Once upon a time, my wife and I took a cheap empty Nativity scene.
And we turned it into the Nerdtivity.
Then we did it three more times.
I have not done it in five years and I was pondering doing when again.
I pondered so publicly on THE TWITTERS, and there my good friend and bestselling bad-ass author extraordinaire Kevin Hearne said (and I’m paraphrasing here):
“Fuck yeah, we should do a contest.”
And I was like, fuck yeah, we should do a contest.
And so, here we are, telling you to make your own Nerdtivity scene and send it to us. Kevin and I will pick our favorite, and then you guys will pick your favorites, and then for the halibut we’ll also pick a couple random entrants.
THERE SHALL BE PRIZES. What Prizes?
Here There Be Prizes
Grand Prize Winner (one chosen by Kevin and Chuck) gets:
A Complete! Signed! Set! (books 1-7) of the IDC UK editions from Kevin! Such a set doesn’t exist anywhere else in the world. Seriously.
A turbo-rare SNACK OF THE SEX MANTIS mug from Kevin: a pulp classic by Beauregard Fat!
One terribleminds t-shirt (either: Certified Penmonkey or Art Harder, Motherfucker)
One terribleminds mug (choice of: Certified Penmonkey, Secret of Writing, Art Harder [NSFW or SFW versions!}, or Writer Juice)
One signed set of the Miriam Black trilogy (Blackbirds, Mockingbird, Cormorant), all in mass market paperback (these versions are going out of print December 31st!)
One signed set of the first two books of the Heartland series (Under the Empyrean Sky, Blightborn), both in hardcover.
Second Prize Winners (two chosen by audience) get:
Any one signed IDC book of their choice from Kevin.
A Rula Bula embroidered polo shirt in either M or XL from Kevin. They don’t make them anymore!
One signed copy of The Kick-Ass Writer
One terribleminds mug (choice of: Certified Penmonkey, Secret of Writing, or Art Harder)
Third Prize Winners (two chosen randomly) get:
One signed IDC book by Kevin (book of your choice)
A shitload of e-books by Chuck (writing books, plus some fiction thrown in)
The Rules
You get one entry. Multiple entries disqualifies you.
Send your photo to terribleminds at gmail dot com.
[Edit: make sure the word “NERDTIVITY” is in your subject header of the email!]
Your photo is due by 11:59PM on the dreaded Sunday the 14th of December.
Kevin and I will pick our favorites that week, and then you guys will have some time to pick your favorites, too. And then we’ll pick the random winners and everyone will celebrate by getting drunk on Kevin’s lawn. I’m pretty sure that’s the plan, anyway?
Contest only open to those in the United States unless you’re willing to front the costs of your own shipping because for reals, that stuff can get hellishly expensive. DAMN YOU, GLOBAL DISTANCE.
The Not-Quite Rules
Your Nerdtivity can be anything, really, outside the norm of the normal Nativity scene, though obviously the intent is to aim for that axis of geeky / nerdy / pop-culturey. Have fun. Be funny. Embrace your own inner nerdtivity. Photoshop is acceptable, though bad Photoshop won’t do you any favors. Really bad Photoshop can be sorta awesome, though, so YMMV.
That’s it.
Any questions, pop ’em in the comments below.
Before we flee, too — here’s Kevin’s Nerdtivity: “The dread lord Morpheus presides over the birth of Neo in the Matrix, who dreams of the Dreaming and Adventure Time while a masked 1920’s Sandman tells him what to fear most in life.”
NOW GO FORTH AND NERD OUT, MY NERDS.
KVeldman says:
Awesome. Time to whip out the Super Mario action figures.
December 3, 2014 — 7:48 AM
Lynne Cantwell says:
Unfair. The Dancing Groot bobblehead won’t be available ’til *after* Christmas.
December 3, 2014 — 10:09 AM
Mark Gardner says:
That Homestar Runner scene is AwEsOmE!
December 3, 2014 — 10:10 AM
Casondra Brewster says:
This just became a family activity for this Sunday. I’m too excited.
December 3, 2014 — 10:46 AM
Matthew Saint says:
Lynne Cantwell, note *really bad photoshop can be sort of awesome* – so Dancing Groot bobbleheads are not strictly prohibited even within the established time barrier.
December 3, 2014 — 11:26 AM
Scarlet Darkwood says:
Christmas just got more interesting!
December 3, 2014 — 12:14 PM
Erika says:
Wow Chuck you post so much about not being racist, not being sexist, not being bigoted, transphobic, homophobic, etc. But it’s okay to disrespect the most sacred symbol of my religion? I know you’re just having fun but it really is disrespectful and you just might lose me as a long time fan and follower. The respect of other people should also include their religion. Would you mock Muslims or Jews or Wiccans like this or is it just Christians who deserve it? This made my stomach turn. I can just imagine the hateful stuff that will be created in this contest.
