I like to cook.
But I’m hell with desserts. I do make a mean ice cream these days (recipes forthcoming for my strawberry creme fraiche and Earl Grey vanilla mascarpone ice creams), but for the most part, I’m fucked when it comes to taking a tram-ride to Dessertsville.
Desserts?
MORE LIKE DESERTS AM I RIGHT?
…
I’m not proud, no.
Anyway, let’s hear your dessert recipes with one qualification that I’d really like said dessert recipes to be fairly easy. (Double-points if it includes no baking, but that’s by no means a requirement.) Assume I’m a dessert dipshit, and answer accordingly.
I’ll hang up and wait for your answer.
*click*
fredhicks says:
You have reminded me of the existence of the Chocolate Idiot Cake: http://www.davidlebovitz.com/2007/01/shf-27-chocolat-1/
April 29, 2013 — 12:08 AM
Emelle Gamble says:
My favorite dessert is Nestle semi-sweet chocolate chips. Open bag. Eat too many. They taste wonderful, better when alone and no one can cock an eyebrow at you.
On this theme…my favorite dessert quote was painted on the side of a little bistro in Alta Dena (or Pasadena…memory dims) in the early 1980’s…”My people are the people of the dessert, said T.E. Lawrence, picking up a fork.” There may have also been a picture of a hand, a plate, cake, and a fork. Or I’m making that up. But I do remember the quote accurately. Proof writers win over artists. And dessert.
April 29, 2013 — 12:10 AM
Veronica says:
Not the only one. *hides bags as little footsteps approach pantry door*
April 29, 2013 — 10:45 AM
Niki says:
It’s stupid-easy, but you should try covering a banana with peanut butter, then rolling it in rice krispies. If you slice it up it looks like some kind of fancy “dessert sushi”.
April 29, 2013 — 12:12 AM
fredhicks says:
That said, here’s my favorite, very easy dessert: marguerites. I’ll try to channel some Chuck style recipe prose for this.
Get a bunch of Ritz crackers, and some full size marshmallows, and some softened butter.
Baking sheet. Lay the Ritzes out on that thing. Put a marshmallow on top of each one. On top of each of those marshmallows, put a little dollop of butter, like a smeary delicious nipple.
Fire up your broiler. (You can do this smaller scale, with a toaster oven and a teensy sheet, but you will be sad you didn’t go for the OVEN SCALE, so fuck that toaster oven, if you’re into, uh, that sort of thing, and GO BIG.)
Slide that sheet on in.
Sit by the thing. Watch as the tops of those marshmallows start to get all brown and bubbly.
As they get medium-brown, bring ’em out. Or play chicken for the darker browns, and get the fuck out of there at the last possible moment. Once you go black you can’t go back.
Let them get slightly less molten, then eat those things. And get a change of pants. Because you’ll need one after you put these salty sweet buttery flaky yum-bombs on your quivering tongue.
April 29, 2013 — 12:12 AM
Delfina Hallett says:
Sinfully Delicious- Candied Bacon,
Yes I said bacon. 300 degree oven, cookie sheet, foil, bacon, and a shit load of brown sugar. Line cookie sheet with foil, cover with brown sugar. Then fan out bacon in layers, cover liberally with brown sugar. Cook,turn on the oven light and watch the magic,then drool as the aroma permeates your home. Drain oil when it looks like bacon is in danger of drowning. Turn bacon over and drool some more. Apply more brown sugar. Cooking time varies on how you like your bacon. This WILL be the BEST thing you will EVER eat. Candied bacon is good for bribing people to help you move, and to help you get rid of that body you’ve been meaning to dispose of.
April 29, 2013 — 12:26 AM
Ruth Dupre says:
Fake key lime pie
1 can of condensed frozen limeade
1 can of condensed milk
1 8oz tub of cool whip
1 graham cracker crust
Combine first three ingredients in a bowl. You can whip it with a beater but I’ve even mixed
it with a spoon. After thoroughly mixing, pour into crust. Cover. Put in fridge. Take out about an hour (or longer) later. Eat.
April 29, 2013 — 12:26 AM
Jessica Nelson says:
Apple Crisp
Tons of apples (preferably green)
1/2 C. Sugar
1 tsp. Cinnamon
1-1/2 C. Brown sugar
2 C. Flour
3/4 C. Crisco shortening
Dash of salt
Butter a 9×13″ glass baking dish. Peel and slice apples thin and fill baking dish.
Mix together sugar and cinnamon, and sprinkle over apples.
Mix brown sugar, flour, and salt together. Cut in shortening. Pour this mixture over the sliced apples and bake at 350* about 30 minutes. Serve warm with whipped cream or ice cream.
**this bubbles up a lot. Put a cookie sheet under your baking dish so you don’t make a mess of your oven.
April 29, 2013 — 12:29 AM
Jessica Nelson says:
Chocolate Meatballs
2 C. Creamy peanut butter
2 C. Powdered sugar
4 C. Rice Krispies
1/2 stick softened butter
Almond bark
Mix all but almond bark in a bowl. Form into 1″ balls by rolling between palms and place in freezer for 10-15 minutes to firm up.
Melt almond bark in a pan on the stove (low heat works best to prevent scalding, though you have to be patient). Dip balls into hot almond bark (I use tongs for this) and set aside on waxed paper to cool.
April 29, 2013 — 12:35 AM
Jessica Nelson says:
Pistachio Pudding Salad
1 large container Cool Whip
1 large container cottage cheese
2 pkgs instant pistachio pudding
1 C crushed pineapple, drained
1/2 jar maraschino cherries
1/2 bag mini marshmallows
Mix and refrigerate
April 29, 2013 — 12:39 AM
Nikki says:
Heavenly Hash
fresh whipped cream, with a few tsp of sugar plus a bit of Cointreau to taste
multi-coloured marshmallows chopped up or mini marshmallows
fresh berries – strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, etc in whatever configuration you like
(plus anything else you think might be tasty in the mix!)
