As you may know, in October I shall bore a hole through the center of the Earth and I will emerge like a gopher in the city of Brisbane, Australia —
*receives a note*
Ah, apparently I will instead of taking something called a “plane.”
Whatever. I’m getting there somehow.
And, once there, I will be a guest of honor at the wonderful-sounding GenreCon.
I do not yet know the full dates for travel yet.
But I’m pondering exactly how I should handle this trip. Like, should I try to do a small tour of Australia? Even if it’s a one-bookstore pit-stop?
Should I just wander amok? I can’t be gone too long, lest I leave my wife alone with the Wolverine Tornado that is our darling toddler, B-Dub, King Adorbz of Adorbzville.
The subject header tells all — anybody who is in Australia or who has been there should tell me everything you know about it. Open your brain with this hammer. Spill out all knowledge so that I may sup on it. Jet lag! Phone! Food! Travel within the country! Things to do! Things to see! Things to avoid! Drop bears! Hell-spiders! Venomous sommeliers and toxin-producing travel agents! Koala plagues! Slang terms! Beer! Also, beer! Bookstores! Publishers! WHATEVER HELP IT’S LIKE AN ALIEN LAND THAT LOOKS LIKE AMERICA BUT IS ACTUALLY BIZARRO-AMERICA.
Thanks in advance!
(Oh, and the “crowdsourcing essentials” posts will be back next week — I’ve got a very awesome helper tallying up the lists so I’ll have some reporting to do.)
tordollhouse says:
Heysa dude, if you want to come down Sydney way you have a place to crash here in Newtown for as long as you want free of charge 🙂 Plus I can give you a guided tour of the city which is a 5 minute walk from my place.
August 12, 2013 — 7:09 AM
ashleycapes says:
Hi Chuck,
I’ve been to Brisbane a couple of times, loved it. Probably my favourite Australian city. Here’s a list that’s worth a look, I love Folio books:
http://brisbane.concreteplayground.com.au/news/55086/the-ten-best-bookstores-in-brisbane.htm
Check out the Botanical Gardens around Alice Street too – and get ready for one hell of a flight 🙂
August 12, 2013 — 7:09 AM
decayingorbits says:
I’ve been Down Under a few times, visiting Canberra, Sydney, and Brisbane (I have family in Bris). It’s fabulous. I’d recommend a stop in Sydney if possible (most flights from the U.S. land there first although there are some that go direct to Brisbane) — it’s a great city with many great watering holes (check out the Lord Nelson) not mention the iconic Sydney Opera House. That being said, all my Australian relatives say Melbourne is the best city in Australia, although I have to take their word for it as I’ve never been. I think the absolute best part about Australia is it’s full of Australians. They’re great people and friendly to a fault. I just hope they are buying you a ticket in Business Class because it is a LONG flight(s) – especially from the East Coast.
August 12, 2013 — 7:25 AM
Sigil says:
You should be going to Melbourne instead? (*cheeky grin*)
August 12, 2013 — 7:28 AM
Leisl Leighton says:
Chuck, I am Australian and live in a suburb of Melbourne, Victoria, which is either a 2 1/2 day drive from Brisbane or a 2 hour plane ride. If you are staying mostly in the cities, you don’t have to worry about ravening koalas, kick boxing kangas or the world’s most poisonous snakes and spiders. Those you’ll only find out in the bush (wide outdoor space with lots of trees and shrubs) or the outback (wide outdoor space with lots of red dirt, amazing rock formations and a scattering of shrubs and things that look like trees).
You’ll be up in Queensland, so you are close to the Sunshine Coast, Australia Zoo (Steve Irwin’s pet store), Frazer Island (where the dingo didn’t eat a baby, but has been known to take a nibble out of stupid people who think they’re cute dogs rather than wild animals – I mean, would you walk up to a wolf in the wild and offer it a prime piece of steak in the form of your arm and expect it not to take a nibble?), the Great Barrier Reef (check out Finding Nemo to bone up on this) and the Whitsunday islands.
Watersports and time on the beaches are what most people go to Queensland for (their slogan is ‘beautiful one day, perfect the next), but you can find some great eats and as much beer as you could poke a stick at (if poking sticks at beer is your thing – most Aussies just drink it like it’s the nectar of the gods and hold the sticks for poking at that hand sized spider that’s just crawled out of the crack in the wall.)
If you want to see anything though outside of Brisbane, you’ll need to like to drive, because this is a big country and nothing is near anything else. If you have time on your hands, then you should plan a road trip, because there’s nothing like seeing Australia from a big strip of bituman that goes on forever and ever. We also have a huge number of ‘big’ things in Australia, which some people love to visit – the big Banana, the big Pineapple, the big Lobster, the big Pelican, the big Gumboot (you get what I mean.) We also have a big bottle made out of thousands of beer bottles (might be right up your alley – you could stand there and imagine how many days of drinking that would have taken!) And if you’ve more time, there’s heaps more to see in every other state of Australia – the Red Centre, Ayers Rock and the Olgas, the beautiful Katherine ranges and so on just for starters, not to mention all the wine and food trails in SA, NSW, Victoria and WA, the amazing restaurants (particularly in Victoria – we are known for our food), the amazing coastal roads and beaches, the surf, you can swim with seals, dolphins, whales and sharks if that is what you want. Or, you could just stay snug in Brisbane, staying around the river area and soak up (or just become beer and food soaked) the relaxed atmosphere Queensland is famous for and enjoy the food and wine bars there.
For more ideas, check out the tourist websites, becuase it’s getting late here at the bottom of the world and being upside down for all of my ife, (we are the land downunder where water circles down the drain backwards according to northern hemispherians) my brains are about to leak out of my ears with thinking too much. But the last thing I’ll say is this – we are a long way from you whether you come by drilling platform or plane, so bring a book/computer/tablet/eReader/game console etc to keep yourself occupied and semi-sane on the plane. Good luck and enjoy. It is a wonderful place..
August 12, 2013 — 7:29 AM
Nic E says:
Unfortunately I’ve never been to QLD or Brissy we all think its like the southern states in american its hot and wet and the people speak funnny… 🙂 Despite popular belief we dont ride kangaroos… too dangerous they be psycho, Drop bears are just unstoned Koalas if they dont get their euclalyptus hit they get their ranty mac rant pants on and its all bad. Stay out of shadowy places that’s where all the posionous spiders hang out.
August 12, 2013 — 7:30 AM
Valerie Rind says:
Chuck,
I visited Sydney for 6 months and stayed for 10 years.
1. Be careful when someone says “it’s your shout.” IT DOESN’T MEAN YOU SHOULD TYPE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. It means it’s your turn to buy a round of drinks for everyone in the bar.
