
September 16, 2021 — 1:48 PM
T.R. says:
I like the mix of stories. Bummer about Dust & Grim, but everything seems to be delayed these days. Agree with you about the pizza oven. We no longer go out for pizza since we bought one. Two tips, watch how runny the sauce is because it changes the whole makeup of the pizza and try to buy dry/low moisture mozzarella. Those two things have made the biggest difference for us–other than playing with different types of flour.
September 16, 2021 — 1:54 PM
terribleminds says:
Got a good sauce recipe?
September 16, 2021 — 2:38 PM
T.R. says:
Start with whole, peeled San Marzano tomatoes. Drain them because otherwise the sauce will be too runny. Chop them up. To the chopped/blitzed tomatoes, add a single splash of olive oil, along with minced garlic and red chili flakes to your taste. (We tend to go light on the garlic a clove or two, but it really is your personal preference since it won’t change the ‘consistency’ of the sauce.) We add a tablespoon of red chili flakes. (You can always add more after the pizza cooks.) Stir in a tablespoon of Basil and that’s pretty much it. The key is cooking the sauce down until it thickens. Hope you like it. 🙂
September 17, 2021 — 3:25 PM
John says:
The best apple I have found is the Honey Crisp.
September 16, 2021 — 1:55 PM
terribleminds says:
If I may, I’ll note that there are many apples that, in my mind, exceed the Honeycrisp in flavor.
September 16, 2021 — 2:37 PM
Lita says:
Your beloved dog item had me laughing/crying, Chuck. I don’t remember the last time anything had that effect – certainly a long time pre-covid. It released something. A knot of grief, perhaps. Thank you.
I have The Wanderers on audio, and listen to it as I potter about in the garden – the perfect environment for such an awesome – and prescient – tale.
Please give your lovely dog a hug – or whatever she will allow – from me and mine.
September 16, 2021 — 2:08 PM
terribleminds says:
If her butt ghosts will allow, I will hug the pup. 🙂
September 16, 2021 — 2:36 PM
thatscertainlyriddikulus says:
You know, you can’t mention your dog in a post and not pay a dog tax (i.e. pictures please)
September 16, 2021 — 2:18 PM
terribleminds says:
DOH. Apologies. Check Instagram! @chuck_wendig — dog photos present!
September 16, 2021 — 2:36 PM
Kay Camden says:
I like these and would like them to continue. I don’t comment often but I am here reading, in my email mostly, but I usually try to remember to click through to give you a hit.
September 16, 2021 — 2:25 PM
Marsha Seas says:
I love your updates, Chuck! I’ll listen whenever you have something to say. I hope Snoobug feels better soon!! <3
September 16, 2021 — 2:34 PM
Jon says:
I really enjoy your random updates, Chuck, especially the macro photography. Can we expect some pin-up-girl shots of your pizza endeavors in the future?
September 16, 2021 — 2:45 PM
Erin says:
I usually read the emails and don’t comment (sorry if that’s bad!) but I really enjoy these and hope you keep doing them.
September 16, 2021 — 3:25 PM
Terry Hickman says:
I don’t comment often (at ALL) but I do enjoy your posts, whatever’s in them. Hope your doggy feels better SOON!
September 16, 2021 — 3:33 PM
Theresa Willett says:
I love Anal Wraith pizzaiolo apple bird bug posts! For the dough, I really enjoyed the King Arthur artisan doughs recently, though used pastry flour in lieu of tipo 00. Here is their plain flour version: https://www.kingarthurbaking.com/blog/2015/01/05/best-pizza-youll-ever-make
Am soooo tempted to get one of those ovens, but feel guilty bring more hot to Cali. We make due w convection over, baking still and finish if needed in air fryer, which is also excellent for reheating.
Can’t wait for the apple parade!!
September 16, 2021 — 3:42 PM
Rebecca Hodge says:
YES — keep the birds / bugs / apples coming! A nice break from what normally fills my Inbox.
September 16, 2021 — 4:23 PM
Greg Miranda says:
Love the updates, keep them coming.
