I received a helpful — sorry, “helpful” — email that asked me to, and I quote, “get back to the writing advice, please.” The core idea of the email being that I’m spending too much time on the blog talking about other things (cough cough the bread and circuses of politics) and not enough time on talking to you about characters and commas and how to defeat the bleak unrelenting despair of being a creative human being.
Or, put differently, I am a monkey doing the wrong monkey dance.
So, though I’ve responded to this sort of thing before, I thought I’d take another moment to discuss this request and provide my response to it.
First, this blog is not a writing blog. It’s not any kind of a blog. It’s just a blog, which is to say, it’s a platform for me to squawk and gibber into the void. Further, like with most blogs, it’s free to you — though, be advised, it costs me a pretty penny to run. Free to you, not to me. Now, my books? They’re the opposite. Those are free for me to write, relatively, and cost you. Which is why my books are for you, and my blog is for me.
Second, I am presently wrapping up the writing of a new book (current title which is likely to change: DAMN GOOD STORY). It’s a crunchier, meatier book on storytelling than what you’d normally find here — it’s still silly, occasionally, but it’s a book that tries very hard to make sense of the art of storytelling. And that means I’m expending a lot of my writing/storytelling advice on that book — so, harder to muster it here, because it needs to go there.
Third, and I dunno if you’ve noticed this, but things are really going slippery in this country. We’re all in a tractor-trailer driving across a frozen lake, man. The back end has gone wobbly. We’re fishtailing here and the ice is fracturing underneath us as we rip forward. I don’t open the news and find much good there — it’s hard to say, OH, THANK GOD THEY’RE PUTTING GAG ORDERS ON VITAL GOVERNMENT DEPARTMENTS TO MAKE SURE THEY DON’T TALK TO THE PUBLIC, YOU KNOW, THE DEPARTMENTS THAT THE PUBLIC FUCKING FUNDS WITH OUR PUBLIC FUCKING MONEY. Our president and his press secretary get up there and spout easily disprovable lies (remember: the duck is a dog, you traitor).
I respect you not wanting me to talk about this.
Honestly, I don’t wanna talk about this shit either.
I’d rather talk about literally anything else. Otters! Bees! Cool new sex moves! Books I’ve read, movies I’ve watched, ancient beasts that I have hunted through eldritch wood! I would much rather talk about writing, or cursing, or arting harder, or poop jokes, or pee jokes (though at least there, our current president allows me to pull double-duty). But I wake up every day and I just peek at the news with one half-lidded eye through gently lifted Internet blinds and boom, it’s like that scene in Terminator 2 where the nuclear blast annihilates everything. OH GOD CHRIST IN SOCKS IT BURNS, IT BURNS. The news isn’t good. It’s not, “Hey, Congress did something nice today.” Or, “Wow, Trump gave a kitten some milk.” Instead you get WALLS FRAUD LIES MUSLIMS ILLEGALS TOMBSTONES OBAMACARE CARNAGE SEND IN THE FEDS.
I don’t want to talk about any of this.
I don’t want any of this.
Some of this is normal run-of-the-mill bad. Some of it is a guttering transmission bad.
Some of it is existentially bad.
So, on the one hand, I get what you’re saying. You want to come here, and maybe you want a vacation from the horror show. I grok that. I do. I want to be that port in your storm (wait that sounds sexier than I intend it). I want to be safe harbor from Satan’s Orgy. (Actually, let’s not diss Satan like that. This is much worse, and Satan’s probably pretty cool — after all, he hosts orgies.)
On the other hand, sometimes it feels like when I get these messages, what you’re saying isn’t that you want an oasis in the shit-show, but rather, you want me to shut up about stuff. Because sometimes your emails have that vibe of disagreeability, as if it’s less that you don’t want to hear about politics and more you don’t want to hear my politics. You want me to do the monkey dance you like, not the monkey dance you don’t.
And while I respect that, I gotta do my monkey dance. Not yours.
So.
I’ll make a deal with you.
I’m going to keep talking about this stuff because, c’mon. This affects me and it affects people who are far more vulnerable than me, and it feels right to talk about. We have a Russian puppet Tyrannosaurus Rex barreling down on us — flanked by a Congress of eager velociraptors — and you want me to talk about something else? You’re telling me to shut up about the T-Rex, and I’m trying to warn you about the T-Rex. So, I’m going to keep talking about it — and if that bothers you that much, you are welcome to leap into the maw of the beast and end up as dinosaur shit.
