HA HA HA HA
WHEE
pyoo pyoo
THAT RACCOON HAS A GUN AND A HEART
I AM GROOT
I am full of joy
I haven’t had this much fun going to the movies since I don’t know when
YOU’RE ON NOTICE, STAR WARS EPISODE SEVEN
Except this isn’t really like Star Wars at all despite the comparisons
This is more like THE LAST STARFIGHTER or ICE PIRATES
HA HA HA DICK MESSAGE
Hey is that really Sean Gunn from Gilmore Girls?
Oh, dang, he’s related to the director, isn’t he?
The music! THE MUSIC.
Music is so essential!
I have earworms giddily chewing into my brain!
WE MUST BE LIKE KEVIN BACON AND SAVE THE WORLD WITH DANCE
Hey, is that Lee Pace from Wonderfalls and Pushing Daisies?
Is that — is that Simon Pegg in an eyepatch?
Wait, no, I don’t think that’s Simon Pegg.
(But Rob Zombie is in this movie?)
This movie is entirely uncynical
It doesn’t have an iota of darkness or grimdarkness in its silly heart
It’s actually sweet!
AHH I WANT MY SON TO SEE THIS SOME DAY BECAUSE WHIZZ BANG FUN ZOOM
Oh Chris Pratt you’re the best and you used to be doughy and you give us all hope
I want to play in this roleplaying game like not a video game but with dice and character sheets and OOH OOH CAN I PLAY THE TECHIE RACCOON WITH A CHIP ON HIS SHOULDER
okay maybe some tiny complaints like jeez Marvel sure is in love with this whole Macguffin magical shiny glowy stones and objects bullshit, and hey maybe women could get a better break in these movies instead of the white guy always being the day-saver
and the post credits sequence uhhh wut
BUT AHHHH
FUN
JOY
LAUGHING TIMES
*clap clap clap*
This is why Jesus and George Lucas invented toys!
*gobbles down all the movie merchandising*
BOOM
BOOSH
3D OH SNAP IT’S FLYING RIGHT AT MY FACE
IMAX IS PRETTY COOL BUT I HAD TO TAKE OUT A HOME EQUITY LOAN FOR THE TICKET
WHATEVER WOOOOOOOOOO
*whistles up a floating spear*
*buys self a Walkman*
SHUT UP I’M NOT CRYING
*dances*
Lasers!
WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE JESUS GOD CRAP STOP READING THIS AND GO SEE IT
*vibrates until cosmic microscopic dispersal*
(no raccoons or tree people were harmed during the making of this movie)
terribleminds says:
I should note that I’d hope folks won’t spoil the movie here in the comments.
Though, I should also note I won’t be watching this like a hawk and so — things may get spoiled accidentally or on purpose so HERE THERE BE DRAGONS.
August 3, 2014 — 2:15 PM
Melinda VanLone says:
Where, oh where is the dancing potted Groot on sale? I must have it. Now! Now, I said. Right. This. Minute.
I swear you and I had the exact same reactions LOL. That movie is pure awesome with YEAH! sauce.
August 3, 2014 — 2:16 PM
Kit says:
Melinda I’m with you on the dancing potted Groot! I told my husband that if they make any and they’re out before Christmas I WANT one. That was just too adorable for words.
August 4, 2014 — 12:20 AM
Jesse says:
It’s not dancing, but:
https://www.etsy.com/listing/198620623/baby-groot-in-plant-pot-i-am-groot
August 4, 2014 — 4:51 PM
Sharon Joss says:
I….I’m hooked on a feelin’…
August 3, 2014 — 2:17 PM
John Kennedy says:
Best movie of the year. I’ve seen it twice already.
August 3, 2014 — 2:20 PM
Paula says:
So much fun… I LOVED IT!! Soundtrack downloaded and on repeat.
August 3, 2014 — 2:23 PM
Paul Barrett says:
Jackson Pollock painting
August 3, 2014 — 2:30 PM
Gerry says:
Right after most everyone laughed at that line, a whiny valley girl next to me said out loud (for everyone to hear) “I don’t get it” It got more laughs than the first line =)
August 4, 2014 — 2:50 PM
Terri says:
That is outstanding. There were a couple of times where I was the only one laughing because I got it and the teen-angst-ridden-pseudo-nerds didn’t.
August 4, 2014 — 10:55 PM
Craig Forsyth says:
Outstanding film. I have no gripes whatsoever as I’m able to consume without dissecting. Yes, that makes me a marketing executive’s wet dream.
August 3, 2014 — 2:32 PM
lurvleroos says:
Agreed wholeheartedly on this critique.
Though I have to take a minor exception – it isn’t JUST the white guy saving the world. *zips lip*
And shame shame to those who are not-quite spoiling so many excellent quotes! There’s one Rocket one I want to share but ngggghhhrrs!
Everyone was awesome, but I have to say – Bradley Cooper did an extraordinary job. If I didn’t already know it was him I’d have never recognized him.