Mix it all together and serve.
April 29, 2013 — 1:08 AM
Cameron Clemons says:
This is one of my favorite desserts, no muss and fuss, and few ingredients.
1 cup cream cheese frosting
Eat cup of cream cheese frosting
Best paired with a fifth of vodka, serves one
The best part of this recipe is that you can easily change the measurements if you plan on making it for bigger groups.
April 29, 2013 — 1:19 AM
Marcy Peska says:
This is an heirloom recipe from my paternal grandmother. 🙂 It makes a rich & moist chocolate cake that can be enjoyed w/o frosting.
Grandma Peska’s Mayonnaise Cake
1 cup sugar
2 cups flour
1 cup mayo
4 Tbs unsweetened cocoa powder
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 tsp baking soda dissolved in 1 cup warm water
Mix and pour into an 8 or 9 inch greased & floured pan.
Bake at 350F for 30-35 minutes
April 29, 2013 — 1:26 AM
T.L. Bodine says:
We have a ridiculous sweet tooth and (usually) zero cash, so I get creative.
Chocolate pudding:
1/4 cup flour
4 tbsp cocoa powder
6 tbsp sugar
2 tbsp butter
2 1/3 cups milk
1 tsp vanilla extract
Mix together all the dry ingredients. (you can mix them in bulk and make pudding mix for your cabinet, btw.) Melt the butter in a pan over low heat. Add the dry ingredients and mix together. Then add the milk and mix the crap out of it. Imagine that you’re making gravy, because that’s essentially exactly what you’re doing — rich chocolatey gravy.
Keep it on low heat and stir it frequently so it doesn’t burn on the bottom. When it gets thick enough that it coats the back of the spoon, take it off the heat and pour it into some bowls/ramekins/whatever. Cover with plastic wrap, touching the top if you don’t like pudding skin. (I happen to love pudding skin, but whatever). Chill for a couple hours or until you’re sick of waiting, then eat it. Om nom nom.
Fun fact: You can also freeze this mixture in a popsicle mold for a fuckin’ fudge-sicle.
April 29, 2013 — 1:29 AM
Rebecca says:
Ok, one of my absolute favourite no cook easy dessert recipes is Passion Fruit Mousse.
Ingredients:
• 6-8 passion fruits
• 1 TBSP white sugar
• 1 (14 ounce) can sweetened condensed milk
• 2 cups cream
Instructions:
1. Cut the passion fruits in half and empty their contents into a bowl. Mix the contents of the bowl with your hands to soften pulp.
2. Strain the pulp through a sieve or cheesecloth.
3. Stir in sugar and sweetened condensed milk.
4. In a chilled bowl, beat cream until stiff peaks form.
5. Fold 1/3 of the cream into the passion fruit mixture, then quickly fold in remaining cream until no streaks remain.
6. Refrigerate for 1 hour.
7. Enjoy!
April 29, 2013 — 1:36 AM
Veronika Lazabal says:
Truffles, bitch. Chop up some bittersweet chocolate, toss into a bowl with heavy cream. Put that bowl over a pot of gently boiling water. (Double boiler)
Stir the mixture until it’s all melted and smooth and delicious. Refrain from eating it all at this stage. Pop it in the fridge for about an hour, until it sets up. Scoop out about walnut sized rounds, roll into a ball with your hands, and then roll in cocoa powder.
You can also roll them in anything else that suits your fancy — shredded coconut, Oreo crumbs, sprinkles, cocaine, whatever. Chill for about 15 minutes and consume.
April 29, 2013 — 2:17 AM
Michala Tyann says:
I’m in the same boat with desserts. Ugh…I like the basic $1.00 box of pineapple upside down cake and the $.88 can of crushed pineapple. LOL Pour the can w/juice in a lightly greased cake pan, stir ingredients called for on box and pour over it. Bake and voila.
If that is too much for you. A $.50 box of no-bake vanilla pudding, a $1.00 box of vanilla wafers, and a banana and you have brilliant tasting banana pudding. YUM!
April 29, 2013 — 2:53 AM
Jessa Slade says:
These mint choco brownies are awesome! Also, cheap. Also also, you bake it in a 13×9 pan. Which is mathematically more awesome than an 8×8 pan.
1 box Duncan Hines Chewy Fudge Brownie Mix (Yes, it’s a box. Don’t get fancy. At my store, it runs 99 cents so you can splurge on the forthcoming chocolate.)
Make brownie mix according to the “fudgier” directions (only 2 eggs, not 3). And under-bake slightly. Do NOT risk brownie dryness.
When the brownie has cooled, spread whatever remains (cuz of course you eat some fresh out of the oven) with the mint layer:
Mint layer:
3 tablespoons of softened butter (Real butter, please.)
1 1/2 cups of powdered sugar (Don’t bother sifting. Does anybody ever bother sifting?)
1 teaspoon of real mint extract (Real mint extract. You will taste the difference.)
2 tablespoons-ish of milk
Use a hand mixer to mix to spreading consistency. Spread on remaining brownies.
Choco layer
Melt a bunch (technical baking term) of good dark chocolate (I like the Trader Joe’s 1-lb 72% dark bar) with some butter. About 3/4 cup or so of broken choco chunks and 2 Tablespoons of butter seems to do it. Slather melted choco over the mint layer. Save remaining choco for emergencies.
Super easy, super yummy, transports well to parties. And they keep your breath fresh.
April 29, 2013 — 3:09 AM
Aubyanne Meletio Poulter says:
I’m sure this is not what you’re asking for, but, why the fuck not.
When I was about eight, and too young to do any real cooking, I prided myself on what I now affectionately call ‘Total Tard Pudding’. Then, it was my signature mousse. (Hey, I was eight.)
