It is my birthday.
I dare not say how old I am, though I will say that I have only one more birthday after this one where I can say I am not yet 40. Holy crap, 40? Who let that happen? *shudder*
Anyway, it’s my birthday, and I would like to Reverse the Natal Polarity and give you something.
This is 500 Ways To Tell A Better Story.
You’ll find that I’m tossing you PDF, ePub, and Kindle versions.
Link good for today only.
So, enjoy that.
Also, today, Zazzle has a 22% off deal going on their merch with code:
EARTHDAYDEAL
That works on all the Terribleminds Merch (mugs, shirts, flask).
Enjoy the stuff.
If you wanna do something nice for me (AND YOU DO *hypnobeard on*), then please check out some of my books, or leave a review, or tend the fires of my raging Narcissism in some other way.
KAY THANKS BYE
Veronica Sicoe says:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY mighty penmonkey god with fire in his beard and god’s blood in his pen!
April 22, 2014 — 8:59 AM
ardenrr says:
Happy Birthday!! *throws confetti bomb
April 22, 2014 — 9:01 AM
Cole says:
You, sir, are boss! A 3_-year-old boss, but boss nonetheless! Happy happy and a bottle of whiskey!
April 22, 2014 — 9:03 AM
John says:
Happy B-Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
April 22, 2014 — 9:04 AM
Pallav says:
Happy fucking birthday, Chuck! You’ve been an inspiration for me to grab life by the titties 😀 and it’s fun!
Hope the coming year is full of awesome creativity for you!
April 22, 2014 — 9:05 AM
Ashley says:
Happy Birthday!
I’ve been reading your blog for awhile now and commenting every so often. I really don’t remember who or what pointed me over here otherwise I would give them credit =P
Anyway, I’ve been thinking about buying some of your books for awhile now, especially since I’m doing a “read 50 books in a year” challenge. Not that I don’t have enough books sitting around my house to read already but you know how that goes. Thank you for the free book ^.^ I’m sure that this will get me completely entangled into your writing (because let’s be honest, if I didn’t like your writing style, I wouldn’t be reading your blog) and wanting more, meaning I’ll be buying books.
I really have no idea why I just said all that >.< *hides in the corner* DON'T LOOK AT ME!
April 22, 2014 — 9:07 AM
Kathryn Goldman says:
Happy Birthday, Chuck. It only gets better.
April 22, 2014 — 9:07 AM
Peter Hentges says:
Happy Your-Birthday to us!
April 22, 2014 — 9:08 AM
Mary Holden says:
What a great comment! I will be co-opting this one! Thank you!
April 22, 2014 — 9:23 AM
change it up editing says:
” . . . and many mooooooooore!”
April 22, 2014 — 9:08 AM
Shannon says:
Thanks for the book! Happy Birthday!
April 22, 2014 — 9:09 AM
Paul E. Horsman says:
Thanks for the book and have a great birthday!
April 22, 2014 — 9:13 AM
sheilasstephens says:
How kind of you to re-establish old Hobbit customs! Thank you. I hope you have a fabulous birthday that leads to the best year ever!
April 22, 2014 — 9:15 AM
ryanvgr says:
Thanks but I already bought your “How to be a kick ass writer” anthology, so I more then likely have what you have and then some.
Happy Birthday anyway
April 22, 2014 — 9:15 AM
terribleminds says:
This free book has quite a bit that’s not in KICK-ASS WRITER. 🙂
April 22, 2014 — 9:18 AM
Beth Turnage says:
Thank you for the book. Very cool. And Happy Birthday. And for unsolicited birthday advice, don’t complain about being close to 40. Those of us twenty years ahead of you wish we were thirty-eight again. So enjoy what you got. It moves so quickly that tomorrow you’ll be looking back saying, gee I wish I was thirty-eight again.
April 22, 2014 — 9:20 AM
Ambien Grey says:
Happy Birthday! 🙂
April 22, 2014 — 9:21 AM
Mary Holden says:
Happy Birthday + Thank You For The Book = April 22, 2014
…and there is no such thing as “time” unless you want to measure something for the number of it.
April 22, 2014 — 9:22 AM
Andy Taylor says:
Yay! Another writer joins the 40+ club. One of Us! One of Us! Happy B-Day Chuck and thanks for the present. Hey, wait aren’t we supposed to be showering you with the gifts?