2. There are 10 different types of poisonous snakes.
3. There’s a better than average chance you will NOT be attacked by a shark.
4. The best way to deal with jet lag is to pretend it doesn’t exist. Set your watch when you arrive to the current time in Brissie (nickname for Brisbane). Don’t ever tell yourself, “well, MY body thinks it’s 4 am right now.”
5. Go to Sydney. Climb the Harbour Bridge.
6. The Queen of England still owns the place. Make sure you coo over Baby Prince George.
7. No matter how long your trip is, it won’t be long enough.
8. The Aussies know much more about U.S. history, politics, and current affairs than you do.
9. There are two major political parties (and some minor leagues): the Labour Party and the Liberal Party. The Liberal Party isn’t.
10. Nobody drinks Fosters or throws a shrimp on the barbie.
Have a great time!
August 12, 2013 — 7:34 AM
Mozette says:
Hey, Chuck, I live here… I’m a Brisbanite born and bred, and it’s a beautiful little city… yeah, little. My home town is what some may call Briz-Vegas (we have ONE casino and they think it’s the gambling capital of the universe!) while others call it The River City…. I’d like to call it the latter name as the Brisbane River runs through the middle of our city.
We have the City Cats which are large ferries that run up and down our river and stop off at a variety of places; making traveling around Brisbane easy. But the best thing for traveling around my city is to get a Go-Card… you can buy them at most newsagents and charge it up with lots of money (and register it please so if it gets stolen or lost you can freeze your account with Translink). You can use the Go-Card on ferries, buses and trains – great stuff.
What’s also great stuff is our entertainment! We have a great cultural arena around Southbank, Fortitude Valley and Brisbane City Centre (aka: Queen Street Mall). Brisbane has a Gallery of Modern Art and not far from it the State Library of Queensland… and up the street from there is West End which is a gorgeous cultural mecca of its very own filled with all kinds of pubs, shops and places to look into.
I live in Logan City, about a 20 minute run south of Brisbane. If you decide to watch our news channels and something bad happens here, the anchor people will report it this way: ‘There was a siege at a house this weekend,’ lowers voice slightly, ‘south of Brisbane,’ brings it back to normal speaking level, ‘The police got it under control and nobody was hurt…’ and they’ll continue on with the report. They really make my area look bad; when really it’s not that bad. There’s crime everywhere.
I’ve lived in Logan City for my whole life. I don’t like it but I do… it’s a strange mix of cultures here where we have musicians, artists and other interesting things always going on. I work as a volunteer at the Logan Art Gallery and have done for the last 15 years.
But all in all, you’ll find that Aussies are great, friendly people no matter who they are around my great city. And, like I said, the food here is great! If you’re coming here in October, you’ll be here in Spring, when it’s nice, warm and pleasant. Actually, we’ve got a bit of an Early Spring coming right now, so it’ll probably be warmish… but you’ll love it here. Bring your camera, enjoy yourself and here in Brisbane, at Southbank, there’s a place called Kodak Beach where your family can have a swim right in the middle of our city! Now, that’s very cool! 😀
August 12, 2013 — 7:38 AM
Mirella says:
Well I live in the most isolated city in the world, Perth, capital city of Western Australia. While it’s a bit of a trek from the eastern states (5 hour flight), I think you should come and visit us in lovely Perth 🙂 We’ll find at least one bookstore for you to visit.
We are home to Tim Winton, Australia’s most famous author, and he resides in Fremantle, our wonderful port city.
You want beer? We’ve got beer. 30 mins out of the city is the Swan Valley – lots of great wineries and lots of great micro-breweries.
Want more beer? We’ve got more beer. 3 hours south of the city we have the Margaret River wine region, even more gorgeous wineries and even more delicious and funky beers.
The Swan River flows through our city and you can watch dolphins mucking around. We’ll have the best weather in October, we always do.
But beware, we’re the most expensive of all Australian cities (driven by the mining boom) and so your pints of beer will cost you!
August 12, 2013 — 7:39 AM
fozmeadows says:
Speaking as an Australian, there are several things you should know:
1. October in Australia is mid-spring, which, if you’re from a region of the world with actual seasons, sounds fairly pleasant. But as the Land of Oz is, in the immortal words of Dylan Moran, located approximately three quarters of a mile from the surface of the sun, we really only have two temperatures: Boiling and Winter. Brisbane is far enough north that it gets some monsoonal weather – meaning that when it’s hot, it’s a wet, sticky, tropical heat, even in spring, because the Australian summer basically runs from September to March. So, basically: be prepared for temperatures in the low to mid 30s (that’s Celsius, not Farenheit), tropical rain, and incredibly wet heat.
2. As a corollary of the above: YOU WILL GET SUNBURNT – properly, properly sunburnt – if you neglect to put on sunscreen and spend any portion of your day outside. You can always spot the European tourists to Aus by the fact that, within about 24 hours of landing, they all turn the colour of angry lobsters. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
3. Without wanting to assume geographical ignorance on your part, given its comparatively small population and mere handful of major cities, it’s easy to forget that Australia is fucking HUGE. From coast to coast and north to south, it’s got roughly the same dimensions as the USA. Flying from Brisbane to Sydney will take you about three and a half hours, while Brisbane to Melbourne will be about six and a half. Brisbane to Perth is comparable to getting from LA to New York: a bit over seven hours. Point being: if you want to see any other big cities, it’s going to take a fair bit of time and effort to get in and out of Bisneyland (also known as BrisVegas), so unless you’ve got that kinda energy up your sleeve, you’re probably better off exploring around Brisbane and its accompanying state, Queensland, than looking into the rest of the country.
4. That being said, there’s some great stuff in Queensland, including, but by no means limited to: the Daintree Rainforest, the Great Barrier Reef, some amazing beaches, the Sunshine Coast (home of the Big Pineapple – no, seriously; Australia has a whole heap of ludicrous Big Things you can visit, many of which are in Queensland: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Australia's_big_things#Queensland). Queensland is also known as the Deep North, for reasons which will become increasingly apparent the further you go inland. (Suggestion: DO NOT GO INLAND.)
5. Brisbane has an incredibly colourful local arts scene, and is, as a result, fairly incestuous, in the sense that everybody knows everybody. Once you’ve met a single local, it’s like Three Degrees of Kevin Bacon in figuring out how they’re connected to everybody else, which is really quite a fun attribute.
6. Despite the aforementioned wet heat, Brisbane is home to some fairly hardcore Goth culture. It takes serious commitment to wear black velvet, big boots and eyeliner when it’s 45 degrees and 90% humidity, so fair dues to them. I mention it because your authorly sensibilities may find the phenomena interesting.
7. Drop bears are real. They will totally eat your face-flesh and shit in your hollowed-out skull. GUARD YOURSELF BY WEARING AN ENORMOUS METAL HAT AT ALL TIMES.
August 12, 2013 — 7:39 AM
terribleminds says:
I get my metal Drop Bear hat at customs, right?