I basically took a metric asstonne of Jell-o (or similar) pudding – chocolate, typically – and later caramel. Or maybe butterscotch. Fuck, if I recall. If you’re with me this far, just jot down ‘brownish golden colour (not chocolate or vanilla’) and you’re, well, golden.
Toss that shit in a big ass bowl – or whatever’s handy, disinfected, and has vague resemblance to a bowl. (This is for tards, remember.)
Take that not-yet-moulding tub of Cool Whip (or the cheap-ass knock-off, whatever floats it), and land about five ginormous ladlefuls of that delicious coronary waiting to happen. (MmmMM. Blocked arteries.) Or maybe six. Or seven. You get the point – you’re lazy, don’t forget, not Betty Fucking Crocker. More like Betty Whata Crock. (Which should be my username on any recipe site.)
You should have a lumpy, sad mixture of white shit on top of the chocolate pudding of your choice. (Nothing homemade, though. Don’t be a Nazi.)
Beat the fuck out of it. Like it owes you money. Like Chris Brown loves Rihanna. Like it’s your cock. Or Chris Brown’s cock. Or Rihanna’s. (You … get the idea.)
You’ll know when it’s done. Even a tard can tell when this shit is ready. But, on the off-chance you’re somehow dumber than a single-cell organism, make sure it’s light and fluffy. Something you might be able to pass off as mousse. To an individual who doesn’t know or give a fuck about cuisine. Maybe your friends. Maybe, your own discerning taste buds – the wily bastards.
Do the same to your choice of golden pudding, whichever it may be. (‘Yellow Snow’ a flavour I would not recommend. Nor ‘Sulphuric Spice’. These are just unwise.)
Throw the golden shit on top of the brown shit in some kind of clear glass. (Because you want to SEE that shit.)
Grab a spoon. Dig in, motherfucker.
(Author’s Note: I was as cheeky, but not nearly as foul-mouthed during the actual creation of this recipe. It’s aged with snark, as have I.)
Happy desert-hunting. (Because it IS spelt that way in UK English.)
April 29, 2013 — 3:23 AM
karenprince0 says:
Most simple and most delicious recipe ever: Halva ice cream. Incase you don’t know, Halva is a confection with a very distinct taste, consisting of crushed sesame seeds in a binder of honey. Usually available from a Greek deli. Google it.
Chuck, since you already know how to make ice cream, just substitute Halva for whatever other flavoring you usually use. The rest of you, buy vanilla ice cream, chop up the Halva and mix it in. Put back in the freezer.
April 29, 2013 — 3:41 AM
Meredith McCardle says:
You’re speaking my language. I know easy desserts. This one is a favorite and it’s one you can eat and not feel remotely guilty about.
Strawberries with Balsamic Cream
1 cup part-skim ricotta
2 Tbsp. honey
1/2 tsp. vanilla
3 Tbsp. balsamic vinegar
2 Tbsp. sugar
16 oz. strawberries
Combine balsamic and sugar in a saucepan, bring to a boil, then simmer for 2 minutes while stirring constantly. Then toss in a food processor with ricotta, honey and vanilla. Process until smooth. Transfer mixture to a bowl, cover and refrigerate for at least 2 hours. Serve with strawberries.
April 29, 2013 — 6:24 AM
Daniel R. Davis says:
Numtung Rum Cake
Ingredients:
1 C. Chopped Nuts
18 oz. Box Yellow Cake Mix
One 3 ¾ oz. Box Vanilla Pudding Mix
4 Eggs
½ C. Water
½ C. Oil/Melted Butter
½ C. Rum
Glaze
¼ lb. Butter
½ C. Water
½ C. Sugar
½ C. 151 Rum
Directions:
1) Preheat oven to 325. 2) Mix together all ingredients except nuts. 3) Sprinkle nuts over bottom of Bundt Pan. 4) Pour batter over nuts and bake 1 hour. 5) Cool completely and invert onto platter. 6) Poke holes in top of cake. 7) Melt butter for glaze in a medium saucepan. 8) Mix in water and sugar and boil for 5 minutes. 9) Remove from heat and add rum.
Notes:
Best rum cake recipe ever. Dad got this from a friend of his and gave it to me. It’s an awesome recipe and it’s still alcoholic, so watch giving a bunch to the kiddies. Or heck, feed ‘em enough to make ‘em drowsy. 😉
April 29, 2013 — 7:09 AM
Daniel R. Davis says:
And since someone already posted crisp (one of my favorite desserts with a good dollop of homemade ice-cream on top), here’s an alternate topping. My family’s always used butter in ours. And this isn’t the oatmeal kind. Never cared for that one.
Crisp Topping
Ingredients:
1 C. Sugar ½ C Butter
1/4 tsp Salt 3/4 C Flour
April 29, 2013 — 7:13 AM
Daniel R. Davis says:
You can also use biscuit dough to make a variety of things, including donuts. Get yourself some biscuits in a can, cut each one in quarters, roll ’em into balls, deep-fry ’em, roll ’em in powdered sugar, cocoa and powdered sugar, or cinnamon and sugar, eat. You can also use them as the top for cobbler, which is sort of like a fruit crisp in method, but with a different top. 😉 Don’t get the Grands, but I’d recommend buttermilk biscuits if you’re doing the quickie donuts.
I’m a dessert fiend. I’ll see what else I can track down in my recipes.
