Last week’s challenge: Must Contain This Sentence.
At Buzzfeed (yeah, I know):
50 Completely Unexplainable Stock Photos No One Will Ever Use.
Except, we’re gonna use ’em.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
You’re going to pick one of these photos.
And you’re going to write 1000 words of flash fiction using that photo as inspiration.
Tell us which photo (by number) you’re using when you link to your story below.
Due by May 30th, Friday, noon EST.
Go forth and get weird.
boydstun215 says:
Did a random number generator and got 35: Bread Hat . . .
Oh dear . . . the imagination will require some (*ahem*) serious kneading for this one.
May 15, 2014 — 10:41 PM
Mark Gardner says:
Kneading… *snort*
May 15, 2014 — 11:39 PM
Mark Gardner says:
Oh yeah! I can’t wait to participate this week.
May 15, 2014 — 11:31 PM
Mark Gardner says:
I did #2. I decided to step it up a notch and do this flash only using dialogue. Check it out at 1000 words:
http://article94.wordpress.com/2014/05/17/forbidden-romance/
May 17, 2014 — 1:38 PM
epbeaumont says:
Dialogue-only: awesome. Adding this too the portfolio of challenges.
May 20, 2014 — 9:17 PM
Mozette says:
Oh! some fun ones here… 😀 After being out today, I’m looking forward to working on this; seeing it’s just begun to rain. 😀
May 16, 2014 — 2:10 AM
Mozette says:
Okay… It’s #37! The two tv’s having lunch… 😀
http://youcantgoback-andotherimpossibilities.blogspot.com.au/2014/05/lunch-at-2pm.html
May 16, 2014 — 2:49 AM
Mr Urban Spaceman says:
Haha, very droll! I can’t believe you actually made TV maintenance sound kinky. I might actually be scarred for life…
May 16, 2014 — 7:01 AM
Mozette says:
Bwahahahahaaaaa! I’m sorry to scar you! But then, again, it only started out as a lunch date between two televisions… and then, turned into something else…
You know I could have done some really bad porn with that photo and scarred everyone for life! Or worse still, have Blogger cancel my account 😛
May 16, 2014 — 7:23 AM
Mark Gardner says:
You know you’re not sorry for scarring the space man.
May 17, 2014 — 1:39 PM
Mr Urban Spaceman says:
Very true, Mark, she’s a bad, bad lady.
Am I ever glad you didn’t go with ‘Fat Santa Pinching His Nipples’ *shudder*
May 17, 2014 — 2:21 PM
Mozette says:
hehheheheee… you guys should know me by my writing style by now… 😛
May 18, 2014 — 7:44 AM
Alex says:
That was great! Also I now know why my television gets so dusty…
May 16, 2014 — 11:26 AM
Mozette says:
Thanks! I just went with what the picture gave me and let the characters tell me the story… no matter how weird it kinda… um… got. 😛
May 16, 2014 — 8:03 PM
epbeaumont says:
I didn’t think that anything could exceed the, er, retro flavor of the original image. But you done it … along with salacious suggestions about the secret lives of electronic devices.
May 20, 2014 — 9:21 PM
Mozette says:
Hahaa… thank you… 😀 I kinda thought about how ‘The Adventures of Amelia Jane’ was written – where the toys had lives of their own when the humans turned their backs, and wondered that about appliances. 🙂
The rest kinda wrote itself; kinky stuff and all. 😉
May 21, 2014 — 9:11 AM
angelacavanaugh says:
#43 is in a Geico commercial.
May 16, 2014 — 3:20 AM
Katherine Hetzel says:
What is it with the sweetcorn?
May 16, 2014 — 3:53 AM
epbeaumont says:
My conjecture is that cyber-lady and the corn are actually siblings. The corn is the larval form.
May 21, 2014 — 12:11 PM
angelacavanaugh says:
I was going to use a random number generator. But #2 just jumped out at me, and I had to use it. I give you: Dumb Love
http://angelacavanaugh.wordpress.com/2014/05/16/flash-fiction-friday-dumb-love/
May 16, 2014 — 3:59 AM
boydstun215 says:
What a great story! By the end my heart was breaking for those crash test dummies 🙁
May 16, 2014 — 5:04 AM
Alex says:
That was so heart-wrenching!