The offer I’ll make is:
Yes, I’ll keep talking about other things, when I have them to talk about. And even when I’m shrieking and freaking out and loading the DINOSAUR TREBUCHET, I’ll still try to be funny or weird or otherwise “me” about the whole thing. I mean, hell, even this post has all the hallmarks of a good Wendig post, doesn’t it? Poop. Satan. Orgies. Dinosaur trebuchets. I’ll try to keep it all at least a little bit funny, because if the laughter dies, our souls die with it.
I’ll get back to the writing advice, relax. The monkey dance will evolve.
But I’m also gonna keep doing what I’m doing, and if you don’t like that, here’s your money back.
*opens pouch, upends invisible and non-existent coins into your open hands*
*last thing out of the pouch is a middle finger*
*and bees*
*so many bees*
Mary Becelia says:
I’m a pretty new subscriber to your blog & this is the first that has prompted me to comment, but I LOVED IT SO MUCH I have to!!! Thank you for the post & for not shying away from writing what YOU want to write. The fact that I happen to agree with a lot of it…sure…that’s probably why I LOVE IT SO MUCH. At any rate, thank you. Now back to running full tilt away from the TRex…
January 25, 2017 — 8:58 AM
Lisa Roe says:
Yup, what Mary said. 😉
January 25, 2017 — 10:07 AM
Kimberly Jayne says:
You are so in my heart. 🙂 Keep doing EXACTLY what you’re doing.
January 25, 2017 — 8:58 AM
The Urban Spaceman says:
*Le gasp!* How dare you talk about your own choice of subjects on your self-funded blog!
Tongue-in-cheekness aside, it’s not like this blog is the one and only place on the whole of the entire world wide interwebs to get writing advice. Sure, you (Chuck) put things across in terminology which is both entertaining and understandable to the average reader and writer, but it’s not like the world’s supply of writing advice is drying up because Chuck doesn’t blog about it for a few weeks or months. There are plenty of other resources out there for would-be writers to check out, and this blog will always be here. Unless it goes the way of those poor government departments. Stranger things have probably happened.
On a much more serious note, if you actually were to write a Kama Sutra book in which all the positions were given names like “so many bees” and “dinosaur trebuchets” I would definitely buy that.
January 25, 2017 — 8:59 AM
Michael Denzin says:
Keep it up. The resistance needs truth to power.
January 25, 2017 — 9:01 AM
eve tenebra (@evetenebra) says:
Bees. Bees could.. fix.. so MUCH, I can’t help thinking. Well, bees and the Yeti Congress. Thank you for *everything* you write.
January 25, 2017 — 9:01 AM
Aislynn d'Merricksson says:
What about the ants, Chuck? Why are there no ants in the pouch?
January 25, 2017 — 9:03 AM
Disgruntled Peony says:
My guess would be that the bees stung them to death.
January 28, 2017 — 10:01 PM
jjtoner says:
Keep up the good work, my friend. Yours is one of a vanishingly few sane voices in the intervoid. I wish we were facing a roaring T-Rex and velociraptors. We could handle those. 🙂
January 25, 2017 — 9:03 AM
Melinda VanLone says:
Keep on being you Chuck. and Thank you, for saying All The Things. Today, I pick up the phone and for the first time in my life I’m calling my congressional representatives. Because that march soothed me for a day, but it didn’t fix the problem. And from what I hear, they ignore emails. Phone is best.
Keep talking! Maybe if more of us rage against the dying of the light…maybe then the light won’t die.
*claps hands* I do believe in fairies, I DO believe in fairies!
January 25, 2017 — 9:04 AM
Jenni Legate says:
You’re my hero. Your posts about staying creative when our world is literally imploding and your ability to make your point with humor has kept my spirits up. I share and post your political stuff on my FB because I believe you’re point of view is well-informed, caring, and cogent. Keep it up. If someone doesn’t like the way you do your monkey dance, that’s their problem, not yours. The rest of us love it.
