I received a helpful — sorry, “helpful” — email that asked me to, and I quote, “get back to the writing advice, please.” The core idea of the email being that I’m spending too much time on the blog talking about other things (cough cough the bread and circuses of politics) and not enough time on talking to you about characters and commas and how to defeat the bleak unrelenting despair of being a creative human being.
Or, put differently, I am a monkey doing the wrong monkey dance.
So, though I’ve responded to this sort of thing before, I thought I’d take another moment to discuss this request and provide my response to it.
First, this blog is not a writing blog. It’s not any kind of a blog. It’s just a blog, which is to say, it’s a platform for me to squawk and gibber into the void. Further, like with most blogs, it’s free to you — though, be advised, it costs me a pretty penny to run. Free to you, not to me. Now, my books? They’re the opposite. Those are free for me to write, relatively, and cost you. Which is why my books are for you, and my blog is for me.
Second, I am presently wrapping up the writing of a new book (current title which is likely to change: DAMN GOOD STORY). It’s a crunchier, meatier book on storytelling than what you’d normally find here — it’s still silly, occasionally, but it’s a book that tries very hard to make sense of the art of storytelling. And that means I’m expending a lot of my writing/storytelling advice on that book — so, harder to muster it here, because it needs to go there.
Third, and I dunno if you’ve noticed this, but things are really going slippery in this country. We’re all in a tractor-trailer driving across a frozen lake, man. The back end has gone wobbly. We’re fishtailing here and the ice is fracturing underneath us as we rip forward. I don’t open the news and find much good there — it’s hard to say, OH, THANK GOD THEY’RE PUTTING GAG ORDERS ON VITAL GOVERNMENT DEPARTMENTS TO MAKE SURE THEY DON’T TALK TO THE PUBLIC, YOU KNOW, THE DEPARTMENTS THAT THE PUBLIC FUCKING FUNDS WITH OUR PUBLIC FUCKING MONEY. Our president and his press secretary get up there and spout easily disprovable lies (remember: the duck is a dog, you traitor).
I respect you not wanting me to talk about this.
Honestly, I don’t wanna talk about this shit either.
I’d rather talk about literally anything else. Otters! Bees! Cool new sex moves! Books I’ve read, movies I’ve watched, ancient beasts that I have hunted through eldritch wood! I would much rather talk about writing, or cursing, or arting harder, or poop jokes, or pee jokes (though at least there, our current president allows me to pull double-duty). But I wake up every day and I just peek at the news with one half-lidded eye through gently lifted Internet blinds and boom, it’s like that scene in Terminator 2 where the nuclear blast annihilates everything. OH GOD CHRIST IN SOCKS IT BURNS, IT BURNS. The news isn’t good. It’s not, “Hey, Congress did something nice today.” Or, “Wow, Trump gave a kitten some milk.” Instead you get WALLS FRAUD LIES MUSLIMS ILLEGALS TOMBSTONES OBAMACARE CARNAGE SEND IN THE FEDS.
I don’t want to talk about any of this.
I don’t want any of this.
Some of this is normal run-of-the-mill bad. Some of it is a guttering transmission bad.
Some of it is existentially bad.
So, on the one hand, I get what you’re saying. You want to come here, and maybe you want a vacation from the horror show. I grok that. I do. I want to be that port in your storm (wait that sounds sexier than I intend it). I want to be safe harbor from Satan’s Orgy. (Actually, let’s not diss Satan like that. This is much worse, and Satan’s probably pretty cool — after all, he hosts orgies.)
On the other hand, sometimes it feels like when I get these messages, what you’re saying isn’t that you want an oasis in the shit-show, but rather, you want me to shut up about stuff. Because sometimes your emails have that vibe of disagreeability, as if it’s less that you don’t want to hear about politics and more you don’t want to hear my politics. You want me to do the monkey dance you like, not the monkey dance you don’t.
And while I respect that, I gotta do my monkey dance. Not yours.
So.
I’ll make a deal with you.
I’m going to keep talking about this stuff because, c’mon. This affects me and it affects people who are far more vulnerable than me, and it feels right to talk about. We have a Russian puppet Tyrannosaurus Rex barreling down on us — flanked by a Congress of eager velociraptors — and you want me to talk about something else? You’re telling me to shut up about the T-Rex, and I’m trying to warn you about the T-Rex. So, I’m going to keep talking about it — and if that bothers you that much, you are welcome to leap into the maw of the beast and end up as dinosaur shit.