May 16, 2014 — 9:10 AM
Mark Gardner says:
Sensor-wrenching?
May 17, 2014 — 1:49 PM
Mark Gardner says:
Whoa! It’s creepy how similar our stories are! Great minds? Or the logical story…
May 17, 2014 — 1:48 PM
epbeaumont says:
And I was complaining about my (now-ex) Day Job… Wow, I like your take on this (kind of like the endless wheel of reincarnation)… and the brief moments of respite between crashes, which is where real life happens.
May 21, 2014 — 12:15 PM
Mr Urban Spaceman says:
RNG gave me #47 – A luchador enjoying his first vacation in several years.
The Man Behind The Mask: http://mrurbanspaceman.wordpress.com/2014/05/16/the-man-behind-the-mask-a-flash-fiction-piece/
May 16, 2014 — 6:50 AM
Mark Gardner says:
Awesome sauce! This flash is straight-up. Good job!
May 17, 2014 — 2:03 PM
Mark Baron says:
That was pure awesome. I loved it – intriguing, enticing me to keep reading, and leaving me on a cliffhanger wanting more. Awesome, awesome job.
May 19, 2014 — 3:24 PM
epbeaumont says:
Cliffhangers of this magnitude are illegal in at least 20 states. Great stuff!
May 20, 2014 — 9:11 PM
Mr Urban Spaceman says:
Thank you! If I ever find myself in the US, I will attempt to avoid said states 😛
May 22, 2014 — 4:06 AM
epbeaumont says:
They tend to ban other fun stuff too, so definitely need to be on any author’s travel advisory. 🙂
May 22, 2014 — 9:09 AM
Mark Gardner says:
I continued your story at http://article94.wordpress.com/2014/05/25/masks/
May 25, 2014 — 6:26 PM
Emily says:
Haha, 20 and 43 made me laugh so hard. I’m not sure I’m cut out to do any of these though….
May 16, 2014 — 7:39 AM
Pavowski says:
Nice. Will get right on this one.
May 16, 2014 — 8:24 AM
Pavowski says:
Got it.
I picked #16, the woman with the gun and the watermelon. What can I say, it called to me. Maybe something about smuggling watermelons since my wife is super pregnant.
I also riffed off a challenge from several weeks back: SomethingPunk, for which I wrote the story “Borrowed Time”. This one’s more fun, less depressing: FruitPunk.
“Seeds of Insurgence” (I apologize) is here: http://pavorisms.wordpress.com/2014/05/16/seeds-of-insurgence/
May 16, 2014 — 9:05 PM
Mark Gardner says:
I’m totally stealing some of this…
May 17, 2014 — 2:08 PM
Helen Espinosa says:
Great story. Your writing is engaging and keeps me hooked.
May 17, 2014 — 2:17 PM
Mark Baron says:
I love how you build this strange, fruit-forbidding world in so few words. While I find myself wondering why the world has gone so mad, I simultaneously *don’t* question that its for some very good (or very bad, as the case may be) reason. Excellent job here, my friend!
May 19, 2014 — 3:30 PM
epbeaumont says:
WHOA. I knew that worlds of weird had to be lurking behind that picture, but no fish nibbled on my line. Apparently that’s cause they were all mobbing your muse-bait. Wonderfully weird and hilariously dystopic, if that’s even possible.
May 20, 2014 — 9:29 PM
Alex says:
#23 is even better than ‘women laughing alone with salad’!
I chose #16 (the woman defending the fruit she loves):
http://justafeverdream.wordpress.com/2014/05/16/i-am-not-carrying-a-watermelon/
(It might have got a tiny bit silly).
May 16, 2014 — 8:56 AM
Mozette says:
Oh! I love it! Very ‘The Coneheads’ … no matter how much it tries to mix in, it doesn’t and even when it does, it can’t. 😛
May 16, 2014 — 9:20 AM
Alex says:
Poor thing just has no clue!
I must confess that I’ve never seen The Coneheads. Is it worth a look?