Cure those Butt Ghosts, before you end up with the Carpet of Accidents.
September 16, 2021 — 4:39 PM
Nathalie Samson says:
Please keep the stream of consciousness coming, they are a balm for my wretched soul. I FINALLY received my copy of the Book Of Accidents and hoping to curl up by the fire this weekend when the rains finally douse the coast!
September 16, 2021 — 4:53 PM
Emily T Huntington says:
Yes! Definitely keep up the commentary on apples, dogs, bugs, birbs, and the general craziness of the world. Much needed brain candy. Loved the Wanderers, The Book of Accidents, and, Zeroes! Gonna find more.
September 16, 2021 — 5:13 PM
Mark Crislip says:
Having the ooni for a year, one perhaps helpful hint. Use Bobs Redmill Paleo flour on the peel. The pizza never sticks as it is ground nuts and doesnt absorb water like flour. And the Elements of Pizza https://kensartisan.com/elements-of-pizza from the best pizza maker in Portland. If you want a book that obsesses at length over every aspect of pizza. A must. Enjoy.
September 16, 2021 — 7:34 PM
terribleminds says:
Oooh, I’m all for mixing it up, but does a paleo nut-based flour really give you the right crust?
September 17, 2021 — 8:15 AM
Mark Crislip says:
not for the crust. thats flour but the crust always sticks to the peel. I dont know if you have had the joy of sliding the pizza in and it sticks to the metal and folds up on itself to leave a burning pile of pizza in the the oven. The paleo flour is better than cornmeal to prevent sticking. My wife uses it as well to prevent her bagels from sticking to the pan.
September 17, 2021 — 12:31 PM
Deborah Makarios says:
Ever made your apples into cider? Walter the Saint’s recipe is the way to go, in my opinion – no fancy equipment required.
September 16, 2021 — 7:54 PM
terribleminds says:
I’ve not! I’m too busy eating them, I fear.
September 17, 2021 — 8:15 AM
Deborah Makarios says:
Alas, you can’t drink your apple and eat it too.
September 17, 2021 — 8:28 PM
Kern Windwraith says:
If you were to stop with these posts, I would have to add my tears to those phials. I may not comment often, but I do enjoy hearing all about the doings in Wendigland, even when the doings include doggie butt ghosts and anal glands.
That second photograph, the one of the caterpillar, looks so much like a tasty morsel of sushi. I don’t want to eat it though. Even a little bit.
September 16, 2021 — 9:28 PM
terribleminds says:
I thought it looked like a gummi worm!
September 17, 2021 — 8:15 AM
usrfriendlygeek says:
Pleasepleaseplease keep doing blog posts. I’m not reading you on Twitter anymore (it’s not you, really, it’s me, I don’t read much of anyone on Twitter anymore), so I am happy to get notified that you have provided an update to your weird, tornado-y, infected anal glands-y life.
September 16, 2021 — 9:43 PM
Natasja says:
Please yes more updates like this thank you! Also, glad to hear that the Apple content is returning! Not a true fall without some Wendig Apple Opinions™.
September 17, 2021 — 6:54 AM
Anton says:
I like these posts, because I am old and miss the era of blogs. It’s just nice. I always feel like I come away knowing something new, even if it is just that your dog’s butt is haunted or the name of a new apple. Also I am but a mediocre pizza maker using my regular oven but I will share the one tip I have for a great pizza slice – after you pull your pizza out and just before you cut/serve it, sprinkle a little lemon zest over the top. It adds this tiny bite of brightness to go with the hot richness of cheese/toppings, like magic!
September 17, 2021 — 10:47 AM
M.A. Kropp says:
Please do continue with the random update posts. I like reading about how things are going in the Wendigworld. And hearing about the apples you find, and the buggy and birdy pictures. Don’t stop!
September 17, 2021 — 6:32 PM
Dakota Harrison says:
I love these kinds of posts, you always make me laugh, and laughter is something we all need a little more of right now. Please don’t stop. 🙂 I prefer these to the other plug-an-author ones (and yes, I know paying it forward is awesome etc and helping another author is also great, but I prefer these). I love the Butt Ghost, it’s hilarious.