The offer I’ll make is:
Yes, I’ll keep talking about other things, when I have them to talk about. And even when I’m shrieking and freaking out and loading the DINOSAUR TREBUCHET, I’ll still try to be funny or weird or otherwise “me” about the whole thing. I mean, hell, even this post has all the hallmarks of a good Wendig post, doesn’t it? Poop. Satan. Orgies. Dinosaur trebuchets. I’ll try to keep it all at least a little bit funny, because if the laughter dies, our souls die with it.
I’ll get back to the writing advice, relax. The monkey dance will evolve.
But I’m also gonna keep doing what I’m doing, and if you don’t like that, here’s your money back.
*opens pouch, upends invisible and non-existent coins into your open hands*
*last thing out of the pouch is a middle finger*
*and bees*
*so many bees*
carolyn says:
Your voice has been a beacon of hope in the darkness – or at least, entertaining as hell no matter the topic. Do not shut up. Rant and rant hard as your rants hit the mark ALL THE TIME. We need you. That person who complained can go find another blog, or start their own.
January 25, 2017 — 10:44 AM
Wendy Christopher says:
You know what your blog has been doing just lately Chuck, with all the talk about your new ‘Um, President’? It’s reassuring us Brits that huge numbers of the American people DO care, have NOT gone batshit crazy and are good-hearted and open-minded people. You reassure us of that with your words, and the majority of those who respond in your comments do that too. This is a wonderful and much-needed thing, so you keep right on doing what you do the way you want to do it. After all, aren’t writers SUPPOSED to point at the things that aren’t working in the world and say “we need to look at this, guys?”
January 25, 2017 — 10:48 AM
furyious says:
I don’t understand such complaints. It is so easy to just unsubscribe from blogs you don’t want to read. There are a lot of writing advice sites and blogs out there. True, none are quite as entertaining as yours, but seriously, why hang around if they don’t like what they are reading?
Trump isn’t just an unpleasant man who lost the popular vote by more votes than any other president who slunk (slinked?) into the WH. He is a dangerous egomaniac who is destroying the very fabric of the things we believe in. Free and fair elections;freedom of the press;freedom of all religion; equal rights and privileges for all Americans, and that my friends is the tip of the iceberg.
I’m a historian (though long nonpracticing due to lack of gainful employment), and I can tell you that his rhetoric and that of his closest colleagues should be setting off alarms that put your local tornado alarm to shame. He is setting a stage of conditioning Americans to accept the unacceptable, then the propaganda posters, and full page ads, and restriction on the rights of others to dissent will truly begin.
Be aware, my fellow citizens. Be aware and beware.
January 25, 2017 — 10:52 AM
Beth Turnage says:
Nope. You keep doing your monkey dance. I feel exactly the same way. Each day I look at the news I have another heart attack, (oh god, oh god, they are arresting journalists now. Where do we live? How did we slipstream to Nazi Germany?) You do yours and others of us will do ours, and when the carbuncles are removed from the lollipop’s eyes (trump supporters = suckers. I’m tired of being polite here.) we can say, Look, Lollipops we’ve been saying this all along. Now get on the bus and help us fix this mess. That’s what I’m looking forward to.
January 25, 2017 — 10:56 AM
kentuckygal50 says:
You are who you say you are…not what someone says they want you to be. Many people would love to be that way, but are afraid to speak up, to try. (Side note: Do you know how much money you could make selling online courses that tell people it’s ok to be themselves? OY!) Don’t let anyone steal your happy.
January 25, 2017 — 11:17 AM
Kim says:
Speak your mind absolutely and I will feel solidarity. We all need to speak wherever we can. In our homes, work, classrooms and everywhere. Trump is the new hitler, and we swore that would never happen again…. Yet, the emperor remains, and still with no chlothes…
January 25, 2017 — 11:23 AM
Ms. Stretchy Pants says:
Thank you, Chuck, for being an authentic voice in this sludge of noise we call politics. Sometimes on Facebook I have to remind people it’s MY page/feed and I’ll cry if I want to. So, eff off!
Please keep dancing, you freakin’ monkey!
January 25, 2017 — 11:26 AM
Clare Fry says:
Please keep talking about ALL of it Chuck. Your entry about why we need the Affordable Care Act was gold.
January 25, 2017 — 11:27 AM
Jemima Pett says:
Keep up the good work, Chuck.