May 16, 2014 — 11:29 AM
Mozette says:
Oh yes! Dan Achroyd is just hilarious in it! And the guy who plays Dixon from King of Queens is in it too! 😀 My folks hadn’t seen the movie not until this year and they thought it was the funniest thing they’d ever seen! 😀
And one of our charities use the Coneheads picture to promote the Life Line Bookfest… with the logo: ‘Don’t be a Conehead, go to the Life Line Bookfest!’ 😛
And it works! 😀
May 16, 2014 — 8:06 PM
Alex says:
I’ll keep an eye out for it :-).
May 17, 2014 — 1:59 PM
Mark Gardner says:
I was thinking more “Men in Black” than “Coneheads.”
May 17, 2014 — 2:13 PM
Alex says:
I understood that reference!
May 19, 2014 — 9:40 AM
JP Juniper says:
Love this. Love the voice. Bewildered tentacled space monsters are the best tentacled space monsters.
May 16, 2014 — 12:46 PM
Alex says:
Thank you! It was fun to write :-).
May 17, 2014 — 1:21 PM
inkoherent says:
There are so many little gems in such a short piece. My favourite: “Except for these things stuck to my chest which are attracting more attention than I expected but I’ve given up trying to understand humans. If they’re for feeding your young, why is it that the people who stare at them are full-grown?” Marvellous!
May 16, 2014 — 10:06 PM
Alex says:
Thanks! I couldn’t resist that one ;-).
May 17, 2014 — 1:25 PM
epbeaumont says:
I could not breathe. By this I mean that it was a damned good idea to read this after dinner, or my writing-and-dining partner would have had to deploy her Mad Heimlich Skillz. All of the abdominals involved in maniacal-but-suppressed hilarity are very sore now, and I cannot tell you which the funny bits were, because, hey, the text is available above and there’s no point in my retyping the whole dang thing.
THAT GOOD.
May 20, 2014 — 9:36 PM
Alex says:
Thank you so much! 🙂
May 21, 2014 — 8:53 AM
sonyaleigh85 says:
First time doing the challenge, I did picture 36. Here’s the link http://sonyaleigh85.wordpress.com/2014/05/16/flash-fiction-challange/
May 16, 2014 — 9:25 AM
Mark Gardner says:
Great Job! Definitely a strong start.
May 17, 2014 — 2:18 PM
epbeaumont says:
Seriously creeptastic — I would have gone for comedy, and you went ninety degrees away. AWESOME start. Keep on keeping on.
May 20, 2014 — 9:42 PM
Southpaw says:
GoOOly, but there are some freaky pictures in that bunch!
May 16, 2014 — 9:48 AM
CindySheaNH says:
I think I’m going to have nightmares!
May 16, 2014 — 11:00 AM
Laura Quirola says:
31. A Businesswomen enjoying a boxing glove massage.
Just… What?!
Some of these (read: most of these) are seriously disturbing. I’m dying to know the context behind “Hey, I think this would make a great photo!”
May 16, 2014 — 12:12 PM
epbeaumont says:
I know. That one in particular has so much squicky subtext I’m not sure I even want to think about it.
May 21, 2014 — 12:17 PM
JP Juniper says:
#22, with a (faster than a speeding) bullet. I would put a warning on this about all of the swearing, but … yeah. Probably not needed. So I’ll just say, the way I see it, maybe the apple thinks it is trying to bite the pig, but the truth is, the pig has just picked the perfect position from which to break the apple’s teeth.
http://jpjuniper.com/nyc-heros-foulmouthed-rantcaught-on-tape
May 16, 2014 — 12:52 PM
inkoherent says:
Ha! That was fabulous! I loved how you took the elements of the photo and just went with the crazy.
May 16, 2014 — 9:58 PM
JP Juniper says:
Thank you! Beth came totally out of nowhere and now just will not stop punching me in the face. In a good way. Except I really don’t have time right now to give her the 80,000 words she’s asking for. It is hard to say no to someone who can drop you off of a mountain any time she feels like it.
May 17, 2014 — 9:06 AM
epbeaumont says:
I disagree. Every effen bit of the cussin is artistically necessary. The laughing muscles are getting a serious workout tonight.
May 20, 2014 — 9:52 PM
epbeaumont says:
Addendum the next morning: I would so read an 80K-word novel with this character. I know I’m aiding and abetting, but seriously, WANT.