January 25, 2017 — 9:10 AM
Harry Brautt says:
Chuck, I appreciate what you do for us. The president whined and lied his way through the weenend, and then on Monday the transmission in my car failed. More nonsense from the president and I’m getting twisted up about that and the fact that I am spending $4000 that I don’t have to get the car rolling again. It’s helpful to hear that you, too, are “concerned” about the ape in the Oval Office who is flinging poo instead of being presidential, and it helps.
Thank you.
January 25, 2017 — 9:13 AM
Rebeca Andrade says:
Thank you, Chuck. For still talking about this, thank you.
I had an argument with my boyfriend about it yesterday. We were discussing yet another bill introduced to fuck up reproductive rights for women and he kept saying there was no way it was ever going to pass. It escalated and we both got mad but I get what he was trying to do: reassure me that everything will be okay and also maybe avoid continuing to talk about a topic that’s really causing him stress.
Ultimately we both kinda acknowledged that we can’t act like society won’t regress and turn to shit (even if just for a blip) because a) history has taught us it’s possible and b) ignoring the problems will be the opposite of helpful.
It hurts. I know it hurts. But it’s gonna hurt a lot worse if we bury our heads in the sand.
Also–fuck yeah it’s your blog. You can do what you want >:(
January 25, 2017 — 9:14 AM
Carmen Watson says:
Knowing that you’re seeing this same shit, that you’re writing about it, dude, it’s helping me stay sane. I keep wanting someone to say I’m over re-acting. But it really is that bad. Your blog is a sanity check for me. You make me laugh about it, a little bit, and that lets me get back to work, and maybe smile a bit, too. Thanks.
January 25, 2017 — 9:15 AM
BABYBOOMER johanna van zanten says:
I have learned from your great posts about writing, but yes, what comes first must come first! Your freedoms, e.g. to do write what you want to write about, might be at risk with the new (anti-political, anti-facts and devastating) political developments in the US. Keep up the good work. Johanna.
January 25, 2017 — 9:15 AM
Steve Voelker says:
Chuck Wendig is my patronus.
January 25, 2017 — 9:16 AM
pascalek says:
yaaaaaaaassssss!!
January 25, 2017 — 12:33 PM
cepheus42 says:
Chuck, you keep doing what you’re doing. I’ve grown tired of listening to people call on artists to sit down and shut up about their political beliefs, particularly in light of the fact that those messages often come from the mouths of other artists, like Scott “I Only Had One Great Role and I Was a Teenage Bagel” Baio, and the same party that tells artists to keep their mouths closed elected an actor as President. It’s their way of muting the backlash against their policies, and they will continue to expand their definitions of “acceptable” groups who are allowed to speak about politics until there’s no one left.
Write what moves you, it’ll move us. And if it doesn’t, they can always subscribe to Scott’s “Still a Teen Heartthrob in spite of the fact I’m almost 60 and no one remembers who I am” blog.
January 25, 2017 — 9:17 AM
capitola54 says:
Writers have been and remain one of the first and best lines of defense against lies told by those in political power, so keep spouting those monkey thoughts. Your blog sets an outstanding example for all writers, all creative people, and we are indebted to you for this.
January 25, 2017 — 9:18 AM
amandarhowland says:
Keep it up, man – I fully support what you’re doing. We’re all going through this together, and only a writer could articulate what it’s like to be a writer frustrated by the soul-gnawing distraction of the attack on our democracy. You need to keep writing what only you can write – the fact that this blog is not boxed into a nubby little niche is what makes it authentic and interesting and strong.
January 25, 2017 — 9:20 AM
Julie Hutchings says:
The beauty of our Lead Penmonkey is in your ability to make us all GET THE FUCK TO WORK and relish our creativity. But you’re not a formula of poop jokes and Dino orgies and unfaltering advice– you’re still CHUCK. And you’re still a writer, making you hyperaware of what IS and what COULD BE and hypersensitive to feelings about it. If YOUR blog leans toward the Devil’s Drumpf Dungeon right now, that’s the fodder for your next great work! That’s the stuff that makes you obsess on the “what if” and freak the fuck out about it on the page where we can read and say YES THIS CHARACTER IS LIVING MY LIFE BUT NOT LITERALLY, MORE PARALLEL UNIVERSY. Your awareness is what makes you relevant. And your willingness to talk about it makes you CHUCK.
No more questions, your honor.