And, okay, you’re the second person who says “hot in October.” Good to know.
In part what you’re saying is, if I remain in Brisbane and its surrounding environs, I’ve got quite a lot I can do without having to see the rest of the Very Large Australian Landmass on this trip?
Thank you!
August 12, 2013 — 9:30 AM
inkgrrl says:
As Seanan has said, it’s The Land of Poison and Flame, and she was crowned Princess one year. That right there should tell you quite a bit, in an oblique way 😉
August 13, 2013 — 12:09 PM
Louisa says:
Exciting, you’re coming to Brisbane! October is a lovely time of year here too. decayingorbits is right, Sydney is definitely worth a look, as is Melbourne but if you haven’t got much time and you want to stick around Brisbane, maybe check out Byron Bay (kind of alternative, trendy place with beaches) and Stradbroke Island (fabulous beaches). The mountains behind the Gold Coast are beautiful too, sub-tropical rainforest. The Gold Coast (1hr south of Brissie) is good for night life and beaches.
But if you just want to stick close to Brisbane, those bookshops will take you on a tour of the city, plus you should check out Southbank down by the river.
August 12, 2013 — 7:41 AM
Joanna Penn (@thecreativepenn) says:
Hi Chuck,
I lived in Oz for 4 years, have travelled everywhere and lived in Brisbane for much of that time … if you have time, I think you should get out of Brissy, which is just like many other cities really.
If you only have a little time, go north to Noosa and the Sunshine Coast (not to the Gold Coast which is just a mini-Florida) … if you can, go further north to the Whitsunday Islands – or up to Far North Queensland for the real Australia – that’s where ancient rainforest, strange prehistoric birds and beasties are and where someone like you could spin a hell of a yarn …
my top top pick would be to head to the Northern Territory which really is another world – get away from the cities and into the bush – out of Darwin there are some great trips … but that is quite a way away!
August 12, 2013 — 7:44 AM
Pee Dee says:
I’ve lived in Brisbane and surrounding areas several times; about 8 years in total.
Places worth seeing:
* The old Treasury Building (city), in daylight. Beautiful sandstone structure, now converted to a casino with garish lights at night.
* Montville. About an hour by car north of Brisbane and in the mountains. Beautiful scenery and a quaint village.
* Botanical Gardens at Toowong, close to the city. Much nicer than the city gardens, which is more of an open area near the river, although there’s a fabulous cafe near the river and next to the university.
* Southbank, opposite the city. There are weekend markets, beautiful gardens, a pub with a beer garden, and it’s all riverside.
Mount Coot-tha Lookout is close to the Toowong Botanical Gardens and has beautiful and panoramic views.
* A drive out to Mt. Nebo west of Brisbane is worth it if you like trees and nature and amazing birdsong.
* Bookstores: two interesting stores are [1] American Bookstore in the City, and [2] a second-hand but well-stocked bookstore on the 3rd floor of the Toowong Village shopping centre (train from the city stops under the centre, about a 5 minute ride).
*Gold Coast beaches are about 1.5 hours south by car; quite beautiful. Surfers Paradise (city area) is a pit.
* Sunshine Coast beaches are about 1-5 to 2.5 hours north by car. Worth a drive just to see how beautiful the coastline is.
Australians have a fast-fading reputation for friendliness. There’s a reason it’s fading but your trip is short so I won’t go into that. Queenslanders are quite conservative. Because of the context of your visit I think you can expect to meet a few friendlies.
* No culture of tipping. You can if you want to, but generally it’s just ’rounded up’ to the nearest $5, or loose change. ie: If you paid $25 in a restaurant you can leave $30 if you want. If you bought a coffee in a cafe for $3.80 you can just leave the change from $4. No one works for tips here; the minimum wage is robust, so you tip if you think you had good service or if you’re self-delusional and think the cute chick who smiled as she brought your coffee actually thinks you’re attractive.
What are you interested in? If you have some specific interests I can probably help you out.
PS. ‘Your shout’ only applies to the people you’re drinking with, and not everyone in the whole bar.
August 12, 2013 — 7:46 AM
Mozette says:
Another great bookstore is on Charlotte Street called ‘Archives’… it’s haunted in the back building and the buildings themselves have been there since around 1915 owned by the man whose name is on the building – who was a printer.
The haunting was caused by a crime in the back alley where some people were killed but the crime was never solved… or so I have been told. 🙂
August 12, 2013 — 7:57 AM
Mozette says:
Now… okay…. I’ve told you the great things about Brisbane.
Australia is a different thing altogether.
We do have some pretty poisonous things here; but don’t worry, that’s what hospitals are for.
We have these tiny black spiders with a red strip on their backs… DON’T TOUCH THEM!… kill them. They’re called Redback Spiders and if you mess with them, the poison in them becomes more potent. They hang about places of disuse, so you might not find any on your visit.
We have other spiders too; Hunstman Spiders are everywhere. They are related to the Cane Spider from Hawaii and are harmless, but fast bastards – but they will scared the crap out of you and your family. If you want, take him outside, but be assured; he will come back in! Funnelweb Spiders are around here too. These are freaky as shit spiders. We can’t drown them, freeze them or anything… only thing to do with them is to kill them. But I have never come across one yet – and yet they’re supposed to be here in Brisbane.
Snakes… we have 10 of the most poisonous snakes in the world in our backyard. But most of them stay in the outback. So, don’t worry, you probably won’t see them unless you visit a reptile park.
Blue Tongue Lizards: they look like snakes, but have little legs and blue tongues. These guys are harmless and are not to be killed by anyone. They are part of our landscape and gardens and kill bugs and are very shy really. If you see one, they’ll look kinda blue-grey in colour and they’ll be more freaked out that you saw them and bolt than you are of them. 🙂
Furry Caterpillers – these guys look cute and fluffy… but really they are horrible and mean that rain is on its way. squash them when you see them – which will be mainly in Queensland – as they will make you itch like you have chickenpox! And if you do touch one calamine lotion is good for the itchy spots you get along with antihistamine to stop you from itching. 🙂
That’s about it… 😀
August 12, 2013 — 7:52 AM
Margaret E. Atwood (@MargaretAtwood) says:
1. Connect with Cat Sparks! @catsparx
2. You will have a wonderful time. Australians are funny, friendly, and very inventive in the slang dept. They will give even you a run for your $ in the neo-swearing dept.
3. If you can possibly get outside (a) (the) city, to (for instance) the country around Cairns, do. With knowledgeable folks. (E.g. Philip Gregory, Cassowary House. http://www.cassowary-house.com.au/ or Max Davidson’s in Arnhemland, though you will most likely not have time for such a far-flung trip.)