April 29, 2013 — 7:21 AM
Daniel R. Davis says:
Robert’s Cherry Pie Cups
Ingredients:
1 box frozen puff pastry sheets (2 sheets)
1 can Cherry pie filling
Directions:
1) Let puff pastry thaw according to package directions and unfold 2) Take one sheet and, using a 4 inch round pastry cutter, cut 6 rounds; repeat with a second sheet 3) Grease muffin pan and preheat oven to 400o 4) Score rounds with a fork to prevent them from over-puffing and push a round into each cup 5) Fill with 1-2 tbsp of filling each and bake for 20 minutes, or until the filling is bubbly and the puff pastry is golden brown 6) Let cool for 15 minutes and run a thin knife around the edges and remove 7) Serve immediately with a scoop of ice cream or refrigerate until ready to use
Notes:
My brother Robert made this recipe up. He says: “If you want to just make 6 cups just use 1 sheet. You can freeze scraps for later use or use to make a cross pattern on top. if you have left over filling, heat in a pan over med heat and add sugar to taste. Now here is the fun part; I used about 2 shots of black velvet. Mix well. Adjust sugar/whiskey mix to taste. Add whipped topping to the pies and drizzle mix on top. Hit it with some powdered sugar and a sprig of mint and serve.”
April 29, 2013 — 7:26 AM
Daniel R. Davis says:
Butternut Squash Muffins with Rum-Soaked Raisins
3/4 cups all-purpose flour
3/4 C Cake Flour
1 1/4 teaspoon baking powder
1 1/3 C Cooked Butternut Squash
2 large eggs
2 teaspoon pumpkin-pie spice
1 C Brown Sugar
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 C raisins, soaked overnight in 70-80 Proof Rum
1) Put oven in middle position and preheat to 350°F. 2) Spray non-stick butter spray in muffin tins. 3) Whisk together pumpkin, eggs, sugar, in a large bowl until smooth; set aside. 4) Sift flours, pumpkin pie spice, baking powder, baking soda, and salt together. 5) Pour wet onto dry and mix in just until the batter comes together (yes there are lumps, they’ll work out on their own). 6) Fold in drained raisins. 7) Portion batter into the tins, about 3/4 of the way full (I use a disher). 8) Bake until puffed and golden brown and wooden pick or skewer inserted into the center of a muffin comes out clean, 20 to 25 minutes. 9) Cool in pan on a rack five minutes; transfer muffins from pan to rack and cool to warm or room temperature.
April 29, 2013 — 7:32 AM
Daniel R. Davis says:
Made this as part of a dessert for a meal I invited family over for one night. Goes well with raspberries or strawberries…or by itself with a spoon.
Limoncello Mousse
4 Egg Yolks
Grated Zest of 2 Lemons
1 Envelope Gelatin
2 C. Heavy Whipping Cream
2/3 C. Sugar
3/4 C. Limoncello liqueur
1) Combine egg yolks, Limoncello, zest, sugar, and place in a double boiler, whisking until thickened. 2) Remove from heat and beat with a whip on medium speed until cooled and thick. 3) In a heat-proof bowl, combine gelatin and 1/4 cup of the Limoncello; allow to soak for 5 minutes. 4) Place bowl over a pan of simmering water until gelatin is melted; remove bowl and allow to cool. 5) Whip heavy cream just until stiff peaks form. 6) Whisk gelatin mixture into yolk mixture. 7) Fold in whipped cream gently until incorporated; chill in refrigerator until ready to serve.
April 29, 2013 — 8:36 AM
Daniel R. Davis says:
Forgot: In step 1, just use 1/2 c of the Limoncello.
April 29, 2013 — 8:37 AM
Ellen M. Gregg says:
Chocomole (or, The Best Chocolate Pudding You’ll Ever Have)
Into a small blender or a food processor, add:
– the flesh of one ripe avocado
– a frozen ripe banana, sliced
– 1/4-1/3 cup milk (I use non-dairy)
– 1 tbsp maple syrup
– a dash each cinnamon and cayenne
Blend/process it until combined and smooth. Turn it into a bowl, or just grab a spoon and go for it. Mind you don’t cut your tongue licking the blades clean. 🙂
April 29, 2013 — 8:02 AM
Ellen M. Gregg says:
Umm… Thanks to Lisa Hendrix, I’d like to add the ingredient that makes this Chocomole: 1 1/2 tbsp dark cocoa powder. 🙂
April 29, 2013 — 3:22 PM
Reay Jespersen says:
So these suggestions are assuming that “desserts” may just be seen as quick, easy, tasty hits of sweet with a bare minimum of effort on your part to prepare after dinner. Or lunch. Or… y’know… breakfast.
1) Sliced apples dipped in caramel sauce. You can get little tubs of caramel sauce (refrigerated, usually in the fruit/veggie area of grocery stores), slice up an apple — I’m normally a honeycrisp man, but in this case it’s effectively a vehicle for the caramel, so the kind of apple doesn’t much matter — and dip/scoop those badboys into the caramel.
2) Vanilla icecream with maple syrup. That about says it all. Dole out the icecream and then instead of any kind of chocolate or fudge topping, just pour some maple syrup on it. Here I’ll risk sounding like a stereotypical Canadian and underscoring that the kind of maple syrup matters for any maple syrup use, including this one. I’m talking the real deal, from a tree and everything, not any Aunt Jemima sugar water crap.
April 29, 2013 — 8:29 AM
Cat York says:
Since I have all sorts of allergies, so one of our go-to desserts is brown-sugared pears. Pan-fry cut pears or apples with butter, brown sugar, and squeeze of lemon. I know it’s like … duh, but people forget dessert can be that simple. Very yum over ice cream.
April 29, 2013 — 8:32 AM
Daniel R. Davis says:
I do that with sliced bananas and a splash of rum. Sort of like a bananas foster.
April 29, 2013 — 8:41 AM
Deepa says:
Forgive the shameless plug but there are a couple on my blog:
http://onesmallpot.com/2013/02/12/save-the-day-mango-dessert/
And
http://onesmallpot.com/2013/02/22/flourless-chocolate-cake/
April 29, 2013 — 8:35 AM
delilah says:
These are the best from-scratch-you-have-on-hand brownies you will ever put in your mouth, unless you find actual tiny, helpful elves and fry them. http://delilahpaints.blogspot.com/2010/09/unruly-recipe-breaking-girl-brownies.html Bonus pic of me in nerd glasses and zombieface.