Julie “TURTS” Hutchings
January 25, 2017 — 9:40 AM
Peggy Reed says:
Dance Monkey! Dance! I am comforted to know there are other people who see the world spinning out of control and just can not stop talking about it, pointing at it, screaming about it!
January 25, 2017 — 9:32 AM
Ishta says:
Calling out politicians on their BS is part of our job as writers. If we don’t do it, who will? Keep fighting the good fight.
January 25, 2017 — 9:37 AM
Naiobi says:
I am with you! You are one of the few who has the stones to put it out there. Thank you for your voice <3
January 25, 2017 — 9:37 AM
sburnside says:
Actually, in a country/state/family that largely is failing to see the horrific implications of what Prez L’Orange is currently doing., this *is* a port of sanity. However, if any of your visitors truly want a writerly spin on this, point out that the current affairs of late with the new administration is a perfect blueprint (if a little heavy-handed) for a dystopian novel of how America could become a totalitarian regime. You have a leader whose favorite term is ‘gaslighting’, who is eroding faith in the free press, muzzling and and all government agencies that could contradict his policies or opinions, and a legislative body that seems all too willing to ignore his worst excesses in return for being able to ramrod through their own personal agendas. It’d be beautiful if it wasn’t also really happening. Besides that, i’m not sure how anyone could be a regular consumer of your blog and NOT already know what you would be saying. I don’t watch the Expanse to receive a Neil deGrasse Tyson-level science education (although its not bad, hard sci-fi-wise) and I don’t visit your blog for conservative punditry. I come for the expletives-laden angst (well, also voyeuristically seeing how successful writers do their thing). I say You Be You.
January 25, 2017 — 9:38 AM
manifenestration says:
KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK.
January 25, 2017 — 9:38 AM
annabutlerfiction says:
Trying to find a way of putting a huge, sparkly red HEART into the middle of this comment and failing miserably. I love your writing advice, but most of all I love your writing. All of it. Yours is a voice (profane, shouty, cross, impassioned, authentic) that people need to hear. Keep at it.
Oh and bees. Keep sending the bastards bees.
January 25, 2017 — 9:41 AM
Kmcsous says:
What you’re writing about stuff that matters. Keep going. And from a purely selfish perspective, reading it each morning is like (free) therapy that helps me vent, clear my head and tackle the page. Thank you.
January 25, 2017 — 9:42 AM
mitziflyte says:
Speaking up and speaking out – how we can fight this Regime.
Keep it up, Chuck!!!
January 25, 2017 — 9:43 AM
DS Ullery says:
I know posts about politics are becoming tiresome to some. I get it. Sometimes I too need a break, which is why I put up as much entertaining or humorous material as I do news items carrying more gravitas.
The thing is, we have to keep doing it. No matter how snide or dismissive people might get, no matter how insulting or threatening others may become, we absolutely cannot allow what is happening in Washington as I type this to be normalized. We no longer have the societal luxury of perpetuating the status quo from a relatively detached safe distance. “It will never happen here” is a phrase we have to remove from the lexicon.
Because the moment we shrug our shoulders and nonchalantly tell ourselves “Ah, well. This is how it is. There’s nothing I can do about it” is when it happens here.
This morning on the news, I watched with dismay as it was reported that Trump is turning his attention to immigration now, with an eye for shutting down our refugee programs.
Think about that for a second. A nation based on the very premise that anyone from anywhere can come here in peace and pursue the life they want -the nation with the statue of Lady Liberty standing eternal vigil as she greets newcomers with an encouragement to bring their tired, huddled masses- now has leadership planning to tell those same huddled masses they are not welcome.
Look, I support the idea that the USA should dial back our direct involvement in other, sovereign nations. Barring a direct attack on us or our troops stationed elsewhere, I agree it’s time we reduced our intervention globally and started addressing issues of economics and infrastructure here at home.
But to turn our back on millions of people fleeing for America in an effort to save their families from persecution and build a peaceful new life is just ugly. It’s flies in the face of our core ideology that all are welcome to live in liberty.
I have to wonder how the evangelical community who supported Trump will respond,considering suspending the admittance of refugees represents direct disobedience to Christ’s second greatest commandment. At no point did Jesus add a loophole suggesting we could abandon compassion if it might cost us dearly. In fact, he was adamant that following his path would be hard….That’s why the gate his teachings lead us to is narrow and not everyone will pass through. If we ignore the suffering of others because of a bad few who wish to do us harm, we’re entirely missing the point.