4. Don’t go swimming where there are sea crocodiles.
5. Don’t pat snakes.
6. The food can be exceptional.
7. Birds + botany + wildlife + geology too. Not like anything else!
8. Reading some history in advance helps. N.B. “Your ancestors were convicts” is not necessarily an insult.
9. You might like to cast an eye over an oldie called “Damned Whores and God’s Police.” if you can find a copy. Women convicts and how they got there. Instructive.
10. Try a product called “No Jet Lag.”
August 12, 2013 — 7:55 AM
terribleminds says:
“Neo-swearing” sounds like some kind of futuristic religion based in part on inventive vulgarity. I shall be a priest in this wonderful new paradigm.
Anyway! Yes, thank you for this, Margaret — I’m actually pretty geeked about the birds botany wildlife geology situation.
I’m off now to Google “No Jet Lag,” which I fear is just a large man who will accompany me on the flight and will beat the jet lag out of me when I land in Brisbane.
— c.
August 12, 2013 — 9:24 AM
Michelle says:
Do NOT try to pat a Cassowary if you are a bird geek. Repeat – DO NOT. The ‘try’ is the easy part. You WILL regret it. Or become a throw rug for it…
August 12, 2013 — 10:10 AM
Mozette says:
Oh! Yeah, I agree! do not make eye contact with these tall, beautiful birds. They have a large piece of something on top of their heads… it’s a massive chunk of bone – solid bone! – which they will chase you down and bash you with! They will keep bashing you until you stop moving… they are a bitch of a bird and are only found in Far North Queensland where they have signs WARNING YOU WHERE THEY ARE! This is to keep you away from them.
You’ve been warned about Cassowaries. Not nice birds.
Kangaroos are not cuddly critters either. If you want to pat one, go to Dreamworld where they’re too big fat and lazy to get up and come after you.
Drop Bears aka Koalas are not nice… go to Dreamworld and cuddle one there. But if you don’t want it peeing on you, don’t wear aftershave – they hate that. I know, I asked. 🙂
August 12, 2013 — 9:37 PM
Valerie Rind says:
@ Pee Dee,
But you’re always drinking with everyone in the bar … 🙂
Try Redback Beer.
August 12, 2013 — 7:58 AM
fozmeadows says:
Oh! And some other general Aussie stuff:
– If you order beer on tap in Brisbane or Sydney, the correct terminology is for pots (small) and schooners (large). In Melbourne, however, you can ask for a pot or a half (small) and a pint (large).
– Thongs are flip-flops, not underwear. And if you go to the beach on a hot day, you should really wear some, because the hot sand can and will burn the skin of your feet like nobody’s business.
– There are three types of football played in Australia: Rugby Union, Rugby League and Aussie Rules. Soccer is a different sport altogether. Nobody plays gridiron.
– In 2004, a trade agreement between Australia and the USA enforced a mandatory minimum of locally-produced TV content in Australia, the better to ensure that most of what shows up on Aus TV is American in origin. A huge source of contention in Aus at the time, and which has had a major impact on the death of Australian-made content, it’s something most Americans are utterly unaware of. I mention this for two reasons: one, because it might help explain why most of the stuff you’ll see broadcast is familiar US crap, and two, because it’s a good example of why, as an earlier commenter has already pointed out, many Aussies will have firm opinions on and an in-depth knowledge of US politics: because we have to.
– Possums are cute. They are abundant. They are fearless, and will sometimes come quite close to you. BUT DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, TRY AND PICK THEM UP. They can shred your arm in a heartbeat, and their teeth and claws are carriers for just about every sort of disease you don’t want and will have to take painful shots to prevent.
– Australia is full of parrots. Like, they are EVERYWHERE, and even wild rainbow lorikeets can frequently be coaxed into eating bread from your hand, if you’re patient enough. Growing up there, this never struck me as unusual, but apparently it’s kind of novel and awesome if you’re from America?
August 12, 2013 — 8:00 AM
terribleminds says:
LORIKEETS EEEEEE
ahem I mean, sure, whatever, stupid birds.
In particular, the beer information is quite welcome. 😉
— c.
August 12, 2013 — 9:18 AM
Mozette says:
Another thing about birds… seagulls will steal from you. They are cheeky buggers. If you turn away from your fish’n’chips, they’ll just fly up and pinch what they think you’re not eating and take off with it! So, keep a keen eye on your food at the beach… and if you do decide to feed them, make sure it’s food you’ve already dropped on the ground and won’t touch again.
With Possums… yeah, they cute, cuddly and they love bananas… I know, I feed two possums in my yard bananas… but they will fight cats, bats and other critters around the place. They claws are full of diseases (like another commenter has said); and you don’t want to get stuff from animals here when you’re here to enjoy yourself.
And there’s an Aussie Slang Dictionary out on the market, if you’d like to pick up a copy, just ask at Dymocks in the city or QBD and you’ll be able to locate one, to keep up with our slang – as we speak a lot of it; and a lot of us speak it quickly. So, if you find we’re talking too fast, to be backwards in coming forwards in telling us to slow down a little and that you didn’t catch what we said. 🙂
August 12, 2013 — 10:00 PM
Harry Gorry says:
I don’t know what these guys are on, but you need to get real. Ok, the images are facts, the folk are not. if the US is looking for another state, this is it. Complete with guns drugs and America mumbo-jumbo fast-food crap. You need to get out of cities and into the Aussie bush if you want it real. Sure there are snakes, nasty-looking crawly things that bite and politicians. But you have them too! My advise? Stay where you are. To many of us, you are just another Yank with a fat mouth and a fat wallet. Better save your dollars. Send it to your Internal revenue people and help pay off the debt you owe to China.
August 12, 2013 — 8:01 AM
Kay Camden says:
I think Harry wants to be your tour guide.
August 12, 2013 — 10:27 AM
fozmeadows says:
Oh, one more thing! The number one way tourists get into trouble in Aus is by bushwalking and getting lost. Seriously: if you go for a bushwalk, stick to the trails, take plenty of water, and for the love of God, take a phone and tell someone where you’re headed. A few tourists die every year because they’re not prepared for the distance, the heat and the lack of familiar landmarks, not to mention the extreme distance between outback towns. Brits in particular, who are used to a country where, if you blindfold yourself, spin around in a circle and walk for ten minutes in any random direction, you’re still guaranteed to be a pub and a village at the other end, are frequently wrongfooted by a country where the further inland you head, the less there is, until you either die or hit the desert, and THEN you die IN the desert. Fun times!
August 12, 2013 — 8:04 AM
jim heskett says:
first off, the flight: bring vaseline for your nose, because the air will be horribly dry.