April 29, 2013 — 8:40 AM
Katja says:
The easiest recipe ever:
Play nice with a friend or passing stranger.
Mention your love, and lack of dessert in your life, but keep it nonchalant.
Wait for the inevitable invite.
Go.
Eat.
April 29, 2013 — 8:41 AM
Leila says:
Mini berry pies. This is good for two ramekin-sized pies, and you can bake in the toaster oven. Unless you’re multiplying for a fuckton of people.
Get pre-made rolled pie crust. Unroll it. Cut four circles, slightly bigger than ramekins. Rub them ramekins with a little butter, or spray with olive oil. Press a dough round into each ramekin. Bake empty crusts for 10 minutes at 350. Remove empty crusts from oven.
Fill crusts with berries mixed with a little sugar. Fresh or frozen works. Pop a dough round on top of each ramekin. Poke holes. Pop that shit back in the (toaster) oven. Bake another 10-15ish minutes, until the top crusts starts to tan.
Pull out of the oven. TRY to wait for them to cool. Yummy, easy, and decent for portion control if you’re into that sort of thing.
April 29, 2013 — 8:48 AM
Brandi E. says:
Invest in a good trifle dish. You can layer anything in one. Our fave, brownies layered with canned cherries, whipped cream mixed with vanilla pudding and chocolate chips. Looks pretty and tastes great. Or summer berries, layered with angel food cake and whip cream. It’s pretty endless and very easy.
April 29, 2013 — 9:00 AM
Shecky says:
You make ice cream, huh? Assuming you have an ice cream maker (i.e., the machine, not the old-fashioned spinny bucket, yuh Luddite), I’m putting this post in as a placeholder for my wife’s lemon Italian ice recipe. It is the PERFECT summertime snort of sweet.
April 29, 2013 — 9:01 AM
Melinda VanLone says:
I take this to all pot lucks and it’s scarfed…I always bring home an empty pan. I think it’s the name:
Cherry Dump Cake
Ingredients:
1 can (16 oz.) crushed pineapple
1 can (20 oz.) cherry pie filling
1 pkg. yellow cake mix
1/2 to 2/3 c. chopped nuts (or as many as you like, whatever kind you have. I use chopped pecans.)
1 stick of butter
Lightly grease a 9 x 13 inch pan with Pam, or butter. Dump in the can of pineapple, spread evenly. Dump in the can of pie filling, spread it as evenly as you can. Dump in the dry cake mix and spread over the fruit. Dump on the nuts, and, you guessed it, spread them out. Slice the butter into thin squares and lay them evenly over the top of all that. Do NOT mix together. Bake at 350 for 1 hour. Done, and AWESOME! Add ice cream on the side for extra goodness.
April 29, 2013 — 9:09 AM
Justin D. Jacobson (@JustinDJacobson) says:
If you want something fancy and traditional but that’s super easy, you can’t go wrong with Bananas Foster. It’s basically sauteed bananas. You like to saute for the main course; why can’t you saute up some bananas? Plus, though the flambe part is not essential, it’s not that difficult and damn sexy. Plus, it goes great over ice cream, which you’ve already admitted you have some proficiency with.
Alton Brown’s recipe is a good place to start: http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/alton-brown/bananas-foster-recipe/index.html
April 29, 2013 — 9:15 AM
Joe says:
TUNNEL OF FUDGE CHEESECAKE
Crust
1 1/4 cups graham cracker crumbs
1/4 cup sugar
1/3 cup melted butter
1/2 cup finely chopped pecans
Cheesecake
5 (8 ounce) packages cream cheese
1 1/2 cups sugar
5 eggs
1/4 cup flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup cream
3 ounces semisweet chocolate
1/2 cup milk chocolate chips
1 tablespoon vanilla
Directions:
1. For crust, preheat oven to 400. Mix all ingredients and press into the bottom of a 9 inch spring form pan and bake 5 minutes.
2. Bring all cheesecake ingredients to room temperature before starting.
3. Beat cream cheese and sugar till fluffy and then add eggs one at a time. Beat after each is added.
4. Add flour cream and salt.
5. Take out 2 cups of filling. In a small bowl melt chocolate, then mix w/ the 2 cups filling and set aside.
6. In the remaining filling add vanilla.
7. Place half of this mixture on top of crust.
8. Take the chocolate mixture and drop by teaspoonfuls in a circle on top of the above. Be sure to leave the center clear of chocolate and also a 3 inch edge around crust.
9. Carefully spoon remaining vanilla mixture over all covering the chocolate carefully so not to disturb ring but making a smooth top.
10. Place in a glass pan* with 2 cups of water and bake at 400° for 15 minutes. Bake another 50 minutes, lowering the oven temp 25 degrees every 10 minutes stopping at 300°. Let cool till room temp and then cover and refrigerate overnight.
*We set the cake in a deep dish pizza pan with an inch or two of water in it. For some reason, I don’t know why, this prevents the cheesecake from cracking. Maybe it’s the steam keeping the cake moist.
April 29, 2013 — 9:17 AM
Meg says:
I love making no-bake cheesecake because I hate recipes. You mean I have to follow instructions for this? No! Okay, yes. You do. But I love the ones where they’re so simple I don’t have to remember the instructions step by step, because they’re so easy I can just internalize the steps. That’s what this is. I brought this to an event at my school once and got nasty looks from the other grad students for having time to make cheesecake while writing a thesis. Or maybe they thought I was bribing the professors. Either way.