Don’t buy into it. Don’t accept this as the new reality. Be angry. Protest. Make a scene. Shout to the heavens. Organize, oppose, post and speak your mind.
Because we cannot permit this to be the new normal. No matter what your beliefs, we are all in this together.
D. S. Ullery
01/25/17
January 25, 2017 — 9:44 AM
Tamra Hart says:
Thank you for saying what my fingers and brain wanted to say in respond to Chuck but couldn’t manage to coordinate to do so. You nailed it.
January 25, 2017 — 11:23 AM
Paula says:
Yes, yes, yes.
January 25, 2017 — 11:55 AM
bridget whelan says:
Don’t change. Or do, it’s your choice (but I’d rather you didn’t).
January 25, 2017 — 9:45 AM
spacedlaw says:
In other news: you are not our bitch and that’s FINE.
January 25, 2017 — 9:49 AM
Aura Eadon says:
By staying true to yourself, you honour you, you honour us (you audience), and you do you. Thank you for being who you are.
January 25, 2017 — 9:51 AM
leslieartist333 says:
blog away! I wish I had such a platform- so I could blog in support of the EPA and other employees the current whackjob federal administration is forbidding from tweet/post/blog anything not in support of the Dump’s policies.
January 25, 2017 — 9:54 AM
Hillary Pedrotti says:
You do you. I enjoy your rants because the vitriol you spew in the direction of Trump settles the raging storm in my heart and mind as I read about the massive bullshit he and his new “friends” are pulling. Thank you for your monkey dance. I am clapping as loud as I can!
January 25, 2017 — 9:58 AM
melorajohnson says:
Chuck – it’s always good to hear your thoughts, on writing and politics. I’m seeing the same things you are and am equally dismayed. We all need someplace to vent and to put our thoughts in order by writing them out. There are a whole lot of people with blinders on right now and there are many of us who can only take reality in small doses, but we have to keep our eyes open.
January 25, 2017 — 9:58 AM
Kate Pavelle says:
Seen in the post feed of a writing group: “Chuck Wending is my spirit animal!” Take it any way you want.
AND… yeah. Sometimes, when I get too much political exposure, I skip your blog – but not all the time. I like your brand of funny weirdness. I also like my brand, which is why every Tuesday, I lay siege to my senator’s field office, along with a bunch of like-minded people, who send a polite delegation upstairs while we rabble mill around and give stump speeches and shout slogans and wave signs. And we call his office EVERY DAY. His voice mailbox is full. I might have to buy a fax machine and transmit my opinions on paper. (I gave a stump speech! It was kind of scary-fun, especially when 120 people started repeating a sentence I said over and over, chanting, “We want facts!” As opposed to alt-facts.) See? Good times. I got away from the computer, and have fulfilled my goal of seeing people in real-time, real-space once a week 🙂
January 25, 2017 — 9:59 AM
J.F. Constantine says:
Gosh, Chuck, I have to keep getting on here telling you how much I love you all the time. You keep writing stuff that makes sense, and is put together well. You are awesome, dude. Keep it coming!! 🙂
January 25, 2017 — 10:01 AM
annwjwhite says:
I like your monkey dance. Don’t change it for anyone but you. I come to read your blog because you are a sane oasis in a world where the water is flooding the middle of the US and seeking to bury Miami (because mosquitoes with diseases just aren’t enough) in floodwaters. Hope that condo you bought as an investment is on the 30th floor. You’re entertaining. Funny even. Can I borrow the title Dinosaur Trebuchet? It rocks as a title. Or you could write the book and I’d buy 20 copies at Christmas for all of my family and friends. I give books as Christmas presents, or flannel pajamas, or a nice sweater, but you will get a book from me. Then I borrow them when I run out of my books in my “to be read pile.” So, dance, monkey, dance. The only thing that will effect you is the truth in the light of the moon.
January 25, 2017 — 10:02 AM
Di says:
Blogs are for bloggers. We need to NOT ignore what is going on in our world, though like Kate, I often turn off the news for respite. It brings to mind, “Bye Bye Miss American Pie.”