I lived in Australia (blog adventures here: http://jimintheworld.blogspot.com/search/label/Australia )
if in Brisbane, go up to Port Douglas and see the reef if possible. Otherwise, get some fish and chips, finish it off with some Tim-Tams (double-coat are the best), and get someone to teach you how to do the tim-tam slam (it’s a PG-rated experience, i promise). You’ll never forget your first tim tam slam
August 12, 2013 — 8:17 AM
Pee Dee says:
You might want to make contact with Queensland Writers Centre http://www.qwc.asn.au
They’re pretty active and they have a big following. Google John Birmingham. Author, newspaper blogger, funny, and a really good bloke. He’ll be at genre.con. I think he blogs on brisbanetimes.com.au and you can contact him through there or his blog or QWC. A very approachable guy who doesn’t take himself too seriously, and he’d show you a Brisbane that would leave you in a psychiatric ward so batshit crazy you’d think you were back in America.
You’ll probably have to bring your own chawin’ tobaccy and we don’t rassle bars over here.
August 12, 2013 — 8:27 AM
Peter Ball says:
He’s not going to have much choice on the QWC front. We’re the people behind the Australian Writer’s Marketplace, which in turn is behind GenreCon 🙂
August 12, 2013 — 8:02 PM
Deepa says:
You’re going to Brisvegas?!?!
I’m in Sydney..
Wear sunscreen….at least 30+
October will be HOT so pack accordingly
Jet-lag coming from the northern hemmisphere is pretty bad. Just suck it up…..force yourself to get up at a normal hour and go to bed at a normal hour. Jet-lag going back will comparitively be a walk in the park.
If someone says ‘How you going?’, the correct reply is ‘Good thanks’, not ‘I’m getting a cab’.
Go to- Sydney of course. And Melbourne for good food and to shop. Tasmania for the gorgeous scenary and general quaintness. One of the wine producing regions- Hunter Valley near sydney, Barossa or McLaren Vale near Adelaide or the one near Melbourne. Also try and make it to the NT to see Ayres rock and Kings Canyon which are stunning but will take you at least 4 days.
Wear Sunscreen
Bring sarcasm
Stay away from spiders
Don’t expect every place to have gluten free, low cal, fodmap options
Wear sunscreen
Enjoy!!
August 12, 2013 — 9:00 AM
terribleminds says:
How hot are we talking? I heard around mid-70s in mid-Oct?
Also, jet lag will be initially from me going West, which is (usually) easier than the return trip East.
Thank you!
— c.
August 12, 2013 — 9:16 AM
Deepa says:
Oh I forgot to say……leave your farenhiet inches miles talk at home 🙂
Qld is one of the hottest parts of the country. i wouldn’t be surprised if it reached the 30’s (Celsius) in Oct.
Oh and you could probably go whale-watching around then too….if you’re into that sort of thing…..
Also try and go to Cairns.
August 12, 2013 — 9:22 AM
Carl Sinclair says:
Hey Chuck,
I wouldn’t worry too much. Australia is like a little America in many ways. Sure there are some differences in culture but really you should be fine.
I live here, over west in Perth. We love our beer. We love our bbq. We love our sports. You will be welcomed with open arms.
As for things that can eat/kill you. I wont lie to you, there is a lot. Most things, even the cute Kangaroo can do some damage. The bonus is, in the cities, you are unlikely to see any of them, unless you go to the zoo.
I have never seen a snake, crocodile, scorpion or anything scary in all my years. Spiders are about, but we are set up to save you if you do get bit (Sorry, no Spider-Man powers for you).
It is a shame you will be over east. I would happily guide you around for free, keeping you out of the grips of drop bears.
I just checked with the wife, she said it’s fine for you to stay in our spare room if you come to Perth. Lovely city. The room has it’s on full bathroom and can be locked off from the rest of the house. Just let me know when your flight comes in. : )
I hope your trip goes well. Honestly, sad I wont be over east for a chance to meet you.
Enjoy Australia.
Regards
Carl
August 12, 2013 — 9:23 AM
Carl Sinclair says:
P.S.
One final thing.
Beer. There is lots of it. Lots and lots. I recommend a Pale Ale called Rogers. My favourite, I’m sure you will love it.
August 12, 2013 — 9:25 AM
Salomé Jones says:
Here’s my top jetlag tip. Sublingual melatonin. As an international traveler, I’ve found it really helps. Here’s a link to what I mean. http://astrosupplements.com/source-naturals-melatonin-sublingual-2-5mg-peppermint-120-tabs.html It’s natural. Something your body makes and secrets at your habitual bedtime. One tab under the tongue. You can also use it on the plane by calculating when the normal sleeping time will be in your destination and take it about eight hours before you get there. It works well after you get home, too.
August 12, 2013 — 9:44 AM
Jemima Pett says:
Rule one of going to Australia. Read the rules and don’t let that festering apple/.orange/ banana that’s been in the bottom of your bag enter the plane with you. Or at least, don’t let it out of the plane. No foodstuffs allowed. Or other substances.
Rule two, give yourself plenty of time or don’t sightsee. It’s a big beautiful country and going to NT for 4 days is a bit like going to the top of the Grand Canyon and saying you’ve seen America. Chill out a bit and plan the big camping trip with the family in ten years time. Having said that, I wouldn’t have missed my five days in the Cairns area (including Daintree and Cape Tribulation beach) for anything
I’d stick to the things in the cities you fly into – if you get a stopover in Sydney or Melbourne, take it and explore the harbour or the city. Take the ferry to Manly from Sydney harbour, you get a much better view of the place, and much cheaper. Manly beach is better than Bondi (sorry, Bondi!) Take the tram anywhere you like in Melbourne. Take the boat trip upriver in Brisbane to the koala sanctuary. Visit an art gallery – they are all great – and if possible, lurk behind a group of schoolkids being shown around, you’ll learn so much about Australian art that way. Don’t get arrested though.
Handy heat converter 28=82 (C to F) above that, it’s roughly 1 C to 2 F. (it’s 5 to 9 but who cares).
I’m jealous. Have a great time 🙂
August 12, 2013 — 9:45 AM
Helen says:
In Australia everything is poisonous. Especially taxi drivers and sheep. It’s a miracle anyone survives more than a few minutes here.
If you do survive the wildlife long enough to want to call home,get a cheap pre-paid sim for your cell phone. It’ll work here as long as the handset is unlocked. $30 should cover you for a fortnight or so. The other option is paying a bajillion dollars ($US not local) per second/text/MB of data.
Don’t drink XXXX beer. It’s vile. If you have to choose between it and sobriety, stay sober. Really. There is no other alcohol I would say that of.
August 12, 2013 — 9:54 AM
Mozette says:
Actually there’s some great home brews hitting the pubs and clubs now; as well as the gourmet American beers which have been imported. You just have to look for them.
I know this as my brother is a home brewer and he enjoys heading out to pubs and trying out home brews that have hit the market that are different to his. 😀
August 12, 2013 — 10:08 PM
Meagen Voss says:
I studied abroad at the University of Queensland for a semester, and it was a BLAST. You’re going to have so much fun. Rather than bombard you with a long list, I have three things to recommend.