August 3, 2014 — 2:33 PM
tambo says:
It’s simply DELIGHTFUL. 🙂
August 3, 2014 — 2:40 PM
Tee Morris says:
I want this to happen….an Avengers/Guardians mash-up so we hear this.
TONY STARK: That Quill guy. All the wise-cracks? It’s impossible to have a conversation with him.
STEVE ROGERS: …
TONY: I mean, it just gets old quickly.
STEVE: Kinda grates on your last nerve, doesn’t it?
TONY: Like you wouldn’t believe, Cap.
STEVE: Try me.
I heard a reviewer describe it as Marvel’s mash-up of Firefly and Farscape, and yeah, I saw that.
Full of win, this is. Not my FAVORITE Marvel film…but definitely the most fun. 🙂
August 3, 2014 — 2:48 PM
Leslie says:
It will be mine when it comes out on DVD it was so full of awesome!
August 3, 2014 — 2:58 PM
Chris Bell says:
I play in a Doctor Who: Adventures in Time and Space PBP over at RPOL, and GOD DAMMIT QUILL YOU STOLE THOSE DANCE MOVES FROM THE TRAVELLER, I SO WANT TO PLAY YOU IN MARVEL HEROIC NOWWWWWWW USE “DANCE” as a D8 RESOURCE NOWWWW! 😉
August 3, 2014 — 3:03 PM
N. A. Ulrich says:
Read this just after I got out of the cinema. Couldn’t agree more honestly
August 3, 2014 — 3:08 PM
Joan Buffandeau says:
Saw the movie yesterday and enjoyed every minute of it. The music is awesome. I plan on seeing it again.
August 3, 2014 — 3:11 PM
Kastil says:
I saw it twice already … slacker.
August 3, 2014 — 3:16 PM
Cheryl M. says:
About died laughing at this because it is SO TRUE. omg, during the movie my brain was so engaged in the OMGWTFTHISISSOFUNKEVINBACONDANCEDANCEHEYTHATSNATHANFILLIONTHISISSOCOOL ramblings that I think I forgot how to speak english afterwards. You nailed our reactions Chuck.
August 3, 2014 — 3:20 PM
Robert Alterman says:
Loved ot
August 3, 2014 — 3:21 PM
Vicki Gael says:
Saw it last night an absolutely loved it!!! Definitely the most fun I’ve had at a movie theater in ages and well worth the money for once. Didn’t think about it last night but, yeah, Firefly and Farscape feel for sure. Jackson Pollock…now there’s some mental imagery for ya. Ooo! Ooo! I want a potted Groot, too!
August 3, 2014 — 3:25 PM
ajsinnz says:
I did like the movie quite the lot, but I can’t call it the best Marvel movie ever. I mean, it barely felt like a Marvel movie to me. Of course I realize I’m not nearly as familiar w/ these characters as I am w/ the characters from previous Marvel flicks. I also take issue w/ Gamora’s look. Zoe was awesome, as expected, but her make up? Why? Was her look from the books too hard to recreate? I mean they made the raccoon and the tree believable! They couldn’t get her make up right? *sigh*
Oh and, in my opinion, Groot stole the show. Who woulda thunk it?!?
August 3, 2014 — 3:26 PM
Groot says:
I *AM* Groot.
August 7, 2014 — 7:29 AM
Todd Moody says:
Less than an hour from having my soul rejuvenated. Can’t wait!
August 3, 2014 — 3:34 PM
leedunning says:
Thank you, Chuck. That’s the only review I need to read. I’m heading out the door and gonna see a movie!
August 3, 2014 — 4:09 PM
lpon45 says:
It was as if we were sitting side by side in the theater: you captured my reactions completely! (Now, who sells solar-powered Baby Groot dancing flowerpots for my dashboard?)
August 3, 2014 — 4:28 PM
eporter70 says:
LOL–spot on review! And I’m going to throw out comparisons to Raiders of the Lost Ark, and a 1999-2003 SYFY show called “Farscape” with puppets instead of CGI and boy meets girl, girl kicks boys ass and they all go to jail (smaller scale jail of course) type of vibe.
Loved it!
August 3, 2014 — 4:41 PM
Terri says:
Add in Star Wars, Star Trek, Babylon 5, Blade Runner, and The Right Stuff.
August 4, 2014 — 11:00 PM
Honey Apostos says:
I almost didn’t read this because I did not want anything to spoil the experience when I got to the theater. I’m even more ready to go now. (Checking movie listings)
August 3, 2014 — 4:44 PM
Amy Eyrie says:
Best review EVER!
August 3, 2014 — 5:32 PM
Charley Descoteaux says:
Exactly! 😀
August 3, 2014 — 5:45 PM
Chris Bell says:
All I know is that a central role for all of these characters is now required in Avengers 2. Stark, step aside!
