I’m going to give away two mass market paperback copies of Blackbirds.
Er, first, though, watch that video up there — Book Show Book Show! I’d not seen this show before and thought it brimming with a foamy head of hilarity. And of course Danny was kind enough to review Blackbirds with equal dollops of hilarity-foam (at around the 6:15 mark).
Oh! And you can hear me talk about the book (and roadkill, profanity, elk masturbation) here.
Finally, come by the Doylestown Bookshop! Friday, June 22nd. 7pm. ‘Cause I’ll be there signing!
Okay, back to the giveaway.
I’m giving away two copies.
You’ve two ways to get one of these copies.
First way: in the comments below post your own “famous last words.” No more than 50 words, please. Your deathbed saying can be poignant or hilarious or sad or weird or whatever. My favorite will get a copy of the book. Only enter one such comment, please. If you start posting a bunch of entries, I’ll delete you and I’ll do donuts on your lawn in a garbage truck.
Second way: tweet the following —
I’d kill for a copy of BLACKBIRDS, by @ChuckWendig. Would you? http://bit.ly/LEkUP1 #carpetnoodle
That hashtag is key. So is the link (which takes folks to this very page). Only tweet this once, please.
I’ll choose someone randomly from the tweets.
You have until 9AM EST on Friday (6/15) to get in your entries.
You may enter each once time only — and yes, you can enter both.
I’ll pay for shipping if you’re in the United States.
Internationally, the shipping is on you, my friendly little ducks.
Quinn says:
My left toe’s testicle really is bigger than my right toe’s testicle.
June 14, 2012 — 12:17 AM
T.L. Bodine says:
Last words: “It was worth it.”
Also, yay giveaways! (hoping that’s /not/ my last words….)
June 14, 2012 — 1:58 AM
j.r. murdock says:
I should have seen that coming…
June 14, 2012 — 2:13 AM
Danzier says:
“Good night. I’ll see you in the morning. I love you… Aw, damnit, I left my teeth in again.” Said in the squeeky, scratchy voice of a 110-year-old woman with dentures.
June 14, 2012 — 3:21 AM
R Thomas Allwin says:
“I swear, if it was possible to die from boredom I’d…”
June 14, 2012 — 4:05 AM
Natalie says:
I don’t know what we were worried about, this is a piece of cake!
June 14, 2012 — 4:06 AM
Laura Libricz says:
“I don’t want to die in obscurity!”
June 14, 2012 — 7:05 AM
Laura Libricz says:
Oh, I already have a copy of Blackbirds, so don’t give it to me.
June 14, 2012 — 7:06 AM
Jim Franklin says:
“Don’t stop me. I have to go in there alone and face the Naked Nymphomaniac Lesbians of Alpha Centuri before they destroy the world. Lock the door after me, and no matter how much I scream please don’t open it again.”
June 14, 2012 — 7:16 AM
Miguel says:
Famous Last Words:
“You piffling idiot.”
June 14, 2012 — 7:19 AM
Mitch Marty says:
Hey Chuck,
Just a heads up, I checked the twitter link and it doesn’t redirect here. The link opens to a page that was “…2012/6/13…” and the link from the page you posted today is “…2012/6/14…”
So, I took the liberty to delete my old tweet and use this link instead, hoping that would lead to more hits on this page: http://bit.ly/LEkUP1
June 14, 2012 — 7:44 AM
terribleminds says:
@MM —
You, sir, are a scholar and a gentleman. Fixed, and thanks!
— c.
June 14, 2012 — 7:46 AM
Gregor says:
“Come closer, my child. There, there. No need to worry about money when I’m gone. I’ve hidden one of the last remaining copies of Action Comics #1 in the…OH, GOD, NO! MOMMY!”
June 14, 2012 — 7:54 AM
Lugh says:
“Wait, I hear it! God’s voice, for the first time! He says, ‘Be nice, and get over your bullshit. Why is that so hard, you stupid schmucks?'”
(Hoping that multiple last words in a single comment doesn’t earn me the wrong kind of donuts…)
“No, you bastard. I’d rather die.”
“But I didn’t do it!”
“Good night ladies, it’s time to leave you now.”
Though, honestly, T.L Bodine took the best last words already.
June 14, 2012 — 8:26 AM
Dan says:
“Nobody has to die here — just put the spatula down!”
June 14, 2012 — 8:29 AM
kim says:
Perfumed and exhumed.
June 14, 2012 — 8:43 AM
Johann Thorsson says:
“Don’t give me that ‘Eyes bulging, skin twitching, ears bleeding’ nonsense again! I feel fine!”
June 14, 2012 — 9:17 AM
Oddmonster says:
“Nah, go ahead and hand some over. I mean, what are the odds someone’d have a deathly allergy to tangerine-flavored Pringles?”
June 14, 2012 — 9:21 AM
Shane Dodd says:
“Well, shit…”
June 14, 2012 — 9:23 AM
Ken says:
“There is no way this could go wrong.”