January 25, 2017 — 11:27 AM
ruth says:
We’ll know we’re really in trouble when everyone STOPS being outraged every day, because it just starts to seem normal…
– Ruth, safe up here in Canada (I hope)
January 25, 2017 — 11:28 AM
Denise McInerney says:
PLEASE, please, please keep on being you! Your blog is a refuge of sanity and balm for those who value truth, courage, inclusion and human decency. Yes, it’s painful to keep reading so many horrifyin
g headlines, but we need to stay informed. With the current administration blatantly forbidding open communication and leveling threats at anyone who dares voice a different opinion, we need to encourage critical thinking more than ever. I’m seeing people telling actors, writers and other creatives who are active on social media/blogs that they shouldn’t voice their own opinions, as if we are some sort of sub-citizen without the same rights as anyone else. How absurd is that? If you don’t want to hear opinions different from your own, then opt out–it’s a free country. Or, it was…
January 25, 2017 — 11:30 AM
Jennifer Rupp says:
Your monkey dance is the only think keeping my soul alive these days.
January 25, 2017 — 11:33 AM
Anastasia says:
*high five*
January 25, 2017 — 11:38 AM
Erin says:
Please ignore those people! Our current existence is nuts, we need you.
January 25, 2017 — 11:50 AM
runnerwriterdaughterwife says:
Keep doing what you’re doing, Chuck! It’s helpful to those of us out here who are horrified by what we wake up to every day to know we are not alone and that the world HAS gone crazy. But it is exhausting, man. Man, is it exhausting or what? But we have to keep focused on it, and we have to do whatever we can to stop the crazy crap he and his administration are shoveling before they torch the whole country. I just hope that there is something we can do, though sometimes I lose faith that there is.
January 25, 2017 — 11:50 AM
rfsimon says:
So many have already voiced what I would say. Still, I’ll add my name to the list of those who come to your blog for so many reasons. Including your political POV. Often, I find your posts have hit on a nuance that I’ve missed, and it gives me something to chew on.
I share links to a lot of your posts on FB and Twitter, probably to the point where people are sick of me and your name. But fuck it. They need to know how I feel, and your writings often say it with more humor and eloquence than I’d muster.
Also it’s refreshing to see a successful, white, straight man who has empathy for people who aren’t like him and is willing to speak up for those who are ignored. You’re smart enough to see that we’re all in a sinking inflatable boat and someone needs to patch the fifty million pinholes in the damned thing or we’ll become chum.
So you keep doing your thing, and I’ll keep reading what you choose to share.
January 25, 2017 — 11:53 AM
Gypsy Thornton says:
Never stop dancing! I’m watching artists and papers and entertainment quietly slide into acceptance of the “new norm” (how TF is this normal ANYwhere, ANY century?! Even Russian citizens are protesting this!) and a part of me despairs that the reliable bastions of courage now come down to Teen Vogue, the ACLU and the Merriam Webster Dictionary – oh, and since yesterday National Parks social media folks who still have their jobs (that’s good – they’re all good – they’re just far too few and, apart from the ACLU, not the ones you expect – hope! – to be the front line). It’s getting rarer day by day to see artists and writers, those with followings for whatever reason, telling it like it is, cutting through the ‘alternative facts’ (OMG) and reminding people to stay awake and be active, #RESIST the slide, so I come here for that, always have. Your calls to writing better have always had that hallmark. I don’t really see how that’s changed. That’s why I’m here. #monkeydanceslikemonkeydances
January 25, 2017 — 12:03 PM
Paula says:
As we have been building towards this horror of a presidency — and the building has been going on for years — every step of the way have been people who made excuses and rationalized bad behaviors. Trump is a gigantic liar, but the GOP created the conditions for him and are now happily using him as cover for every sickening thing they’ve been wanting to force on us for 50 years. The rightwing machine is one gigantic collection of propaganda/misinformation agents and they’ve been spewing lies, getting more and more open and outrageous every year, and people kept looking the other way.
“They don’t really mean it.” Uh yeah, they do.
“Its just politics.” Only if we allow it.
“All politicians lie.” No, they don’t. Really. Not like republicans have been doing. Nothing like that.
“Their lies are so ridiculous no one takes them seriously.” I’m afraid a whole lot of people do.
“They don’t really believe what they’re saying.” Some don’t. But they’re going along with it anyway. And some absolutely do.
I used to tell people that constant lying by officials and media was a genuine problem and so many good people I knew just didn’t want to deal with it. I understand that because I know they knew, at some level, the outcomes could only be bad and they didn’t want to think about those. So fine. By allowing utter dishonesty to be normalized, we’re here. And the outcomes are bad and getting worse.
There are moments in history when you have to take a position — choose sides. This is one of them.
January 25, 2017 — 12:08 PM
Beth Turnage says:
Hear! Hear!
January 25, 2017 — 2:22 PM
heather19692002 says:
I’ve always enjoyed your work. You work harder than an ugly stripper on a Monday afternoon.