May 21, 2014 — 12:10 PM
JP Juniper says:
No no no, don’t encourage her! She’s already like, Hey, you’re almost done drafting that novella. Probably you’ll need a break from the whole sword and sorcery and ghosts thing after that. Freshen up a bit! C’mon, it’ll be fun. Have I mentioned that the book starts with me practically up in space because … oh, you don’t want to know, right? Because you have “other things” to do first. Nevermind….
And I’m like, Beth, stop itttttttttt
And then she punches me in the face again. Ow.
(But seriously, thank you!)
May 22, 2014 — 10:39 AM
Mark Baron says:
I’ll take 42, because life, the universe, and everything…story coming soon…
May 16, 2014 — 3:06 PM
Mark Baron says:
Gah! That was crazy hard! Here’s my attempt! http://wp.me/p4AFse-42
May 18, 2014 — 12:48 AM
epbeaumont says:
OK, the stand-alone line about the bunny hood got me laughing, though I was starting to smirk a bit at cabbages = decapitated heads. (Yes, there is something wrong with the humor center of my brain. It’s shaped a bit like a mobius strip.)
I generally start from the picture and repaint it … well, you’ll see what I mean when you read ‘Abacus Music.’
May 20, 2014 — 9:58 PM
Mark Baron says:
I can’t wait to read it! 🙂
May 20, 2014 — 9:59 PM
T. Jane Berry says:
You do a great service for us, Chuck. Whenever I can’t muster the discipline to work on my existing projects, I can always count on a Terrible Minds prompt to get me writing.
I chose photo #2 of the crash-test dummies:
http://blog.tjaneberry.com/2014/05/flash-fiction-crash-test.html
May 16, 2014 — 3:30 PM
epbeaumont says:
Wow. Just wow. One thing piled on another, and the finale was stunning. I didn’t know why she was feeling desperate, but rolled with it because I wanted to find out what happened next.
May 22, 2014 — 9:40 AM
angel011 says:
So very sweet.
May 23, 2014 — 12:30 PM
inkoherent says:
I chose photo #27 – Mona Lisa tongue tats
Johnny Gets A Tattoo
http://inkoherent.wordpress.com/2014/05/17/johnny-gets-a-tattoo/
Thanks Chuck, these challenges are awesome.
May 16, 2014 — 9:50 PM
epbeaumont says:
Methinks this is what the younguns mean when they talk about ‘body horror’ but the escalation (Richter scale of fuckedupedness) got me laughing. Profound, skin-crawlingly kinesthetic sensation of WRONG WRONG WRONG and laughing just makes the knife go in deeper.
May 24, 2014 — 9:56 PM
Helen Espinosa says:
Here goes. My first time doing this instead of watching from the sidelines. I used #26 and the title: The Pineapple Peddler
http://helenespinosa.wordpress.com/2014/05/16/the-pineapple-peddler/
I hope you all enjoy. I had fun with this one.
May 16, 2014 — 10:18 PM
epbeaumont says:
Nasty nasty people and a nasty place … well kind of goes with the photograph. But you gave it a sensory kick that made it lodge firmly in my memory. ARGH … er, well played.
May 24, 2014 — 9:52 PM
chriswhitewrites says:
20. How could go passed She-Hitler with a potato crotch?
May 16, 2014 — 10:34 PM
chriswhitewrites says:
Way too short, so I’m going to do another one…
My piece An Alternate Reality is more of a vignette than a story.
I could have written more, but the image was too much.
May 17, 2014 — 2:02 AM
chriswhitewrites says:
Here we go, a second one: Mr July, for number 38, Mr. July on the Gas Mask Hunks 2014 calendar.
May 17, 2014 — 5:45 AM
squee1313 says:
“Desperate Times” from image number 4. Child Molester with a Lollypop. I password protected because it’s not something I normally would post on my blog. The password is simply: 1234.
http://songsinsqueeminor.wordpress.com/wp-admin/post.php?post=1682&action=edit&message=6&postpost=v2
May 17, 2014 — 1:38 PM
Mr Urban Spaceman says:
“You are not allowed to edit this item.”
I’m afraid it didn’t even ask me for a password. Maybe you need to link directly to the story URL, rather than your admin portal editing page?