April 22, 2014 — 9:22 AM
Beth Bishop says:
Happy Beardday, I mean Birthday! Thank you for the book.
April 22, 2014 — 9:24 AM
Melissa Osburn says:
Happy Birthday! 😀
April 22, 2014 — 9:26 AM
feralbulb says:
Happy birthday, Chuck ! 22nd of April, huh? So you exist to prove that there are two April fool’s days. We know the 1st and now you know that number 22 is the 2nd. See, being a Marseille tarot cards reader (with some over-ambitious writing goals), the 22nd card, the last of the deck, is the card of the Fool, also known as 0 (‘zero’). The Fool is an adventurer, a traveller, a court Jester, a crafty word master, an actor, a clown and much more. It has to do with endings and stepping into the unknown, with being brave or foolish. This is why you love books, parachutes and healthcare insurance, I think. Enjoy your day!
April 22, 2014 — 9:26 AM
S T Cameron says:
Happy Birthday. Oh, you shouldn’t have gotten me something. Thank you. It was just what I wanted for your birthday.
April 22, 2014 — 9:27 AM
Sunee says:
Happy birthday, sir! Hope you have a good one! Thanks for the e-book 🙂
April 22, 2014 — 9:27 AM
Justin Beeman says:
Happy birthday, man! Thanks for the monkey swag!
April 22, 2014 — 9:28 AM
inkoherent says:
Hi Chuck, felicitations on your naming day and all that. I thought I’d contribute to staving off the ‘starving’ part of your artistry but I can’t buy your merch from zazzle UK, what’s up with that? I want that damned mug goddammit.
April 22, 2014 — 9:29 AM
pernille hughes says:
Thanks for the ebook and have a fabulous birthday!!
April 22, 2014 — 9:31 AM
pooks says:
“Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to you,
You look like a penmonkey god….
And you smell like one, too!”
[what, you didn’t sing that in third grade?]
April 22, 2014 — 9:36 AM
Ed Marrow says:
You are younger than I am. Man you must have had some hard years. um, I mean you are a handsome devil. 🙂
April 22, 2014 — 9:39 AM
Michelle Hunt says:
Happy birthday, Chuck! And thanks for the free goodness! All us writer-wanna-bes appreciate it (and you)!
April 22, 2014 — 9:40 AM
Edward Paul says:
Happy Birthday Chuck!
This is possibly the best writing book ever written! Love this one: “Yeah, no, it’s just bad writing. It’s yours, all right. It’s just shitty.”
April 22, 2014 — 9:44 AM
Christopher says:
Happy Birthday, Sir! Thanks for sharing.
April 22, 2014 — 9:48 AM
Craig Forsyth says:
Wow, thanks. And happy birthday. Reading Blackbirds at the moment and will leave a review once I’m done but I can say so far it’s looking like 5* goodness, so unless you’ve made a real balls-up of the ending, you’re golden. Could well be ordering Mockingbird and The Cormorant soon.
April 22, 2014 — 9:54 AM
Dennine says:
Happy Birthday!
Thanks for (all ) the book(s) – not just the free ones!
I enjoy the stories & recommend your writing advice to my students (and myself 😉 – it’s good for any writer!
April 22, 2014 — 9:55 AM
Mark Gardner says:
Happy 38th buddy! Buy yourself a book and eat a candy bar or something. Take the wife to one of your Pre-Designated Favorite Celebration Restaurants. (Although, B-Dub might make that more difficult.)
April 22, 2014 — 10:00 AM
Laurie says:
Happy birthday. Thanks for the present!
April 22, 2014 — 10:04 AM
springinkerl says:
Happy birthday, enjoy your cupcakes and whatever people may be throwing at you today.
April 22, 2014 — 10:05 AM
TymberDalton says:
Happy birthday, and you rock, thank you! 🙂 (Watch out for sprinkles on those flying cupcakes, I hear they’ve put out peoples’ eyes before.)
April 22, 2014 — 10:32 AM
Bonnie Johnston says:
Happy Birthday, Chuck!