The ingredients are easy. Graham cracker crumbs, white sugar, powdered sugar, butter, either two blocks of cream cheese or equal amounts of cream cheese and mascarpone/another alternate cream cheese, and whipping cream (the whipping cream and the powdered sugar are for making whipped cream. If you don’t have the brief time necessary to make the whipping cream, you can use ready-made, but it tastes different). For the ingredients, the butter should be melted and the cream cheeses should be room temperature.
I also have learned, in my decades of college, that a list of necessary tools can be handy. You never know. So — you also need a pie tin of some sort, space in your fridge for the finished product (it doesn’t have to be for long. This tends to get eaten rather quickly), and either a variety of mixer attachments or the ability to shove dirty dishes aside in order to wash whatever you do have for your mixer in between steps. I find a flexible spatula to be handy for the crust part, but other people have been known to use a plastic baggie to press the pie crust into shape, or their hands. As you do. You’re also going to want three bowls, one to mix the crust, one to mix the cream cheese, and one to mix the whipping cream (because that gets folded into the mix, the cream cheese bowl should be rather hefty). You can get by with just two bowls and something to melt the butter in if you employ the Lazy Graduate Student method and have the graham crackers and sugar for the crust pre-mixed in your pie tin and just pour the butter in on top and mix it up in there. Don’t tell my thesis committee I did that.
Almost every box of graham crackers has a recipe on it for how to make a graham cracker crust (which with a no bake cheesecake is optional, as you can make the filling as a custard without a crust, but the crust is also tasty). It’s usually an obscene amount of butter to graham crackers and sugar. The one I make the most often is 1 1/2 cups of graham crackers, six tablespoons of melted butter, and 1/3 cup of white sugar. Mix it all together and push it into a pie tin with a spatula; done. You can pop it in the fridge or freezer to set while you do the rest of it.
Then, very simply mix equal parts of regular cream cheese and mascarpone cheese together at room temperature. Make sure it’s at room temperature. And hey, no mascarpone? That’s okay. Use two blocks of regular cream cheese. Or another kind of cream cheese. Not the kind that has chives in it though; nobody needs chive cheesecake. That sounds like a horror invented on Iron Chef to be eaten alongside Caviar Bacon Pineapple Schnapps ice cream or something.
Anyway, take your cream-cheese-a-palooza and mix it together at room temperature, then fold in whipped cream. I prefer homemade whipped cream, which is whipping cream + mixer + powdered sugar. You can make a very sweet whipped cream or a very not sweet whipped cream that way. But, if you really like something that comes in a tub or a can from the store, you can do that too. The tub-brands tend to hold up better in the cheesecake than the spray-brands, which is where making your own is awesome. If you prefer the layered sort of cheesecake, you can just make the whipped cream separately and put that in on top, but I like mine integrated.
Once you’re satisfied with the texture and the taste, chill the whole thing in the fridge. Then eat it.
April 29, 2013 — 9:19 AM
partlowspool says:
It’s amazing how much the definition of “easy” varies from person to person.
I have two chocolate delights to suggest for you, both easy but delicious.
Nutella No Bake Cookies (Don’t even have to turn on the oven!)
3 tablespoons butter
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1/4 cup milk
1 tablespoon unsweetened cocoa powder
1/4 cup peanut butter
3/4 cup Nutella hazelnut spread
2 cups rolled oats
In a medium to large saucepan, melt the butter over medium to medium-low heat. Add the sugar, milk, and cocoa powder and mix until combined. Stir in the peanut butter and Nutella until melted, followed by the oats. Remove from stove. Continue mixing until all of the ingredients are incorporated.
Working quickly, use a small ice cream scoop to shape balls of dough and place them on a parchment-lined sheet pan (or in mini muffin cupcake liners). Refrigerate for thirty minutes until firm. Store in an airtight container.
Booze Brownies
21 ounces fudge brownie mix ( or brownies made from favorite recipe)
1/4 cup Bourbon (or rum)
1 cup butter
3 tablespoons rum (or amaretto)
2 cups powdered sugar
1 cup chocolate chips
1 tablespoon vegetable shortening
Bake brownies according to package directions. Drizzle brownies with bourbon as soon as removed from oven; refrigerate.
Cream butter, rum and powdered sugar. Spread on cooled brownies. Refrigerate again.
When cold, melt chocolate chips and shortening together. Spread or drizzle quickly on top of brownies. Chill.
Two notes: Do not increase alcohol amounts. Really. And if you use the rum/amaretto combo, the result tastes less boozy and a bit like a chocolate covered cherry. You could use any two liquors/liqueurs you like the combination of.
April 29, 2013 — 9:23 AM
Kathy Holzapfel says:
Two of my fave foods: pineapple and angel food cake. Here’s two simple recipes, one requires baking, the other uses a ready-made cake.
Pineapple Angel Food Cake
Ingredients:
1 box Betty Crocker (1 step) angel food cake mix
1 20 oz. can crushed pineapple, undrained
Directions:
Put dry cake mix in bowl. (Ignore box directions.) Add can of pineapple with juice. Mix with spoon/spatula until all dry mix is incorporated. Should be fluffy/frothy. Pour into ungreased 9×13 pan. Bake at 350 degrees for 30-40 minutes, until golden brown and springs back when touched in middle.
Angel Fluff Cake
Ingredients:
1 can (20 oz.) crushed pineapple in Juice, undrained
1 pkg. (3.4 oz.) Jello vanilla instant pudding
1cup thawed Cool Whip
1 10 oz. round angel food cake, cut into 3 layers
Directions:
Mix pineapple and dry pudding mix. Gently stir in Cool Whip.
Stack cake layers on plate, spreading pudding mixture between layers and on top of cake. Refrigerate 1 hour before serving.
April 29, 2013 — 9:54 AM
Kathy Holzapfel says:
PS – I really hate when you ask for recipes and book recommendations because I end up trying and buying at least half of them. Calories! Money! Guess what I’m saying is, post more pics of Bdub. Sweet-yet-Nonfattening!