September 17, 2021 — 9:37 PM
MM Jones says:
Oh, yes Chuck! I enjoy these random posts. Always contain something new to me.
Thanks
September 17, 2021 — 10:24 PM
angeliquejamail says:
Please do continue. Your update round-ups are so great because of your sparkling sense of humor doing them. 🙂 Also, on some level, I think many readers will recognize that being an author is your profession, and in every profession certain nuts and bolts need to be taken care of. Updates which include a bunch of miscellany — including a little bit of marketing — are necessary to your profession. Keep them coming! I have yet, in all the years I’ve been reading your blog, to see you go overboard with that, or even approach the Recommend Marketing Allowance advised by industry pundits on the Marketing to Personality Ratio One Must Aspire To. Seriously your posts are great, and people who don’t like them don’t have to read them. 🙂 I especially love your exhortation to GET THE FUCKING VACCINE ALREADY OMG WHAT’S WRONG WITH PEOPLE THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS. But then I’m in Texas. BTW DFWCon is going all virtual this year (next month). So relieved I am! 😉
September 18, 2021 — 9:59 AM
FeatheredFriend says:
Hi Chuck, I very rarely comment (or on social media – where I follow as well), but I’d like to chime in. I prefer the long form blog. There so much more nuance in the format, and I don’t end up getting sucked into the gaping sharp-toothed demonic ass-chasm that social media has devolved into.
Also! I lent out a copy of Book of Accidents to a pal, and he devoured it in two days. He then texted to both rave over your writing, and to inquire about your backlist. Another soul converted!
September 18, 2021 — 10:18 AM
janinmi says:
I find that the joy I derive in reading about your goings-on is more in how you describe it all. That said, there’s also a fair amount of fun to be had in the range of interests you have. Doggie butts are nothing new to me; my late Lhasa Apso, Mogwai, had stinky anal glands which, thankfully, never got infected but had to be expressed every now and then. Yech. I still miss that little guy.
So, yeah, do keep posting all the Wendigness. Or we will all be very sad. And you will not sell any books. And then *you* will be very sad. Heh heh. (JKLOL)
September 18, 2021 — 10:20 AM
Penquillity says:
Please keep the random word wanderings going, Chuck. They help keep me tethered to sanity, which doesn’t say much, I know, but there you have it. I’m debating between pre-ordering the Kindle version of Dust & Grim or the hardcover. I’ll figure it out before the end of today.
I have a Pippin apple tree in the back yard. That girl is one prolific producer. The apples are slightly tart, good for baking and making apple sauce. My friend’s goats love them, too.
September 18, 2021 — 12:26 PM
Spofforth says:
Yes to the updates!
Funny you should mention Robert McCammon. I was just looking for a first edition of Swan Song on ebay. I haven’t read his Matthew Corbett books yet. I have read Swan Song, The Listener, and Boy’s Life. All bloody good!
We watched the most recent episode of Ted Lasso on Saturday night. Didn’t enjoy it. It was all about Beard. Not even joking… All the other episodes are great! Roy Kent cracks me up!
September 19, 2021 — 7:32 PM
Spofforth says:
If you zoom in on that caterpillar pic, it looks like it has apples on its back! 🙂
September 19, 2021 — 7:42 PM
Susan Ridenour says:
Are you kidding? I love this place — it’s everything.
September 20, 2021 — 12:41 PM
Chad Bunch says:
Yes, they are indeed interesting. And entertaining. Please keep them coming…
September 24, 2021 — 5:59 AM
HalfshellVenus says:
I always enjoy your posts about life, writing, apples, “Die, Demon Cabbage, Die!”, and any other random stuff you feel like talking about. The biting wit makes EVERYTHING worthwhile, not to mention the emotional truth and resonance (if the topic warrants it).
I’m sorry Snoo
buttbug has butt ghosts, and I hope she’s feeling better!I must admit to being surprised that you, as a discerning individual, do not have any cats. What’s up with that? How do you survive without purrrrbles in your life?
September 28, 2021 — 7:34 PM