1) Check out Pancake Manor. It’s like a high quality IHOP that’s open 24/7, only it’s housed in an old cathedral AND has a bar. It is by far one of the most memorable places I’ve ever dined at and it’s kid friendly.
2) If your kiddo is amused by animals, you can visit the Lone Pine Koala Sanctuary to get up close and personal with some koalas, kangaroos, and other non-poisonous Australian wildlife. You can even feed the kangaroos, which are more slobbery than one would expect, but all the kids I saw there were having a blast. Plus you can reach the sanctuary via Brisbane public transport.
3) If you are not bound to stay in Brisbane, I HIGHLY recommend seeing the Great Barrier Reef. I spent some time on Heron Island. Granted, I stayed at the research station, which is far cheaper than the resort. You can get get midweek specials for the resort or if you’re feeling ballsy, you can contact a researcher at University of Brisbane and ask if you can do some writerly “research” by shadowing them as they do their work on the island. The research accommodations are pretty much bunk beds, but at least you would have have a roof over your head and flushing toilets. The island is very remote, absolutely gorgeous, and chock full of wildlife. Imagine turtles bigger than your toddler and reefs with more colors than the rainbow. It’s totally worth it, and Professor Ian Tibbetts, the zany British ex-pat who gave us the lecture on “Things That Can Kill You” before we went out in the field would probably be more than happy to give you tips on visiting the island (and what critters you should avoid). Wonderful man that Professor Tibbetts.
Two other quick things to note: 1) Australia has cuter possums than we do in America, and they DO bite, so encourage the kiddo to steer clear no matter how cute and cuddly they look. 2) Instead of squirrels, Brisbane has brush turkeys. They used to invade our dorm hallways and kitchen all the time. If you don’t bug them, they won’t bug you.
Wow. That was longer than I wanted it to be. But I think it’s because I’m jealous of you. Have fun!
August 12, 2013 — 10:44 AM
snellopy says:
I just got back from three weeks on the Sunshine Coast, which is an hour and a bit north of Brisbane. It was still warm enough for us to play in the sea though there were a few days where we were in jumpers (but not everyone was).
Australia’s beers used to be based heavily on state lines, there’s still some of that today, but not as much as in the past. Each state has at least one big famous one (though I don’t know all of them off the top of my head) and there’s a host of microbreweries and specialist product lines. Homebrew is also fairly popular too. I had a mate who did an awesome chilli chocolate beer.
The famous Queensland brewery is XXXX. There was a new (to me at least, I haven’t been back for years) variant called XXXX Summer Bright Lager which went down a treat. The tap had a picture of a thong and some palm trees.
The main NSW brewery is Tooheys, often with their stag on the tap handles. I like their Old (a dark beer, but you’re unlikely to get it in Brisbane I guess) and their extra dry.
Coopers is from SA, their Pale Ale is great in a bottle (some people roll it to mix up the sediment, some people look on that as an affront. I don’t care one way of the other) and can sometimes be found on tap.
Boags is Tasmanian, and they’re not too bad either. You don’t often see them on tap up north though, but the bottles are good.
Little Creatures Pale Ale is from WA and is definitely worth your time to try a couple of pints.
James Squire’s taps normally have shovels on them, and all of them are solid choices.
If you’re lucky enough to find somewhere that has Beez Neez on tap, then count yourself lucky and settle in for an extended session. A honey based wheat beer, it is shit your pants fantastic, but I guess their name sells better.
I definitely second the bit about quarantine being pretty extreme – we were eating something from the lychee family at the airport here in Vietnam before we left, and our daughter spilled about 3 drops of the juice of one on a backpack. The sniffer dog picked it up, and we got sent to the To Declare red line. I was planning to head for it anyway, as it is often a shorter line and I find it moves a lot faster ticking stuff to declare and then listing the tiny bits of wood and food that you have as they often just wave you on.
August 12, 2013 — 10:46 AM
M.H. Lee says:
A further comment on what PeeWee said above. I went to Australia with my brother many years ago and he chews tobacco and almost went crazy during the two weeks we were there, because he hadn’t brought his own supply. He tried smoking (couldn’t–messed with his lungs) and even tried opening up a cigarette and using the tobacco as chew (not a good idea). (So, for anyone reading this who does chew and wants to go to Australia, keep that in mind.)
Everyone was incredibly friendly while we were there and we found it incredibly easy to use public transportation to get around. (We were in Sydney.)
If you can, spend some time at a pub watching cricket or rugby with some locals.
August 12, 2013 — 11:09 AM
TymberDalton says:
Everything can kill you: sharks, snakes, spiders, kangaroos (claws, man!), koalas, crocodiles, and Tasmanian Devils.
That said, I know several people in Australia, and they seem to all be friendly people. So hopefully the people won’t kill you. 🙂
If you can, go see Uluru (Ayers Rock). A friend of mine went during his trip to the Sydney Olympics and said it was breathtaking.
August 12, 2013 — 11:26 AM
Lynn Johnston says:
You will think you’re being smart by scheduling your horrendously-long flight overnight, planning to sleep on the plane for most of the flight so you’ll be ready to see the sights when you land the next morning.
But when you get on the plane, you will find yourself in a seat that immediately causes a pain to start in your butt and that spreads down both legs and up your spine.
You will be sandwiched between a talkative Chinese businessman and a gawky teenager whose elbows have nowhere to go but your ribs.
If you attempt to escape this nightmare by drugging yourself to sleep, you will have Ambien nightmares where your former schoolteachers become face-eating demons who munch on your nose while forcing you to proofread the collected works of e.e. cummings, insisting that the entire manuscript be grammatically correct and properly spelled.
If you manage not to kill anyone during your 14 hour flight and are not thrown into an Aussie prison upon landing, you will have an amazing time Down Under. Friendly people, fantastic beaches, lots of great Asian food (dishes you can’t find in the states, and not-so-Americanized versions of dishes you already know) and awesome weather.
DO NOT PASS UP THE OPPORTUNITY TO VISIT SAN CHURRO’S–A CHOCOLATE STORE NAMED AFTER A FAKE SAINT WITH THE BEST 70% DARK YOU WILL EVER EAT. Try their chocolate milkshake–thinner than the American variety, but with an intense chocolate flavor in creamy form.
Also, if you go to Perth, there is a fabulous scifi-fantasy bookstore called White Dwarf Books. I was there last year, told the person manning the store I was an American interested in discovering some Aussie authors, and he spent almost an hour pulling books off the shelves and making recommendations. Sadly I could only fit about a quarter of his must-reads into my suitcase. In hindsight, I would have set aside time for a trip to the post office to ship all the books I wanted to buy home. 🙂
Hope you have a fabulous time!
