Macro Monday Knows How To Multiply Six By Nine

HELLO, I AM NOW 42 YEARS OLD NOW, PLEASE HAVE A PHOTO OF A BLOODROOT FLOWER. And yes, that’s really what it is. It’s goddamn motherfucking bloodroot, son. The root is literally red, and can be used as a dye — or a poison! So, that coffee you’re drinking tastes a little funny, doesn’t it? Ha ha I’m kidding I didn’t poison you.

*stares*

*waits*

Ahem. Anyway, bloodroot may be one of the coolest plant names ever, though it has competitors like SPIDERWORT, which if you combine with bloodroot, you get my new D&D character: BLOODROOT SPIDERWORT, Esquire.

I really need to play D&D again.

None of this is apropos of anything, except that spring has sprung and with it, the random first flowers of the season — we have swamp lilies too, which are pretty yellow flowers that grow up from mottled, curious leaves and populate the still-slumbering half-dead forest floor as spring launches its slow assault on winter. You get that nice pop of yellow and then they’re gone.

Also, my succulents (given to me by fellow penmonkey and licensed Star Warsian canon creator, Delilah S. Dawson) have begun to bloom, too:

Yesterday, I returned home from Ravencon in Virginia, which was a smallish intimate kind of SFF con full of very nice people, and I thank them for welcoming me and letting me past the perimeter. Bonus fun, I got to see the Misbehavin’ Maidens in concert, which was a bawdy, bonafide blast. Check them out! Nerdy, dirty music, y’all.

Reminder that up next for me is:

BCFL Comic-Con here in Bucks County, PA, May 5th.

Phoenix Comic-fest!

And then BEA/Bookcon after, I think.

And then Writer’s Digest in August, NYC.

What else is new?

Oh, nothing.

*kicks stones*

*affects an aw, shucks face*

Just this:

That is a glorious Mike Deodato cover for the Darth Vader Annual #2, art by Leonard Kirk and words by… well, yours truly. The description of the issue:

DARTH VADER intends for the Empire to hold no secrets for him – or from him. Which means it is time to dig into the pet project of GOVERNOR WILHUFF TARKIN and ORSON KRENNIC: the massive battle station being built on GEONOSIS. Opportunity arises when the project is hindered by sabotage from unknown forces. THE EMPEROR calls on his dark enforcer to root out the source of treachery that threatens to destabilize the Empire’s galactic ascent.

That’s right. I’m all up in your Star Wars again, folks. Getting my smeary fingerprints all over the canon. In this case, I’m borrowing the Vader Car from Charles Soule, so here’s hoping I don’t muck it up too bad and it’s still in working order when I return it.

Also, hey, don’t forget — till the end of this month, you can get ten of my e-books for $10 with coupon BOOKBIRTHDAY with the Mega Biggums Gigantosaur Book Bundle. Though if you really wanna get me a birthday present, wink wink, check out one of my print books, like, say, start with Blackbirds [print | ebook] because you need Miriam Black in your life, if only because she’ll tell you how you die. And if you’ve read the books but aren’t caught up, don’t forget that The Raptor & The Wren is out now [print | ebook] and ha ha ha, oh shit that book’s a doozy.

And that’s it.

Goodbye, my sweet children.

*stares*

*waits*

*definitely not staring and waiting for the bloodroot to kick in*