May 22, 2014 — 4:53 AM
Justin Walker says:
#7 Trout Hand. Very Silly.
http://justinwalkerbooks.blogspot.com/2014/05/terribleminds-flash-fiction-stock-photo.html
May 17, 2014 — 1:49 PM
epbeaumont says:
In which we have a story shaped like a Klein bottle with fish inside… twists, yeah, some of them not in three dimensions. Good job. Love me some weird.
May 24, 2014 — 9:53 PM
andreaspeed says:
I couldn’t pick just one photo, so I picked a bunch. Experimental and silly (I hope): http://andreaspeed.com/2014/flash-fic-challenge-25-minutes-into-the-future/
May 17, 2014 — 11:09 PM
Mr Urban Spaceman says:
I love it! I can’t pick a single ad which is my favourite, but I liked “Because fruit should nourish you, not the other way around.” (Bwahaha!) and “If you’ve lost an arm, and want to replace it with a factory farmed rainbow trout, we can help you.” (oh, the inanity!)
Brilliant idea, and expertly executed.
*Catches the cyber corn*
May 19, 2014 — 4:50 AM
aspeed says:
Thanks. I know I stole a bit of the Hitker joke from Mr. Show, but that’s what occurred to me as soon as I saw the photo. Someone with one too many cloned Hitkers. So if you’re going to “borrow”. borrow from the best.
May 20, 2014 — 3:54 AM
epbeaumont says:
I read parts of this aloud to my partner and could not stop cracking up. Cake pillows. Because you deserve it. Oh yeah, and all the others. This is a freaking masterpiece of bizarro humor (my very favorite flavor. mmm catnip *rolls around*)
May 21, 2014 — 12:21 PM
Mike Berkey says:
I rolled a die. Got #39: Princess. Hoo boy.
Of all the pictures, probably not the one I would have picked on my own. But here you have it:
The Princess Of Windsor. It’s about wizards and Windsor, Canada, and a war between Molly Maid and Camelot Cleaning Services. I need to lay off snorting airplane glue.
http://billionmonkeys.blogspot.com/p/the-princess-of-windsor.html
May 18, 2014 — 2:25 PM
epbeaumont says:
I WANT MORE! You have tickled my narrative kink for lower-midde-class and working-class wizards. I would read an entire novel in this universe.
(And I used to live in Toledo, so I know the locale… YES. Extra points for seldom-written locations for fantasy.)
May 21, 2014 — 12:19 PM
underastarlitsky says:
I picked #29. And as these are all very bizarre photos, my story is quite odd as well…without further ado, here’s my story The Apple Has Soured http://underastarlitsky.wordpress.com/
May 18, 2014 — 8:39 PM
epbeaumont says:
Pot those tropes, baby: bang, bang, bang. Loved this one. Weird and whack and scary, with a strange undercurrent of humor.
May 21, 2014 — 12:08 PM
Josh Loomis says:
#47: The Luchador. Meet El Rayo de Baja, Jr!
http://www.blueinkalchemy.com/2014/05/19/flash-fiction-rayo-de-baja-jr/
May 19, 2014 — 7:57 AM
Jon Jefferson says:
Number 9 though I do feel like I cheated a little.
http://www.10thdaypublishing.com/sparks-fly-dead/
May 19, 2014 — 9:28 PM
Rob Coker (@robomeerkat) says:
Number 7: Trout Hand. Be Careful What You Fish For (991 words)
http://distinguishednonsense.blogspot.co.uk/
May 20, 2014 — 5:27 AM
epbeaumont says:
This one sits on the boundary between folk tale, horror, and urban legend. Lots of tension getting there, too, and a not-entirely-unsympathetic narrator in spite of his bad habits.
May 21, 2014 — 12:09 PM
epbeaumont says:
I chose #6 from this generous array of w(h)ack. This entry strayed over the border into prose-poem or spoken word, but that’s the way the Muse rolls (oh and btw she wears brass knuckles). Footnotes available on request.
http://epbeaumont.com/2014/05/20/flash-fiction-abacus-music/
May 20, 2014 — 8:55 PM
Mark Baron says:
Excellent prose and powerful imagery, though I’ve come to expect no less from thee. The thought of countless messiahs, countless would be saviors cut down before uttering a word is a powerful one. The thought of their bones being used to tally souls by a one eyed priest of greed, chilling. Another amazing work. I’d love to see the footnotes.