-Lynn
August 12, 2013 — 11:40 AM
Girl Detective says:
Hey! So Melbourne is the best city in Aus. for live music (although there’s good stuff everywhere). If that’s a thing that interests you, there is something absolutely excellent on almost every night of the week for free or very cheap, especially at the moment bluegrass, folk, weird country, roots and similar. So many of the best kind of artists: ones who take their art seriously without taking themselves seriously.
Hard to recommend something specific so far in advance and without knowing your tastes, but if you head this way please feel free to email me and I’ll make you up a little gig guide for the nights you’re here, mckinleyvalentine at gmail dot com
For example! Here is horror-country band Graveyard Train playing Scarecrow: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9xo_XUzjzbQ
In Brisbane the best venue for live local music is probably The Joynt
I would seriously recommend not restricting yourself to Brisbane though. Ideally by catching a plane to Melbourne! Melb also has the best *cheap* food (every city in the world has some first-class restaurants, but Melbourne has the best minimum standard, if that makes sense) (also the best coffee, but along with that, the most coffee-wankery, so it’s kind of a trade-off).
Also in Melbourne: The Wheeler Centre for Books, Writing & Ideas, which has free or cheap events on every day related to those things.
If you go to Sydney, there’s a couple of city blocks called the Book Quarter (well… I call it that) near Parliament, containing:
Kinokuniya, the biggest bookstore in the southern hemisphere (huge range of graphic novels too)
Galaxy, an amazing and friendly speculative fic bookstore with a lot of back catalogue stuff and knowledgeable staff (like you can go in saying “I feel like reading about magical bartenders today, what’ve you got?”)
A military bookstore, a history bookstore (with a lot of original source books, like a copy of the Domesday Book, squee!) and uh, a new age bookstore
August 12, 2013 — 12:05 PM
feralbulb says:
Rosie and I spent 20 years down in Sydney and… and to cut a story short, yeah, that’s where you should be headed if you can, aside Brisbane.
One definite warning about OZ, it’s been named the land of Eternity (did Rosie say that?). You see, there’s a theatre in Sydney that’s just opened that is named the ‘Eternity Playhouse’ because there used to be a beggar who wandered the Sydney streets writing ‘Eternity’ in a beautiful hand writing on pavements and walls (http://www.nma.gov.au/collections-search/display?irn=60237). Fuck, Chuck, so much to do and so little time. Why not take B-Dud Wolverine meet the real man behind Wolverine, Hugh Jackman, another Ozzie? Fox studios are in Sydney too, don’t miss them (cheaper to make a movie Down Under). Also, they serve a killer cappuccino in Sydney and Wolverine wives would kill for them if you let them.
Now, just like you suspect, there is a koala plague (at night people turn into eucalyptus tree destroyers using beams and corn and beards), not to mention a wallaby plague. But just in case you didn’t know it, the spiders, when not venomously deadly, can be friendly, pretty, (long legs for the huntsman and others), and could do well in the fur coat industry if anyone would consider it.
Anyway, things to do: crocodiles wrestling and sharks’ and box jelly fish eye poking competitions are the norm. For you, however, I recommend the NSW Writers Center in Balmain (a nice Sydney suburb where Brian Brown and wife Rachel Wark live, remember ‘The Thorn Birds’?).. Tim Daly, a playwright works at the centre (http://timothydalywriter.com/awards-and-endorsements). We took lessons from him even if it doesn’t look like it. He wrote Kafka Dances and had Cate Blanchett play in it. You should try and meet him by going to the centre which is in a gorgeous park.
Else meet me friends the SuperPsychics of Sydney, some of them writers, no lunatics, no Americanos-bizzaros stuff, real people with emotions overflowing with beer (Foster’s lager, XXXX, not to mention platypuses). Let me know if you wanna know more ‘bout them.
More on ‘Eternity’: what happens when you live the country is that, once high in the sky (assuming the hole you dug is clogged), you will see below, on the red Ozzy land, the word ‘Eternity’ written in beautiful long hand. No one knows how it got there but, I have no doubt that if you borrow my eyes, you won’t fail to see it. Struth? No, no kidding, for sure.
Enjoy your trip!
August 12, 2013 — 12:08 PM
Donna Hutt Stapfer Bell says:
Fella and I visited Brisbane, Gold Coast/Surfers Paradise in November, 2005.
Be prepared for a higher level of fiscal accountability, with few insurance options to cover them. Renting a car was terrifying because if we wrecked it, there was no insurance policy available to us to cover the damages – either by the renting agency or my private policy here in the States. We would have been on the hook for the entire cost of the car, lost earnings, the lot – in cash, right on the spot. When we checked into the timeshare, they took nearly ALL of my spending money in deposits (that I had not been told about ahead of time, either by the property or my timeshare exchange office – nasty). They expect you to trash EVERYTHING on sight – so they are going to expect some increased security from you.
That said, I never met an unhappy Australian. Find the local farmer’s market and when it’s open and use it as much as you can. Found a nifty place for breakfast near ours that couldn’t be beat.
Learn to love broiled tomatoes for breakfast, BTW. Yum!
They are serious about bringing in anything agriculturally oriented. Don’t bring food, unless you REALLY must. The dogs alerted on gummy bears at customs. No kidding.
Where we were, Eastern Water Dragons ran around outside like you would expect to see feral cats here. They’re about the size of mid-range kittens, gray, scaley, very lizardy and I adored them.
It looked like San Diego and felt like Hawaii.
Learn to love the roundabout.
Cadbury rules the chocolate bar roost there, where you expect to see Mars/Hershey/Nestle here.
There are chicken ribs at the fast food places. Sliced beets in the cheeseburgers (and it’s GOOD).
Take the direct flights – they rock. If you get on one of the A380 planes, I want pictures!
August 12, 2013 — 12:26 PM
David says:
handy tip, Google converts units by typing it in the search bar. It might help you at some point since they use the correct system of measure in Oz.
Wait, you guys do have Google in Australia, right?
August 12, 2013 — 12:36 PM
emmylu28 says:
I read through a lot of the comments you’ve got and everyone is giving you super awesome, practical advice. This post is for you sir, hope you like it.
http://ginger128.wordpress.com/2013/08/13/you-want-to-know-about-australia-eh-chuck/
August 12, 2013 — 2:08 PM
Eric B says:
1. Australians are almost universally laid back and friendly. Seriously, they rock.
2. So are New Zealanders, if you decide to double-up the trip.
3. However, there seems to be some strange animosity between the two cultures. Kind of like the US/Canada thing but with less maple syrup and a tiny bit more venom.
4. Go to Uluru/Ayers Rock. It’s strange and otherworldly and also a very large rock. But don’t climb it. That’s disrespectful to the aborigines.
5. For me, the Sydney Harbor bridge climb was a letdown. It’s made out to be an adrenalized adventure. It is actually a slow, expensive amble up more stairs than is necessary. Nice view, though.
6. There is a convenience store near the bridge that sells a food item in a box marked “Chicago Pizza”. This is a lie. Do not fall for it.