If you don’t mind my saying so, we make a big deal about birthdays when we’re kids, and that convinces us that our age is some hugely important factor, when in fact, attitude and health and the ability to enjoy life are far more important that whether you are two years shy of 40 or two years past it. (I am 5 years past it, and having more fun than I was at 38.)
So…why not track your age in terms that bring a smile to your face? I am 5 published short stories, 6 published non-fiction books, 3 children’s books, 9 unpublished novels old, and a bunch of articles old. I am hoping to have added another 5 short stories and a published novel to my age by this time next year.
How old are you in publications? Pretty old in an AWESOME WRITER-PERSON sort of way, right?
Sending you birthday hugs and as many cupcakes as your pancreas can handle,
Bonnie
April 22, 2014 — 10:43 AM
Erik K says:
Recently, I finally got on my ass and read your Miriam Black books. I put them off because while I like dark and gritty, I thought I’d be put off by Miriam. You know, she’s not likable or nice. How can I relate to a character that’s not a good person?
Those who have read those books are already laughing, because Miriam is VERY likable, and while she’s not nice, that’s because she’s too busy being AMAZING and an excellent person. And getting thrown down stairs. Like ya do.
Anywho, so I’ve been binging on those. And, for your birthday, I’ll make sure to write up reviews and slap them on various boards. I’d buy a book too, but I ran out of books to buy. I’d tell you to write faster, but I’m not actually sure that’s possible.
April 22, 2014 — 10:45 AM
nlhartmann says:
Happy Birthday. And thanks for the present. Keep your eye on the flying cupcakes (first cousins to Windows’ old flying toasters!).
April 22, 2014 — 10:47 AM
Karen Lynne Klink says:
Happy Birthday, junior.
April 22, 2014 — 10:56 AM
stevefah says:
Happy birthday, young fella! Thanks for the book; I’ve already shared the link both on Facebook and to a would-be writer friend. Even for those of us who have been writing for a while, it’s got some good pertinent information, so thanks!
April 22, 2014 — 11:21 AM
Norma Parfitt says:
Thanks so much Young Man (I’ve got 28 years on you).
I’m not bulling you up simply coz it’s your Birthday, but you really are a Good guy. I don’t know any other writer who dishes out Freebies the way you do; almost more importantly they are great freebies.
Have a great Birthday and sink a jar or two for me (Old age kinda cramps the style drink-wise).
April 22, 2014 — 11:22 AM
Courtney Cantrell says:
Just remember that no matter how old you are, your beard is younger than you.
Unless, of course, you were already growing it in utero. WHICH I CAN BELIEVE IS ENTIRELY POSSIBLE.
Happy birthday, and thanks for the free book!
April 22, 2014 — 11:32 AM
Luke says:
Just wanted to say Happy birthday. I have a book of yours you drew dicks all over. Also, I wanted to say thanks for the good reads. You have the best swearing of any book I have read to date.
April 22, 2014 — 11:34 AM
RavenBlackburn says:
Happy Birthday, beard-man! And thanks for being the inspiration that you are.
April 22, 2014 — 11:41 AM
pmillhouse says:
Happy Birthday and thanks for the book, Chuck! I adore your birthdays!!
April 22, 2014 — 11:47 AM
Wendy Christopher says:
Happy Birthday Chuck! And don’t worry – forty’s only scary when you’re on the upward slope to it. Once you get there, it’s like “Yeah, whatever…”
And cheers for the free book – what a lovely pressie for us all. I actually bought it already two weeks ago, so I can recommend it thoroughly. (And in fact did, on Amazon.)
Have a good one! Eat cake! Drink stuff! Party!
April 22, 2014 — 12:11 PM
Anthony says:
Happy Birthday! I’ll go dig through my amazon stuff and see which of your books I’ve yet to review. Has to be something somewhere, right?
April 22, 2014 — 12:22 PM
punkeroo2 says:
Thank you for recognizing the time-honoured hobbit tradition of giving gifts on your birthday. I hope your day is everything you want it to be.
Also thank you for reminding me that I am in fact staring the horrifying 40 in the face…
April 22, 2014 — 12:25 PM
Eric B says:
Happy Birthday! And thank you very much for the book!
On an unrelated note, how are the little comment icons assigned? Because i always seem to get the green, somewhat phallic-looking one. And i would like to know if someone is trying to tell me something.
April 22, 2014 — 12:32 PM