May 20, 2014 — 11:33 PM
Mr Urban Spaceman says:
Your site says I’m not allowed to post comments on it (which I think is totally alienist) so here’s roughly what I’ve tried to post twice!
“Your poetry-prose paints a picture both beautiful and eerie. At one point I literally had a chill running across my flesh. So many dead Messiahs… it makes me wonder if perhaps there’s a little Messiah in all of us, waiting for the right circumstances, to bloom or be extinguished.”
May 22, 2014 — 4:36 AM
epbeaumont says:
Thank you! I will check into the commenting issue with my site. I’ve had problems commenting on some entries myself.
May 22, 2014 — 9:08 AM
epbeaumont says:
Thank you! Hats off to our genial host, for such a weird and wonderfully generative prompt.
On the site issue – I am a little weirded out by this as we are both on WordPress and I am following you. If spambots have had their say (however temporary), it should have no objection to intelligent life.
May 22, 2014 — 9:14 AM
Mr Urban Spaceman says:
Damn those spambots *shakes fist*
I’ll try commenting again on the next flash fiction you enter, and if it still doesn’t work, I shall write somebody a Strongly Worded Letter.
May 22, 2014 — 2:54 PM
angel011 says:
I chose #12. 600 words, one-sided “dialogue”, possibly pathetic and predictable, hopefully fun in spite (or because) of that: Mr. Cactus.
http://angel011.wordpress.com/2014/05/21/mr-cactus/
May 21, 2014 — 9:34 AM
epbeaumont says:
What’s really interesting about prompts is that everyone thinks they’re being obvious and somehow finds their own voice. I kept reading to find out what would happen, and the character held my attention.
May 21, 2014 — 12:07 PM
angel011 says:
Yes, I suppose I’m being obvious to myself.
May 21, 2014 — 12:19 PM
epbeaumont says:
Last week’s prompt was a case study. I read all of them, and lost whatever worries I’d ever had about “not being original.”
May 21, 2014 — 12:25 PM
C. E. Coburn says:
lolstockphotowhat? I grabbed number 20 — She Hitler. This is possibly one of the more effed up things I’ve written. Available here: http://februaryst.wordpress.com/2014/05/21/173/
May 21, 2014 — 1:36 PM
Jon Stoffel says:
I’m mad, I tell you, MAD! Trusting in the RNG fairies stuck me with #4, hip geriatric candy man. I present… “Sucks to be You”
http://www.jdstoffel.com/2014/05/flash-fiction-sucks-to-be-you/
May 21, 2014 — 7:39 PM
epbeaumont says:
Story stands on its own, no problem; actually, now that I think about it, so do all the stories except for the three-liner. Skin-crawling last line. I confess a bit of envy as I had absolutely no ideas looking at that picture.
The post-game analysis is really helpful, because I went through a similar process in writing mine; I sorted through various notions and decided to go with the kind of idea that is my kind of idea. What arrived had a life of its own, as yours does.
May 22, 2014 — 9:22 AM
Jon Stoffel says:
IMHO, that flavor adds insult to injury.
May 22, 2014 — 11:44 AM
Matthew X. Gomez says:
I got number 30.
http://mxgomez.wordpress.com/2014/05/22/summer-love/
May 22, 2014 — 11:45 AM
Sarah Joan (@By_SJD) says:
I have and artist friend who is always posting his work on facebook and for some time I have wanted to write a story for one of his pieces and thought this would be good practice and so I choose number 29 http://sarahwatches4u.blogspot.com/2014/05/flash-fiction-challange-accepted-2.html?spref=tw
May 22, 2014 — 12:40 PM
AE Smith says:
The Beast Goes On, featuring #6 (“A one-eyed accountant flashing ‘East Side’ whilst listening to an abacus”): http://gigantocellularis.tumblr.com/post/86521799357/flash-fiction-the-beast-goes-on
May 22, 2014 — 2:57 PM
Kelly says:
Random Generator serves up #19 http://klewismusings.wordpress.com/2014/05/22/queen-corn/
May 22, 2014 — 8:00 PM