December 3, 2014 — 1:56 PM
Merthas Malkir says:
Um… Sorry, New here and all, but I don’t believe he means to offend anyone. To be completely honest, Christmas itself is a load of bull. The significance of it was more so to convert pagans over to christianity, when they would typically celebrate the yuletide festival, which was essentially an excuse to drink and have orgies. And well, who does.t like drinking and orgies, particularly when everyone else is dieing of this plague or that. Christmas was the churches excuse to bring people back, and bring in more, as if trying to act like that kid who wants to fit in and be cool. In truth, historians have found more evidence showing Christ was born around June and July, based off of when Caesar Augustus had the census issued. Also, most nativities depict a white family, which we also know to be false, as well, there arent white people in the middle east. Finally, having the wisemen in scenes is also inaccurate, as they did not arrive until Christ was between two and four, and Joseph had a house in which they lived. And before you try any faith based accusations, I am a minister of Christianity. Please have a blessed holiday season.
December 4, 2014 — 4:54 AM
JohnStriderofDoom says:
Seeming as many Christians are currently using borrowed traditions from pagans and other religions (ie- “Christmas” trees and Easter Bunnies) for their own purposes, I see nothing wrong with Chuck’s grand idea. You of course have the same respect for those other religions, correct? I think the holidays are more for joy among friends and family than picking nits….
December 4, 2014 — 10:00 AM
Jennifer says:
Erika,
Perhaps you could look on it as a comment on the gross commercialism of Christmas and not a comment about how Christ is gross.
December 3, 2014 — 5:41 PM
brdubard says:
Exactly.
December 5, 2014 — 7:18 AM
Rio says:
Finally, a use for all of my Pokemon and dragon toys.
December 3, 2014 — 6:41 PM
Lisa says:
I know I’m joining a serious minority here, but this makes me a bit sad too. I make it a point to be a Christian in the true sense of the word, and I respect everyone for what they believe, who they love, how they worship (or choose not to) and whatever their nationality, race or gender (born that way or not) may be. I’d love to win all those cool things, but I won’t poke fun of a nativity scene to do it, any more than I would poke fun of the symbols of anyone else’s religion. It’s tough to set a good example of respect for all of humankind, with all its diversity, and then stay silent when my own beliefs are mocked, and somehow that seems to be okay. You haven’t lost me, Chuck, because I think you’re awesome. I just had to say that I’m bummed.
December 3, 2014 — 7:03 PM
brucearthurs says:
Though I’m not a Christian myself, and I normally worship at the Church of Snark, I have to admit I feel more comfortable looking at a Google Images page for “Geek Christmas Tree” than I do the page for “Weird Nativity Scenes”.
December 4, 2014 — 6:01 AM
Tony McFadden says:
My youngest is 20. Christmas has been boring (no grandkids yet).
No longer. This is now a thing…
December 4, 2014 — 6:42 AM
Suzy M Ince says:
There’s room for both Nativity and Nerdtivity in my world. I can’t wait to get started!!!
December 4, 2014 — 1:10 PM
milkaholicclown says:
I wish people would do a little more research before rationalizing their butt hurt.The whole god-head Jesus nativity archetype thing comes from much more ancient religions — Isis, Osiris and Horus. The Christmas holiday comes from the pagan festival Yule… and is the winter solstice.. the idea of it being “Jesus’ birthday” is relatively new.
Here’s a cool article thingy I just found that touches on the topic: http://www.stellarhousepublishing.com/luxor.html
December 4, 2014 — 2:08 PM
gonzalezcaa says:
The (much disputed, definitely inaccurate) argument that BLARG CHRISTIANS ARE DUMB POST PAGANS OBVIOUSLY LOLZ doesn’t negate the fact that people are hurt. This is about respecting people. The point that is being made is that this contest is hypocritical because whereas race, gender, sexuality, nationality, political leaning, etc are off limits, religion is totally fine to make fun of because, hey, if you believe in fairy tales or in something I don’t also believe in I should be able to ridicule you, right?
It doesn’t matter where the belief developed from. No one would argue that all Christian (Muslim, Jewish, Hindu, etc.) holidays came fully developed with the founding of their religion. But here, today, a deeply personally, beloved, and important symbol is being ripped to pieces for fun, and Christians are supposed to watch and not say anything because, you know, at least we’re not making fun of a serious belief, amiright?
Unfair is unfair. It just needs to be said.
December 4, 2014 — 2:36 PM
milkaholicclown says:
As far as I know the individuals running this contest are probably from christian traditions. Hey, I’m a WASP myself.. at least I was born to be one… and I thumped the good old tome for 26 years. The vast majority of Americans were born into some denomination of xtianity. Can [insert race or religion] people make fun of their own culture without other [insert race or religion] people becoming offended?