Spew, write, heckle from behind your keyboard, but for gods sake man pull yourself together!
Politics is not for the empathic writers.
Just observe with calmness, and occasional spurts of Fuck this but you HAVE us because we enjoy your fucking ephianies so just DEWWWW that! Just relax Ferdinand the world is not ending. *opens a Jack Daniels hands you a shot*
January 25, 2017 — 12:11 PM
David Ralph Lewis says:
Keep going Chuck, your political posts are keeping me from inactive despair. It’s your blog and you can write what you want. You’ve got to write about what’s important to you
January 25, 2017 — 12:11 PM
curleyqueue says:
Wow. A writer writing about subject matter that matters to him/her. What a concept. Wouldn’t want a cessation, and don’t expect one. Respect that you have guts enough to communicate your beliefs and make it be forever on the interwebs, and adore (yes, ADORE) your writing advice. Persevere, Chuck.
January 25, 2017 — 12:13 PM
Katharine Ashe says:
“Wow. A writer writing about subject matter that matters to him/her. What a concept.” :)))
January 25, 2017 — 12:15 PM
Mischa Eliot says:
I love this post. I love it so much I might put a ring on it.
Also, are you a Supernatural fan? Lucifer is pretty cool there unless he’s harassing you by singing stairway to heaven 700 times in your head….
January 25, 2017 — 12:16 PM
churnage says:
It’s ‘merica. Write the fuck what you want to write. If some people don’t like it, there are a billion other blogs out there for their amusement or edification or infotainment or whatever.
January 25, 2017 — 12:16 PM
Katharine Ashe says:
Go go go go go keep gooooo iiiiinnnng! We love your posts. All the words. All the thoughts. Thank you, Chuck!
January 25, 2017 — 12:20 PM
jeannenicholas says:
Hey, I just signed on yesterday to read your blog. I read Duck is a Dog and was laughing to keep from throwing up. Politics are hot topic right now. I don’t think I’ve read one blog where something hasn’t been mentioned. I took my 78-year-old mom to bingo the other day and the couple (a Latino retired Navy guy and his wife) sitting next to us was talking about giving Punk a chance and how everyone that didn’t vote for Punk was just mad that Hillary lost. I don’t even know what to do with that convo. So on a new note, I’m a writer, I read writer blogs. Any advice is great. I just finished my first novel (a sci-fi, 131,000 wc) and I’m editing and revising. Any tips/tricks/suggestions/pretty pictures would be fantastic. Thanks
January 25, 2017 — 12:21 PM
ron says:
Great! People that whine about your choice of topics are the same that whine that Facebook censors (they OWN the site!!!). Keep on keepin’ on!!
January 25, 2017 — 12:26 PM
Ruth Nestvold says:
I find it fascinating that anyone thinks they have the right to tell what you should include on your blog. So I think your response is very appropriate. 😀
January 25, 2017 — 12:33 PM
socalvillaguy says:
We expect nothing less from a man who has never held back no matter what the subject. Speak truth to power, as the kids say.
January 25, 2017 — 12:34 PM
Jena Ball says:
Don’t stop. You are doing exactly what you need to be doing, as should every single writer worth his or her salt. We are the fact keepers, the ones whose ability to articulate issues and make ideas clear with words are desperately needed.If we don’t keep using those skills there may be no need for writing tips.
January 25, 2017 — 12:35 PM
sanderellasews says:
I love your blog Chuck. Love ❤️ it.
January 25, 2017 — 12:38 PM
pascalek says:
I knew I loved you, dear Chucky, but this… this… has forever cemented you in my heart. and possibly in my loins. i know our respective spouses may find it inconvenient, but we need to be together.
OR you can just keep being your badass self, telling it like it is, and making the smart people think and laugh. that would be ok too.
pascale
January 25, 2017 — 12:39 PM
dpatneaude says:
I’ll add my attaboy to all the others. When I see and hear people nodding along placidly (or red-faced and red-necked and insanely) to Trump’s alternative-reality stuff, I find myself questioning the human condition and worrying about (dreading, actually, now that he’s in office and doing the shit he promised to do) the direction of our country. And the world. So your words at least assure me that there are still perceptive folks in our society, and luckily, many of them are the ones who can read and write and recognize a flim-flam man for what he is, especially when he comes to town wearing no clothes and tries to convince us that those open sores and carbuncles and boils and weeping pustules all over his bloated body are really the finest of silk and wool and gold threads and lucky us, he’s gonna share what he has, come a little closer. Trust me. I have all the answers. What do those experts know? Keep writing your truths, Chuck!
January 25, 2017 — 12:42 PM
Kim says:
Well put!!