April 29, 2013 — 10:02 AM
terribleminds says:
Hah! Sorry. I know! I like to try ’em too.
April 29, 2013 — 10:12 AM
Tia Kalla (@tiakall) says:
I am a cooking dunce in general, so I know how you feel about dessert baking 🙂 As a dessert lover nonetheless, I have therefore gotten good at the easy-to-make dessert.
When I needed a hors d’ouvre-type dessert for a group meeting, one of my Nano buddies suggested putting a Milky Way inside a crescent roll. Which may sound silly, but it is delicious. (I’m pretty sure anything inside a crescent roll is delicious, but Milky Way seemed to respond incredibly well to being baked.) I just cut the crescent rolls in half, then wrapped a fun-size (the square kind) Milky Way inside each one. You do have to press the seams to make sure they’re tight, otherwise they’ll leak (but if they leak, you’ll have a disc of crispy caramel attached instead. Win-win!) Put them on a sheet pan (on parchment paper – I swear by the stuff) and cook for whatever the crescent roll package says (usually 11-13 minutes as I recall.) Eat while warm and gooey. You could also try a full-sized mini bar in a whole crescent roll, but I haven’t tried that myself, so I don’t know how the chocolate to bread deliciousness ratio is.
One of my coworkers has a very simple dessert recipe – a pecan on top of a Rolo, on top of a mini-pretzel. Place in that order, then bake in oven long enough for things to stick together but not lose their shape.
If you’re a griller, another one I busted out during grilling season that I will fully admit I stole from Paula Deen is the grilled banana s’more:
1. Procure large chocolate chip cookies (I baked mine with store bought dough since large cookies are hard to find/expensive when you do/also tend to be thick)
2. Place mini-marshmallows and semi-sweet chocolate chips on top of large cookie.
3. Cut banana in half lengthwise and widthwise while still in skin, and grill it to taste. You really only need a couple of minutes to get it caramelized and get the grill marks on it.
4. Peel banana and place on top of s’more.
5. Top it off with another cookie.
6. Wrap the whole affair in aluminum foil and place on grill. Cook until melty. This takes a little longer than the banana, but I wouldn’t leave it unattended for too long.
April 29, 2013 — 10:02 AM
Justine Spencer says:
EASY ALERT!!!
You need: one box of chocolate graham crackers; a tub of whipped topping; and a bottle of chocolate syrup.
Layer all three like lasagna in a brownie pan, i.e., crackers, then whipped topping, and drizzle on some syrup. Repeat until you reach the top of the dish, finishing off with whipped top and a little more syrup (make a pretty design if you want).
Throw it in the fridge overnight and magic happens.
Enjoy!
April 29, 2013 — 10:09 AM
S.W. Sondheimer says:
Oakmont Bakery Burnt Almond Torte:
1)drive to PIttsburgh. Continue on to Oakmont
2) fight rest of city for parking spot outside bakery
3) enter bakery
4) stand, paralyzed, looking at all options and going into diabetic ketoacidosis from most wonderful smell in all the world.
5) purchase large Burnt Almond Torte even though you only need/intended to purchase small one. get suckered into polish donuts. realize you need to plan ahead next time to prevent paralysis.
variation:
order online
http://shop.oakmontbakery.com/index.php
April 29, 2013 — 10:20 AM
Gabryyl Pierce (@Gabryyl) says:
Pour your favorite pie filling into a baking dish, pour a box of dry white cake mix over top, melt a stick of butter and pour it over the entire pan. Bake at 325 until cake mix is golden. Voila.
April 29, 2013 — 11:24 AM
Charlotte Grubbs (@stopdropreload) says:
Seven layer bars. They are ridiculously easy to make, and I’ve never met a person who upon tasting one didn’t get a crazed look in their eye and demand both the recipe and the rest to take home, and woe betide you if you deny them.
You’ll need:
1/2 cup unsalted butter
1 1/2 cups graham cracker crumbs
8 ounces semi-sweet chocolate chips
8 ounces butterscotch chips
12 ounces shredded coconut
1 (14 oz) can sweetened condensed milk
1) Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
2) Take a package of graham crackers, still wrapped, and just straight-up whale on it. Beat it to dust. Show it no mercy. I like using a heavy, flat-bottomed metal measuring cup, but it’s your call. (One package should give you one a half cups, but if not, or if you have some extra aggression to work out, feel free to pulverize one of its friends.)
3) Melt butter in the microwave. Thirty seconds should do it.
4) Spray 13×9 baking pan with non-stick cooling spray.
5) Combine butter and graham cracker crumbs, and smush the two ingredients into paste. Press be-buttered graham cracker crumbs into bottom of pan, spread into a single, relatively even layer.
6) Pour condensed milk over graham cracker crust. It won’t cover the bottom of the pan entirely, but that’s okay. Magic happens in the oven.
7) Sprinkle chocolate chips, butterscotch chips, and shredded coconut, in six alternating layers, over the graham cracker crust. You can even get really crazy and add nuts, but why mess with perfection?
8) Bake for 25 to 30 minutes, until coconut has turned a golden brown. Remove from oven. Resist temptation to begin shoveling goodness into you mouth right there (trust me, that way lies only second degree tongue burns and regret). Use a spatula to loosen the sides.
9) Wait for the pan to cool. It will be one of the most difficult waits in your life, but it will be worth it.
10) Cut into bars. Taste. Acknowledge that life as you have experienced it up until this moment has been meaningless.
If that all sounds too complicated – trust me, it’s not. If my ten year old self* could do it with a minimum of permanent scarring (watch out for jagged can lids) then so can you. Presumably.
*Yeah, I don’t know why my normally overly-cautious parents were letting a ten year old operate the oven with no adult supervision. Just go with it.