August 3, 2014 — 5:50 PM
Christopher Qualls says:
(no raccoons or tree people were harmed during the making of this movie) – one of the better lines in the credits. 🙂
I used to read the Guardians of the Galaxy comics when I was a teen, and I had my doubts that this crew of Guardians would replace the modified humans and aliens that made up that crew, but they did in spades! Really tempted to see the movie again.
August 3, 2014 — 6:07 PM
Katie Doyle says:
I want a shirt that says LET’S BE KEVIN BACON.
Saw it yesterday and I’m dying to see it again!
Right on the spot with the review!
August 3, 2014 — 9:13 PM
ce_murphy says:
I MUST HAVE THIS T-SHIRT TOO
August 4, 2014 — 7:54 PM
Josh Loomis says:
I too must have this t-shirt.
August 5, 2014 — 8:39 AM
Brandon Carbaugh says:
The end-credits reveal (Howard the Duck) is like a “HOLY SHIT, *WHAT*” moment if you know/like that character. A summary of Howard is: “A normal guy, who happens to be from a planet where the people are ducks.” His comics are about him, like, coming to earth and struggling to find a job and fighting to make rent while people gawk at him (or try to murder him) because he’s a talking anthropomorphic duck. Think “Ted”, but less raunchy, with some sci-fi comic-book stuff strewn about, and WAY more satirical.
It’s a bit of a gobsmack, because it’s like Marvel has now gone, “Okay, so now we’ve established you’ll buy a talking animal fighting supervillains in space — will you buy a talking animal that’s NOT doing any of that? WE’RE GONNA FIND OUT, BITCH, WE’RE ON A 10+ MOVIE WINNING-STREAK, WE CAN DO WHATEVER WE WANT”
August 3, 2014 — 9:13 PM
Jen Dornan-Fish says:
I cried thrice. Please, more like this but maybe more ladies. Also, GROOOOOOOOOT!
August 3, 2014 — 9:58 PM
Mariselle says:
I must have a tshirt with the dick message quote. MUST. Best review EVAH.
August 3, 2014 — 9:58 PM
Charlie Martin says:
Other than that, did you like it?
August 3, 2014 — 11:38 PM
UrsulaV says:
It was the Fifth Element with talking raccoons!
I also find it vaguely surreal that Vin Diesel was in a movie but NOT in the Large Angry Bald Man role. (I am quite fond of this role.)
August 3, 2014 — 11:41 PM
Christopher Robin Negelein says:
Too late, I already saw it. My advice to fellow villains facing off with the GotG?
Spoilers
Spoilers
Spoilers.
Stop monologuing.
August 4, 2014 — 12:29 AM
A Citizen of the World says:
The cinema I went to was full of kids and at the end, they APPLAUDED and were chanting “I am Groot! I am Groot! I am Groot!” while everyone was exiting the theatre.
In short: an AWESOME movie full of rockin’ retro music and cheesy dialogue so bad it’s goooooooood!
August 4, 2014 — 7:37 AM
Chelsea says:
this is definitely an accurate description of the movie. so fun. so good. and the music! wee!
August 4, 2014 — 11:02 AM
Darke Conteur says:
I wonder if Vin Deisel can dance like Groot in real life.
August 4, 2014 — 11:38 AM
mikes75 says:
This might answer the question (On the right):
August 5, 2014 — 9:40 AM
Amy says:
I am embarrassed to say that I had never heard of this movie until Saturday when apparently everyone in the known universe went to it and then blogged/posted/tweeted/instagrammed/pinned/etc about it. This was really the only review that made me want to go see it myself, though. I mean I won’t, because movies involve sitting in theaters which, in case you didn’t know, often involve being in the vicinity of strangers, but I will definitely watch this on Netflix someday. I also wish that all movie reviews were done in this style.
August 4, 2014 — 1:10 PM
M. Hutfles says:
The Platonic ideal of a summer time popcorn movie.
Wanna role your dice & groove like this, let me recommend Bulldogs RPG: http://rpg.drivethrustuff.com/product/93603/Bulldogs
We almost went home and rolled dice after seeing it that night. Totally has the same goofy fun feeling with the right group.
August 4, 2014 — 8:03 PM
Vee says:
I couldn’t stop dancing to “Cherry Bomb” ever since I saw this movie.
August 4, 2014 — 10:22 PM
Terri says:
My new tag line is “You’re making me beat up grass!”
I am still deep in nerd-vana, not a single nerd-culture stone was left unturned.
August 4, 2014 — 10:58 PM
Andy says:
I’ll never get this… How are “white guys” the opposite of “women?” There’s a whole adjective in there. Oh, right, white guys isn’t a description, it’s a pejorative. That explains it.
August 5, 2014 — 3:09 AM
Josh Loomis says:
Ye Gods, this movie. I’ve seen it twice, and I loved it both times.
Regarding what you said about the white guy always being the hero: while he came up with the plan (well, 12% of a plan) and initially made the day-saving grab, he wouldn’t have survived without his friends. And the first one to help save him was Gamora. I honestly think that dynamic worked out rather well.
August 5, 2014 — 8:38 AM