6. The Sydney Opera house tour is interesting even if you hate opera.
7. The people who are writing about beets and fried eggs on a hamburger are correct. It is good.
8. If I recall, Aussies call ketchup “tomato sauce”. So watch for that.
9. There is much good beer there.
10. The lorikeets and lizards are indeed significantly awesome.
11. If you see a very large, blue-headed bird, don’t make it angry. It might kick your throat open with its dagger-toenail.
11. You probably know this, but just in case you don’t: The large ones are kangaroos, but the smaller ones are usually wallabies. And despite what you may think you know about Australian culture, it turns out you’re NOT supposed to punch them.
August 12, 2013 — 2:23 PM
Lea says:
Don’t say aborigines. That’s disrespectful to Aboriginals. It’s always capitalised and always end with -als. You can also say Indigenous.
August 15, 2013 — 10:32 AM
boydstun215 says:
Just one word: spiders.
Big. Fucking. Poisonous. Spiders.
‘Nuff said.
Check this out: http://www.australiangeographic.com.au/journal/australian-spiders-the-10-most-dangerous.htm
August 12, 2013 — 2:59 PM
Valerie Rind says:
Read Bill Bryson’s “In a Sunburned Country” before you go (so you have some idea what you’re getting into) and again after you return (so you can appreciate his incredible ability to be “spot on,” as they say).
August 12, 2013 — 4:20 PM
Rebekah Turner says:
GenreCon was amazing last year and this year it looks like it’s going to be even better. Can’t wait! A great place for a beverage after a hard day conferencing will be the Archive Beer Boutique or Lock’N’Load, both are walking distance. South Bank is close by, complete with lagoon swimming pool, great Greek food and giant ferris wheel called … The Wheel of Brisbane (If you check out the website for it, one of the scrolling images seem to suggest it goes faster than I would deem safe).
August 12, 2013 — 4:21 PM
decayingorbits says:
Oh — one other thing. Since you’ll be heading there in the summer, make sure you enjoy some cucumber sandwiches. Good stuff.
August 12, 2013 — 5:13 PM
Nicole says:
Hi Chuck
Great you’re coming to visit. When you get sunburnt the best option is aloe vera aftersun care gel. Green, gooey sticky gel that at Coles Supermarkets. Fantastic for easing the burn and making the peeling less intense. On an interesting side note, kids love to peel the dried goo off themselves. Keeps little ones (and my 40 year old brother) amused for hours.
Brissy will be hot and sticky and you’ll look for the rain. Any greenish tingy-colour in the clouds means hail is coming, get undercover. That applies to anywhere in the country, not just Brisbane.
if necessary ask for a translation. Most of us don’t expect Americans to understand everything we say. And it’s fun to confuse the tourists so maybe ask more than one person for the translation.
Hope you have a great time and can come back and see more than just the big areas. The remote and small places are less Americanised than the larger places.
August 12, 2013 — 7:03 PM
Veronica says:
Tasmania is the better end. I’m just saying. Also, DROP BEARS. Avoid trees and looking like a tourist at all costs. They’re sneaky. Can smell tourists a kilometre away.
August 12, 2013 — 7:42 PM
suelder says:
Mum and I went in 2011. Wonderful trip. Get up for a couple of minutes every hour during the flight – other wise you get elephant ankles.
If you can, see the Great Barrier Reef. Mum needed a replacement hip, so we took a semi-submersible boat. Very nice, no diving required. One of the most beautiful places on Earth.
Kangaroos cannot hop backwards – the tail gets in the way.
Coffee. The coffee is amazing. They have their own plantations in the north – we went on a tour. Cappuccino every day. 😀 (I still smile at the thought.)
Take pictures, take notes, be inspired. Have a great time!
August 12, 2013 — 8:25 PM
Whoa, Molly! says:
PLEASE COME TO SYDNEY AS I WILL COME TO SEE YOU AND DANCE ABOUT, YES DANCE.
Oz is a big fucking place. Full of nice people except for the ones who aren’t. Lots of stuff here might try to kill you, but you should be fine, I guess.
As for book stores, Kinokuniya in Sydney (just above Town Hall Station) is the shit and you should go there are do a signing/talk and I will come along (and DANCE!) and I’ll bring some friends and some cookies (except here we call then ‘biscuits’.) I am also available to show you the correct way to eat vegemite if needs be.
But really, do expand your trip to do the east coast (Bris/Syd/Melb). Each of the cities is vastly different and ti will give you a real idea of how fucking cool and varied this country is.
August 12, 2013 — 8:29 PM
Eliza says:
Yay Genrecon! Hopefully I will see you there!
The different cities are noticeably different in atmosphere and culture. Melbourne is to Sydney what San Francisco is to LA. The comparison between Brisbane and San Diego isn’t far off either, though Brisbane will be way more humid and warm.
You should listen to all of those beer recs! And do not under any circumstances drink XXXX or Fosters. Nobody here drinks those. They’re awful. We have many, many “craft” beer options that are worth a look instead.
Southbank in Brisbane is gorgeous. It’s definitely worth taking the time to explore tropical north Queensland, particularly Cairns or maybe one of the islands (Hamilton Island, Whitsundays, etc). You could definitely spend four or five days in each of Melbourne and Sydney, if you have the time to spend. Be aware that the temperature will vary MASSIVELY between cities – in contrast to Brisbane, Melbourne is in full winter mode at the moment – so if you decide to go down south, pack accordingly.
I was just in the US at Clarion Writers’ Workshop, so I’ve recently experienced the reverse culture shock to what you may have. Our toilets are not broken, I swear, and we don’t usually take doggie bags of food away after eating in a restaurant (so your portion sizes will be smaller!) We’ll understand all your Americanisms but you may not have any clue what we’re saying – that’s ok, just laugh and ask! Aussies are generally pretty chilled. And we’ll see you and raise you on the swearing front!
Hope you have an awesome trip!
August 12, 2013 — 8:58 PM
Tori says:
Please come visit us in Sydney!!! (Not so different, kind of like the Shelbyville to Springfield). Australian money is like monopoly money (COLOURFUL) We drive on the ‘right’ side of the road (i.e. the left) cigarettes are expensive (but that’s okay because beer is cheap!)
Have a safe trip hope you enjoy Australia 🙂 Please let us know if you decide to visit the other cities!
August 12, 2013 — 8:59 PM
Sarah Brabazon says:
Your followers are weird. Especially the Australian ones. It’s like we all swallowed the little book of Chuck.
I live in Tasmania, just down the road from Veronica. Everyone forgets we are here. It is like Hawaii, only cold and the locals wear more clothes. And Tassie is right next door to Antarctica.
You should drink Boags or Cascade beer though, and our cheeky wines, and whiskey… vodka… I have some right here… *sluuurp*
August 12, 2013 — 9:42 PM