April 29, 2013 — 11:31 AM
Kate Haggard says:
Doesn’t get much easier than granita. It’s easy, it’s cheap, and it’s a perfect summer time treat. Not to mention you can use it as an ingredient in cocktails (or smoothies if you’re a teetotaler.)
Here’s a strawberry (I’m on a strawberry kick) version:
1c hot water
3/4c sugar
2tbs lemon juice
1lb of strawberries (or other berry) with a few extra if you like garnish
Make a simple syrup with the water, sugar and lemon juice. (So heat until the sugar’s entirely dissolved for the folks that don’t booze it up at home.) Puree if your berries. Mix ’em up and pour into a metal or glass baking dish. Freeze. You can scrap with a fork every half hour or just wait until the whole thing’s solid. Either way, scrap into a dish and enjoy.
There’s lots of variations to be found through the old googly search. Alton Brown also has a coffee version out there that I need to make and put in my morning iced coffee – http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/alton-brown/coffee-granita-recipe/index.html
April 29, 2013 — 12:18 PM
Kate Haggard says:
SCRAPE. Not scrap. Geeze, you’d think my E key were broken or something.
April 29, 2013 — 12:19 PM
Paul Grignon says:
Hey, Chuck, you want sheer decadence? Easy chocolate decadence? Well, then this one’s for you. WARNING: Extremely rich dessert. One tiny helping is enough. Enough said. Here is the simple recipe for
Chocolate Mousse Orgasm:
Remember this rule: 12-10-8
12 ounces semi-sweet chocolate morsels (better yet, make ’em dark chocolate)
10 tablespoons unsalted butter
8 eggs
Get a bowl, preferably metal, and put it in the fridge.
Melt chocolate and butter in a double-boiler. Make sure water doesn’t actually boil; just enough to melt the chocolate/butter until dissolved.
Separate eggs; two bowls, one for whites, one for yolks. IMPORTANT: Make sure NOT to get any yolk in the whites or the whites will not whip.
Once chocolate mixture is dissolved and creamy, add one yolk at a time into the chocolate and stir until no trace of yolk is visible. Repeat process for remaining seven yolks.
Take bowl out of fridge. Add egg whites. Beat furiously until stiff peaks form.
Slowly ‘fold’ chocolate mixture into the whipped egg whites. (You do not want to deflate the whites.)
Fold until there are no whites at all to be seen. The mixture should be all chocolate with tiny air bubbles.
Pour into another bowl or smaller, ramekin-style bowls.
Refrigerate immediately until firm.
Once firm, eat it as is, or add a dollop of whipped cream and dark chocolate shavings on top.
See? I told you it was easy, and decadent. Enjoy!
April 29, 2013 — 12:23 PM
rebeccadouglass says:
Chocolate Crazy Cake
for an 8X8″ pan
In a bowl or in the pan, mix:
1 1/2 cups flour (white or whole wheat)
1 cup white sugar
3 Tablespoons baking cocoa (the unsweetened powdered stuff)
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 Tablespoon vinegar
2 Tablespoons oil
1 cup water
April 29, 2013 — 12:40 PM
rebeccadouglass says:
comment thing froze on me as usual. Here’s the rest:
mix it all up until there are no dry parts. Bake for 30 minutes at 350 deg. F.
Best part: no eggs (or any other dairy), so you can eat the batter, which is kind of zingy on account of the vinegar.
April 29, 2013 — 12:41 PM
mittensmorgul says:
Dump cake. Five-year-old girl scouts can make it in a box oven in the wilderness. And it’s nomulent.
April 29, 2013 — 1:10 PM
Sarah E says:
Cranachan, aka (by my friends anyway) Porridge of the Gods, in which whiskey is an essential ingredient. Much nicer than it sounds, easy-peasy and absolutely heavenly (if you like whiskey). Recipe link below, adjust to taste. Top tip from veteran cranachan makers – stir it all together and leave it for 15 minutes before you eat it to let those flavours mingle. You want a decent Scotch, not Bourbon for this.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/cranachan_66101
April 29, 2013 — 1:39 PM
Joseph says:
Cook bacon until it is crispy. Let it cool. Dip it in melted dark chocolate and coat with chopped nuts (peanuts are good). Refrigerate for a bit to set. Not original but F’in awesome and very easy.
April 29, 2013 — 2:16 PM
Emilie P. Bush says:
easiest dessert ever: Vegan Chocolate mousse
IN A BLENDER : blend together 1 box Japanese style soft tofu (the little shelf stable boxes) a pinch of salt and a bag of MELTED chocolate chips (melt chocolate chips in a microwave. Use a bowl. don’t micro in the bag, dude. – OPTION — ADD a shot of LIQUOR like peppermint schnapps or coffee or Frangelico ).
Pour the blended chocolate mousse into bowls and enjoy – OR pour into a store bought chocolate pie shell.
This is a goodie because you can keep the ingredients in the pantry for ages. It takes less than five minutes to make. AND it’s full of protein. And chocolate.
April 29, 2013 — 2:34 PM
Laura says:
I hesitate to even call this a recipe, since it’s so damn easy. But it’s one of the best summer desserts. Ever.
1 cup raspberries
1 cup strawberries
1 cup blueberries
1/4 cup heavy whipping cream
1/4 cup maple syrup
Stir the whipping cream and maple syrup together.
Stir the cream and maple syrup into the berries.
Let sit for 45 minutes to an hour. You’re done. Eat it all up.
(Clearly, other berry variations are equally awesome).
From: http://kathdedon.wordpress.com/2010/07/20/berries-and-cream/
April 29, 2013 — 3:03 PM
Jessica Nelson says:
This is also good with blackberries, and soak all the berries in good vodka for an hour or so.
April 29, 2013 — 3:15 PM
Laura says:
Ooooh. I like the way you think…
April 29, 2013 — 5:29 PM