OR
“Oh my fuck, what is that delightful smell?”
June 14, 2012 — 9:24 AM
Sam says:
I will say to a hat rack in my independent living facility, “Could you pass the Nutella please?”
Before the rack passes the Nutella I will die in anticipation of chocolate, not death, and my family will be glad to see me finally go.
June 14, 2012 — 9:25 AM
Matthew Gill says:
Coconuts. I knew I should of worn clean underwear.
June 14, 2012 — 9:31 AM
Martha Bechtel says:
“Whoops!”
June 14, 2012 — 9:35 AM
Yehuda Cohen says:
Last words: “Behold, you are about to witness the greatest feat science has produced since the beginning of time. Now, without further ado, please turn your attention to the platform to the left. The molecules making up my body will reconfigure there in a manner of seconds.”
June 14, 2012 — 9:45 AM
David Ellis says:
“Here lies a writer, that could not excite her, so now he’s six feet under and the view couldn’t be better.”
June 14, 2012 — 9:50 AM
MageMistress says:
I’ve already read Blackbirds (which is awesome), but my last word will assuredly be “ACANTHUS!!!!!!” as I am quite sure that my *favorite* Time Mage will be the death of me.
If you want to know just how awesome Blackbirds is (in my ever so humble opinion), my review is here:
http://magemistress.com/what-im-reading/review_blackbirds/
June 14, 2012 — 9:50 AM
Andrija Popovic says:
“Shit… is that my arm over there? Yeah, that’s mine. Hey? Can someone call my office and tell them I’m pretty much dead? Hello? Little help? Douchebags…”
June 14, 2012 — 9:55 AM
Daniel Swensen (@surlymuse) says:
“Try jiggling it.”
June 14, 2012 — 10:00 AM
Jeff Shelby says:
Download my balls, Facebook.
June 14, 2012 — 10:14 AM
T.J. Janneff says:
“Jesus, that waffle iron hurts!”
June 14, 2012 — 10:28 AM
Daniel says:
“Let’s ask that guy, he looks friendly.”
June 14, 2012 — 10:37 AM
Scott Bonner says:
Naw, man, my wife will be cool with it.
June 14, 2012 — 10:48 AM
Casz Brewster says:
Miriam said there’d be days like this.
June 14, 2012 — 10:53 AM
Laura says:
“Back off, I know what I’m doing.”
June 14, 2012 — 11:23 AM
Laura Hughes (@MittensMorgul) says:
Don’t worry about me, I drink too much coffee to die. It would take weeks for that much caffeine to leave my system. Maybe this is how the zombie apocalypse starts… Can you pass the brains, please?
June 14, 2012 — 11:28 AM
Jessie says:
“Fresh” clams my ass!
June 14, 2012 — 11:41 AM
garyp0705 says:
Zzzzzzzzzz………
June 14, 2012 — 11:47 AM
EA Campbell says:
“Don’t be like me.”
June 14, 2012 — 11:59 AM
Cory says:
Yes, I’m sure I shut off the power. Now give me those wire cutters…
June 14, 2012 — 12:19 PM
Ernesto I Ramirez says:
“If you came to say ‘I told you so’, you can go and fuck yourself.”
June 14, 2012 — 12:53 PM
MSM says:
“All that for nothing”
June 14, 2012 — 1:48 PM
Tim says:
“Look at the little guy. Isn’t he cute?”
June 14, 2012 — 1:54 PM
Rick A. Carroll says:
Of course it will fit, just push against me.
June 14, 2012 — 2:38 PM
Noelle says:
“DONT FORGET THE MOOSE MEATTTTTTT…!”
June 14, 2012 — 2:42 PM
Ruth says:
Hey give that back, I’m on page 313, took the hard copy right in the head.
https://twitter.com/EerieJogger/status/213340021707653121
June 14, 2012 — 2:43 PM
April V. says:
Hey guys! Look what I can do!
June 14, 2012 — 2:55 PM
Michelle says:
I knew I should have taken that left turn in Albuquerque.
June 14, 2012 — 2:58 PM
Rich Amooi says:
Dang. A black widow just went and crawled up my ass during naked barnyard yoga. It tickles quite nicely, but I know it’s gonna fuck me up like a bitch. Time for an emergency bucket list:
1) Read Chuck Wendig’s “Blackbrids.”
2) Bang cousin Becky.
Is it hot in here?
June 14, 2012 — 3:06 PM
Ellie Ann says:
Helllllo, Poison Ivy. *puckers lips*
June 14, 2012 — 4:13 PM
Jim Snell says:
Nah, that’s OK, I can do it tomorrow.
June 14, 2012 — 4:51 PM
Timothy John Whitcher says:
Famous last words:
“Could you sign this: ‘To the Love of My Life. Chuck’?”
June 14, 2012 — 4:55 PM