January 25, 2017 — 10:05 AM
Cat York says:
You are one of the most generous bloggers when it comes to writing advice. Seriously, I don’t know how you have time for all of it. You’ve built a community here around it, and no one should be giving you shit about what you do on your own blog or twitter feed. I’ve bought your “500 ways” writing books. They are very funny, helpful, and sans politics. If someone wants that kind of information from you, they can buy your books.
January 25, 2017 — 10:06 AM
Rob says:
To anyone looking to read Chuck’s writing advice instead of his political views: buy all his advice ebooks.
Only after you’ve bought all of them and read every past writing-related blog post can you tell him what to write about. Wait… No. Even then, you don’t get a fucking say.
January 25, 2017 — 10:06 AM
annwjwhite says:
Oh, and there is going to be a Scientist march on Trump in March. I’m going to go tag along. After all, science support is required by the US Constitution, Article seven or eight. States the document, “Support and encourage science and the practical arts.” That was such a cool thing to re-remember.
January 25, 2017 — 10:12 AM
annwjwhite says:
I’m singing Zevon’s Send Lawyers, guns and money, cause the sh+t has hit the fan.
January 25, 2017 — 10:13 AM
pawnyourhalo says:
It’s always a good time to invoke the GitcherOwnDamnBlog rule, but I’m here to high-five every inch of this message and shout THANK YOU in all caps. This is not a time of business as usual. Let’s not ignore the 800 pound Nazi in the room.
January 25, 2017 — 10:13 AM
fadedglories says:
Chuck ….I NEED YOU to keep blogging the way you do.
I mean that, I really NEED to hear a different voice from those of the bleating sheep mumbling away in England’s Green and once Pleasant land. We get similar shit dished out by our very own Wicked Witch and a lot of people here just Bleat and turn up the volume on the Telly.
Please if only for me…….. Keep on doing just what you’re doing.
I’m right here clapping and whooping.
January 25, 2017 — 10:18 AM
Julie Clark (@_JulieClark_) says:
I don’t even know you, but I’ve plopped you into my weekly reading pile, which is as short as I am. (New reader via Writer’s Digest yearbook 2017.) From one author to another, going to say thank you for *gasp* being REAL. Omg it’s like you actually think for…yourself.
*faint*
You write the unspeakable.
*swoon*
How writers/authors constantly have others pushing us into niches, squeezing and stifling us to be predictable and manipulated at all times. (Yes, I push back.) Last fall, I’ll bet many followers muted me on the little blue bird as my tweets, like yours, have become *screams with horror* commentary on the real world we currently exist in.
So, thank you for being real. It’s a choice I’ve made on my social media feeds, reflected in my website I’m currently filling up with all sorts of rambles. This post fueled me to continue.
Thank you.
January 25, 2017 — 10:20 AM
seamusmack says:
Straight from the Prophet Mencken…”As democracy is perfected, the office represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. We move toward a lofty ideal. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.”
January 25, 2017 — 10:21 AM
katcoz says:
Thank you for putting my thoughts into words. I can’t stop either. First, I’m 64 with grandchildren that I have little time left to fix the world for them, and second, resistance is how I keep my sanity.
January 25, 2017 — 10:22 AM
debluhen says:
Been following you on Twitter and glad I found this here post. Haven’t seen the ones to whom you respond, but don’t need to. They’re sad.
January 25, 2017 — 10:25 AM
Deborah says:
You said duty. Hahahaha!
January 25, 2017 — 10:26 AM
The Regulator Guy says:
I found this blog through the writing tips, but the political posts are very entertaining. Please continue posting whatever your Muse drives you to.
January 25, 2017 — 10:27 AM
Steve Fey says:
This is writing advice, at least to those who read the original thread. An excellent example of pulling coherence out of a first draft.
January 25, 2017 — 10:30 AM
Richard Rebelo Sanchez says:
I come here to listen to you rant about whatever. I like that. Now you happen to be a writer and so you talk about writing sometimes, I really like that too. I love that I don’t know what to expect: a weird photo, writing challenge, guest blerbs, and all kinds of different ideas. Keep writing your blog for you, a lot of us enjoy and appreciate your thoughts. And hell yes, our reality in these United States of America is very much like a dystopian novel you have a hard time swallowing.
January 25, 2017 — 10:42 AM