Posts Tagged ‘foodporn’
Pho, as you may know, is a very popular Vietnamese noodle soup. It’s popular because it’s fucking awesome and will blow your face open with comfort and deliciousness. True, one would not normally associate “face blown open” with “comfort,” but hey, life is some complex shit. You’re just going to have to make peace with your gods on this one.
The reason I wanted to procure a waffle-maker is that my pancakes never turn out right. I’ve made pancakes for years. Years. I’ve tried dozens of recipes — and, let’s be frank, it’s not like you have that many varieties of pancake recipe out there. It’s not like you find that one special recipe where you’re suddenly all, “OH MY GOD, this recipe uses seal blubber and oregano!”
Take one butternut squash. They’re ugly, I know. They look like the decapitated — and also featureless — head of Charlie Brown’s dog, Snoopy. Did I need to say that first part? “Charlie Brown’s dog?” You already know who Snoopy is, don’t you? You presumably haven’t been living under a lichen-encrusted rock somewhere.
You are now going to make beef stew. With short ribs. Don’t argue with me. We don’t have time for your mewling pleas and jibbering jabbers. The Devil and his consort will be here soon. For dinner. And they expect to be fed, by golly. What are you going to tell him? Are you going to look jolly ol’ Lucifer in the eye and say, “Hey, sorry, Lucy old chap, I was too busy?”
It’s time for another NSFW recipe. This time: sausage, apples and pasta in brown butter sauce. It’s delicious. I mean, it’ll fucking kill you. You’ll eat this and a great big cholesterol-laden ball will lodge in your heart and you’ll seize up but fuck it, you’ll gurgle and coo happily while perishing. Ready? OPEN YOUR MOUTH AND YOUR MIND.