January 25, 2017 — 12:53 PM
Paula says:
“and tries to convince us that those open sores and carbuncles and boils and weeping pustules all over his bloated body are really the finest of silk and wool and gold threads”
Perfect!
January 25, 2017 — 12:59 PM
morgainesmusings says:
Um just no! You keep doing what you are doing. You keep doing YOUR monkey dance!! This is your page. And judging by some of the comments I just scrolled by to get to the comment box many other don’t want you to change anything either. Some one has to speak out, some one has to let others know they aren’t alone. If you speak out, you might give some one else the courage to do the same, and so on. I am finding that others are saying the things I cannot seem to find the words for. Thank you for your words.
January 25, 2017 — 12:45 PM
Alice E Keyes says:
You’re awesome! I love every one of your political posts. Art Harder!
January 25, 2017 — 12:45 PM
Laura says:
Love ya, Man!
January 25, 2017 — 12:48 PM
Laura says:
And, by the way, F*ck Kumbaya!
January 25, 2017 — 12:50 PM
Karen says:
We had Brexit and you guys Trump and I can’t make sense of either without you making me laugh. so monkey if you ever need a dance partner or someone to help choreograph a routine…I’m in!
January 25, 2017 — 12:51 PM
David Corbett says:
I want more cheese.
Wait — where am I?
January 25, 2017 — 12:54 PM
redwolfhound says:
hey Chuck you keep doing your monkey dance after all this is your blog and not someone else’s, not that you need my or anyone else’s support. I would just like to say that T2 analogy is fantastic along with the Trex and vilociraptors. Totally sharing.
January 25, 2017 — 1:03 PM
Casondra Brewster says:
We’re right back to the George R.R. Martin is not your bitch philosophy so pointed so handily by Sir Neil Gaiman. But, in support of this entry, my bee hive needs to split this spring. I can add to your bees, literally. Oh, and i serve my blog the same way. People who like my #harvestcreations posts, want more of that. Those who like my #intheweeds posts want more of that. And so on and so on…(until we all have beautiful hair). But it’s all for me. My blog is my kingdom. I look at other blogs the same.
January 25, 2017 — 1:06 PM
annelippin says:
xoxo
January 25, 2017 — 1:18 PM
Michelle says:
You do whatever dance fits your mood. I’ll read it and/or watch it. Thank you for being who you are, Chuck.
January 25, 2017 — 1:20 PM
Dutchman71 says:
Chuck, you’re too funny. You made me smile and in these times – not that much to smile about. 😛
January 25, 2017 — 1:26 PM
Jim C. says:
For the love of fuck, please don’t stop posting whatever you want on the blog, including the political stuff. Especially the political stuff – we need more islands of sanity.
Also, I have some unrelated fan gushing: I finished Invasive a couple of weeks ago (thanks for the ebook sale!) and liked it enough to grab Blackbirds. I am genuinely impressed that you were able to create two such different protagonist voices – Hannah and Miriam are very different, but both characters seem authentic to me – and both books were terrific reads. It’s a nice change from authors like John Scalzi and Seanan McGuire who each have heroes that often to have very similar voices across different stories (although those are 2 of my favorite authors, so clearly I enjoy those particular voices). I’ll be picking up the other books in the Miriam Black series, and if my past history is any guide, every other thing you’ve written :-).
January 25, 2017 — 1:27 PM
KKB says:
Golly. It’s YOUR blog. Write what you damn well please! (P.s. I love every word of it.)
January 25, 2017 — 1:42 PM
Bill Glover (@I_Write_Fiction) says:
Can we have the dinosaur trebuchet AND the bees. I have this idea…
January 25, 2017 — 1:44 PM
PST (@pstaylor) says:
I’m sick of talking about T***p already, but I’d be even more sick if people WEREN’T talking about him. The fact that we elected this half-assed nazi is bad enough. At least most americans seem upset by it, which is 10000000 times better than apathy.
And you know what? If I don’t want political opinions, I don’t click on blog posts with political opinions. It’s not like you work in the cubicle next to mine and are ranting under your breath all day.
January 25, 2017 — 1:55 PM
writing, writing, words words words. says:
Lol, thumbs up. xo
January 25, 2017 — 1:58 PM
Mel says:
Reading your words make me feel less crazy, like I’m not the only one sitting here WTFing all over the place. I linked back to this post with some thoughts of my own, and… yeah I don’t have anything different to say. lol
https://melodyklink.com/2017/01/25/chuck-wendig-i-dont-wanna-talk-about-this-sht-either/
January 25, 2017 — 2:05 PM