Apple-Obsessed Author Fella

Drink Me: The Velvet Wendigo

I would like to apologize for that mildly pornographic lemon.

I don’t know how he got in here. I didn’t invite him.

ANYWAY here is a very quick drink recipe you should make, and then put in your face. And then you should make it again, and put it in your face again. Because though it’s not summer here, it got suddenly fucking hot. It had been cold. Unseasonably cold. And damp. And then spring was like, “Fuck it, I’m out early,” and it left the door open, and HELL-HOT SUMMER DEMONS SWEPT ON ON WINGS OF STEAM and they just took over the place. Which meant it was time for a nice, refreshing drink.

Thing is, bourbon is — for me! — not really a nice refreshing drink. I love it! I do. But I don’t associate it with hot summer days or anything.

Bourbon tends to be a winter/fall beverage in our house. In summer I tend to lean toward beer, gin, tequila, the iced tears of my foes.

And yet, I wanted bourbon.

So I made this, and you should make it, too.

Into your mixer goes:

Two ounces bourbon

One ounce of ginger syrup*

The juice of one lemon.

The juice of one (small) orange, like, a blood orange.

That’s literally it.

You could add in an ounce of triple sec or other orange liqueur.

You could add in an ounce of ginger liqueur to replace the ginger syrup.

You could add in a couple dashes of bitters, for sass.

You could just drink the fucking bourbon** and nobody would blame you.

Either way, toss that around and pop it over some ice.

Then drink ten of them and write a comment below.

(As a sidenote, Gareth Skarka on FB asked me what I called this drink, and I had no name, so I called it The Velvet Wendigo, so let’s just make that official, shall we?)

* if you don’t know how to make ginger simple syrup GOD I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING FOR YOU NNNGHHH okay fine take a knob (heh, knob) of peeled ginger and chop it up and pop it in a pot. Also into the pot: 1 cup of sugar (I mix half white, half brown), 1 cup of water, and for some silliness, a splash of vanilla. Boil, then reduce to simmer for 20-30 minutes, until reduced. Stir occasionally.

** this is where you’re like WHAT BOURBON CHUCK JEEZ GODDAMN and I will tell you my secret is that for mixing and casual sipping you can’t do wrong with W.L. Weller — rumor is it’s basically a cheap variant of Pappy Van Winkle, and honestly, for $20, it’s really pretty lovely; if you’re wanting something fancier, I have and enjoy a lot of bourbons, including but not limited to, Hudson Baby, Basil Hayden’s, Colonel Taylor, Bulleit, and so on. Scads of smaller batch bourbons are available but I am not as well-drank there as I am with gin***

*** fine I’ll recommend some fucking gin too, you savages: Bluecoat is hands-down my go-to gin, but also love the Botanist (makes a helluva G&T with elderflower tonic from Fevertree) — though, the greatest G&T I have ever been served was in NYC and it used a gin made by a Brooklyn company called Greenhook Ginsmiths. Sadly due to weirdness in PA liquor laws, I can’t really get it here. Then again, some of you don’t like gin, so, there you go.****

**** though if you don’t like gin I might recommend you try a real gin and not like, the RUBBING ALCOHOL PINE TREE variety you get in most bottles. Most gin is shit, or half-shit. Try something lighter, more botanical, and put it with a non-shitty tonic like FeverTree or Q.