How is race/politics/gender etc off limits on this website? I haven’t been a follower for as long as you it seems, but just over the last 3-4 months there have been topics and debates addressing each of those topics that you say are “off limits.”
At any rate, I can feel your disappointment that you have to skip this one, and I hope another chance to win something comes up soon for you.
December 4, 2014 — 4:35 PM
Rio says:
Hm, now you understand how it feels to be a non-Christian in a country dominated by Christian propaganda and hate groups.
December 4, 2014 — 5:51 PM
gonzalezcaa says:
To be fair, Chuck, I know that you are very clear about your blog being NSFW and even NSFL, so people being hurt or offended by the Nerdtivity deal is probably surprising to you. But calling out disrespect as disrespect doesn’t make it not disrespect. In a recent blog (don’t know how to hyperlink on this but it’s the Finish Your Shit one) a commenter was offended by what they interpreted as sexual violence in your writing, something you never intended to imply. But, you acknowledged it, edited your blog to remove the connotation, and moved on.
So it will be interesting to see what you decide to do here, with people (who follow you, try to emulate you, and possibly buy stuff from you) telling you they’re offended by this. You don’t have to be politically correct to also not be dismissive of an entire portion of your fans and followers.
December 4, 2014 — 2:52 PM
terribleminds says:
Our response awaits:
http://terribleminds.com/ramble/2014/12/04/a-statement-on-the-nerdtivity-contest/
December 4, 2014 — 9:30 PM
Pete says:
Nice. It’s sad to know that despite your anti prejudice banter you still think there are groups of people it’s ok to ignore, offend, and dismiss even though they (read: I) buy your books, share your posts on their various social media, and recommend you to people. Way cool. Well have fun with the contest.
December 4, 2014 — 10:23 PM
Carolina Mac says:
I want that lunch pail. Just say’n.
December 4, 2014 — 3:09 PM
Chryse says:
What time zone? Because really. It matters.
December 4, 2014 — 8:44 PM
terribleminds says:
EST!
December 4, 2014 — 8:46 PM
Michael Healy (@MichaelHealy18) says:
I attempted to make a manger our of books. They aren’t very structurally sound. I’ve still got time to work out the design though.
December 4, 2014 — 9:50 PM
Mary Ellen Warren says:
This activity is no different than the times when my kids were little and they would spend hours re-arranging the figures and adding all of their “Little People” characters into the scene. In fact, Fisher-Price has a nativity set available. Really, how is that different? If you are offended, don’t participate. Personally, I love it and can’t wait to see what folks do. It’s harmless. Get over it.
December 4, 2014 — 10:16 PM
Brandon O'Brien says:
Here’s mine (with a hastily constructed Lego manger): http://wickedflagon.wordpress.com/2014/12/05/the-kevin-and-chuck-want-you-to-make-a-nerdtivity-contest/
December 5, 2014 — 12:38 AM
hamnerd says:
Chuck, you should have a menorah building contest next year (or maybe this year. Chanukah is coming up soon.) I will not be in the least bit offended. I am a practicing Jew and I would appreciate the humor of it. We Jews do have great senses or humor.
I’m really shocked at the folks taking offense at this nerdtivity contest, I think it’s great! But maybe it’s because don’t have an attachment to Christian religious symbols or Christmas itself.
December 5, 2014 — 1:29 AM
hamnerd says:
Ugh. And I can’t spell today. Look at all the errors!
December 5, 2014 — 1:31 AM
matthewstott says:
Huh, surprised (and not surprised) to see some negativity about this in here. It’s just harmless, silly fun.
December 5, 2014 — 8:39 AM
susielindau says:
You are all going straight to hell… KIDDING!
I might have to search through my kid’s old toys and have some fun.
December 5, 2014 — 9:53 AM
Heidi says:
Erika,
I am a rather strict Christian woman of near 60 years, with two adult children. I do not find nerdtivities offensive. In fact, as I made my own, I thought it could be a great activity at Sunday School. I was so eager to place the figures and in so doing, we talked about who was at the birth of Jesus. It was also a great talking point with non-Christian guests. I hope you are able to consider this alternative perspective.
Also, I do agree with you that Christmas is waaaay too commercial.
December 12, 2014 — 3:32 PM
Casondra Brewster says:
Woot! Made the deadline!
December 14, 2014 — 8:58 PM
Lynne Wardrop says:
Darn. We did a nerdivity. We both missed t he deadline and cannot find the email to send it to.
December 15, 2014 — 10:11 AM
Jesica Jonas says:
I am completely losing my mind over here while (im-)patiently waiting to hear about winners on this….
December 17, 2014 — 1:47 PM
terribleminds says:
It posted today, Jessica!
December 17, 2014 — 2:48 PM
Jesica Jonas says:
Just saw that, thanks!
December 17, 2014 — 3:06 PM
tambra nicole says:
Can’t find the winners post. Can someone help me out? Thanks!
December 22, 2014 — 2:05 AM